Masked (2010) (23 page)

that did not make sense. stormy tried to explane but i did not understand. there were lots of matt savoys? they were everywear?

i was hopping mad. i had stormy rite a letter. I said she should show me these matt savoys and if they made her cry or even came near her panties i would give them the BUSINESS. i would give every one of them the BUSINESS.

she did not rite back after that so I gess it was rong to say.

stormy said he wanted to help me trane for the future becuz i
could not warsh dirty underdrawers my hole life. so i became his ASSOCIATE and we ran the place. if anyone wanted anything we got it for them and if they didnt pay i would snap their fingers or toes. it made me feel bad at first then i thot of matt savoy and it was hard to stop at one finger or one toe. I just wanted to snap and snap and snap.

pretty soon everyone paid.

stormy said we were WEED and SPEED and i was weed and he was speed and we sold those and some other things too and pretty soon i liked to have money and respect and i had lots.

pretty soon i liked snapping fingers too.

wheel of fortune is on. that lady who turns letters on that show is so smart, she always turns the letters without even looking!

stormy got out two years before me and that was a lonly time. i tried to keep WEED and SPEED going but i found out kwick that i could not do it. i am not smart. i know that.

stormy rote to me and he said the big money was working with SUPERVILLAINS. he was working for a guy called MISTER METEOR who had the power to call little balls of fire abot the size of the hamster that got flushed in grade number 2. he said there was a job for me wen i got out and i said okay becuz its not like i will be a science guy when I grow up.

i got out wen i was sixteen and stormy picked me up in a van he bot special to fit me becuz now i am almost 8 feet tall. he asked what i wanted first grass or ass and i said neither becuz i wanted a real cheeseburger so we had abot a milyun of those.

wen i showed mister meteor that i could pick up the van he hired me rite away and gave me a mask and a shirt with a big huge fireball on it which i thot was pretty funny. he asked me what my hench name would be and i said thug thinking it was scary. he said it was perfect.

mister meteor was not much of a supervillain. we robbed normal people okay but wen we tryed to rob a bank it was hopeless. first he set off the fire alarms and then one of the tellers a girl even sprayed him with a fire EXTINGUISHER and by the time the cops came he looked like he was already in jail so i grabbed stormy and bashed down a wall and we ran.

i may not be smart but i know wen people are broke and our next couple hench gigs were bad. we did a cuple weeks with the COLOR KING who never seemed to rob anyone just get in fites with SENSATION who is this woman with big bosoms who fights crime in a swimsuit. he would fite with her and we would stand around like we were all DEVELOPMENTALLY DISABLED. there is no money in fiting bosom girls and so no cheeseburgers either so whats the point???

then we got a gig with the AMMONIAZON who wanted to pay us in SEXUAL CONGRESS which i figger is just more naked books but with out the book part and i figger that prolly involves lookin at some ones rear end again and i remembered them shorts in the laundry at the juvie and i didnt want no part of that.

around this time stormy started to think abot how strong i was and he said i should try bein a SUPERVILLAIN myself and he said the ones we was working for didnt have the rite MOTIVATION and i asked what that was and he said REVENGE and i said what did i want REVENGE from and he said SOCIETY and all the best SUPERVILLAINS wanted REVENGE and i reminded him that i sometimes needed help finding my way home from 1 block away and he said that was so and we didnt talk abot that idea no more.

then oh boy did we get a break. one of the smartest SUPERVILLAINS was a guy called MISERY MAN and he said he wanted us to come and work for a REAL master criminal so stormy said that was the big time and that was that.

every thing changed for us then. we got our own fancy cars with rockets. we had cheeseburgers every nite we wanted it and i
wanted it every nite. we wore a fancy armor soot I sware he looked like a astro not or some thing. he had a mask that wen you looked at it you did not see his face but your own face stairing back at you like a mirror. stormy said it was scary as well i wont say what stormy said it was as scary as becuz it is a bad word.

he patted me on the back one day and said i was part of his family now and everyone would be scared of us. scared as what stormy said.

and they were. we fought the TITAN TWINS and LEOPARD LASS and CRUSADING SPIRIT and beat them all good. misery man didnt have no powers but he had a lot lot lot of science thinking and money so he had abot every kind of gun and toy. and they were scared. the cops and the bad guys and the good guys and every one.

we hit banks and trains and one time even a cruise ship and i asked stormy how much money did i have now and stormy said it was more than i could count to and i said a milyun and he said yeah. i thot i heared a little harp music rite then i am not lying.

i started to have a real good feeling abot being a hench and one day we were robbing this casino and i was helping myself to the buffet wen i heared a terrible sound and a scream like a friend of mine which was stormy. wen i got to him he had been shot and was a little bit on fire which i patted out but i am afraid i patted too hard becuz i am sure i cracked some of his ribs like the bbq ribs on the buffet. he looked up at me with the saddest eyes and then my only friend was gone. it made me mad so i gave that casino the BUSINESS and i gess some people got hurt which only made me sadder the next day. i dont like to hurt no people that arent bothering me any way.

misery man was very nice abot it he said take the day off alvin becuz you are part of our family now and we lost a family member but i said there was only one thing to make me less sad and that was since he was the smartest man could he find a girl named lynn for me just to see if she is okay and if she is happy and see if she walks in the grass with out no brace like in her drawing back
in juvie. he said he would do it and not to worry alvin he would do this for me he would find lynn miller and he was so sad abot stormy. he was so kind abot it that i started to bawl a little then a lot and couldn’t stop and he got me a blanket and pillow and i fell asleep rite there in his misery lab which was where he kept his misery sekrets.

i fell asleep while he was writing some notes or some thing and dreamed of cookies and pretty little bird girls and a nasty dream abot the naked picture books woked me rite up. i started to think. I think think thinked hard. i thot stormy and my mom were trying to tell me some thing.

and I thot what it was. i did not tell misery man lynns last name.

so i looked and i found some thing. he had kept a JOURNAL just like mine only his was in perfect riting and I bet the spelling was good too. And oh boy did I find out some things. i opened rite near the end and read it mostly backwords so it was from recent to past.

misery man had killed stormy. not the gards i should have thot of that becuz what casino gard has a gun that shoots fire? he killed him on purpose. my only friend.

back farther. he hired me and stormy and he laffed abot it actually laffed on the page like HA HA HA HA HA HA. why was that so funny???

back farther. he was keeping an eye on stormy and me watching every job we took since i got out of juvie. every bad gig he watched. with laffs HA HA HA HA on the page.

then i fownd the baddest part.

he killed my mom.

he had killed my mom and made it look like a ACCIDENT. he had run her over in the street then run her over again and there were two pages of HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

i went back to the most newest entry and read carefully tho reading makes my head ache.

kill lynn miller it said. that was it. no HA HA HA. Just

kill lynn miller.

so i went to his quarters in the misery cave to talk to him for a minit.

and maybe give him the BUSINESS. give him the BUSINESS real good.

i went into his room i did not try to be quiet. he had a bunch of death traps but i think he did not know how strong i had gotten and they did not slow me down much and the pain helped me focus on what needed to be done. Lynn miller must be my age now but she was still a little girl in the sandbox in my remember.

wen he saw me with his book he started to laff just like on the pages HA HA HA and he shot at me with the gun that he used to kill my only friend in front of the all you can eat bbq bar at the casino. it stung and i heared my skin burn but only a little.

he started to say some thing abot how he was glad he ran over my hore of a mother and thats wen i ripped the mask off his head and saw how many scars he had and how his face barely looked like a human face no more. He did not have a nose for one thing but i still did not think what that meaned.