Love's Deception (8 page)

“L
et me explain,” Carissa began, but she couldn’t think of a single lie to bail her out. “I told the hospital I was engaged to your father because it was the only way they would let me see him.”

Nathan released her hand. “So you lied?”

Her brows rose at the undeniable anger laced in his voice. “I lied to the
hospital
about my relationship. I have to admit I was a little concerned when none of his family members had shown up,” she added defensively. It was partly true, she reasoned with herself.

Contrite, he nodded. “I guess I can understand that.”

“You guess?” she repeated. Her sudden anger surprised her. All thoughts of finishing her confession
flew out the window. “You know, Mr. Edwards. I changed my mind. I think this was a mistake. I have no intentions of sitting here while you cast judgment—”

“Judgment?” he thundered incredulously. Then, as if he realized what he’d done, he lowered his voice. “Is that what you think I’m doing?”

“Well, aren’t you?”

“Excuse me, ma’am?” the waiter interrupted. “This was left for you.” He handed her a folded note.

Jaws clenched, she accepted the note. She gazed over the words, then shook her head in disbelief. “I’m going to kill her.”

“Let me guess.” Nathan leaned back with a knowing smile. “She took off.”

“You have to excuse my aunt. She loves practical jokes.”

“Or perhaps playing matchmaker?”

“I’ll take a cab,” Carissa declared, then waved for the waiter. “Check, please.”

“Nonsense. I’ll take you home.”

“What—so we can continue arguing in the car?”

“How about if we called a truce,” he offered. But for some odd reason he enjoyed arguing with her. He liked when her face flushed and her eyes lit up. He had a feeling the woman had engaged and won quite a few battles in her lifetime.

“I was expecting something more like an apology.” She crossed her arms and patiently drummed her fingers.

Oh, yes, he thought, the woman knew how to get what she wanted. And lucky for her, he was in the mood to accommodate her. “You have my sincerest apologies, Ms. Carnes.”

She looked away.

“It wasn’t my intention to sound like I was in any way judging you.” When she visibly relaxed, he went on to explain. “I just left a relationship where…” He waved the speech off. “It’s not important.”

She remained quiet, not sure of what to say. When the check arrived, she reached for her purse.

“Don’t even think about it.” Nathan retrieved his wallet. “No woman pays for a meal around me.”

“Sounds chauvinistic.”

“I thought I was being romantic.”

Their gazes deepened with their light banter. However, Carissa was never one to remain speechless for long. “A girl could get the impression that you’re on the rebound.”

“Hardly.” He turned serious again. “I’ve had time to get over it.”

“That bad?”

“Worse.” He gripped his drink. “In retrospect, I guess I should have seen it coming.”

Her keen gaze caught the flicker of pain that crossed his features as he lifted the glass. She was sorry she had brought up the subject.

“Honesty is one of the most important ingredients in a relationship,” he said thoughtfully. “That and communication. India and I had neither.”

Pretty name, she thought.

Nathan laughed and shook his head. “I’m doing it again.”

“Doing what?”

“Treating you like you’re my shrink or something. Of course, this would never happen if you weren’t such a good listener.”

This time she laughed. “It’s okay. Believe it or not, I rather enjoy our little talks.”

“You’re an interesting woman, Ms. Carnes. I’ll give you that.”

She shrugged. “I’ve been called worse.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

Playfully her eyes narrowed, unable to tell whether he was joking. “Well, don’t. I’ve been told plenty of times I’ve inherited my father’s temper as well as his nose for business.”

“Ah, an ill-tempered fashion model. Now that’s something you don’t hear about every day.”

“Ha. I’m no model.”

He frowned. “But your aunt said—”

“She was referring to when I was three years old.” Carissa shook her head. “I did a few print ads and that’s about it.”

“I bet you were a beautiful baby.”

Carissa’s body grew warm. “Do you always say the right thing at the right time?”

“No. I think I’m just on a roll.” He puffed out his chest, then grinned at her sudden burst of laughter.
She’s wonderful
, he thought. He wanted to talk to her
for hours again, listen to her thoughts about everything that kept him lying awake at night.

“Have you decided how long you’re staying in town?” she asked, averting her gaze.

He shrugged. “I keep changing my mind every ten minutes. I know I should stay. Especially now since I’m starting to suspect foul play.”

Her heart dropped. “Foul play? What do you mean?”

“I can’t put my finger on it.” He shrugged, then met her gaze again. “How did
you
find out what happened?”

Think. Think
. “I, uh, received a call.”

