Authors: Adrianne Byrd
C
arissa remained in bed for three days with a box of Kleenex. She’d refused to eat and had slept very little.
Why didn’t I just tell him the truth?
The question swirled endlessly in her mind, accelerating her tears.
She’d lost everything. Nothing mattered anymore.
She clutched her pillow and buried her face in its softness. At any moment, she feared the growing ache within her would destroy her. The pain was the worst part, she concluded.
A soft knock sounded at the door, seconds before Helena poked her head through. “Good. You’re up.” She eased inside, carrying a tray. “I brought you some soup. And don’t worry, the kitchen is still intact.”
Carissa wiped her tears with the back of her hand. “I’m not hungry.”
“You’ve got to eat something.” Helena ignored her protest and sat the tray on the bed, then helped her try to sit up. “Oh, sweetheart. You look awful.” She brushed her niece’s unruly hair from her face to see the tracks of Carissa’s tears. “Oh, baby. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this.”
“Yeah, right.” Carissa shrugged from her aunt’s touch. “Weren’t you the one pushing for me to discover love?”
“But I never wanted you to end up with a broken heart. That’s a pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone.”
“But it’s a part of the deal, right?”
Helena sat on the edge of the bed. “Sometimes. I guess I would know that more than anyone.”
“How do you do it?” Carissa’s blurry gaze centered on her. “How do you get past the pain?”
“I know this is a cliché, but time really does heal all wounds.”
“That’s what you said about my father’s death.”
Helena lowered his gaze. “Some pain takes longer than others.” She was silent for a moment before she looked up again. “But you can’t give up on love, sweetie. There is such a thing as a soul mate. I still believe that.”
“I don’t see how you do it,” Carissa responded honestly. “When this is all over, I can’t imagine risking my heart again. It just hurts too damn much.”
“I hope you’re wrong,” Helena said, finding her niece’s gaze again. “I think you have so much to offer.
You’re not as bad as you think you are. In the time that you spent with Nathan, I think you learned not to hate yourself so much. You let go of your guilt. You let your hair down and gave everyone a glimpse of the beautiful woman you are.”
“And in the end, I lost the man I loved.”
“Are you sure?”
Carissa moved the tray and stood from the bed. “If I’ve learned anything about Nathan, it’s how much he treasures honesty. That’s what’s so terrible. I knew that and still…”
“You’re not going to achieve anything by remaining cooped up in your bedroom and beating yourself up.”
“Don’t you think I deserve it?” Carissa snapped.
“No. I don’t.” Helena jumped to her feet. “You’re selling yourself short and maybe even selling Nathan short. Tell him the truth. Sit him down and just explain why you didn’t tell him who you were. There is such a thing as forgiveness.”
Her aunt’s heartfelt speech made sense. But the fear of more rejection warded off her hopes. “You weren’t there. You didn’t see how he looked at me. As if he didn’t know me anymore.” A sad laugh shook her small body. “But then again, how could he? I never told him who I was.”
“He knows your heart. That’s how he was able to fall in love with you. That’s who he’s still in love with.”
Carissa turned, shaking her head. “You’re a hopeless romantic, Auntie.”
“I know. Now if I can just get you to follow in my footsteps.”
Nathan lay on his couch and gazed into the darkness. How had he allowed this to happen again? Was he ever going to learn his lesson? He knew from experience that time healed all wounds, but he had a feeling he would never get over Carissa Cartel.
He could hear George as he trotted over and lay next to the couch. “I guess it’s just you and me, kid.” He reached down and caressed his soft coat.
Suddenly the living-room light clicked on and Gina entered.
“You’re really starting to worry me, Nate.”
Groaning, he sat up to make room for her on the couch. “Don’t. I’m a big boy. I can take care of myself.”
She slapped his bare back hard. “Don’t get sassy with me. I know you and I know that you’re hurting. But it seems to be that you won’t be able to get past this until you at least go over and talk to her.”
