Matt (The Cowboys) (9 page)

“I can’t sleep if Matt’s telling stories.”

“Would you like to hear a story about a little girl’s birthday party?” Matt asked Tess.

The child’s eyes brightened and she nodded.

“Ugh!” Noah said in disgust. “I don’t want to hear some dumb girl story about a birthday party.”

“I’ll talk very quietly,” Matt said, “so just Tess can hear.” Matt sat down on the bed, which sagged under his weight. “The little girl’s name was Jessica,” he began, “and she lived on a ranch far away from anybody.”

“Jessica is a sissy name,” Noah said, “even for a girl.”

“She had long blond hair, but it didn’t curl as prettily as yours does,” Matt continued, ignoring Noah. “She had blue eyes, but they weren’t clear and shiny like your eyes.”

“How old was she?” Tess asked.

“She was going to be four on her birthday.”

“I’ll be four on my birthday,” Tess said.

“I wouldn’t want a story about birthdays,” Noah said. “I’d want one about Indians killing—”

Ellen put her hand over his mouth.

“Jessica’s daddy had gone all the way to town to buy her a pretty new dress for her birthday,” Matt continued. “But that made her very sad.”

“Why?” Tess asked.

“Because what Jessica really wanted was a birthday party so all her friends could come and have a wonderful time.”

“Did she have a party?” Tess asked.

“You’ll have to wait to find out,” Matt said. “Jessica thanked her daddy for the dress. She loved him and didn’t want to hurt his feelings.”

Ellen pinched herself to keep from falling asleep. Sitting in the dark listening to the soothing sound of Matt’s voice made it hard not to give in to the fatigue that weighed down her whole body. Noah had already gone to sleep, curled up in a ball next to her, his head in her lap. Tess, sleep gradually overtaking her, lay next to Matt, two of his fingers held tightly in the grasp of her small hand.

What kind of man had she married? What about him had caused Tess to turn to him, a man she’d never met until today, rather than Ellen, the woman who’d practically been her mother for the last year? Matt was a cowboy, a man who broke wild horses, a loner who preferred the company of cows to people. Yet Tess had gone to him like a baby rabbit to its nest. What sort of magic enabled him to enchant Tess and command the allegiance of a boy like Toby?

Ellen lifted Noah’s head from her lap and settled him on his pillow. Matt eased off Tess’s bed. They covered both the children and tiptoed from the room. Thankfully the door closed without squeaking.

“How did you know a story would put her right to sleep?” Ellen asked.

“It always worked with Will.”

“Did you tell him stories about birthday parties?”

“No, but I didn’t tell him about Indians, either.”

“I’d like to meet him.”

“You will get your chance tomorrow.”

An awkward silence settled between them.

“We’d better get to bed,” Matt said.

He opened the door to the bedroom. She picked up the lamp, stepped inside, and immediately all feeling of lethargy left her body. Tension snapped like sparks along her nerve endings. Even though Matt stood several feet from her, she was achingly aware of his physical presence.

She went to the wardrobe, paused while she tried to remember where she’d put her nightgowns, then took out a blue flannel. It would probably be a little too warm for late spring, but the thick material made her feel safer. She didn’t understand herself. This morning Matt’s telling Tess a “dumb girl story” would have disgusted her. Now it increased his attractiveness even though it wasn’t a talent that would make him a more successful rancher or help him outwit Wilbur Sears.

She pulled herself together. She had to find a way to get ready for bed without having to undress in front of Matt. “Aren’t you thirsty?”

“I’m glad you thought of it. A long drink of water is exactly what I need. I’ll be outside. Let me know when you’re in bed.”

Ellen didn’t know how long he meant to wait, but he remained outside while she changed and washed her face and hands. She knocked on the door, then practically jumped into the bed.

“Tess is sleeping soundly,” Matt said when he entered the room. “Noah is still curled up in a tight ball.”

She was surprised he had thought to check on the children.

“How about Toby and Orin?” She was ashamed to admit she hadn’t remembered either boy until then.

“Toby is fast asleep, but Orin’s still awake. It’ll take him a while to settle down. Change upsets him.”

Matt turned down the wick in the lamp until it went out. Ellen heard him open and close a drawer in the wardrobe. “I’m sorry we had to move him out of his room,” she said.

“It was Wilbur Sears who upset him. He likes having Noah and Tess here. It would be good if you could give him a little attention, even a hug once in a while. He pretends he’s grown up like Toby, but he’s still young enough to miss his parents.”

She heard the soft sound of clothes dropping to the floor and had to try very hard not to picture Matt standing naked in the dark. Just the thought of it caused her to swallow hard.

“I’m not very good with boys,” she said. “I have more experience with men.” Not that she was very good with them, either. She had no idea what to do with a boy yearning for a woman’s touch… or a man who seemed not to need or want it.

“There must be some similarities.”

“I hope not, at least to the men I know.”

She felt the bed sag under Matt’s weight, and her breath caught. Had he had time to take off his long underwear and put on a nightshirt? The possibility that he had gotten into bed naked was too nerve-racking to consider.

“Why were you so uncomfortable when Tess took hold of your hand?” Now was a good time to ask him about that, anything to take her mind off his lying next to her.

“I’m not used to touching,” he said. “Boys don’t do it much.”

Something about the tightness in his voice hinted that there was more than unfamiliarity at work. She wondered what.

“You were right about Orin needing a hug once in a while. Children need touching to feel secure, especially girls.” But not grown women. The thought of him touching her practically scared her to death.

“Anything you want to tell me about today?” he asked.

