Authors: Raven St. Pierre
He teased me even more by pulling the elastic away from the crease of my thigh. His hand eased beneath the patch of black silk that barely covered me, swiveling his wrist to get a better angle before caressing me. The slight roughness of his lengthy fingers as they entered the softness between my legs created perfect friction. When my eyes fluttered closed he knew he had me. Without thinking, I parted my thighs for him and he went deeper, making me wetter by the second.
“I have an idea,” he whispered, and my eyes reopened.
I watched him come up toward the top of the blanket and lie next to me. Once he was on his side, he turned me the same way with my back to his chest. Cradling my head on my arm, I let him position me however he had in mind—lifting my leg, bringing his hips right up against my backside. There was some rustling while he brought his shorts down a bit and then I felt him—hot, hard, impatient.
A wicked smile caused my face to light up. I couldn’t believe we were about to do this with all these people so close. Well, let Matt tell it, they were light years away, but if they were close enough for me to count how many of them were out on that deck, they were close.
“Relax,” Matt whispered, aligning himself to enter while also balancing my thigh a few inches in the air. I tried, but I’d never done anything like this before.
“They won’t know what we’re doing,” he assured me.
Slowly, my muscles became less tense and Matt was able to slip inside. When he did, he released a long breath. I tried to keep my eyes open, wanting to stay alert in case we needed to stop suddenly, but… there was no way.
It didn’t take long for me to get into it, to forget our surroundings. The feathery hairs on his thighs sent chills up my back every time they swept the backs of mine. Over and over again, Matt drove his hips toward me, grinding his pelvis into me when he got beside himself.
I couldn’t believe we were doing this, couldn’t believe I’d let him talk me into it… but I was glad he did.
He snaked his hand up the side of my body, beneath my shirt to my breast. I’d come out of my bra when I changed, so there was nothing separating his skin from mine. He touched me freely and I was glad those boundaries no longer existed between us.
What was I thinking keeping my distance from him? Why didn’t I see this in him before? Was it that I was too focused on school and everything else to really pay attention? Or had fear simply blinded me all this time?
Whatever it was, whatever had made me miss out all this time, I was happy to have gotten over it.
He went deep, so deep it was almost painful, but I refused to tell him to stop. His body slammed against mine violently, but I was starting to think I liked that, too… how rough he was… like when he pulled my hair the other night. I don’t know… maybe the few other guys I’d been with were afraid of me and I just didn’t realize it. Before Matt, I always had to call the shots in bed, otherwise my partners were all just so timid. Not him, though. He didn’t scare easily and I liked that. He saw past my walls, past my defensiveness, and he saw
me
.
Nothing else.
I removed his hand from my breast and brought his fingers to my mouth, sucking them slowly, tasting the bitter remnants of my own juices on them. He moaned louder, plowed into me harder. I lost my breath and also lost all sense of reason. His neighbors may as well have been on the moon at that point, because I stopped caring that there was anyone else around but us; stopped caring that anyone
existed
other than us.
“I love you so much,” I panted.
He didn’t answer, but his body responded for him. There was so much passion in every movement, every touch; I knew he loved me, too.
He. Loved. Me.
No if’s, ands, or buts about it—straight up, no chaser.
He loved me.
Reaching back, my fingers dug into his hip when I started coming. I was louder than I meant to be, but I couldn’t help it. I wasn’t sure if it was the added excitement of us possibly getting caught, or if it was just… him… but I didn’t mean to yell out as loud as I did.
“Harder, Matt…”
He answered my command with more intensity. I’d never felt like this before—physically, emotionally. Being with him took everything to a whole new level. It wasn’t until my orgasm was over that I realized he came, too. With labored breaths, he collapsed against me, his forehead pressing into the center of my back. I couldn’t even see straight, so I stopped trying to. Instead, I closed my eyes and let my body go limp.
A light tap to my arm pulled me back from the edge of sleep. “Hmm?” I said groggily.
I heard Matt moving behind me, fixing himself inside his shorts, I guessed. Next, he tugged at my arm, pulling me just a bit so I’d sit up.
“Uh… I think they saw us,” he whispered, his tone hinting at a laugh.
“What?” My eyes darted toward his neighbors’ house and sure enough… a couple guys hovered near the railing staring and pointing in our direction.
“Oh my, God, Matt!! You said they wouldn’t—” I couldn’t even finish my sentence. I was trying to get to my feet and inside the house. I fixed my panties and made sure my shirt was all the way down, not wanting to die of embarrassment as I high-tailed it across the sand. Matt, on the other hand, was grinning pretty hard.
Typical guy…
“Don’t blame me,” he countered when I shot him a look. “Nobody told you to be so loud.”
My face went hot with embarrassment when a laugh broke free. “I didn’t… I… Whatever, just hurry,” I urged with a whisper, wrapping myself in the blanket we just made love on.
Our feet padded against the planks of wood on the deck as we rushed toward the door. The second we made it inside, I attacked him, jumping onto his back like a wrestler, pretending to want to hurt him. To gain the upper hand, he flung both our bodies onto the couch and pinned me there with my legs locked around his waist. He was heavy on top of me, so the laugh I let out was labored.
“Okay, I give. You win,” I conceded. “Geez.”
He lifted up and then reached for my hand, helping me sit up. My eyes caught his and I never got tired of staring into them, never got tired of having them on me either. Slowly, as if we hadn’t already satisfied our carnal needs, I leaned in and kissed him, but before I could really even enjoy it… the entire house shook around us.
An earthquake.
I gasped and latched onto Matt, unsure of what to do. In one motion, he had me off the couch and pulled me toward the archway leading into the kitchen. He braced his back against one side of it and held me against his chest. Everything happened so fast. I don’t think I’d ever been more scared in my entire life. I had a fistful of Matt’s shirt wadded up in my hand and I clung to him.