“Why? So she can tell me another lie? Gina, when I think about how stupid I must have looked to her, I just want to throw something.”
“Look, I don’t know the girl, but I have a feeling that there is more to this story than what meets the eye.”
Nathan shook his head. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but there’s no point to this. You know how I feel about honesty. How can I build a relationship with someone I can’t trust?”
Gina placed her hand against his cheek. “That’s just it. I think that you
do
trust her.” She held up a
hand before he could interrupt. “I understand that you’re disappointed. But after listening to you for the past couple of weeks, I have no doubts that you do trust her. Your heart trusts her. Just think about it.”
“I still don’t know, Gina. I don’t think that I can forgive her.” He expelled a long breath and shook his head. “I just can’t stop feeling like a complete fool. You should have seen how I chased after her, fawning like some lovesick teenager. That’s the worst thing. How can I forgive that?”
Gina lowered her head to avoid seeing the pain in his eyes. “I don’t know. But can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“What would you have said if she’d told you the truth?”
Nathan pulled himself up from the couch and paced in front of her. “Nothing. When we met, I had no idea what part Cartel played in my father’s heart attack.”
“Where were you when you did find out?”
He shrugged. “Nowhere. She’d refused my advances and pretty much stopped coming to the hospital.”
Gina stood. “Don’t you see? She was trying to protect you.”
“Or she was trying to cover up her sins. No. I’m right about her,” he declared with conviction. “She’s lived up to the myth. She’ll stop at nothing to get what she wants.”
“And she’s done all this to acquire Edwards Electronics?”
“Apparently.”
Gina shook her head. “I don’t buy it, Nate. Your father’s company isn’t even in the same league as Cartel Enterprises. It doesn’t make sense that she would go through so much trouble just to acquire it.”
“Look, I don’t know much about corporate America. But I can’t think of any other reason for her deceiving me like she did. You weren’t here, so you can’t possibly understand.”
“Maybe you’re right,” Gina agreed. “Anyway, George and I are heading back to Miami in the morning. Do you know when you’re coming home?”
“Soon. Travis should be out of the hospital soon. After that, it’s business as usual.”
“All right. I’m off to bed.” She turned to leave, then stopped to face him again. “Look, you’re never going to learn the truth by chasing speculation. Take my advice and go talk to her.”
When Nathan lowered his head and didn’t respond, she gave up. “Good night, guys.” She reached down and scratched behind George’s ears and went off to bed.
Colin Hunter spent the past three days watching his stepson’s heartbreak slowly destroy him. And he was well aware that he was responsible. Yet he knew a confession would dissolve their relationship.
Maybe if he waited, Nathan would forget about Carissa Cartel and move on with his life. He shook
his head. Who was he kidding? It was a matter of time before Travis told Nathan that Hunter worked for Cartel Enterprises. In fact, he was surprised that neither Travis nor Carissa had said anything.
Colin swiveled his chair around to stare out at the skyline of Atlanta. Even Cartel hadn’t been in the office, which was out of character for a workaholic.
“You’ve really outdone yourself, old boy.” He shook his head, wishing there were an easier route to undo the damage he’d done. But he wasn’t going to get off that easy.
For years, he’d blamed Travis for his broken heart. Now he understood with perfect clarity that he needed to own up to his sins. And it all started when he fell in love with Valerie Edwards. He didn’t mean to, it was just something that happened.
Colin stood from the chair and paced in front of the window as he remembered the past. While Travis was away in Vietnam, he’d believed it was his duty to look after Val, but the more he was around her, the more he loved her.
In reality, he knew she came to him out of loneliness and he took advantage of the situation. However, he wasn’t prepared for Travis’s return. Val made it clear that she was still in love with her husband and didn’t want their affair to come to light. Colin had other plans.
He couldn’t give her up that easily, and he was more than willing to sacrifice his relationship with his best friend for the love of his wife…
Chicago, 1972
“What the hell is going on here?” Travis’s heated gaze darted from Val to Colin.
Neither spoke.
