Man From Mundania (12 page)

some better rationale for what occurred."

Ivy remembered that Dolph had mentioned the convo-

luted way that Turn Key expressed himself. She put up

with it. "Anyway, I have to get back to Xanth so we can

try again, and I promised to show Grey what Xanth is

like. You see, he doesn't believe in magic."

"You told a complete Mundane about Xanth?" Turn

asked, appalled.

"It's all right. He doesn't believe it."

"He will if you show it to him!"

"But I have to show him! I don't want him thinking I'm

crazy."

Grey spoke gibberish. In a moment the golem box

translated. "I'm listening to all of this, you know! I'll

concede that you two know a strange language, but you

haven't shown me any magic."

"A skeptic," Turn said. "That's good. If he returns to

his home now, there should be no problem."

"No!" Ivy said sharply. "I want him to see Xanth!"

Turn gazed at her. "Xanth is no place for Mundanes;

you know that. He'd get eaten by the first dragon he en-

countered."

"I'll protect him," Ivy said. "I know my way around

in Xanth. Anyway, I have the magic mirror, so I can get

right in touch with Castle Roogna."

"You intend to take him all the way to Castle Roogna?"

"Of course! So he can meet—"

"Why?"

This brought her up short. "Why?"

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53

"Why would you want a man from Mundania to meet

your folks?"

"Well, if I—he—I mean—" She fumbled to a halt, con-

fused.

"Because you like him?" Turn asked.

"Well—"

"Do you have any idea how your folks might react, if—"

Grey looked perplexed. "What are you two talking

about? Even in translation it sounds like nonsense!"

Ivy found herself beset by a storm of indecision. Turn

had seen right through a notion she had not even known

she had. She knew very well what he was talking about,

and knew he was right. She should send Grey home to his

college right now.

She looked at Grey. He was absolutely nondescript in

appearance and abilities. He was a nice person—but Mun-

dania was not a good place for nice people. He would

have to go back to what he called Freshman English, and

it would slowly grind his life into mud.

"And if you take him in and he becomes a believer, I

will not feel free to let him pass this portal again," Turn

warned. "We can not allow—"

"I know," Ivy said. "Still—"

"You're a princess; you can do as you like," Turn said

gravely. "But you are young and impetuous, and may bring

incalculable mischief to others."

"I know," Ivy repeated almost inaudibly.

Turn shook his head grimly. "I wash my hands of it."

"What's going on?" Grey demanded via translation.

Ivy took a deep breath. "Grey, I—I like you, and you

helped me a lot, and I promised to show you Xanth.

But-"

He assumed a look of understanding. "But of course

you can't, because it doesn't exist. Look, Ivy, why don't

you come back with me, and—"

That did it. "And I will show you Xanth!" she con-

cluded. "Only, once you are in it, you may not be allowed

to leave. So I really have to warn you—"

Grey shook his head tolerantly. "Let's assume for the

sake of argument that Xanth exists and you take me into

54 Man from Mundania

it and I can't return. What is there for me in Mundania,

as you put it?"

"Freshman English," she said with a smile.

"Right. A fate marginally worse than death. So show

me your Xanth; I'll take my chances. Actually, it would

be sort of nice to be in a land like that, where pies grow

on trees and magic works." He grimaced. "There I go

again, getting foolish. The truth is, I just want to be with

you. Ivy; I don't care where you go, as long as I can be

by your side."

He liked her, as she liked him, without doubt. But he

had no notion of what he was asking for, and she was

wrong to bring him into it. Probably she should send him

back to his dull home. But she knew she wasn't going to.

"Send us through. Turn," she said. "Both of us."

Turn nodded, having expected this. "I must warn you

that the route is not direct. You have to proceed through

the gourd—and that is different for each person. The Night

Stallion will know your identity, so you won't be harmed,

but he does not like having solid folk trespass in the gourd,

so he won't help you either. You will have to find your

own way through, and it might turn out to be a significant

challenge."

