Maniacs in The Fourth Dimension (9 page)

''Not yet I
can't, but… That reminds me of something. There's an old belief in
the Balkans-''

I need to tell you that Hubert
knows alot about religious rites, customs and folklore of the
Balkans, he gathered his knowledge from mountains of books.

''There's an old belief in the
Balkans that every house has its protector snake, guardian of the
house, the spirit of a notable ancestor that lives under the
house.''

''A totem animal.''

''And to kill
such a snake would be to kill the soul of the house. And they
killed the Convention-con's jellyfish, its totem animal. Waiter!
Another 'Jack'! ''

''And a mineral water,
please!''

Chapter twenty two

Maybe I went
too far this time.
I left him alone to
find his way through this jungle. He wanted me with him in there.
But, I simply cannot hold his hand through everything he does, he's
not a kid anymore. I have dozens of obligations, I can't sacrifice
my whole day for some fantasy convention. When I was Lee's age, I
worked with my old man, I knew my way around cars, I did all sort
of stuff, but Lee, he just spends all of his time closed in his
room with his comics.

I keep
telling him, but he doesn't understand that this is the best time
for important things. For friends, for sports, for learning what
life is. When he grows up, he'll have to get employed, caught in
the machinery, and there will be no more turning back, or slowing
down, all you get then is three weeks vacation and Sunday barbecue.
It's just the way the life is.

Lost time can't be
recovered.

It's gone
forever. Flows away like turbid water.

And my son
spends his with dark rooms, bright colors and rabid fantasies. I
know I'll sound like I missed a century or two when I say this,
but, Mark Twain's books are what kids should read. I read all of
his books and learned so much from them. Written by a wonderful
human being for human beings. But today, everyone wants to be
superheroes and vampires.

There's Lee.
Something's wrong. He sat down in the back of the car and slammed
the door. His face looks as if he cried.

''What's
wrong, son? What happened?!''

''Nothing.''

''Did someone
hurt you, boy? Where are your comics?''

''I threw them away. Don't buy
anymore comics for me, ever.''

I won't push him if he doesn't
want to talk, he'll open up when he feels comfortable.

''I'm here
now, son and everything is going to be okay.''

''Dad?''

''Yes, son?''

''That building on the left,
look over it, what do you see there?''

''Clouds… sky…what?''

''Nothing. Let's just go home,
dad.''

Chapter twenty three

I opened my eyes. I'm on the top
of the building with Cleit and Lempo. Lempo.

''Shit, dawg, how did you come
back?!''

''I didn't.
You ascended, man. This is level five. Look around
you.''

Holy fuckin' shit. No more
flying jellyfishes. There are huge trees sticking out all over the
city. A part of the city, I can see it from here, is completely
covered in giant ferns. Pine Cone Center is there, entirely
obscured. Aw, man.

''What are
those things flying out of the ferns?''

''Prehistoric
dragonflies. Aren't they cool?''

Suddenly,
from behind the corner, a big black T-Rex appeared, roamed the
street bellow us, and went away.

''You gotta be fuckin' kiddin'
me…''

''Yeah, a
tyrannosaur. They're actually coal black.''

''Cleit, are you seeing
this?!''

He's going away.

''Cleit!''

''He can't
see you or hear you, man , he can't see any of these things, he's
still on the level four.''

''Cleit!''

''What did I just say?! Don't
shout, something might hear us.''

Soooo fuckin' weird.

''I shouldn't of crushed those
branches, I feel like I'm dreaming. Dreaming on acid! In
purgatory!''

''Quiet! It
will air out. Try to do this.''

He started making electricity
between his fingers, like that guy in the park.

''Come on, you try.''

''How?''

''Just open your fist.''

Agh. Shit. There it is. I can
make it grow, or make it recede. It hurts my elbow so bad.

''It hurts like I've sticked a
needle in the power plug.''

''It'll pass, you'll get used to
it.''

He started pushing and shaking
me.

''This is
awesome, man! It feels so good! So powerful! Whooo! Let's go follow
Cleit.''

We caught up with Cleit in the
elevator. I tried putting my hands on him, but they just went
through him.

''I feel like a ghost.''

''I know. So cool.''

It's horrible. Claustrophobic.
God.

''What happened with
Laszlo?''

''I went to
the top of your building looking for him. That wasn't the best
possible place for ascension. There was a velociraptor on top, he
massacred him.''

''Who
massacred who?''

''Laszlo
massacred the velociraptor with the sword. Absorbed his energy, and
ascended automatically, I guess. He wasn't there when I came, just
the carcass.''

''Well, what the fuck are we
going to do if one of those gwangis attacks us?''

''We'll do
'the hand' thing, and kill the gwangi. But only if we must, because
we don't want to go up before Cleit joins us.''

We followed
Cleit in the street. No gwangis so far. Good. Very good. Cleit went
down to the subway station.

''Where is he going?''

''To get some more fireworks,
probably.''

''Why isn't
he going to Toussaint Louverture's, couple of blocks away, why is
he going to the subway?!''

''Because he
doesn't know where you get your fireworks, you should have told him
while you still could.''