Travis took a threatening step toward his once-trusted friend, his hands clenched at his sides. “I asked you a question.”
Colin watched helplessly as a wall of pain descended on his friend. How could he explain what had happened? How do you explain betrayal?
“You son of a bitch!” Travis flew toward him.
Before Colin could react, his head snapped back when Travis’s steel fist landed across his jaw. The taste of blood seeped into his mouth. He tried to regain his bearing, but another punch jerked his head in the opposite direction.
Val’s screams rang in his ears as he tried to hang on to consciousness. But something within him prevented him from fighting back. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was convinced that he deserved it.
Colin wasn’t too worried about Travis attacking Val. He knew that he would never lay a hand on her.
Hours later, Colin woke with a cold compress pressed to his forehead and with Val sobbing softly beside him.
“What happened?” he asked.
The question deepened her sobs. “He’s gone.”
A swell of relief washed over him. Lord knew he wasn’t ready for round two of his beating. “I’m sure when he calms down, we can try to talk to him.”
When she shook her head, he placed a reassuring hand against her shoulder. “I’m sorry. This is all my fault. I’ll make him understand that I’m to blame in all of this. I’ll leave town if I have to.”
She looked at him then. “You don’t understand. I know my husband. He’s never going to forgive us and he’s never coming back.”
Colin closed his eyes from the pain of the past. He was responsible for Nathan’s pain, and for nearly thirty years he’d kept the truth from him. But now he couldn’t do it any longer. After Travis and Val’s divorce, he stuck around, hoping against hope she’d learn to love him.
But she never did. She loved Travis until the day she died and that knowledge drove him to seek revenge. And he got his chance when Edwards Electronics experienced financial trouble. It all seemed so simple. He didn’t expect the heart attack or any of the other ensuing medical problems. And the last thing he expected was for Nathan to come running to a man he confessed to hating for most of his life. But that’s when everything got complicated.
If Nathan learned the truth, would he forgive him, or would he cut him out of his life as well? The thought scared him. But it was time to end the madness. Determined, Colin left his office and headed to Northside Hospital. It was time to talk to Travis and Nathan.
C
olin’s heart hammered in his chest as he walked down the halls of Northside Hospital. The stakes were high. Not only was he laying his pride on the line and subjecting himself to humiliation in front of Travis, but he was sure that he was about to lose the most important person in his life: his son.
He arrived in front of Travis’s private room all too soon, and his perfectly prepared speech seemed to have evaporated in his head. Yet he couldn’t turn back now. He could never turn back.
His hands trembled as he pressed against the door and entered. He didn’t get far into the room before Travis’s murderous glare stopped him dead in his tracks.
“I see the doctors were wrong.” Travis’s gruff voice
boomed in the room. “I did die. And since you’re here, this must be hell.”
Despite the circumstances, Travis’ sarcasm won a slight smile from Colin. “I see you haven’t lost your wonderful sense of humor.”
“Humph.” Travis glanced away. “So to what do I owe this displeasure? Are you here looking for
my
son?”
Colin’s smile flatlined. “I was hoping that he’d be here.”
“Well, you just missed him. So you can leave now.”
He wanted to leave. Hell, he wanted to run. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you, too.” When Travis didn’t respond, Colin’s brows dipped in confusion. “I have to admit, I’m surprised you’re not hollering and screaming at me.”
Travis’s cold stare shifted back to him. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Is that why you came here, hoping that I’d have another attack?”
“No. I came to try to set things right between us.”
“You’re a little late, aren’t you?”
“Yes, but better late than never.”
“Is that up for debate?” Travis expelled a long, frustrated sigh. “Smokey, I’m really not up for this. I’m old and I’m tired—too tired to be angry anymore.”
Colin slid his hands into his pockets and moved closer. “I only need a few minutes of your time.”
Travis groaned.
“Just five minutes, then I’ll leave.” When Colin’s
gaze met his old friend’s, he feared he would be turned away, so he added, “Please.”
