Man From Mundania (32 page)

Then she kissed him a third time. His head heated and

expanded so rapidly it exploded, and bright fragments of

the balloon fluttered down into the forest below to deco-

rate the trees with seeming flowers. Bees buzzed up to

attend to those flowers, and came away with buckets of

nectar. Oh, the sweetness of that kiss!

"Do you accept my apology?" Ivy asked again.

Grey strove valiantly to get his head back together. "Uh,

yes, sure!" he gasped, finally catching on. He wasn't sure

he could survive the next kiss!

"Alert!" Donkey said. "I hear goblins!"

Suddenly Grey was back in focus. "Let's get out of

here!"

"We'd better do it as we did before," Ivy said briskly.

"I'll enhance you, Donkey, and we'll ride you. That way

we'll leave them behind again."

"Certainly," the centaur agreed.

Ivy scrambled into her pack, and they both scrambled

146 Man from Mundania

onto the centaur's back, and the centaur took off with a

terrific leap just as a goblin burst into view.

"Tallyho!" the goblin cried, and blew on a hom he

carried, alerting the others. The sound was amazingly loud

and vulgar.

"I hate those stink horns," Ivy said as they raced

through the light foliage beside the stream.

The centaur was proceeding vigorously, psychologically

buoyed by Ivy's supposed Enhancement. But the stream

was extremely winding and clogged with rocks and brush,

so full speed was impossible. The goblins were running

along the ground on either side, evidently small enough

to duck under the worst of the obstructions, so were not

falling behind fast enough. "We've out to get well ahead

before we reach the Gap," Ivy said.

"Why, if you know the Gap Dragon?" Grey asked.

"Well, for one thing Stanley isn't likely to be right there

when we arrive. For another—"

"Oops, we're here!" Donkey said, skidding to a halt as

the landscape opened out ahead of them.

"Rats!" Ivy swore. "The gobs are too close!"

"I'll run along the edge," the centaur said, turning

abruptly. "I believe there's a passable descent not far to

the east."

Now Grey got his first clear look at the Gap. Suddenly

he felt dizzy. It was a sheer drop-off hundreds, no thou-

sands of feet down to a bottom shrouded in fog. The

morning sunbeams cut sharply across the cliffs of it, look-

ing like sparkling ramps to the depths. The stream plunged

over the edge and plummeted so far that there was no

sound of its landing. No wonder they needed time to find

a safe way into it!

"Somehow I don't think we're in Florida any more,

Toto," he murmured, awed. How could he explain this in

terms of the close-to-sea-level terrain they had ridden

through on the way to No Name Key?

"What?" Ivy asked over the wind of their motion be-

side that terrifying descent. Her greenish hair was flutter-

ing back in his face.

Man from Mundania

147

"The ramparts of my disbelief have just taken a hit,"

he explained.

"It's about time!"

The goblins burst into view again, trying to cut them

off. But Donkey made a phenomenal leap and sailed over

their heads, and landed running. Again they were left be-

hind. But they did not give up; they charged along the

brink of the great chasm, waving their clubs and throwing

their rocks, which were missing by a less-than-comfortable

margin.

"There it is!" Donkey cried, drawing up before a nar-

row side crack that extended from the major Gap.

Grey looked. There was a little path that crept down

from the crack and found some rubble at the edge of the

main chasm. It did seem to wind on down, but they would

have to go single file, and slowly. The goblins would be

upon them long before they could complete any part of

that tortuous descent.

"There's a great multiflavor pie tree," Ivy said. "I'll

enhance it, and hold them off with pies while you two get

down."

"I'll hold them off," Grey said.

"But you don't believe in the magic!" she protested.

"Those are crabapple pies, pepperpot pies—they can be

really effective, if I—"

"I believe in you," Grey said firmly. "And I'm begin-

ning to wonder about magic. Now just get out of here. If

I can't make a stand to defend the woman I love, what

good am I?"

She looked ready to argue, but the centaur spoke. "He's

right. He can do it. You go down first."

Ivy made her decision. "No, you go first. Donkey. I'll

follow right after I've Enhanced that tree."

