Memoirs of a Girl Wolf (28 page)

              Before I could say anything, he handed me two dead pheasants. I took hold of the birds by the nape of their broken necks and held them at eye level to examine. I found my voice and started to ask why I was holding dead animals.

              “I didn’t know if I should bring something,” he said, quickly.

              Rubbing my lips together I suppressed a laugh, and said, “Thank you.”

              He swung his arms back and forth awkwardly and took his time to step over the threshold and into the house. It took some coaxing on my part and reassurance that he was welcome and the gift was fine and thoughtful. Mom could surely find something to do with the birds, I thought. Finally, after peeking around me into the house, Phoenix walked in. As I began to lead him to the table where I could hear only silence which meant Mom’s fake chatter had fizzled into awkwardness, Phoenix grabbed my arm and hissed into my ear.

              “I’ve never really done holidays,” he said.

              I heard his heart pounding again and the, what I thought was, fear in his voice. It all seemed so silly to me to see him, the ferocious black wolf, terrified of a family holiday dinner, but I didn’t want to scare him away or make him feel more uncomfortable, so I took his hand and squeezed it slightly. To my surprise he didn’t jerk his hand away.

              “Sit next to me and you’ll be fine,” I whispered.

              I released hold of his hand and we walked together into the dining room where all four heads lifted to look at us. Mom stared horrified at the two dead birds in my hand and Reign cracked one of his warm smiles and extended his hand which was not taken by Phoenix. Instead, Phoenix transformed back into his cold self, and lifting his head, he pursed his lips and stared down, with slight disgust, at Reign’s hand.

              Mom tossed her napkin on to the table and stood. She walked over to me and took the birds thanking Phoenix and noting it was so nice for both guests to bring her something. She jokingly said she’d put the birds next to the tin of fudge. No one laughed except her. She turned and left the room leaving Reign, his hand retracted, still staring at Phoenix and Phoenix stood glaring back at Reign. My brothers bounced up down demanding to know who the stranger was.

              “Sit,” I told Phoenix smiling so hard and wide my cheeks hurt. I pointed to the chair on the other side of me then I turned to Reign and quickly thought of an explanation of how I knew Phoenix. “This is Phoenix he is a family friend.”

              Reign accepted this and went back to the food on his plate until my brothers chimed in, “No, he’s not. I’ve never met him.”

              “He is a new family friend for some of us,” I said, glowering at my brothers hoping they could tell by my strict tone to shut up.

              I could tell Reign was suspicious. The warmth in his face and eyes was fading and I felt like I had to do something fast, so I picked up Reign’s hand and leaned on him as I said to Phoenix, “And this is my boyfriend, Reign.”

              “Boyfriend,” Josh and Eric echoed while making kissing sounds by smacking their lips loudly.

              Phoenix didn’t respond. He was concentrating on piling his plate with food from every dish and then he gripped his fork and shoveled it into his mouth, not even chewing between bites. My brothers watched in awe and Reign watched a little uncomfortable. I once again felt like laughing mostly due to anxiety.

              Mom returned and resumed her position at the head of the table, pausing a moment as her eyes fell on Phoenix as he devoured another slice of ham.

              “Now, tell me Phoenix, what is I can do with those birds?” she asked.

              “I can show you,” Reign piped up. “My dad eats pheasants a lot when he’s working.”

              “And what does your dad do?” Mom asked.

              I noticed Phoenix pause in eating as he stared at Reign out of the corner of his eye waiting for Reign’s answer. I knew the answer would not be one Phoenix would be happy about, so I interrupted and changed the subject, “He’s retired. When are you going to retire, Mom?” Mom laughed and started going on and on about her job and how far off retirement was.

              I sighed, thankful, and Reign politely listened while Phoenix continued eating and my brothers continued watching Phoenix now turning their idolization from Reign on to him. Satisfied that maybe the rest of the dinner would go smoothly, I focused on my own plate and ate a little, but my appetite had long ceased.

              Phoenix remained silent through dessert and hot chocolate, but he did warm up a little, though it was undetectable in his appearance. He followed my brothers into the living room and put up with their obnoxious need to show off all their new gifts. I even heard them cheer Phoenix on as he evidently had tried driving the new motorized car.

              That left me, Mom and Reign in the dining room. Mom was, from what I could tell, liking Reign and she had slipped into a more candid and relaxed persona than the fake one she had adopted earlier when he first arrived.

              “It’s gonna be dark soon,” she said, suddenly as she started out the window at the sky then back at me with an intent stare.

              I knew Mom meant the comment for me and that Phoenix and I should be thinking about leaving, but I was unsure of how to get Reign to leave without sounding rude or explaining why it was time he go home. Mom left the two of us alone at the table and walked to the kitchen carrying dishes.

