Man From Mundania (35 page)

"This is Nada, Princess of the Naga," Ivy said, and

saw both Grey and Donkey take stock as Nada smiled, for

she had become beautiful recently. "And Electra." Elec-

tra was merely cute, to her perpetual annoyance. "My

brother's Betrothees."

160 Man from Mundania

"Which one?" Donkey asked, evidently having missed

this nuance of the situation before.

"Both," Ivy explained. "He hasn't chosen between

them yet." That was an oversimplification, but it would

do for now.

They walked on into the castle. "They're in the throne

room," Dolph said unnecessarily. "You better have your

lines rehearsed before they throw you in the dungeon!"

Ivy did not dignify that remark with a response. She

rehearsed her lines, mentally.

They trekked to the throne room. King Dor and Queen

Irene were there, gravely awaiting them. Their faces were

contrivedly neutral.

Ivy gulped. "Let me do the talking," she whispered to

Grey.

"Fat chance!" the tile she stood on retorted.

Grey looked startled.

"My father's talent," Ivy explained quickly. "Talking

to the inanimate—and having it talk back. And does it ever

talk back! Some of his magic collects where he goes often,

like this doorway."

"Any idiot knows that!" the tile sneered.

"Shut up, you deadwood, or I'11 stomp you!" Ivy whis-

pered fiercely.

"Yeah? I'd like to see you try, pudding-brain!"

Ivy lifted a foot threateningly.

"With a lady slipper?" the tile demanded. "Get on

with you, or I'll blab what color your panties are!"

"Don't you dare!" Ivy snapped furiously.

"I'll stomp it," Grey offered. "I'm wearing thick hard-

soled Mundane shoes."

The tile was abruptly silent.

"I think you have a way with these things," Ivy said,

smiling. Then she squared her shoulders, set her little chin,

and marched on into the throne room. Grey followed, and

Donkey.

Silently they took their places before the two thrones.

Ivy's parents surveyed them for what seemed like half an

eternity. Her father was not a large man—in fact he was

about Grey's size—but was horrendously regal in his crown

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and royal robe. Her mother was stunning with her green

hair and green gown. Ivy had always been secretly jealous

of Irene's generous proportions; Ivy herself was relatively

modestly endowed. But her mother's eyes were narrowed:

a sure sign of mischief.

At last King Dor spoke. "Welcome home, daughter.

Please introduce your companions."

Ivy turned and indicated the centaur. "This is Donkey

Centaur, whom we rescued from the Goblinate of the

Golden Horde, and who in turn protected us from recap-

ture by carrying us clear of that region. I hope he will be

welcome at Castle Roogna."

King Dor focused on Donkey. "Are you of good char-

acter, Donkey?"

"Of course. Your Majesty."

"Then you are welcome here. You may use the orchard

freely, and one of the castle staff will show you the prem-

ises. I shall assign—"

Queen Irene nudged him. He glanced where she indi-

cated. "Perhaps Electra will volunteer for that task." For

Electra was bouncing on her toes, back near the door, her

hand raised eagerly. Of course she wanted to exchange

rides for information. The girl was fifteen, but looked as

young as Dolph and retained her childish ways. She could

be a lot of fun; Donkey would like her.

Ivy swallowed. "And this is Grey of Mundania, my

betrothed.''

There was a distinctly awkward silence. Then Dor's

throne spoke. "Oooo, what a scandal! No princess ever—"

Irene kicked it with the side of her foot, and it shut up.

But there was a low snickering from other artifacts in the

room. The inanimate was enjoying this situation.

"We shall discuss that matter at another time," Irene

said. "Grey, it may be that my daughter has not made her

situation clear to you. Do you understand the problem we

have with Mundanes?"

"Of course he does!" Ivy said quickly. "I told—"

Irene flashed a look at her which had the same effect as

the kick at the throne, for much the same reason. Ivy had

to stand aside.

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' 'Your Majesty, Ivy told me that she was a Princess of

Xanth, a land where magic works," Grey said carefully.

"Did you believe her?" Irene put in.