“Five minutes, then I want you out of here.”
Now that he had the time, his apology jumbled in his head. “Believe it or not, I don’t know where to begin.”
“How about starting with why,” Travis suggested. “Actually, it’s the only thing I really want to know.”
“You know why. You remember what it was like just to be around Val…her smile, her laughter. She had a way of getting into your blood.”
Travis grunted. “Those were the reasons that I married her. Little did I know that I had to keep my eye on my best friend.” His hands clenched. “Damn it. You were my best friend. I trusted you. I trusted Val. Then you kept me from my son. He believes that I deserted him. In all those years, he only received one letter and it was when he was in college.”
“I had no right to keep your letters from him.” Colin’s heart pounded in his ears. “What did you tell him?”
Travis laughed. “Afraid that I ratted you out?” He shook his head. “At last we discover the real reason you came. Well, you can rest easy. Your secret is safe with me.”
Colin’s mouth fell open in shock.
“Don’t look so surprised. It’s obvious to me the boy’s crazy about you. I don’t see any reason to upset him any further than he already is.”
“You’re referring to him and Cartel’s breakup?”
Travis leaned back against his pillows. “I had no idea that there was something between them. I was just so damn angry when I saw her that I let my anger get the best of me. The next thing I knew…” He closed his eyes. “She loves him. It was written all over her face.”
Colin nodded. “We need to figure out some way to get those two together again.”
“We?”
“Look. I’m not asking that we try to be friends again. But neither of us wants to hurt Nathan. And I can tell you that I’ve never seen him as happy as he was with Carissa.”
“Carissa.” Travis laughed. “I never dreamed of calling Cartel by her first name, let alone that I’d be sitting here trying to figure out a way to get her into the family—dysfunctional as it may be.”
“After I leave here, I’m going over to talk to him. You may not think that it’s necessary to bring up the past, but I have to come clean with Nathan for what I’ve done. I’m praying he’ll forgive me, and if he can forgive you and me, surely he can forgive the love of his life.”
“Doesn’t sound like much of a plan. While you’re out committing suicide, I’ll be here coming up with plan B.”
Nathan turned his back to Smokey and braced his hands against the wall as every muscle in his body tensed. “How could you have done this to me? How
could you have remained silent about what really happened?”
“I’m not proud of what I’ve done. But I’m trying to fix this mess I’ve caused. I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.” Smokey’s voice trembled as he spoke.
Nathan closed his eyes against another wave of pain, pain that was caused by a lifetime of betrayal and deceit. “You’re asking a lot from me,” he whispered.
“I know. I’m not sure if I would forgive me either if I were you.”
Nathan turned and faced him. “How am I supposed to trust you—hell, trust anyone again? Everyone I have ever allowed to get close to me has betrayed me.”
Smokey’s gaze fell, but not before Nathan saw the raw pain that reflected in them.
“Are you saying that you are able to forgive Travis but not me?”
The question packed one hell of a punch and made Nathan erupt with guilt. “Damn.” How was it that he was the one that felt guilty now? He wasn’t the one who’d lied for nearly thirty years. “Why are you telling me all this now? Were you afraid that Travis would rat you out?”
Smokey rammed his hands into his pockets while his lowered gaze condemned him.
“I don’t believe this,” Nathan said, shaking his head. “It’s like I’m living a nightmare. In one hour you’ve told me that my father walked out on me and my mother because he caught you two in an affair.
Then you tell me that he’d actually written to me several times when I was growing up, but you never said a word, and to top if off, you seized an opportunity to take over the man’s company by convincing your employer to do a hostile takeover. Not to mention this is the same infamous employer who you knew I’ve been looking for for the past month and was actually the woman I was falling in love with. Did I leave anything out?”
“No,” Smokey said as his shoulders sagged. “I know that I’ve made a mess of everything. God knows your mother reminded me of that every time she took a drink.”
