Madness or Purpose (5 page)

Zoe takes slow calculated steps towards me. I never drop my gaze or move a muscle. When she reaches me Relic is in tow and giving me the eye. That dog has never looked at me suspiciously a day in her life. She must be tuned into Zoe’s emotions somehow. Zoe sits next to me and takes both of my hands in hers. My eyes close by some outside power and I can feel my hands begin to warm. My fingers begin to tingle and the sensation travels up my arms to my head. I can feel her trying to see inside. I lower my defenses and she begins to examine my thoughts and intentions. I have never experienced this before. I have only ever heard of it. She is sharing my consciousness and feeling my emotions. She gasps and clenches my hands like a vice. She begins to speak but I am not hearing it with my ears.
“Gavin I’m scared. I know so much and yet nothing.

I can tell you mean me no harm and all your intentions are honorable. I want to be angry with you, but I can see and feel the things you do. You have to tell me what I am and who I am. You have to help me. Please.”
I am gasping for air at this point she seems to be stealing all the air from my lungs. I don’t know how this works so I just concentrate on my feelings and thoughts.
“I won’t hurt you. I will help you. Please let go of me I can’t breathe Zoe. I am going to pass out.”
Her hands immediately drop mine and the air almost burns my lungs as I am finally able to fill them.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “Ok, this may take a while, would you like some coffee? You can ask me anything you want. If I know the answer I will tell you. If I don’t I can help you find out, deal?” I offer. “Yes to the coffee and ok to all the other stuff.” Zoe says furrowing her brow. She follows me to the kitchen as I get the coffee pot ready. With a curt nod she dismisses the dog in a manner I have never seen before and Relic goes to her kennel. Something has changed in that dog, I’m sure of it now. I reach for two cups as the coffee brews and retrieve the creamer and sugar. I drink mine black but Zoe always needs a little bit of something to take the bitter edge off. I pour the coffee into our mugs and put the sugar and cream away as she finishes with them.

I walk back to the futon and she follows quietly behind me.

As soon as I am seated she begins, “how long did you know?” “I have suspected since the day that I met you because I can see your aura. It has gotten much brighter over time. I used to be the only one who could see it.” “Is your aura the gold light that surrounds you?” “Yes,” I answer. “It matches your eyes. What color is mine?” “Zoe, yours is two colors. It is sapphire blue and silver. Like your eyes. Well, actually your eyes are solid sapphire at the moment and I am not sure why.” “Am I different from others like you? Am I the only one with two colors and solid eyes?”She questioned. “You are the only individual that I have met with your type of aura. I do not believe your eyes are permanent though. Can you see ok?”

I ask. “I am asking the questions Gavin but, no things are sort of hazy.

Sometimes I see nothing and my head is killing me. Those pills do not help.

What are those marks on your arms? Are they the only ones you have?” “I am sorry the pills don’t work. From what I have learned your eyes should settle, unfortunately I do not know when. My marks are unique to me and yes they are the only ones I have but really they are one mark. Would you like me to show you it in its entirety?” I ask her. “I am getting tired. The pain is horrible.

Yes I would like to see it. Do I have one? Or will I have one?” Her eye brows pinch together and she clamps her eyes shut in pain. It hurts to know I can’t do anything for her.

I slowly unbutton my shirt and shrug it off my shoulders. I toss it on a nearby chair and she stares intently at me. She takes a long sip of her coffee and then places the cup down on the table. My mark extends from the tip of one middle finger wraps around my hand, wrist, and arm then goes across my shoulders and chest and back down the other side to my other middle finger tip. Zoe lifts her hand and traces some of the design with her finger tips. I whisper “you have one, but I haven’t seen it yet. It is hidden from my sight. I don’t even know where it would be.” Zoe frowns and then her eyes meet mine. “Why couldn’t I see all this before?” Pain seems to cross her confused expression. “Zoe, I had to hide my eyes, and mark from people who aren’t like us and from you until you knew or you would not have, well you would have thought I was a freak.” I hang my head.

“I don’t know how you can now read my thoughts though.”

Her delicate finger touches my chin and tilts my head up to meet her gaze. “You are not a freak Gav. You are my guardian and my friend. You did what you had to do. It frustrates me and I don’t know that I truly understand, but I can see the pain it causes you.”

