Man From Mundania (58 page)

naughty kiss from Dolph.

The formalities were brief: Magician Murphy formally

apologized for the mischief he had done in the past, and

promised to support King Dor and all his works in the

future. Vadne asked to be allowed to visit Millie the Ghost

at Castle Zombie so she could apologize to her for the

incident of the book. Dor granted them both pardons.

"Now," Murphy said, turning to Grey, "I hereby lay

my curse on the geis that is on you, my son, and wish it

evil. Whatever can go wrong with it will go wrong."

"Thank you, Father," Grey said, trying to project the

feeling of confidence. What a dismal hope!

"You and me Sorceress will be our guests for dinner,

Magician," King Dor said formally. "Zora will show you

to your suite now.''

Neither of Grey's parents spoke, but Grey knew them:

they were overwhelmed by the generosity with which they

had been met, and could not speak. Vadne, who he now

realized had resented the fact that she had never been

known as a Sorceress despite having a formidable talent,

would be loyal to King Dor for life because of that one

remark. They followed Zora Zombie out.

Grey lingered, wanting to thank the King and Queen for

their kindness to his parents. But Ivy caught his arm.

"They know. Grey. Mother wasn't a Sorceress either, un-

til the elders reconsidered. The standards have been mod-

ified. Xanth needs all the good magic it can get."

"Uh, sure," he agreed, as she hauled him off.

"You see, we also understand about good and evil

magic," Ivy continued, guiding him upstairs. "Grandpa

Trent was an Evil Magician, because he tried to take power

before his time, and he was exiled to Mundania. But then

he returned when they needed a king, and he became king,

and then he wasn't evil any more. It's all in the attitude

and in the situation. Now that your folks are supporting

mine, they aren't evil either, no matter what happened

long ago."

"But how would my folks have felt, or yours, if you

and I were not engaged?"

"But you see we are betrothed," she said blithely. "So

there's no reason for trouble between our folks, because if

our children have good magic—"

"But that's presuming we can marry!" he protested.

"And we can't marry if I have to serve Com-Pewter."

"I don't think you appreciate just how potent your fa-

ther's magic is. I've been talking to my father, who visited

King Roogna's time when he was twelve; and he met your

father then, and he said that curse was amazing. The gob-

lins and harpies were fighting, see, and—here, I'll show

you on the Tapestry!"

They had reached her room. She opened the door and

hauled him in. And stopped. "This isn't the way I left

it!" she exclaimed, glaring at the Tapestry. "Who's been

here?"

The door swung closed behind them. As it did, its hinge

made a noise. "Prince Dolph!" it squealed.

"I thought so! And what is he now?"

"That fly on the ceiling," the hinge said.

Ivy grabbed a fly swatter from a drawer. "Change,

Dolph, or I'll bash you into a smithereen!" she cried,

stalking the fly.

The fly became a bat who headed for the window. But

Ivy got there first. "Change, before I mash you into

guano!"

The bat became a pale green goat, who ran for the door.

"Grey, stop that greenback buck!" Ivy called. "Null

his magic!"

Grey put out a hand. The moment it touched the buck's

hom, the animal became Prince Dolph.

"Ah, you'd never have caught me, if that hinge hadn't

squealed," Dolph complained.

Ivy would not be distracted. "You're not supposed to

be in my room when I'm home! What were you doing?"

"Just watching the Tapestry," the boy said guiltily.

"And what were you watching, that made you sneak in

here right now?"

Dolph scumed his feet together. "Just—things."

270
       
Man from Mundania

Ivy's outrage expanded. "You were watching Nada

change clothing!"

"Well, she is my betrothee," Dolph mumbled.

"Trying to catch a glimpse of her panties!" Ivy con-

cluded triumphantly. "Do you know what Mother will do

to you for that?"

"Don't tell! Please don't tell!" Dolph begged. "I'll do

anything!"

"I'll think about it," Ivy said. "Now get out of here,

you little sneak, before I Enhance you into a human be-

ing."