We sat next
to him in the subway. Like two ghosts. No one can see us. Cleit
looked sad. For a moment, I thought that he's going to start
crying. He swallowed it down. Such a pity. He kinda deserves more
than to waste his time with Isaac, Lempo and me. He has a kind,
beautiful soul. He deserves to be a president, or somethin'. Not
one of those presidents that bomb the poor in
Who-da-fuck-would-know-where-stan, but, like, a good president,
like Kennedy. Oh, yeah. They killed Kennedy. Good that Cleit is
with us then, because they would definitely kill him if he was
president, he would never bomb anyone.

He left the
subway at the Pine Cone Center, and we followed him. We followed
him into the giant fern forest that swallowed this part of the
city. It's filled with those dragonfly things, but luckily they
don't seem to be interested in us. They're fighting each others in
the air, mating, or somethin'. I guess this is where the park would
be, back in our dimension.

Wait. Something moves. Something
big.

''Holly fuckin' shit, Lempo,
what the fuck is that?!''

''An iguanodon.''

Huge fuckin' lizard.

''Don't worry, he feeds on
vegetation.''

He saw us,
looked at us, and continued eating the fern. Good. There's more of
them. Lot more. Out of somewhere, a guy and a girl appeared.
They're holding hands, walking. I guess they're just walking
through the park, back in our dimension. They stopped in front of
one lizard, and started kissing. The animal stared at them. If they
would just know what is looking at them right now. Maybe something
is looking at me right now, from some higher dimension. Maybe none
of us is ever really alone.

This made me remember one song.
Unvisible Zedd. Lempo hit my shoulder.

''Come on, let's not lose
Cleit.''

We found him talking to a
girl.

''Is that that girl from the
convention?''

''Where are
your friends, the tall guy that can't stop laughing, and the Asian
guy?'', she said.

''Bweheh! You
hear that Lempo? You're Asian.''

''I hear…''

''They're on the next
level.''

''Unreal.
They're talking about us, and we're standing right next to them.
It's like in this song, 'Unvisible Zedd'. You know that song,
Lempo?''

''No.''

''Little
little lady, all alone in her house, she’s preparing for a-bed,
little does she know, little does she know, she is in the house
with Unvisible Zedd…
''

''I don't know that song.''

''It has this
really cachy beat :
tat-ta-tat-ta-ta-ta-ta-tat-ta-tat-ta-ta-ta-ta-RATATATAAA-RATATATAAA,
she's in the house with Unvisible Zedd…''

''Stop singing! Let's just
follow them.''

Ratatataaa-ratatataaa, she's in the house with Unvisible
Zedd. I heard that song so many times, but I never understood the
lyrics.

'
Little lady, in her kitchen

She's bending over, over frying
pan

Little does
she know, while she's bending over

She's strip
teasing for unvisible man '

It's starting
to make sense now, in the fifth dimension. Maybe the author wrote
it from the fifth dimension. Now, I am the Unvisible
Zedd.

Cleit and the
little little lady got the fireworks, and they rushed to the top of
the closest building, but not to become Unvisible Zedds themselves,
but for animal magnetism. You know, for sex.
Tat-ta-tat-ta-ta-ta-ta-tat…

''Oh, c'mon, I can't belive
this! Jove, let's go down, let's give them privacy.''

Ratatataaa-ratatataaa…

''Jove!''

''I'm not going! I have to watch
over them.''

''Oh my god…
You monkeyboned!''

''What?!''

''You're
having a boner, you're turned on by this!'', he tried to grope my
genitals, but I quickly clenched his arms.

''Either go,
or stay, but if you tell Cleit I watched him, I will feed you to
one of them gwangis. Got it?! Good.''

Tat-ta-tat-ta-ta-ta-ta

Tat-ta-tat-ta-ta-ta-ta

Ratatataaa

Ratatataaa

She's in the
house with Unvisible Zedd

Little does
she know

Little does she know

She is in
love with Unvisible Zedd…

Chapter twenty four

I can't
di
tch 'em. They keep tagging along. She
went into some state of shock, and he's a moron.

''Why don't you just take her
home, girl's obviously not feeling well.''

''Go home
Alice! Kristen and I are on a quest. Just go!''

Dick.

''You and I
are on nothing, what part of what I said you don't understand?! I
don't want you following me. Your girl got messed up, look at her,
everything that happened today was obviously too much for her, her
lips are white, she's in shock. Take her home!''

''She's fine,
she's always like that, she never speaks much, but, she's a grown
person and can take care of herself. Also, you and I should stick
together, we'll have better chances of success.''

God, what
moron. If I just knew, I would have let that psycho break his arm.
I just don't have tolerance for bullies. I knew a couple of them,
and I know how easily they break. I can fend for myself.

But this
freak, first he was thanking me, and that was okay, we talked, and
he started most retarded possible flirt with me. In the presence of
his girlfriend. He was complimenting my hair, my sneakers, my nail
polish. And my nails aren't even polished. And she was just staring
like a mule. I didn't tolerate him for long, I told him that I
don't want him around me, and that he has the breath of a corpse.
Guy's breath is unbearable. He just stared at me and smiled like an
idiot, like he doesn't understand my words.

''I'm serious, you really need
to brush your teeth, stink from your mouth is disgusting, I'm not
kidding.''