“Like what?” She didn’t know where to begin. She was married. She’d promised to help him adopt Orin and protect Toby. She’d committed herself to sleep next to him. She didn’t know if she could survive that. Next to sharing his bed, everything else seemed easy.

“I know you didn’t want to marry me,” Matt said. “I want to make being here easier. Like I said before, if you have anything you want to change, let me know. I discuss everything with the boys, but we want you and the children to be happy.”

The sincerity in his voice touched her. She knew he had to be as uncomfortable as she was.

“We’ll get along all right. It’ll just take a little time to adjust.”

A silence ensued.

“You sure there’s nothing bothering you?” he asked.

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“Then good night.”

“Good night.”

She heard him turn, felt the mattress move as he shifted positions. He must have put his back to her. She wanted to reach out and be sure but didn’t dare. If she touched him, he’d probably think she wanted a whole lot more. Still, she had to know.

“Did you turn your back to me?”

“Yes. Why?”

“Nothing. I just wanted to know.”

She rolled onto her side, her back toward Matt. She couldn’t go to sleep if he was facing her, maybe staring at her while she slept. It was hard enough knowing he lay just a few inches away,
possibly naked.

But she found as she relaxed, as fear melted away to be replaced by the heaviness of fatigue, her awareness of his being so near became more intense. She tried hard to think about what she had to do tomorrow, how to make the children happy living on a ranch, how to get to know Orin better, even how to overcome her dislike of Toby.

But it didn’t work.

Nothing made her forget Matt lying within arm’s length. How could any woman calmly drop off to sleep knowing that? She thought of what Tulip said and turned warm all over. She had to forget Tulip’s comments. She needed sleep. She had to face her in-laws tomorrow.

Matt woke out of a dead sleep. Someone had hit him.

“You said you wouldn’t touch me,” Ellen said. She punched him in the chest. “You’re just like every other man. You’ll promise anything to get your hands on a woman.”

“What are you talking about?” he asked, struggling to understand what was going on.

She punched him once more before rolling out of bed. “I’m talking about you grabbing me the minute we fell sleep.”

He couldn’t see her expression in the dim light filtering through the window, but he saw her outline in the shadows, her hand clutched to her bosom, a blanket pulled around her to shield her body from his gaze.

“I didn’t touch you.” He couldn’t have. He didn’t even touch people in his adopted family unless he had to.

“You most certainly did. I knew I shouldn’t have let the sheriff talk me into sharing a bed with you. And he thinks you’re shy. You’re just as brazen as any other man.”

“I must have rolled over in my sleep.”

“Don’t think I’m going to believe
that
story. You can march right up to the loft and sleep with the boys.”

Matt didn’t know how to convince Ellen any touching had been innocent and accidental, but he did know their scheme would be ruined if they started sleeping in separate rooms. “We have to talk.”

“We’ll talk tomorrow when it’s light and I can watch your hands. Tonight you sleep in the loft.”

“I can’t.”

“Then I’ll sleep with Tess.”

“You can’t.”

“What are you going to do, pull me back into bed?” She backed closer to the door. “If you try, I’ll scream loud enough to be heard in Bandera.”

“Light the lamp.”

“I’m not staying in here with you.”

“If you leave this room, all four children will know something is wrong. One of them is bound to say something that will get back to Wilbur. If you really want to adopt Noah and Tess, you’ll listen to me.”

She remained motionless for several moments.

“I know you don’t trust me,” he said, “but I’m going to keep Toby and Orin if I have to tie you to this bed.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Don’t try me. Believe me when I say nothing is more important to me than those two boys.”

She struck a match and lit the lamp. She settled warily on the end of the bed, obviously ready to jump up at the slightest provocation. She kept the blanket pulled tightly around her. “I didn’t have to get married to get a woman into my bed. I got married so I could keep these boys. I’m not stupid enough to jeopardize that for a few seconds of juvenile fun.”

“You grabbed me.”

“Weren’t you asleep when it happened?”

“Yes, but—”

“So you don’t know exactly what I did. Look, I don’t deny I might have touched you, but I didn’t do it intentionally. I expect you’ll touch me before long.”

“I won’t.”

“Maybe not, but if you do, I promise not to jump to conclusions. Is it too much to ask you to do the same?”

He couldn’t tell if she was considering his proposal or preparing to walk out. Her shadowy silhouette remained motionless. “I don’t know what your experience has been, but not all men make a grab for the first female within reach.”

“I’ve seen you in the saloon,” she shot back. “You know that’s exactly what happens every night.”

“Have I ever made a grab for you?”

“No.”

“Or anyone else you know about?”

“No, but that doesn’t mean—”

“Do you know any Maxwell man who grabs at women in saloons?”

A pause. “No.”

“Do you know one of us who lies?”

“No.” The admission sounded reluctant.

“Everybody, even my family, says all I care about is my ranch and these boys. If that’s true, do you think I’m going to risk it all for a bit of a romp in bed?”

“No.” An even more reluctant admission.

“You don’t have to like me, but you can trust me.”

“It isn’t that I don’t like you.”

“You’re afraid I think what Eddie Lowell said is true.”

Silence.

“I believe you.”

“Why should you?”

“Because I know what it’s like when people tell lies about you.”

More silence.

“Look, we both want the same thing and have gone to unusual lengths to get it. Neither of us is willing to risk it foolishly. If I touch you, wake me up and I’ll move away. If I keep doing it, I’ll sleep on the floor. But you can’t leave this room. It would jeopardize what we both want.”

More silence. “Don’t you trust anybody?” he asked.