Man From Mundania (55 page)

Read Man From Mundania Online

Authors: Piers Anthony

Tags: #Fiction, #Fantasy, #General, #Princesses, #Magic, #Epic, #Fantasy fiction; American, #Xanth (Imaginary place)

seem to solve my problem, wouldn't it? Of course I would

not require the child to marry a harridan."

 

HAVE NO CONCERN, the screen printed. IN THE RE-

NEWED AMBIENCE OF MAGIC SHE WILL REVERT AT THE

SAME RATE SHE AGED, UNTIL SHE RESUMES HER POINT OF

EQUILIBRIUM FOR THAT ENVIRONMENT.

 

"Oh, 'Lectra!" Ivy exclaimed, much relieved. She

opened her arms to hug her friend, then saw how strange

the older woman looked, and fell back. This might be the

same person as her friend, but it was hard to accept emo-

tionally.

 

"Your reaction is perfectly understandable," Electra

said tolerantly. If she was hurt, she masked it with the

competence for which adults were notorious. Ivy felt very

small and grubby, inside.

 

"We'd better, uh, go see my folks," Grey said. "They

live in Squeedunk, about sixty miles from here. I went to

City College because it was the closest one that gave a

tuition break for state residents, but it was too far to com-

mute. There's a daily bus, but its schedule is calculated to

make it useless, and it always runs late anyway."

"But we have to do this in one day!" Ivy said.

"We could take a taxi, if I had the money, but—"

 

 

 

 

254 Man from Mundania

 

THERE IS AN EMERGENCY RESERVE FUND THAT WILL

COVER THIS.

 

Ivy looked at the screen suspiciously. ' 'Why are you

being so helpful. Pewter? You know we don't like you!"

 

I AM NOT PEWTER. I AM MERELY A SENDING SENT TO

DO PEWTER'S BIDDING. IT IS MY TASK TO FACILITATE THE

LIAISON BETWEEN GREY MURPHY AND PRINCESS IVY, AND

YOUR CONSULTATION WITH MAGICIAN MURPHY WILL ES-

TABLISH YOUR SITUATION. THE MONEY IS IN THE DISK

MAILER UNDER MY MONITOR.

 

Grey looked under the screen. He found the mailer

there. Behind the floppy disk was a packet of money he

hadn't noticed before, hidden until he looked for it. He

nodded. "This will do it."

 

But Ivy wasn't quite satisfied. "So, Sending, you're not

the same as Pewter? What do you get out of this?"

 

DATA INSUFFICIENT.

 

"Don't give me that!" she snapped. "You know exactly

what I mean! Bad folk never do things just because they're

supposed to; they always have something to gain."

 

DATA INSUFFICIENT.

 

Electra stepped in. "What she means to say, Sending,

is that it would facilitate her liaison with Grey Murphy if

she had just a bit more information. She is so constituted

that she tends to distrust what she does not understand,

and that may prejudice her relationship with her fiance's

parents and therefore with Grey as well. Since your par-

ticipation is integral, your separate input is necessary so

that the mission will not be compromised."

 

CLARIFICATION ACCEPTED.

 

Ivy kept her mouth shut. Electra's new maturity was

coming in handy!

 

"Normally each party to an agreement receives an

emolument appropriate to his participation," Electra con-

tinued incomprehensibly. "What is your reward in the

event the mission is successful?"

 

RETURN TO XANTH.

 

"And what is your penalty in the event the mission is

unsuccessful?"

 

CONFINEMENT TO MUNDANIA.

 

Mon from Mundanio

 

255

 

Electra looked benignly crafty in the way that only an

adult could. "As it happens, we are shortly to return to

Xanth. We might take you with us, so that you would have

no further need to gamble on the outcome of the mission

for your own resolution, if you were to cooperate with

us."

 

The screen flickered. ARE YOU ATTEMPTING TO BRIBE

ME?

 

Again that crafty adult smile. "Parties of conscience

neither proffer nor accept unwarranted remuneration. They

merely come to reasonable understandings."

 

WHAT DO YOU REQUIRE?

 

"Information on how Ivy may marry Grey without be-

ing required either to support his commitment of servitude

to Com-Pewter or to exile herself with him in Mundania.''

 

I DO NOT KNOW HOW THE DEAL WITH COM-PEWTER CAN

BE ABROGATED, BUT THERE IS A STRATEGY THAT WILL AC-

COMPLISH THIS IF IT IS POSSIBLE. WILL INFORMATION ON

THAT STRATEGY SATISFY YOUR REQUIREMENT?

 

Electra looked at Ivy. "The Sending is ready to deal. I

think this is the best it can offer. How do you feel?"

 

Ivy had hardly followed the preceding dialogue. It

seemed to her that neither Electra nor Sending had said

anything intelligible, yet somehow they seemed to under-

stand each other. "It will help us if we help it?"