Without further word the centaur started down the path.

Sand and pebbles skidded out under his hooves and slid

down the cliffside, but the path held.

Ivy ran to the tree and flung her arms about its trunk.

Grey rubbed his eyes; he could have sworn the pies were

growing, becoming larger and better defined in seconds.

Then Ivy stepped clear. "Follow as soon as you can,"

r

148 Man from Mundania Man from Mundania 149

she said. "I'll fetch Stanley, so if you're in doubt, just

keep throwing pies at them." She kissed him fleetingly.

"I'm Enhancing your strength, aim, and endurance. Be-

lieve in me!'' Then she was gone, into the crack.

Believe in her? When she put it that way, he had to!

The goblins were already appearing. Grey looked at the

tree. Now his eyes seemed much more finely attuned; he

recognized every variety of pie. He grabbed a pepperpot

pie whose peppers looked huge.

The first goblin charged up, waving his club. "I'll de-

stroy ya, creep!" the goblin yelled.

Grey calmly threw the pie in his face. The peppers

puffed into powder. The goblin broke into a spasm of

sneezing. He sneezed so hard that his little body flew

backwards into the goblin behind him, and a cloud of pep-

per surrounded them both. Soon several goblins were

sneezing—and several sneezed themselves right off the

brink of the precipice.

Well, now! This seemed to work well enough. The gob-

lins seemed to have used up all their stones, and there

were none nearby for them to pick up. That meant that

they were confined to their clubs, which meant they had

to get close to be effective. Which meant in turn that he

could score on a goblin with a pie before a goblin could

score with a club. There were about thirty goblins, but the

approach was narrow, so that only one could come at him

at a time.

He felt like Horatius at the bridge: the bold Roman gate-

keeper who had held off the attacking Etruscan army while

the Romans chopped down the bridge that was the only

access to the city. One man could indeed hold off an

army—if the army had to send just one man against him

at a time, and he was able to slay that man. But he had to

be good.

Ivy's Enhancement really seemed to have taken, be-

cause he felt phenomenally good. His aim with the first

pie had been perfect, and he felt strength to heave them

much farther if he needed to. He felt like a superman.

Maybe it was the power of love. Goblins, beware!

The goblins completed their sneezing; the cloud of pep-

per had finally dissipated. That one pie seemed to have

taken out about three of them. Maybe it wasn't magic, but

it had worked well enough!

A goblin charged him, club lifted. Grey quickly plucked

a crabapple pie, chose his moment, and hurled it with

uncanny accuracy at the little brute. It smote the nasty

little man right in the face, and the apple fell away—except

for a crab pincer that had fastened on the goblin's ugly

nose.

"Youff!" the goblin cried, spinning around and banging

into the one behind him.

"You sure are crabby!" the other retorted.

"I'll crab you, " the first exclaimed. He ripped the pin-

cer off his nose and thrust it at the other's eye. The pincer

snapped at the eyeball.

"Oh, yeah?" the second exclaimed, swinging at the

first with his club.

There was a melee, in the course of which three more

goblins fell off the edge.

Another goblin charged Grey. Grey plucked a popcorn

pie and hurled it, again with stunning accuracy. He was

amazed at himself; he had never been a hurler like this! If

it wasn't Ivy's Enhancement, what else could account for

it?

The pie struck the goblin on the chest, and the popcorn

popped like a series of tiny firecrackers. Bits of puffed

corn flew into his face and beyond him into the faces of

the ones following. Yet another spot quarrel broke out, as

one goblin blamed his neighbor for the corn and swung

his club. Two more goblins fell off the ledge.

Grey discovered that he liked this type of combat. It

was mainly the goblins' own omeriness that got them

boosted into the chasm. If they just quit coming, no more

would be hurt. He had plenty of pies remaining.

Another goblin charged. Grey picked a pecan pie. Once

more his aim and force were uncanny; he scored on the

goblin's big head before the creature got at all close. The

pie crust clanged like a can, and its contents soaked

the goblin with yellow juice. "Oooo, ugh!" the goblin

cried, outraged. "You peed on me!"

J

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So that was the magic of the pecan! He had assumed it