Her shoulders slump and she lets out a shaky breath. I take her chin in my hand gently and lift it up so her solid jewel eyes look into mine. “Please let me check your stitches and then you can lie down.” She nods so I turn her shoulder so it faces me. I unwind the wrap covering the bandage and then peel back the medical tape. We both gasp! Her stitches have disappeared and her skin is completely healed. In its place is a faint outline similar to the amulet she wears around her neck. I quickly spin her to the other side and lift up her shirt sleeve. In the exact same place on her other shoulder is an identical faint outline. Zoe looks up at me, but without being able to see her iris and pupil I have trouble telling what she is feeling. She touches my hand and I hear her.
“This is cool and freaky!”
She exclaims.
“This is weird and natural feeling all at the same time.”
I tell her. She hugs me and all of a sudden I can feel everything she feels. I am hit with a wave of searing pain and extreme excitement and then some type of burning I can only equate to deep longing something more intense than even lust.

I push her away and shake my head. She looks hurt so I speak up. “Zoe, do you realize when you do that I can feel everything you feel. I mean absolutely everything?” Her face begins to flush and she turns her head away from me. I reach out and take her hand again trying to reach her through her mind
. “It’s ok ZZ it really is. It’s just a lot to handle all at once. Look inside me you are not alone.”
I can feel her searching and then I feel her relax.
“This is a lot for me to handle as well. I am happy though.”
Smiling I gently take her in my arms and hug her.

I set her down and take her hand. I grab two blankets and I lead her to her room. It has a bigger bed and after a day like today I need to be able to stretch all the way out. I wrap her in her own blanket and lie her down. I crawl in behind her and use the extra blanket for me. I can tell she doesn’t want to be alone, but I can’t touch her like that again or she just might kill me. I let her take my hand and she concentrates hard on good memories and childhood pastimes. She drifts off quickly and when her grip loosens I slide my hand out.

I lay there starring at the wall. I really have no idea what to do next and I have a feeling she has more questions than I have knowledge. I just hope she doesn’t ask me who murdered her father. I don’t really know and I am not sure either of us is ready to delve into the darker parts of our kind just yet. Exhaustion begins to take me and I slip my hand back into hers. I like how close it makes me feel to her.

It’s a connection I am beginning to become addicted to. A small shock makes my fingers tingle and she sighs in her sleep. She pulls me into her relaxed state and it’s as if I am seeing our life through her eyes.

I can see she has been suspicious for a long time. She has noticed some oddities about me and she has even gotten glimpses of my thoughts before, she just thought she was crazy. Zoe remembers both occasions this evening. She remembers kissing me and is embarrassed. Then her thoughts switch into the possible, the future.

Zoe sees herself happy, with me and with others like us. She sees dark things too, things I can’t even describe. I hear her whimper aloud and through the connections I say
“Zoe, it is ok. I’ll keep you safe. Don’t worry.”
Her thoughts quickly change direction at the entrance of my thoughts in her mind. She replays every touch, every smile I ever gave her, and finally when she kissed me.
“Was it ok for me to do so?”
She questions me. I am unsure if she is away or if she is asking this from her subconscious. I am putting up walls all around my mind trying to figure out what to say. I would do so much more if she only understood what it was like to find the other half of her soul. I mean if she is mine than I am hers, but she still does not completely understand what and who she is and she doesn’t seem to experience the world as I do yet.

I let my walls back down.

She is waiting, I can feel her.
“Yes, I wouldn’t have encouraged you if it wasn’t.” “Why did you put up walls? Are you lying to me?”
She questions me.

“Of course I am not lying. This is just new. I needed a moment.”
Without giving her even a second to respond I turn her around to face me and crush my lips to hers. A jolt of electricity shoots through me but she does not resist me. I feel her hands in my hair and I pull her blanket wrapped body towards mine. Zoe quietly moans against my lips and her fears flash in my mind because she has direct hand contact with my head. I reach up and pull her hands out of my hair open my eyes. She is staring at me with terrified eyes. Her pupils return and her irises are one silver and one sapphire. Out loud I say, “your eyes are back to normal.” She nods. “ZZ this,” I gently kiss her lips “is all I want right now.” Her eyes seem to relax and she responds by lightly touching her lips to mine and then snuggling into my chest.

