Memoirs of a Girl Wolf (35 page)

              My heart rate increased at the mention of Mom. “Is she okay?
              “She’s fine. She just touched down in Detroit and she’ll be home tonight. She seems to have found that magic drink she has been so long searching for,” Viktor said with a half-smile.

              “It won’t work,” Phoenix said.

              “I assure you it will. It may also cause some memory loss.” Viktor said, tapping his head with his right index finger.

              “How do you know?” I asked.

              “I’m the one who told her where she could find it. I finally caved, but I feel that you are sixteen. You have spent the last months training and you deserve to choose for yourself, if you want to continue with this life or go back to your old one. That’s not a choice your mother or I can make for you.” Viktor stood from the chair. “But if you do choose this life then you need to leave with us tonight. We will be waiting in the north east part of the woods back here until midnight.”

              I watched them both walk out of the room and toward the front door. I followed behind them until we were all outside. I came to a stop. Viktor paused after walking down the front steps he turned back partially and looked at me then the right of me at the water reflecting bright light of the blue surface.

              “If I don’t see you tonight, I’m glad I was able to see you even if only for a short time. The pictures your mother shows me hardly equate to seeing you breathing before me. I do wish your brothers had been here.” He dipped his head and smiled. “Your mother says they take after me some. My hair was once the same shade as theirs.” He raised his head and looked at me for confirmation.

              He had made himself vulnerable and given me the ability to validate him and I, still angry and resentful, wanted to crush him. “I hardly say they look anything like you,” I said, adopting his tone. I sounded so vile, so cruel. His dazzling blue eyes flickered and dimmed as he did his best to keep his composure. I was swarmed with guilt and regret, but I didn’t apologize. I didn’t know how.

              Phoenix shot me a look of disappointment and disgust which made me feel even worse. I grabbed hold of the wooden railing to support me because I wavered under Phoenix’s hard, glowing yellow green eyes which I avoided by staring up at the pale blue sky above until I heard them start walking away from the house. I followed them with my eyes as their footsteps sped up and grew muddy due to how wet with melting snow the ground was.

Phoenix walked a little ahead of Viktor. A few feet from the woods he dropped to all fours and morphed into a wolf. Viktor followed suit, and I stood completely perplexed as right before my eyes was the great big white wolf, but only for a few seconds because he, like the black wolf, soon disappeared among the tall trees.

              Uncertain of what to do next, I stood for a few minutes on the front steps staring at the dark woods. All that ran through my mind was the understanding that Viktor was the white wolf. The wolf who killed Reign’s mom twelve years ago and didn’t that make sense? That was why he had to leave. I thought this for sure, but then I reminded myself that if I had learned anything over the past few months, it was that nothing is ever certain. The mother you trusted could lie to you, the best friend you have had since grade school could ditch you, the boy you love could also be your fatal enemy, and the father who you thought was dead could show up on a spring afternoon very much alive. Oh, and you could find out one day you’re a Morphic wolf, but Viktor’s visit wasn’t all bad. He gave me something. He gave me a choice.

              Finally, someone was giving me the permission to make a decision about my own life. For so long everyone had been telling me what to do instead of asking, and because I was so used to being told, having a choice was overwhelming. What if I chose wrong? What if I stayed a wolf and left at midnight, and then had to live my life like Phoenix in a dumpy one room cabin and move every few months, alone. But what if I took the drink. Could I go back to my old life? Would it be that easy? I was so different, so much stronger, confident, and not to mention in my wolf state how I felt so free and sure that this was who I was always meant to be. If I denied that, would I be dull and weak again? Insecure and uncomfortable in my own skin while striving for stupid stuff like popularity?

              Sighing heavily, I went back into the house and trudged up the stairs to my room where I sat at my desk with my feet tucked under me as I tried wasting time on the internet. Everyone on social media was posting about prom. The dance would start in the next few hours. I slanted my eyes toward my closet and caught a glimpse of the full length ivory gown that was wrapped in clear plastic hanging from a pink hanger in my closet.

              Seeking a much needed distraction from this choice I was wrestling with, I went to my closet and pulled the dress off the hanger. I ripped it free from the plastic and held it in front of my by the thin straps. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to just try it on. I changed into the dress and then I brushed my hair and applied mascara and dark liner under my eyes. I rubbed my lips with lip balm. Stepping back from the mirror, I surveyed myself. The gown was beautiful against my pale skin. It billowed out from my hips and almost covered my feet which I slipped into black heels and now I was all dressed. I didn’t want to go to the prom, but I thought back to Reign’s request earlier in the afternoon. I decided maybe we owed each other one dance after all.

              Lifting the gown up, I ran out of my room and down the stairs; out of the house and into the woods. I ran so fast my feet barely touched the ground which thankfully kept my shoes and bottom of the dress from tracking muddy water. When I broke through the woods on his side, I came to a stop and stared up at his window which was open.

              I knew, with his heightened senses like mine that his hearing was just as impeccable, so I said his name in a normal tone and soon he was looking out of his window and at me with a bright smile and warm black eyes. He didn’t have to say anything and I didn’t wait for him to. I ran forward and into his house and toward his room where he stood holding his door open

              “Still up for that dance?” I asked. His smile was so contagious, that I couldn’t stop beaming back at him.

“I feel a little under dressed,” he said.

“You should.” I twirled around him. My long gown spun around my legs.

“You look beautiful,” He said and pulled me toward him. We ignored everything that had transpired between us in the last few weeks. It was just the two of us again in love and interfused and I clung on to this because I was terrified of losing him again even though I knew in my heart and in my mind that depending on the choice I made I may lose him. Where was my loyalty? It was something I had struggled with since I first found out about myself. I wanted to make everyone happy, but in the process I had hidden from myself what I needed to do for my happiness and wasn’t that most important?