“Don’t you
dare
pin this on my mother. By your own confession, you said that you took advantage of her loneliness. What went through your mind when you decided to betray your best friend? Isn’t that what you guys were before all of this? Did it ever occur to you that she died of a broken heart?” Nathan said, defending his mother. “Do you realize that you single-handedly destroyed my family?”
Smokey stepped forward as his eyes glossed with tears, but before he could speak, Nathan stepped back.
They stared at each other through a painful silence, seemingly trapped in a stalemate.
“You have to know that I never meant to hurt you.”
“But you did.”
“And I’m sorry for it. I’m sorry for a lot of things. I wish like hell that I could turn back the hands of time. I would do so many things differently.”
Nathan snorted in disgust and turned away. He walked into the kitchen and got himself a beer, then waited until he took a long swig before he said anything. “So what do you want from me? You want me to say it’s okay—it’s in the past? Or maybe I should say that I never want to see you again. You might not have heard, but I’m in the process of simplifying my life. This year alone I’ve gotten rid of two fiancées.”
“Two?”
This time, Nathan’s gaze fell. He took another swig of beer. “Can you believe it? I’d actually believed that I’d found my soul mate—a woman I’d looked forward to waking up next to for the rest of my life. She was someone who understood and had experienced the same kind of pain. She was also a woman I was just happy as hell to be around.” His voice dipped and he struggled to control his mounting despair.
“None of that has changed,” Smokey pointed out. “She’s still the same woman you fell in love with. I mean, given the circumstances, I can see why she’d keep her identity from you.”
“Now why doesn’t that surprise me?”
“Okay.” Smokey took the blow with an uplifted chin. “I deserved that. But when you’re through casting judgment on us mere mortals, your highness, you just might wake up in time to go catch your soul mate before it’s too late.” Smokey turned and headed toward the door.
“What the hell does that mean?” Nathan shouted out to him.
“Just what I said. Cartel may be my employer, and maybe I’ve never gotten the chance to know her on the level you have. But I know enough to know that in the short time that you two have known each other, you were the happiest you have ever been. And since you broke up with her, it’s been the worst I’ve ever seen you. That has to tell you something.”
For the first time that night, Nathan’s hard features softened.
“I can understand if you never want to speak to me again. I admittedly deserve your anger. But I’m not so sure that Cartel does.”
“Stop calling her by her last name,” Nathan mumbled irritably.
“Okay. I don’t think that Carissa deserves your anger. Have you really thought about how you would have reacted if she’d told you her real name? Didn’t you say that when you first met her you were rude?”
You must be my father’s latest conquest.
Nathan cringed as his first words floated back into his consciousness.
“How was she supposed to tell you that she felt responsible for Travis’s heart attack? And if your father had died, her guilt would have destroyed her. Didn’t you tell me that she already feels responsible for her own father’s death?”
Nathan nodded as he digested everything.
“You know, if I were her,” Smokey went on, “I’d try to avoid you. But wait a minute, she tried that, didn’t she?”
Nathan’s frown deepened. She had refused to have dinner with him, then stopped coming to the hospital. He was the one who had pursued her, refusing to take no for an answer. He looked to his stepfather. “Did she send you over here to present her case?”
“Now you don’t really believe that, do you?”
He shook his head and set his beer down on the counter. Everything Smokey had said made perfect sense. “You know there were a few times I remember her trying to tell me something, but I always told her she could tell me later. I just never dreamed that she was simply trying to tell me her name.”
“But what about all the stuff that she did do? What happened to all those things that had you walking on cloud nine and had you willing to jump into the relationship with blinders on?”
Nathan clamped his mouth shut.
“Didn’t she help you bury the past and had even preached about second chances with Travis? That hardly sounds like a crime to me. Hell, when all this is over I hope to enlist her help to get you to forgive me, because despite what you may think, I’m truly sorry…for everything. I love you, son.” Smokey opened the front door.
“Pop?”
Smokey stopped, his heart swelling with hope. He turned to face his son.
There were tears in Nathan’s eyes as the corners of his mouth lifted. “I don’t want you to go.”