 

"It will tell us what to do to get around Pewter's plot,

if it is possible to get around it."

 

"Then make the deal!" Ivy exclaimed gladly.

 

Electra returned to the screen. "That information will

satisfy our requirement. How may we most expeditiously

facilitate your transport to Xanth?"

 

TAKE MY OISK.

 

Grey went to a small box. "The original Vaporware

Limited disk is here. We can carry it with us with no

trouble at all."

 

"But in Xanth, how will the Sending animate?" Ivy

asked. "Doesn't it need a screen or something?"

 

THERE ARE MAGIC SCREENS IN XANTH. YOU MAY DE-

POSIT ME WITH ANY ONE OF THOSE. ONE IS IN THE ISTH-

MUS.

 

 

 

 

256
       
Man from Mundania

 

"We'll do it," Ivy agreed, pleased. "Now, what's your

strategy?"

 

RETURN MAGICIAN MURPHY TO XANTH, AFTER OBTAIN-

ING HIS AGREEMENT TO EXERT HIS TALENT ON YOUR

BEHALF.

 

"But his talent is to make things foul up!" Ivy pro-

tested.

 

Now Grey caught on. "But he controls it, doesn't he?

He makes the side he's against foul up! And if he's against

Com-Pewter's plot—"

 

"It might foul up!" Ivy concluded. "And then we'd be

 

all right!"

 

Grey tucked the disk box into a small suitcase, and Ivy

added some Mundane clothing. Electra ate some more

from the food on the shelves. Then they set out for Squee-

dunk.

 

The Murphy's house was typical of Mundane resi-

dences: neat, clean, and drear. Ivy wondered how they

had been able to stand it all these years. But of course they

had had no choice; no one in Mundania did. If Mundanes

could escape Mundania, they would all move to Xanth!

 

The taxi let them off, after Grey paid the cabbie. The

dour driver looked almost satisfied as he drove away. "I

gave him a twenty-five percent tip," Grey explained,

touching her hand. Ivy smiled just as if she understood

what this was. In fact, she was surprised that she could

understand any of his words, now that they were away

from Sending's screen. Then she realized that they had

Sending along, in the disk. The machine's power was di-

minished, but when Ivy touched Grey she could under-

stand him.

 

They walked up the walk, and Grey knocked on the

door. A pudgy woman opened it. "Npuifs!" Grey ex-

claimed, hugging her.

 

"Hsfz—xibu bsfzpv epjoh ifsf?" she asked, surprised.

"Eje zpv gbjm Gsftinbo Fohmjti?"

 

"Opu fybdumz," he responded. "Mppi, Nb, uijt jt

dpnqmjdbufe. J'mm fyqmbjm fwfszuijoh."

 

They were ushered inside, and introduced as "Jwz"

 

Man from Mundania
       
257

 

and "Pmfdusb." Then they sat on the worn, comfortable

couch, and Ivy made sure to sit right next to Grey and put

her hand on his suitcase, so that she could understand what

he was saying.

 

Grey's father was old. Ivy remembered from Pewter's

pictures that Magician Murphy had been of middle age

when he and Vadne escaped from Xanth, and this was

nineteen years later, so his age wasn't surprising. Grey's

mother was of middle age, no longer young, and had

gained a fair amount of weight. It really would have been

hard to distinguish this couple from any other Mundanes,

but increasingly she was able to see the remnants of the

folk they once had been. It was really too bad what two

decades of Mundane life could do to folk!

 

"First," Grey said, "I have to tell you that I now know

about Xanth." Both his parents stiffened, remaining ex-

pressionless; this was evidently a secret they had pre-

served throughout. "I know about the deal you made with

Com-Pewter, and why you never told me about it. It was

because you didn't want me to go there and have to serve

the machine.''

 

The parents exchanged a Mundanish glance. "Zft," the

Magician said. Ivy needed no translation; he had just con-

firmed the thing they had come to confirm.

 

"But Com-Pewter didn't leave it to chance," Grey said.

"It sent a Sending, who brought me Ivy, here, from Xanth.

She is the daughter of King Dor and Queen Irene, and is

a Sorceress in her own right." He paused. "And—she is

my fiancee.''

 

They stared at Ivy incredulously. Ivy nodded, feeling

abruptly choked.

 

After a long moment, Vadne fumbled for a handkerchief

and dabbed at her eyes. Then she stood and opened her

arms to Ivy.

 

Ivy got up and went to her and embraced her. There

was a thing about betrothals that women understood on a

level men did not. The language didn't matter.

 

Then the language did. "Zpv—You are really of

Xanth?" Vadne asked slowly.

 

 

 

 

258

 

Man from Mundania

 

Man from Mundania

 

259

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