He released his hold of me and turned on his music. We swayed back and forth as the orange sun set and the night creeped over the sky. He held me close with my head under his chin and pressed to his chest. I listened of his quick heart beat which had changed over the past months. I knew it was Hunter’s blood pumping through him and growing stronger, but I didn’t want to think about that, not right now. Right now I was a sixteen year old with my boyfriend enjoying prom, kind of. I lifted my head from his hard chest and looked up at him with a slight smile. He looked down at me, smiling, as well. I wished we could stay like that forever: just me and him in our own little world. I wanted to be selfish. Why couldn’t I be? I wanted him and a normal life. I never asked to be a wolf and carry on my ancestry. I never wanted it. I wanted him.

Yes, I made a decision. He lowered his head and kissed me as if he had seen the flicker in my eye that I had chosen him, but then suddenly a sharp pain in my heart seized me and a desperate call echoed through my head. I pulled away from Reign and looking out the window I breathed, “Phoenix.”

Reign released his hold of me. He stepped back in disgust. “Seriously?”
              “No.” I held my hand up to silence him as I listened harder to the sounds of the woods. The pain took hold of my again and chocked me. “He’s hurt.”

Then a door slammed below us and Orgon’s thunderous footsteps vibrated through the house and up the stairs. He called to his son. “I got it. I got the dog.”

Reign and I looked at each other and in a second I flew from his room, jumping out the window and falling to the wet ground. I took off in a sprint into the woods with my ivory dress and fiery red hair flowing behind me. I knew father and son were close behind me. A Hunter can run sometimes as fast as a wolf, and with Reign’s youth and Orgon’s experience, I knew they were fast.

With my nose in the air and my mind on the pain, I tracked Phoenix’s scent and finally found him in a heap on the wood floor with his hind leg trapped, broken and bloody. He lifted his head at me and rolled on to his back, happy to see me.

“I’m here,” I said and ran over to him. I stroked his fur before tending to the trap which I tried prying open though the silver burned my hands. I yelped in pain.

“I don’t know,” I said, near tears. I was growing frustrated, but my frustration was soon replaced with fear as I heard Orgon and Reign come to a stop a few feet from me and Phoenix. I stood and turned to face them.

“You really don’t want to piss me off,” I snarled at Orgon who stood in awe as he realized I had been a wolf this whole time.

“This is rather disappointing,” he said looking at Reign then me. “To think my son has been going around with something like you.” He started to laugh. “I thought . . . I had my suspicions about you, but I kept telling myself that my son wouldn’t have anything to do with a thing like you. But of course it’s you: the female wolf we came here for.”

Reign didn’t say anything. He stayed silent caught between his father and me.

“You can make it up to me, son,” he said. He handed the gun to Reign, “Shoot him, and for her,” Orgon pulled a silver blade from his belt, “we’ll take her heart.”

Reign shook his head still speechless. He pushed the gun away from him, but Orgon held it in place and shoved it into his son’s hands.

“You’re either the hunter or the hunted, boy, which are you going to be?” Orgon said in a gruff voice. But when Reign still didn’t act, Orgon sighed in disapproval and tried taking the gun back.

They struggled and then

BANG

My eyes shut.

I was shot.

I was.

I could smell the blood, but placing my hands over my stomach was relieved to find no whole or warm blood seeping from me, but I could smell the blood and feel the wound. It was someone else. It was someone I loved or else I wouldn’t feel it, but who? Reign or Phoenix one of them was dying.

Oh, God
.

I opened my eyes and looking down to my right, Phoenix whimpered with his eyes closed, but surveying his body, I didn’t see any wound which was disguised by his coarse black fur until the thick blood started tricking on to crumpled yellow daffodils under him.

I was furious. As the smell of his blood overwhelmed me, I barred my teeth and growled.

“I warned you,” I snarled. Growling, I lunged at the two Hunters: one pointing a gun at me and the other watching me with pleading ember eyes.

Black out.

33

The engine of a roaring truck woke me. I opened my eyes slowly, hurt all over, and confused. Above me I saw a canopy of dark leaves and bent branches highlighted by yellow moonlight that found its way through the looming trees until the trees were replaced with blue sky. The sound of the engine cut off.

I rolled onto my side, wincing. Inches away from me was Phoenix. He was sitting up holding on to his stomach as blood tricked between white fingers.

“Phoenix,” I said, raising myself up into a sitting position.

Before I could crawl over to him, someone jumped into the bed of the truck and grabbed hold of me. Digging my fingers into the pink flesh of the hairy arms around me, I kicked my legs and cried out, but I calmed down as soon as I was set down. Whirling around, I saw that the person who had grabbed hold of me was Viktor. He pushed me aside and grabbed hold of Phoenix who he gingerly carried in his arms from the truck to the house. I was surprised to see Mom standing in the doorway with her hand to her throat as she stared at us. Her eyes were wide with alarm.

“Where’s Reign,” I asked, spinning around. The last thing I remembered was lunging at both him and his father. Did I . . .

Nobody responded. Mom stepped out of the way and touched Viktor’s face with her hand as he passed her entering the house and then Mom followed behind him, shutting the door and I was left, ignored and forgotten, in the front of the house by the truck which I realized was Reign’s.

My heart quickened and squeezed. I grabbed my head in my hands and shut my eyes trying to focus and sense him. I had killed him. I knew it. I knew I did. Where else could he be? I couldn’t feel him.

This couldn’t be happening.

My knees buckled. I fell to the ground in tears. I was a monster, a beast, an evil, boyfriend murdering beast, and then the passenger side of the truck opened. Reign jumped out of the truck.