“Was it from a Ms. Townsend?”

She swallowed, then forced her best poker face. “I believe so. Why?”

“She contacted me, too. Today, I decided to find out a little more about what led up to his heart attack. So I gave her a call, then went by to see her.”

“What did she say?” she asked cautiously.

“It’s not what she said that’s bothering me.”

“No?”

“It’s what she wouldn’t say. I got the impression she was hiding something.”

Carissa didn’t dare say anything.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged out of his reverie. “Maybe I’m imagining things.”

“I need another drink. Waiter.”

Nathan frowned. “Is there something wrong?”

“No. I’m just thirsty.” She placed her order and the waited adjusted their check before strolling off.

“I get the impression that if we were to have a contest you could drink me under the table.”

“You’re damn right.”

He laughed. “I guess there’s an upside to this. At this rate, I’ll have to peel you off me by the end of the night.”

“You’re daydreaming again.”

“Am I?” His brows wiggled back at her. “Now that I know you’re available the rules have changed.”

Another rush of heat swept over her. There was no mistaking his meaning. “Just because I’m not engaged to your father doesn’t mean that I’m available.”

“Good point. Are you involved with anyone?”

“That’s none of your business.”

He studied her. “Then I’m going to pretend that you’re not. Maybe even pretend that we’re actually on our first date.”

Smiling, she shook her head. “Do you always just go after what you want?”

“Relentlessly.”

“That’s another thing we have in common.” Her expression sobered when their eyes met again. “But the reality is that we’ve known each other only two days—two very unusual days. It’s hardly the makings of a relationship.”

He nodded as if he were processing this information. “Well, how about a night of unbridled passion?”

“What?” Her eyes widened.

Nathan’s serious mask crumbled as his shoulders shook with mirth. “Relax. I was just joking.”

She relaxed.

“I can wait another two days.”

When her eyes narrowed, his amusement deepened.

“You may find this hard to believe, Mr. Edwards, but I’m not attracted to you,” she lied.

Nathan covered his heart with his hands. “Ouch. You really know how to hurt a man.”

She finally laughed. “You’re something else.”

“I’ve been told that before.”

“No doubt from your ex.” She clamped her jaws shut, regretting her quick retort.

“Ah. Is that jealousy I hear?”

“No.”

He studied her again, unable to break her perfect poker face. “You’re a tough one to figure out.”

“You’re right. And I aim to stay that way.”

Much later, the couple’s conversation returned to more serious matters. But this time, it was Carissa’s turn on the psychiatrist’s couch.

“So you never went to see him before he died?” Nathan asked, sullen.

She nearly choked on her answer. “No.”

“If you had to do it all over again?”

“In a heartbeat.” She chewed her bottom lip. “I’m not happy at all about how things have turned out.” Her voice trailed off.

“I’m sorry.” He enclosed her hands in his and caressed the tips of her fingers. She was struck by how small hers seemed.

“It’s okay. I have no one to blame but myself. After his death, I was consumed with the need to make him proud of me. All my accomplishments have left me hollow because I don’t like what I’ve become.”

“What is it that you do?”

Ruin people’s lives
. “I just help run a small family business,” she whispered.

He squeezed her hand. “The way you were talking I was beginning to think that you worked for the mob.”

She smiled. “No. It’s nothing that drastic.” She looked down at their hands. “But you need to know that guilt is a very powerful thing. That’s why I say if there’s any way for you to make peace with your father, grab hold of it with both hands and don’t you dare let go.”

Carissa’s words echoed in Nathan’s head as he drove her home. He was already experiencing the power of his guilty conscience. Shortly after he’d graduated from college, he’d received a letter from Travis saying how much he wanted to see him again. But Nathan had been astonished by the man’s audacity. He remembered laughing while he tore up the letter, then remembered later nursing his guilt over a bottle of tequila.

“Take a right at the corner,” Carissa instructed from the passenger seat of his rented Bronco.

“It’s this building right here.”

Nathan looked up at the luxury high-rise. “You live here?”

She looked flustered. “Yeah. It’s really not as expensive as it looks.” She shrugged.

Was she kidding? He knew exactly how much it cost to live in this area of town. “Are you sure you don’t work for the mob?”

She laughed. “I really appreciate your bringing me home. After I wring my aunt’s neck, I’m sure it will never happen again.”

He parked inside the garage.

“You know it’s not necessary for you to walk me to the door.”

“Nonsense. I wouldn’t be a gentleman if I didn’t escort you safely home.”

She started to protest again, but the look on his face told her she was wasting her breath.