I only sleep for a few hours, but I am plagued by dark thoughts and fears. I gently untangle her limbs from around my torso and move to her closet. I push her clothes aside and in the dim light from the street lights outside I can see it.

An Incomplete Lifetime of Knowledge

The light from the street barely illuminates the closet, but it’s just enough for my night sight to detect the edge of the hidden panel. Zoe doesn’t know I have this hiding spot.

It’s really not to hide anything from her; it’s more to keep it all safe until the right moment. I reach into my pocket and retrieve my knife. The edge of it is just thin and strong enough to pry the panel free and expose the combination lock. Now, what was that number again? Oh right, now I remember. The date we met, 3-31-7. Well, it’s a version of the date, but close enough. I won’t ever forget it.

Even back then her hair was like silky black ink. Her father had helped her pull it into a messy ponytail high on top of her head. Pink ear muffs covered her ears and she wore a bright blue fluffy coat with matching mittens. It was somewhat of a rare day for the end of March. Brilliant white snow covered the whole city, and school had been canceled. We could easily see our breath but it wasn’t cold enough to keep us from sledding. My parents had brought us to our favorite hill and it was full of sledding families. Through all the people I could pick her out.

First it was a glint of silver and blue that caught my eye, and then it was the quiet giggle of joy when her father set her on his lap and they slid down the hill for the first time. I jumped onto my sled and rocketed over a snow ramp and hit the bottom of the hill seconds later. My parents were used to me racing off and thought nothing of it. As I got to the bottom I began to look for her.

I was nine and shorter than most of the people around, but they were people, well mostly, so it should be easy to find her vibrant aura in the crowd of dim colors. I couldn’t see her anywhere, but then I heard her. Faintly, but she was here. I decided I might have been too slow and maybe she was on her trek back up to the top

Standing in the snow and bright daylight it hit me. It was like the scent of lavender and chamomile.

It may not seem so odd to you or even most of the people surrounding me, but I knew I was the only one who could smell it. It wasn’t a perfume; it was more like what people call a pheromone. It’s a message, a signature only meant for one thing, to lead one half of a soul to the other. Humans are born with a whole soul or being if you will. Most of our kind is as well; however, some of us are created as only half of a greater whole. Until we meet the other half we may not even realize we are missing something essential to our existence but when we do it’s like being smacked in the face with a lead pillow. We see stars and then the pain of understanding we are not whole kicks in. We crave the other like one might crave oxygen when drowning. Ok that might be a bit dramatic, but there are moments that feel like that.

I ran as fast as my little legs could carry me towards the sweet scent and kept looking for the mix of silver and sapphire blue. I was panting when I plowed full force through a gap in the mass of people heading back to the top when I ran right into her and we both fell backwards and tumbled down the snow packed hill head over heels. When we came to a stop she was straddling me sobbing so much I am sure her eyes were blurry and snot was running down her face. The first moment I saw her eyes I was shocked. I had never seen such beauty and power in one place. I did not understand what was going on and she was completely freaked out. I wiped her face with my gloves and whispered “I’m sorry. My name is Gavin. Did I hurt you?” She looked terrified and mumbled “I am fine you stupid boy. Stop staring at me!” “I’m not staring; you are on top of me. Should I close my eyes?” Glaring at me she nodded her head. I did as she said and she mumbled out her name as well. “I’m Zoe Zeta Jones.” “That’s a mouth full; I think I’ll just call you ZZ.” Right about then both her father and my parents stood over us and in unison inquired about our bumps and bruises.

Zoe’s father chatted with my parents and she half hid behind her father and glared at me. When she got angry her multicolored aura flashed and flickered like a strobe light. If I hadn’t been so excited her dagger like glares might have offended me. Now that I was closer I could tell her aura wasn’t as bright as I first thought, and to be honest no one else like me seemed to notice. There is a gesture with the eyes each of my kind gives to another and no one around us greeted her in such a manner. It’s a flash of the eyes that is like micro seconds long and only we can see it. The others behaved as if she was just like every other human. I made sure to mention it to Dean later on and that is one of the things that lead us to figuring out about her mother.