Memoirs of a Girl Wolf (31 page)

Read Memoirs of a Girl Wolf Online

Authors: Xandra Lawrence

I didn’t want her to leave though. With her gone, I’d be completely alone in the house. I dropped her off at the bus station where she bought a ticket for Detroit to catch a flight to Johannesburg, and then I found myself driving back down the lane toward an empty house. At least, I could stop going to the cottage, but I still didn’t like the being alone and the quietness of the house made me miss my family, especially my brothers. I tried calling my grandparents, but the phone rang unanswered.

After the second attempt, I called Reign who was slightly surprised I was inviting him over so late. He realized for the first time that in our months of dating we had never spent time together after dark. He could tell in my voice that I was upset, so he came over and it didn’t take him long. I waited for him on the steps leading to my front door and when I saw him emerge from the trees, I stood and ran to greet him.

Hugging him tightly, I rested my head on his chest and I told him Mom had left, though I didn’t go into detail why. I told him how alone I felt in the house. He replied that he would stay as long as I needed him to.

He took my hand and started leading me back into the house, but I paused for a second, certain that I had seen a black wolf hiding behind the tall tree a few feet from us, but then I decided even if I had, I didn’t care.

The next couple weeks, Reign stayed with me until I fell asleep. I didn’t know if he slept too or how late he stayed, but he was always gone when I woke up. Then by seven twenty he would appear again in his red truck ready to take me to school. Soon it was mid-February, Mom had been gone for two weeks, and construction paper hearts decorated the hallways of school. An announcement was made that the school would throw a Valentines dance, but I didn’t want go and Reign didn’t seem very interested either. I started thinking of alternative ideas. Reign was my first boyfriend, so this was my first Valentine’s Day and I wanted it to be special especially to make up for how distant I was during the time I had spent my nights with Phoenix.

The morning before Valentine’s Day, I slipped into the girls bathroom before lunch and called the City Park Grill to make reservations. It was going to be a surprise for Reign. The bar was the same bar Hemmingway used to eat at, and the one Reign mentioned we should go to sometime the first day he drove me home from school in the fall.

After securing a reservation for the next night, I met Reign, who was leaning so far forward into his locker his head wasn’t visible. Once I approached him, I realized he was whispering on his phone, but when he noticed me he ended the conversation and slipped the phone into the front pocket of his back pack before grabbing his brown paper lunch bag and shutting the metal locker.

“Everything okay?” I asked as I tried to sense his emotions.

“My dad just called to tell me there’s been another attack.”

“Someone you know?” I asked.

“No, but really close to where my grandparents live, so at first we were worried it was one of them, but they’re okay. Dad’s getting really frustrated that they haven’t caught the wolf.”

“Oh, is it a wolf?”

“Definitely” Reign said.

My stomach dropped. Although it wasn’t me, I still felt connected to the animal whether it was another Morphic or just a normal wolf, but then again if it was hurting people then something needed to be done. I laughed wryly, confused and frustrated. I thought it was ironic that other teenagers weren’t dealing with such problems, and all I could do was laugh, but then I covered my mouth, ashamed, and apologized to Reign.

 

When he dropped me off at home that afternoon, we found, unfortunately, Phoenix standing on the front steps waiting for me. He stood with his hands folded behind his back. His head raised, and green eyes narrowed. He focused on us as we arrived. Although I had smelled him as we drove up the lane, I didn’t want to believe he’d actually be there. For some time now I had smelled his, and I just assumed he was staying somewhat close in the woods behind my house. I figured he was hoping I’d eventually, sometime soon, decide to talk to him, but I wasn’t changing my mind. I guess he felt like it was time we talked.

I smiled at Reign, apologetically, but he kept his eyes locked on Phoenix who stood staring, coldly right back.

“Did you know he was going to be here?” Reign asked.

I shook my head. “He might have news about my dad. Do you mind?”

Reign smiled. “No, I get it. Call me, and I’ll come over later,” he said, then leaned forward and kissed me on top of my head.

Walking up to Phoenix, I kept my arms crossed and avoided eye contact. In place of a friendly greeting, I sighed in an annoyed long exhale, so that he knew I was still unhappy with him. We stood, a few feet apart, waiting until we could no longer hear the roar of the red truck before speaking.

“I’m not going to apologize,” Phoenix said. “I did what I felt was needed for you and look how much you’ve grown.”

“Why are you here?” I asked.

“There’s been another attack,” Phoenix said.

“I know. Still not me,” I said.

“We’ve got a serious problem. If it’s not you or me, there’s another wolf in the woods.”

I agreed and I thought I had an idea who: the white wolf, but something didn’t make sense to me. “Why would a wolf attack me though if I’m one too?”

“Not all wolves live in peace, Mickey. Don’t be naïve. Being a female wolf, there are certain packs who see you as a threat and will eliminate you,” Phoenix said.

“Me? What?”

“I told you. Female wolves can grow, if able to see their full potential, to be extremely powerful. There are some packs who don’t want that.”

“Great more people who want me dead. What pack do you belong to?” I was starting to realize I knew almost nothing about his past or even his connection to Viktor.

“I don’t belong to a pack. I told you I’m a lone wolf,” he replied.

“How do you know my dad then?”

“Everyone knows your dad. He’s a supreme wolf. He travels around to maintain peace as best he can. But there are many who don’t want peace. It’s a mess really. The wolves are pretty divided and there aren’t many packs you can trust then the Hunters keep a lot of us in hiding. It has caused a very serious mess among us and your dad is trying to mend it as best he can. I guess your dad hopes that because hunters pose a threat to all of us we can at least come together in opposition to them . . .”

“Okay, so what this wolf wants to kill me? Is it Morphic like us then?” I asked.