When they stepped from the elevator, Nathan was immediately impressed by the subtle elegance that greeted him. He glanced down at his simple black jeans and snug cotton turtleneck and felt underdressed. “Nice place.”

“Thank you,” she said uneasily. She thought the walk to her suite seemed unbelievably long. When her front door came into view, she exhaled. “Here we are.” She tested the knob and was relieved her aunt hadn’t locked her out.

“Then I guess this is good night?”

“It looks that way.” She glanced at her watch. “I’d invite you in for a nightcap, but it’s pretty late.”

He looked at the time. “Three o’clock. I’m sorry I kept you past curfew, but I really enjoyed your company. You gave me a lot to think about.”

“I hope I was able to help.”

“You were.”

They fell silent. Neither knew how to end the evening.

“Good night, Risa.” He leaned forward and tipped her chin up with his fingers and placed a tender kiss against her lips.

A sweet sensation pooled within her body, making it impossible for her to hold on to a clear thought. When he pulled away, her quick intake of air burned her lungs. “Good night,” she managed to whisper.

He smiled, then turned and walked away.

Carissa watched him as he moved down the hallway and knew that she had just made a horrible mistake. Turning, she entered her penthouse, then slumped behind the closed door. She was playing with fire and she had no idea how she was going to put out the flames Nathan Edwards had ignited.

N
athan didn’t drive home. Despite the late hour, he returned to Northside Hospital. Carissa had given him a lot to think about. Maybe the past was exactly where it needed to be, in the past.
Easier said than done
, he thought.

The sorrow that seemed to possess her when she spoke of her father troubled him. Hell, he felt downright sorry for her. Yet it was a path he was in danger of following. He knew what he needed to do, but it still wasn’t easy.

As he traveled through the empty hallways, he tried to figure out a way to bury years of heartache. And he wondered if he was capable of forgiving. He’d
always viewed things as black and white. There was no such thing as a gray area. It was probably why he was so hard on people, including India.

When he arrived in the ICU, Nurse Anne greeted him with a smile. In their brief conversation, he learned that there was no change in his father’s condition. Dr. Peterson warned him that there was a possibility of his father remaining in a coma for years. Nathan prayed that wasn’t how this Shakespearean tragedy would end.

Moments later, he sat beside Travis’s bed, staring at his still form. Had his father thought of him often over the past thirty years? Had he regretted his decision to walk out on him? Nathan hoped so.

Guilt can be a very powerful thing
. Carissa’s voice floated through his head. He exhaled and leaned forward to take Travis’s hand. It was still cold.

“This isn’t easy for me,” he said above the lump in the center of his throat. “I want you to wake up. I know there’s nothing, yet everything, between us. But I don’t want to go through life with any more regrets. I can only hope that you feel the same way.”

Tears slid from Nathan’s eyes with his heartfelt confession. “It took a friend of yours to help me figure all this out. And I’m very grateful to her.” He smiled. “Who knows—maybe one day I’ll learn what happened when you returned from Vietnam.”

Travis’s eyes moved behind his closed lids while his mind drifted back in time…

Chicago, May 18, 1972

Travis glanced at his watch and exhaled in frustration. Maybe Val had gotten lost, he reasoned. In the back of his mind, he doubted it. For some time, he couldn’t shake this sense of impending doom. He didn’t know where this feeling came from—all he knew was that it grew stronger by the minute.

In his duffel bag, he carried every letter, picture and gift she had sent during the war. They were items he would always treasure. But right now, he was anxious to see his family, to compare his memory with the real thing.

Travis turned to the sound of an approaching car, then shielded his eyes from the glaring sun. Once again, he was disappointed with the make and model.

He looked at his watch again, his anxiety slowly turning into fear.

“Hey, buddy. Are you just going to stand there all day or are you going to get in?”

Travis’s head jerked up at the familiar voice and an instant grin covered his face. “Smokey! I’ll be damned. What the hell are you doing here?” He grabbed his belongings and headed to the car.

“Doing you a favor. If you didn’t buy Val that jalopy, she would have been here to pick you up.”

Relief swelled in Travis’s chest as he jerked the door open and tossed his things into the backseat. “If you think that this junker of yours is more reliable,
then you need to get your head examined.” He climbed into the passenger seat.

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Great. Now let’s see if we can make it back.”

The men slapped each other’s backs and laughed. During the drive home, Travis gazed out the window, admiring his hometown and the welcoming landscape. “I miss this place,” he whispered.