“We’re gonna be okay,” he assured me, kissing the top of my hair when he did. I heard him, but wasn’t sure I believed that.
A few items that weren’t secure crashed to the floor, adding to my heightened fear. Every time something fell, I flinched in Matt’s arms. The longest thirty seconds of my life finally passed and the ground became stable again as the earthquake tapered off with a distant grumble. Outside, a car alarm or two blared from down the road and a few dogs barked—probably because they were just as freaked out as I was. I didn’t lift my head right away. I don’t know what I expected—a pile of rubble around us? Chaos?
Slowly, I turned my face away from the material of Matt’s shirt and observed. The house was still standing and aside from the few things that had fallen—a lamp, a couple pictures from the wall—everything was just like before. So, yeah, okay… I might have overreacted. Matt didn’t make me feel like I had, though. He continued to hold me, stroking my back while I calmed down.
“You okay?” he asked sweetly, still babying me.
I nodded against his chest and let my weight rest on him. “Is it really over?”
He laughed a bit. “For now, yeah. There’ll probably be aftershocks throughout the night, though. This is my first, too,” he informed me.
I backed away from him with caution, as if one false move would make the thing start up again.
“I’m gonna clean this glass up. You just have a seat on the couch,” he said, already headed for the broom and dustpan. When he left me, I just stood there, looking around like a scared puppy.
It took him about ten minutes to put things back in order and when he was done, I was still standing in the same spot.
He smiled. “Brook… you’re fine. It’s over.”
I believed him now, but was still on the fence about moving. “I know,” I answered, kinda embarrassed. Aiming my thumb over my shoulder, in the direction of the bathroom, I forced the rest of my statement out. “I’m gonna go shower.”
Turning that way, I took a few steps, hesitated to venture off on my own, and then started again. Matt laughed behind me. “You know… I wouldn’t be mad if you wanted me to come with you.”
While I knew he was definitely flirting, I absolutely
did
want him to come with me. The fear I felt was real. He smiled and met me in the hallway. Piece by piece, he undressed me, taking my panties down last. I stood there naked before him and smirked. This, what was going on between us, was such a mind trip. Matt was still very much my best friend, so these changes would take some time to sink in completely.
He removed his shirt and shorts, only wearing his boxer-briefs now. My eyes lowered when he stood upright after removing them. I tried not to stare, but who was I kidding. He knew I was extremely attracted to him, so it didn’t make sense to pretend like I wasn’t. I enjoyed seeing him naked, loved every inch of his body from head to toe.
All of him.
He started the shower and we both stepped beneath the stream once the water was warm enough. This was another first for me, showering with a guy, so I didn’t really know what to do. Were we supposed to just do our own thing? Wash and get out? Or... what?
Ugh… I’m so awkward when I’m not the one calling the shots.
My eyes followed Matt’s hand when he reached for the body wash I left in here when I showered before the premier. He squeezed some into his palm. Warm lather was methodically massaged onto my neck, shoulders, and down my arms. With his attention on taking care of me, I stared at his face.
My heart felt heavy. I didn’t want to leave him. Not just tomorrow when I’d be headed back to Lindmore; I couldn’t imagine being so far away for an entire year. South Africa was the opportunity of a lifetime, something that became harder and harder to pass up each day, but… it was becoming harder and harder to grasp the idea of passing Matt up, too.
Did it have to be that way, though? Was it so strange to think that we’d be able to pause and pick things up when I got back? It wouldn’t be like now, where we’d spend a couple hundred dollars here and there on plane tickets so we could get our fill of one another. No… it would take just shy of a full day flying to get to L.A. from Johannesburg.
… I checked.
With Matt’s schedule getting ready to be a whole lot busier, we’d be lucky to squeeze a single visit in while I was gone. And even
that
would be with a whole lot of creative rescheduling. Basically, what I’m trying to say is: if I went, I’d accept that I would basically be putting us on hold.
I grabbed his wrist gently, stopping him. His eyes lifted to mine and the concern that transferred from him to me was the first indicator that I was crying. The onset of blurred vision was the next. He looked so confused and had every right to be. It didn’t make sense that I’d be sad and crying considering how good things were going with us, but that was part of the problem. If we
weren’t
progressing so quickly, if we
weren’t
in love… leaving would be easy. But it wasn’t; it wasn’t because Matt was perfect in his own right and he was perfect for me. I’d never known anyone like him. No one had ever looked at me and seen me for who I was. People thought I was this cold, stoic person, but… not Matt. He knew there was something more on the inside. Most men didn’t think I was worth the effort it would take to break me down, but there was no convincing Matt otherwise. He always knew. He always knew that one day I’d come to my senses and realize what I had in front of me.
“I need to tell you something,” I whispered. I meant for the words to come out boldly and full of certainty, but they didn’t. They betrayed me just like these damn tears running down my face.
When I thought this all out, imagined how I’d break the news, I intended to convince Matt that this move was the right decision by bombarding him with my fancy explanations of how great this would be for my career. I was going to tell him how one year apart wouldn’t be that big a deal, but not even
I
believed all that anymore. I mean, yeah, the fact still remained that this would benefit my professional future, but the other part was a total lie; a year apart would be awful.
“What is it?” he asked, trying to be brave, but I knew he felt something bad coming.
Hot beads of water rolled down our bodies and the soap had rinsed away completely. I stood there before him, naked in so many ways, preparing to deliver news that I knew would change everything.
Before I began, I lowered my head, unable to look at him. If I did, I’d lose the courage to say these words. “I have to leave, Matt,” was all that would come out at first. It took me a moment to add, “I’m going to Johannesburg.”