-
        
              “I don’t know, but you’re still vulnerable and now is not a good time to cut your ties with me,” he said.

-
        
              I sighed and nodding my head I started walking to the Toyota. “Let’s go, we have some time to make up for.”

“Wait,” he said. Staring straight ahead into the woods. He raised his head and sniffed.

“What?” I asked.

He relaxed. “I thought I recognized a scent. I guess it was nothing. Let’s go.”

 

When I returned from a night at the one room cabin, training, I found Reign sitting on the front stop of my cabin holding a dozen roses. It was Valentine’s Day and he was waiting to take me to school. He didn’t bother standing when I drove up to the house and parked the car. He knew already in his mind that I was guilty of whatever it was he thought to accuse me of. I walked with my lips shut tight and tense as I sloshed through the puddles of melting snow.

              I came to a stop a few feet from him and ran my fingers through my long, red hair as I waited for him to speak.

              “I couldn’t find you,” he said.

              “I’m sorry,” I apologized. “Are those for me?” I pointed to the fresh flowers. My gift to him was a surprise, but I realized that that didn’t matter and it didn’t matter to tell him now because from the frown on his face, I knew we wouldn’t be going anywhere together anytime soon.

              “Where were you?”

              I was speechless. I couldn’t lie to him and he knew anyway looking at my face. I had hesitated too long because I didn’t know how to explain to him—to make him understand without confessing to him about the part of myself I kept hidden, so instead I looked at him with tears in my eyes. The only sound I was able to make was a croaking in my throat.

              “Did you stay the night with him?” Reign asked, avoiding my eyes.

              “Okay, it’s not like that,” I said, reaching for him as he stood and threw the flowers on the ground. He walked past me and headed for the woods. I trailed after him. “Wait,” I yelled.

              He stopped and waited like I had demanded. His hands were balled into fists and his grey eyes were blurred with warm tears that he didn’t bother hiding from me. I had hurt him and I didn’t need his face to tell me. I could feel his heart breaking right along with my fear that I had lost him and even though he waited, begged me silently to say something that would help him understand, I still found myself speechless. I couldn’t tell him, especially with my assumptions that his father was a Hunter. I couldn’t put my life in danger, but not just my life I would be putting Phoenix’s as well. I stopped following him, rubbed my lips, and hung my head. Once he realized I wasn’t going to stop him, he continued forward into the woods until I could no longer see him.

              Gathering strength even though my legs felt wobbly and my chest tightened, I moved through a suffocating daze toward the front door. I stopped and fell to the ground. I picked up the long stem red roses. The petals of many of the flowers had fell free from the stems and floated in the muddy puddles of half melted grey snow. My dripping tears created ripples in the puddles as my entire world caved in on itself, and the light that had kept me warm and full this past year, extinguished.

28

              He was gone. At first, I decided to give him some space, partly because I didn’t know what to say yet. I thought surely after a day or two he would be ready to talk. I knew he was upset, so I wasn’t surprised when he stopped picking me up for school in the mornings. I assumed he was avoiding me at school because I didn’t run into him in the hallways or at my locker. He must have been skipping classes because his chair was empty class we shared together.

              I looked for him at lunch, but could never find him. The school wasn’t big, I couldn’t figure out how he was capable of avoiding me so well.

              By the end of the week, I decided if he wasn’t going to talk to me then I would I talk to him, so after school I walked over to his house and found his house dark and the lane empty of any type of truck. I thought maybe they were just gone for the afternoon, but I went back every day before and after school and found the same scene. He was gone and I had no inkling where he had gone off too.

              I tried sensing him, but nothing.

              Mom was gone, my brothers were gone, and now Reign was gone and I was miserable. I spent most of time at Phoenix’s. Once school let out, I didn’t even go back home. I drove right out to the one room cabin and did my homework in the arm chair until dark.

              By the end of February, Reign had missed two weeks of school. I hoped he would come back soon. They didn’t move, that I could tell, and the school wouldn’t be okay with him missing so many days. I firmly believed he would return soon. I waited every morning by our lockers right up to the bell for him to walk through the front doors.

              I was waiting for him one Friday morning with my back pressed against his locker and my attention glued on the glass doors that students streamed through in loud crowds when I felt someone standing next to me, watching me intently.

              I turned a little to my left and lifted my gaze to find Max peering down at me. He stepped closer to me and played with the ends of my hair until I pulled the red strands free from his hold.

              “I was wondering if you’d like to go see a movie tonight,” Max said, not taking any notice to my irritation.

              I turned my attention back to the doors. “No,” I said.

              He moved around me; blocking my view of the doors with his hulky frame and broad shoulders. Leaning forward, he touched my lips and pulled on a strand of hair that had evidently gotten stuck in my lip-gloss. That did it for me. I dropped my bag to the ground and pushed him aggressively against the lockers, pinning his arms to his side, and raising myself up to look directly into his eyes.

              “Don’t touch me,” I snarled. I released him and as I did, he immediately rubbed his wrists which were red from my grip. He looked at me in shock as he backed away from me and disappeared down the hall.

              “Crazy, bitch.” I heard him say.

              Once I could no longer see him, I picked up my bag at my feet and threw the thick strap over my shoulder. I nodded, satisfied that I had taken care of my Max problem, hopefully, and giving up on Reign for the morning, I turned away from the lockers and headed to class just as the bell rang.

 

              Phoenix hated weekends for the sole reason that he couldn’t get rid of me. When I showed up at his door that Friday afternoon he greeted me with a scowl which I was use to by now. I pushed past him into the cabin. I dropped my duffle bag to the floor which contained clothes, food, and homework to get me through until Sunday. Phoenix, recognizing my weekend bag, groaned and pouted.

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