Smokey chuckled. “Spoken like a man coming back from a war. I’d imagine anything would look good to you right now.”

“You don’t know how right you are, my friend,” Travis agreed. “But I have to admit, I’ve learned a lot about myself—about the world.”

“I wouldn’t doubt it. Especially after all you’ve been through.” Smokey glanced in his direction. “Val told me you took one in the gut a while back.”

“Man, I took a lot of things. I’ve got scars in places I’d be ashamed to show my own mother.”

“Then definitely don’t show me. I’ll just take your word for it.”

“Deal.”

For a while, the men rode in silence before Smokey added, “I’m glad you’ve made it back.”

Travis turned and met his direct gaze. “Thanks. That’s good to hear.”

A few minutes later, Smokey passed his neighborhood. “Where are we going?”

“To your apartment.”

“Apartment? What happened to the house?”

Their astonished gazes locked.

“She didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“With all due respect, buddy, I think I need to let her tell you.”

That nagging feeling returned, and this time Travis knew better than to shrug it off.

The apartment was small—too small. Travis forced a brave face. Maybe Val fell on hard times and had to sell the house. Yet he wondered why she hadn’t mentioned it in her letters. None of that mattered, he told himself. He was back home and would fix everything.

The moment he opened the door, six-year-old Nathan sprinted toward him. “Daddy, Daddy.”

Travis dropped his bags and swept his son high into the air. “Hey! Did ya miss me?”

“Yeah!” Nathan laughed as his father spun him around in a circle.

“Welcome home.” Val’s soft voice somehow penetrated the father and son reunion. All eyes turned toward her.

Travis drew in a sharp breath. “My God.”

“Mommy, you look pretty,” Nathan exclaimed when his father lowered him to the floor.

She stood in the entranceway with her tightly coiled hair in a neat Afro. Her clear chestnut complexion glowed, and when she smiled, the room lit up.

He moved toward her, his gaze soaking in every detail. “It’s been a long time,” he whispered.

“Too long.” She rushed into his open arms, their lips instantly locking in an inferno of passion.

“I guess you two would like to be alone.”

The couple separated as Travis turned, laughing at his best friend. “I’d forgotten you were still here.”

“I see you weren’t the only one.” Smokey’s gaze landed on Val briefly, then he held his arms out to Nathan. “Come and tell your uncle Smokey goodbye.”

Nathan happily did as he was instructed. “Aren’t you going to stay for dinner tonight?”

“Nah, not tonight. I’ll try and stop by and see ya tomorrow.”

Travis, with his arm looped around his wife, walked over to his best friend. “Thanks, man. I really appreciate your coming to pick me up.” He tightened his embrace. “And I want to thank you for looking after my little family. It looks like you did a terrific job.” He held out his free hand.

Smokey’s smile suddenly appeared tight and forced, Travis noted fleetingly as his friend accepted his hand in a tight handshake.

“It was my pleasure.”

An awkward silence encircled the small group before Smokey spoke again. “I’ll catch you guys later.” He put Nathan down and left the apartment, the door slamming slightly behind him.

Puzzled, Travis stood looking at the door. “Did I miss something?”

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Val reassured him. She reached up and gently turned his face toward her. “Are you hungry? I made your favorite dish.”

He smiled. “I’m hungry, but trust me, it isn’t for food.”

“Behave. Don’t forget your son is still in the room,” she whispered. “But I think I can help you satisfy your hunger a little later.”

Days later, Travis returned home from the bank, disgusted that he had been unable to get a loan. As it had turned out, Val had lost her job nearly a year ago when the county had rezoned their old area and a few schools were closed. Since that time, she and Nathan had been surviving off welfare.

The army had already informed him that there would be a delay in his receiving his disability pay. But what bothered him most was the five-thousand-dollar loan Val accepted from Smokey. He didn’t know why the transaction bothered him. He’d been friends with Smokey since grade school. He should have been grateful that Smokey had helped his family. But he wasn’t.

When he closed the front door, his hackles stood at attention. His ears perked up at the explosive argument coming from the kitchen.

“What do you expect me to do?” Smokey barked. “I can’t sit by and watch you with him. It’s killing me. I thought that I could let you go because I love you and Nathan. I love Travis. We’re like brothers.”

Val muffled her sobs when her hands covered her face. “Don’t do this to us, Smokey. I’ve told you that I love my husband. What happened between us…”

Her sentence trailed off when she removed her hands and saw Travis standing just inches behind Smokey. “Oh, my God.”

Startled, Smokey jerked around. “Travis.”