Grey spread his hands, in the Mundane way he had. "I

believed she believed."

"And you did not?"

"Magic doesn't work in Mundania, Your Majesty."

"You are evading the issue, young man," Irene

snapped.

Grey jumped guiltily. "I, uh, did not believe her."

Dor tapped his fingers on the armrest of his throne. ' 'Do

you believe her now?"

"Yes, Your Majesty."

"So now you want to marry her?" Irene demanded.

"Uh, yes."

Ivy gritted her teeth. How awful that made him look!

"Why?"

Grey was surprised. "Because I love her," he said. "In

spite of her being a princess."

Irene seemed ready to burst. Ivy quailed. "In spite of?"

Irene inquired.

"Well, she told me how complicated it would be, and

really I'd rather, uh, have her all to myself, but she is what

she is and I guess I'll have to live with it."

Both King and Queen stared at him. Ivy closed her eyes.

This was going even worse than she had feared.

"So you consider it a liability to be a princess—or a

queen," Irene said with deceptive calmness. The decora-

tive exotic plants set around the throne room writhed, sen-

sitive to the building storm.

"Yes, Your Majesty. I'm sorry if I have offended you,

but that's the way I see it. I mean, it's such a big respon-

sibility, in such a weird land."

Irene shot a look at Ivy. "Did he ask you to marry him

before or after he believed you were a princess?"

Ivy laughed, embarrassed. "Neither, Mother. I asked

him. Before he believed."

Irene exchanged a glance with her husband. She shook

her head as if bewildered. Then she focused again on Grey.

"There is a great deal more to be decided on this matter,

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and we have not yet come to a decision. But I think it is

safe to say that we like you. Grey of Mundania."

Ivy's mouth dropped open. "Uh, thanks," Grey said.

King Dor stood. "This audience is at an end."

Grey was given a bed in Dolph's room, though there

were chambers free. Ivy didn't protest; she had been afraid

Grey would not be allowed to stay in Castle Roogna.

Probably this was her parent's way of chaperoning one boy

or the other, or both. At any rate, she did not get to see

Grey for a while, but knew he was in good hands.

She went to her room, eager to get properly cleaned up

and changed. She knew that her Mundane clothing was a

poor outfit for a princess, even when clean, and this was

not.

She had hardly entered, when there was a knock. "It's

your father," the door said.

"Let him in," she said, smiling. It was nice to be back

where the parts of the building talked.

The door opened and King Dor entered. Ivy ran to him

and flung herself into his arms. In the formal encounter in

the throne room she had had to be proper and princessly,

and this was back to normal. "Oh, Daddy, I missed you!"

"I think not as much as we missed you," he replied,

hugging her tightly. "When we were unable to trace you,

we realized that you were either in the gourd or in Mun-

dania. When you didn't call in, we knew it wasn't the

gourd. That meant trouble, but there was no way to locate

you, let alone reach you. Your mother was having connip-

tions."

Ivy had to smile at that. Conniptions were nasty little

things that floated in to pester anyone who was severely

upset. They were harmless but messy, and Queen Irene

would have been acutely embarrassed to have them there.

"I was in Mundania, all right," she agreed. "I think

Murphy's Curse interfered with the Heaven Cent again,

and garbled where it sent me. So I went where a Mundane

named Murphy needed a girl, instead of where Good Ma-

gician Humfrey was."

"Murphy? You said his name is Grey."

164 Man from Mundania

"Grey Murphy. Mundanes use two names. He helped

me return to Xanth, and then I brought him in. I knew I

shouldn't, but I liked him."

"He's a nice boy. But you know you can't marry him."

"Where is it written that a Xanthian can't marry a Mun-

dane?" she flared.

"Oh, a Xanth-Mundania union is possible. But the rules

for princesses are more stringent. There would be turmoil

in the kingdom if you became king and were married to a

Mundane."

Ivy sighed. "I know. But maybe Dolph can be king

instead. Or maybe some other Magician will turn up."

"If that happens, you will still be needed as a reserve.

We have too few Magicians and Sorceresses; we must con-

serve every one. So you must maintain your eligibility.