              Reign stood to help her but I stopped him. “That’s okay. I’ll help her in a minute,” I said. He sat back down and turned in his seat to look at me. It was the first time all afternoon we had gotten a chance to be alone. He reached forward and tucked my red hair behind my ear then kissed me softly and even after months of dating, his kisses still made my stomach flip.

              “It’s getting late,” Phoenix said from behind us.

              Reign’s hand fell from my cheek. Opening my eyes, I turned my head slightly to glare at Phoenix. I hoped his instincts could pick up on how unhappy I was with him at the moment.

              “Do you have to get going?” Reign asked, hopeful. “It was nice meeting you,” he added.

              “We both should get going,” Phoenix replied, only looking at me.

              Reign, confused, also looked at me, unsure who “we” was. I laughed nervously.

              “He needs a ride,” I said. “I should probably take him home.”

              “How’d you get here?” Reign asked, skeptical.

              “I walked,” Phoenix said.

              I laughed louder. “He’s kidding. His mom dropped him off and I told her I’d bring him home, so I’ll be right there. Meet me at the car, okay,” I said, nodding.

              Phoenix stood still for a moment then turned and left. I didn’t turn back to Reign until I heard the front door open and shut and my brothers whine that their new friend left.

              “I wanted you to come over for dinner tonight,” Reign said, taking my hand again.

              “Dinner? We just ate.”

              “And now it’s your turn to have dinner with my family. My grandparents are coming over. I want you to meet them,” he said.

              “I want to meet them to,” I said, and I really did, but it wasn’t going to happen at night, not anytime soon. I sighed, a shaky sigh, and avoided his ember eyes as I replied, “I don’t think I’ll make it in time for dinner. It’s an hour drive there and back and that’s if the roads are okay.”

              Reign’s face crumpled into a sad frown as he lowered his gaze and his hand went limp in mine, but he soon regained his composure and smiled; reassuring me that it was fine and we would work out another time.

              “But tell me one thing,” he said. “Who is this guy? Really?”

              Biting my lip, I quickly thought of something believable to say, “He really is a family friend. He knows my dad and I was hoping he could tell me about him. I don’t know that must seem silly.”

              “No, I get it. Why do you think I wanted to move back up here? I want to know more about my mom. If someone said they had information about her, I’d want to get to know them too, and it really is going to be dark soon and you shouldn’t be driving on snowy roads in the dark, so I’m gonna go,” he said, standing. “Is this guy safe? Like if the roads are too slick, you’d feel comfortable staying the night with him and his family?”

              “I think so,” I said, smiling not only at the irony, but also comforted by his concern when I should actually be the one concerned about his safety the stronger I became the more fragile he appeared.

              I walked him to the door and kissed him. My brothers appeared behind us whining that now Reign was leaving too. I stood in the doorway as I watched him walk toward the woods. I noticed how he walked at a fast pace, a pace almost equal to mine. He had always been an annoying slow walker. I had to drag my feet to keep from waling half a mile ahead of him. Where did his new speed come from?

              I didn’t have long to dwell on it because I heard Phoenix’s agitated breathing. I turned my head to the left to see him leaning against the car with his hands in his pockets waiting for me. I groaned, and stepped back inside to grab my coat, keys, and purse and then yelled at Mom that I was leaving. She appeared with rectangle plastic Tupperware of left overs and a smaller square plastic Tupperware of pecan and Michigan cherry pie. After I took hold of both Tupperware, she set Boggle on top and then patted my cheek and wished me a Merry Christmas.

              We were silent the entire drive. I tried filling the silence with Christmas music which he turned off before I had a chance to staring singing along. I threatened, mentally, that I’d pull the car over and make him walk the rest of the way, but I reminded myself it was Christmas and to be nice, but the longer I drove and we sat with the awkward silence festering between us the more I thought about how rude he was at lunch and for what reason? Reign was the sweetest, friendliest person I knew and to be so mean to him without any explanation made me mad, but I knew I couldn’t get mad so I focused on my breathing and clearing my mind. This caught Phoenix’s attention.

              “What?” he asked.

              I held up my finger for him to stop talking and said, “I’m clearing my mind.” He respected this and after parking the car at the dead end and trudging through the two acre pasture and then disappearing into the woods and walking five miles until reaching his cabin, I finally was calm enough to try to have a conversation with him.

              “Would it have killed you to be nice today?” I asked.

              “I brought pheasants,” he said. He pulled his white shirt over his head. Then he loosened his hair from the hair tie and ran his fingers through his shaggy dark hair.

              “I meant to my boyfriend. Why couldn’t you shake his hand at least,” I said.

              “I don’t like him.”

              “Why?” I said growing cross.

              “My instincts are telling me not to trust him,” he said. “Aren’t yours?”

              “No, my instincts are telling me that he is a wonderful person and a great kisser.”

              His lips curled in disgust as he shook his head and stepped away from me. “Look, the only other time I’ve felt like that around someone was a Hunter.”

              “What do you mean? Like a hunter who hunts for fun?” I asked, trying to disguise the change in my voice.