"I've been in the gourd before," Ivy said.

"But never with a Mundane companion."

She knew that changed the whole picture. But she was

committed. "We'll do it anyway. Just take us to the

gourd."

Turn sighed. "As you wish. Princess."

Chapter 4. Mountain

'rey and Ivy followed the fat man out to the

rear garden. This was a thoroughly fenced exotic jungle

with pleasant byways and even, by the sound of it, a trick-

ling stream in the background. Then they came to a mon-

strous watermelonlike thing, with a stem on one side and

a hole in the other. This was evidently the "gourd" they

had mentioned that was the route to Xanth. He was sure

there wasn't any more inside that gourd than pulp and

seeds.

Ivy faced him and made signs. Inside talk.

There was another translator box in there? Why not!

Hold hand, she continued.

Gladly! He took her hand. Ivy climbed into the hole,

and he climbed in right after her.

Suddenly they were in a cave that seemed larger than

the gourd itself. Oh—the gourd was merely a faked-up

entrance to this new chamber. Clever!

"This is merely an aspect of Xanth," Ivy said. "It is

where I thought I was before."

"You thought you were in a big gourd," he agreed.

Then he realized that the language barrier was gone; they

were talking directly again! No wait for the translation

computer. This was an improvement.

"We don't have to hold hands, now that we're past the

threshold," she continued. "But stay very close to me,

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Man from Mundania

Grey, because the world of the gourd isn't like regular

Xanth. It has funny rules, and it can be pretty scary."

"Scary? Like an amusement park horror house? I'm not

worried."

"The gourd is where the bad dreams are made," she

said. "Then the night mares carry them to each sleeper

who deserves them. Nothing here is really real, but it can

terrify almost anyone."

Not really real. Was she coming to her senses and ad-

mitting that Xanth was just a state of mind? That she

wasn't really a princess in a magical land but just a girl

who liked to dream? "Thanks for the warning," he said.

"Also, it is set for each person who enters it, though

usually that's not physical," she continued. "That's why

I entered first, so that my presence would fix it. You had

to be in physical contact with me at the time; otherwise it

would have put you into a separate dream sequence, and

we might never have gotten together again."

"That would have been bad," he agreed. She seemed

to make so much sense! She had really worked out this

fantasy pretty thoroughly. Of course it was modeled on

the Xanth novels, which she must have read a lot more

carefully then he had. Now he wished he hadn't skimmed

parts.

"Just remember: nothing here is really going to hurt

us, as long as we keep to the proper path and don't spook.

But we may be terrified before we get through."

Grey remembered one scene in Xanth, where a party

had made a harrowing trip along the Lost Path where as-

sorted punnish things abounded, and Prince Dolph had

gotten lost in a modem airport: the innocent Xanth idea

of horror. If this horror-house setting was modeled on

that, he had little to worry about. "I'll keep that in mind."

There was light ahead. They proceeded toward it, and

soon the cave opened out into a breathtaking landscape.

It was a mountain, projecting up from gloomy mists

into the sunlight, its curious outlines showing in starkest

relief. It was stepped vaguely like a pyramid with crude

terraces set off by vertical drops, and abrupt cave entries,

shining crystalline spires, and a flying buttress or two. At

Man from Mundania
        
57

the very top, perched at what seemed a precarious angle,

was a turreted palace or castle, so far and high it looked

tiny. The whole effect was of fairyland beauty and chal-

lenge.

Beside him. Ivy was silent, gazing as raptly as he at the

mountain. Then she came to life. "I had hoped it wouldn't

be this bold, this soon," she murmured.

Grey walked forward to gain a better view of the fas-

cinating structure. Suddenly he stopped. He had almost

banged into a glass barrier! Then he looked again. "Why-

it's a picture!" he exclaimed. "Just a picture of a fancy

mountain! We can't reach it."

"I don't think that's the case," Ivy said. "This is the

gourd, remember, where dreams are real. We shall have