Dolph was only too glad to make his escape.

"How can you cow him like that, when he can turn into

a dragon if he wants to?" Grey asked.

"It's the natural right of big sisters. Now just let me

reset the Tapestry—" ,

"Hey, isn't that the Goblinate of the Golden Horde?"

Grey asked, seeing the picture that had been frozen on it.

"I thought Dolph was watching Nada." He had some

sympathy for the boy's interest; Nada was one fine-looking

girl, and doubtless her panties were impressive. Grey had

never seen them himself; she had lost her clothing during

the episode on Parnassus.

"That's right. Obviously Dolph scrambled the weave so

I wouldn't know. It was all he could do in the moment

before he changed forms."

"Scrambled the weave?"

"You know—he just made a random reset of the pic-

ture, so I couldn't tell where it had been set. If he'd had

more time he would have put it back the way I had left it.

He's pretty cunning about that sort of thing, usually. He

just didn't expect me back so quickly. He probably figured

I'd take time out to kiss you in the hall for a while." She

glanced at him sidelong. "Correctly. Only then we were

discussing your father's curse, and I decided to show you

on the Tapestry, so we came on in and caught him un-

awares. So this setting is pure chance. I'll just—"

"What's happening? If those are the same goblins

who—"

She looked at the frozen picture more closely. "I'm sure

Man from Mundania
       
271

they are. See, there's the mean old chief. But this must be

years ago, because he's not quite so ugly as he was when

we crossed him."

"Ouch! That means there's no chance to help their vic-

tims." For he saw that a partly of three gremlins had been

captured. The goblins were just in the process of taking

whatever possessions the gremlins had.

"Little chance," Ivy agreed. "I wonder how they

caught those gremlins. They're usually way too smart for

goblins."

"They caught us!" he reminded her.

"Let's play this through," she said. "Just out of idle

curiosity. Then we can go on to Magician Murphy's old-

time curses."

The picture moved, the figures zipping backwards rap-

idly, like video tape being rewound. Then it steadied. The

goblins were out of sight, and two gremlins were walking

down the path.

"Oh, I see," Ivy said grimly. "The third isn't in their

party. She's a—a—"

"A shill? A Judas goat? But why would she lure her

own kind into a trap?"

"To save her life." They watched as the two ap-

proached the third, who was tied to a tree and gesticulat-

ing, obviously a maiden in distress.

The two hurried up to untie her—and the goblins

pounced from the bushes nearby. They searched the cap-

tives, and just at the point where the Tapestry had been

randomly frozen they found a scrap of paper on one. They

were evidently quite exited about it and saved it carefully.

Then they hauled the two off toward the hate spring and

the cooking pots. The third they hustled into a cave; she

would be saved for future mischief.

"I hate those goblins!" Grey exclaimed. "Can't any-

body stop them?"

"It's sort of live and let live, in Xanth," Ivy said. "But

I would certainly like to see them get their comeup-

pance. ''

"I wonder what was written on that paper?"

Ivy played the Tapestry back, and caused it to expand

Man from Mundania

272

the paper. But the markings on it were incomprehensible.

"Maybe Grundy could read it," she said. "He speaks all

languages, so maybe he reads some too."

"Of course that paper has probably been burned by now

anyway," Grey said. "I really didn't mean to get off on a

sidetrack."

"Why not? Little things can be interesting." Ivy went

to the door. "Hey, Dolph!" she called.

Her little brother appeared immediately. "Anything!"

he repeated worriedly.

"Go find Grundy and bring him back."

"That's it?" he asked incredulously.

"No, that's just incidental. I'm still pondering."

"Qh." Dolph became the bat and flew away.

"You're going to turn him in?" Grey asked.

"No. But I'll make him sweat for a while. He's very

well behaved when he's sweating."

Soon Grundy Golem and Rapunzel were there. Grundy

peered at the expanded image of the paper. "I can't quite

make out what it says, it seems to be an address of some

kind, but—oh, say!"

"Say what?" Ivy asked.