              “No, this isn’t your typical hunter that you think you know,” he paused then gathering some wood in the corner of the cabin he motioned for me to follow him and led me outside to the front where he directed me to sit in front of the fire pit he started tending to. We had started moving our training to outdoors since this provided me more room to transform. I sat on a log and waited for him to continue, but I knew I was weary of what he was going to say. I didn’t want to hear it, but also I already knew deep down because I had already met one of these not typical hunters.

              “It’s time for another history lesson,” he said as soon as the fire picked up and the pile of logs became enflamed with orange and yellow light. “Around the time our first ancestors came to be, a tribe of shamans in Paraguay, did the hocus pocus magic and summoned the Hunter—a warrior spirit that was breathed into man. Finally, the wolf had met its match. The Hunter has strength and speed like us and we were slaughtered. Hunters believe that we are wild, savages and unable to control ourselves. They see fit to kill us before we are able to kill them and kill us they do and will. There are a lot of them and sometimes difficult to spot because you could confuse one with an amateur hunter, but they are a serious threat. They have heightened senses like we do. They’re a super human, you could say. They work in partners, they track, they kill, they celebrate, it’s disgusting,” Phoenix said, staring into the fire. “And they’ve discovered how to become even more powerful by stealing a Morphic’s.”

              “How do they do that?”

              “If they eat the heart of a female wolf, they obtain her power and strength. Her ability to regenerate. Everything you are, they become, except for morphing. It doesn’t last a lifetime though. Every ten years or so they have to eat another heart. It only works if the heart is a females. Once they do, they’re almost impossible to defeat.”

              I stared silently into the fire, shocked.

              “When I was a kid two Hunters tracked and killed my mom. They broke into our home in the middle of the night and shot my dad with a silver bullet and then with a silver blade cut out my mom’s heart while I hid under the bed, helpless.”

              “What did you do?” I asked, quietly, near tears.

              “Wondered between packs for a while. Then met your dad and he . . .” Phoenix cleared his throat. His vulnerability, embarrassed him. “So about a year ago I found the hunters who killed my mom, and I decided to follow them closely to make sure another innocent female wolf doesn’t die. Last summer I heard them talking about moving up here because a girl wolf was about to awaken. When I told your dad what I had heard, he knew they were talking about you and he sent me here to mentor you and protect you until you can protect yourself.”

              “This is a lot to process. I don’t want to die,” I said, scared.

              “You’re not gonna die. Not as long as I’m here.”

              I was speechless. I remembered what Mom had told me. That wolves don’t live long and now I wondered if this was why I never knew my grandmother, the one I was named for, Michelle, had her heart been cut out and eaten? And what about Viktor? I wondered what kind of trouble he was in.

              “They can’t hunt us,” I said, “We’re human. I’m just a girl-a teenager. They can’t hunt a kid. They can’t cut out my heart! That’s so barbaric.”

              Phoenix shrugged as he threw a splintered stick into the fire. “To them we’re savage animals with no souls. They’re afraid of us because they can’t understand who we are. That’s how it’s always been. You can’t even trust other packs. Everyone’s out to get you. That’s why I’m a lone wolf. In the end you can only trust yourself.”

              “Oh, great. That makes me feel real safe,” I said.

              “You can trust me,” he smirked. “I trust me so you can trust me, but back to your boyfriend . . .”

              “He’s not a Hunter,” I said, quickly then added. “What do you do to them? To Hunters?”

              “Eliminate them before they eliminate us. It’s not a fair world, Mickey. We’re all just doing our best to survive,” He said, still staring at the flickering hot flames.

              “Is that what you did to the Hunters you followed here?” I asked.

              “No, I lost their scent. They keep moving. I don’t know. They have new tricks to keep us off their scent . . . but I will find them. I’ll get them before . . .”

              “Yeah,” I said, knowing what he meant. “Look, you can trust me too and I’m telling you, Reign is a good guy,” I said this more for myself than anything. I had to hold on to this and believe it because I knew what his father did and after hearing what Phoenix had to say. I was scared. I couldn’t tell Phoenix because I was worried he would harm Reign and I wasn’t even for sure. Orgon could be just an amateur hunter. I didn’t know. I didn’t have proof that he hunted wolves like me. According to the deer head, mounted on their living room wall, he hunted all types of animals . . . or Morphics,—all I had was that nagging instinct that Phoenix told me to trust and all of this made my emotions bubble and escalate. I forgot about breathing deeply, I forgot about clarity and before I knew it my blood was pulsing, hot, my stomach tightened and my bones ached as I heard something pop and soon I was on all fours staring at Phoenix who stared back at me with his mouth open in surprise and his hands up as he shushed me.

              I could see clearly. I could hear even clearer. I felt light and free and as if I was floating. I felt amazing. I wanted to run and jump and fly and then I heard another pop and I was on the ground with my face in the snow. I groaned and rolled over.