Merger (Triple Threat Book 3) (8 page)

He laughed, clearly amused at her expense. “I can guarantee you that’s not an option on the table.”

She shrugged again. “I don’t care what you do. I don’t care about you at all.” As she moved up the stairs to the room she had claimed as her own, she repeated the words quietly to herself. If she said them often enough, she might not only start to believe them, but actually feel them too. Because right now, she did care. She cared more than she should have, especially considering the circumstances of their marriage. She wanted so desperately not to care, and that was the goal she was working toward. Eventually, when she told him she didn’t care, she planned to mean it.

***

He slipped in her bed that first night, seeming not to believe what she had told him. Lilly refused to look at him, though she didn’t resist his physical advances. In fact, she responded with her own. She just did her best to maintain an emotional distance, so it was easier to avoid eye contact. At one point, as he was entering her, he put his hands on her face, and their gazes locked. She saw his head start to bend, and he was clearly intent on kissing her.

She closed her eyes and turned her head away with a painful wrench, forcing his lips to land in her hair instead. “No kissing,” she said again, the only words she uttered throughout the entire event. Afterward, she rolled away from him and turned her back to him, and he soon left her room. She tried to embrace the hollowness inside, wanting to eliminate any emotions, good or bad, at least when it came to Dominic. She didn’t want to turn into a cold, numb zombie with everyone. Just with him.

That night set the tenor, and though Dominic came to her bed frequently over the next week, she didn’t speak, and she didn’t make eye contact. The sex was physically satisfying, but emotionally bereft. She suspected he was feeling it too, because he started coming less frequently in the middle of the night. When he had been coming every night or every other night into her room, it started to become every three or four days. She was happy with that turn of events, or at least tried to convince herself she was. Having the kind of sex they’d been having was worse than having none at all, and there certainly was no lovemaking involved. Not that she wanted there to be with him, because loving Dominic was the last thing she wanted to do.

Almost a month after their changed relationship had begun, Lily met her father for lunch. She was concerned about him the moment she saw him. He looked pale, and he had lost some weight. His normally dark hair, only interspersed with an occasional sprinkle of gray, seemed to have gone mostly gray in the last two weeks since she had seen him. The bags under his eyes spoke for themselves, telling her how little sleep he was getting.

As she approached the table to meet him, she bent down to give him a hug, wincing at how frail he felt. He hadn’t lost that much weight, but it seemed to be more of an emotional frailty than physical. She pressed a kiss to his cheek before sliding into the seat across from him. “You look awful, Dad.”

He summoned the ghost of a smile. “You look pretty bad yourself, kiddo.”

She winced, but didn’t deny it. Like him, she had lost weight, and she had trouble sleeping, both on the nights Dominic chose to come to her bed, and the nights he didn’t. Trying to distance herself from him and maintain an emotional ice wall was taking its toll on her. She shrugged her shoulders. “Gotta do what you gotta do, right, Dad?”

His lips compressed, and he looked like he might argue for a minute before his shoulders slumped in defeat. “Yeah. Tell Dominic,” he practically spat out the other man’s name in disgust, “That everything has been handled.”

She leaned closer, not wanting to be overheard. “What did you do, Dad?”

“I removed evidence and subverted the investigation wherever possible. My successor could spend years chasing the trails and not find enough to bring down the Rinaldi family.”

A surge of relief swept over her, though she wasn’t entirely certain if it was because her father had done what Dominic wanted without any violence being involved, or perhaps it was even a hint of relief for the Rinaldi family as a whole, knowing they wouldn’t face prison. Despite her emotional distance with Dominic, she had gotten closer to her sisters-in-law over the intervening weeks, since Dominic’s mother insisted on weekly family dinners. The only one absent from those was Amber, who apparently still wasn’t speaking to her parents after learning they had lied to her all her life about her parentage. Lily didn’t know the full story, but had heard enough to piece together that Avriella wasn’t her birth mother, but hadn’t voluntarily told Amber that.

Abruptly, something her father and said caught her attention, and she frowned. “What do you mean, your successor?”

“I’m retiring, honey. I can’t do my job anymore, not in good conscience. It’s the only alternative I have.”

She reached across the table to squeeze her dad’s hand, hating how broken he looked. She didn’t try to persuade him to change his mind, or try to talk him out of it. It was obvious there was no point, because he was resolved. “I’m sorry about you being forced into this, and I feel awful that I didn’t recognize I was being manipulated. I should have known a man like Dominic would have an ulterior motive for approaching me. I’m not exactly supermodel material, but I guess I was flattered, and I didn’t use any common sense.”

Her father squeezed her hand in return. “Rinaldi’s the fool for not actually falling in love with you, sweetie. He would be a lucky man to have you, and he’s the one who’s not worthy of you.”

She nodded. “I know. I just wish I’d been more practical instead of getting caught up in the fantasy he spun. He was the worst thing that ever happened to us.”

Her father stilled for a moment, and then nodded before taking a long drink of ice water. “He is the worst thing that’s ever happened to us. Maybe it won’t have to continue for long.”

She liked her father’s optimism, and she hoped he was right. Now that he had fixed the investigation so that it would be difficult, if not impossible, to bring down the Rinaldis, and her father was retiring, there was no reason to hold her as a bargaining chip.

She might be able to convince Dominic that it was time to dissolve the marriage. Her heart skipped a beat at the idea, and she assured herself it was simply from excitement at the idea of finally being free of Dominic. The love she’d felt for him had withered and died.

Of course it had, because she had ruthlessly sought that goal and pruned every bud of emotion as it tried to bloom. Being free of him was a thrilling prospect, so why did she suddenly feel a different kind of aching numbness inside, completely unfamiliar and nothing like the void she had deliberately cultivated over the last weeks?

It was a disquieting sensation that led to thoughts she didn’t want to explore. She forced them aside and focused on her father instead, telling herself she was looking forward to being free of Dominic Rinaldi and their sham marriage. Any other response would make her a pathetic weakling, and she’d done her best to shed any traces of that Lily over the intervening weeks since she had met Dominic in Mexico.

“Ease up there, Dominic,” said Luka.

He ignored his brother’s advice as he slammed his fist into the already-bruised face of the loan shark who had been skimming profits.

“We already decided he wasn’t worth killing,” said Roman in a mild tone, as though he didn’t care much either way. “If you’ve changed your mind, it’ll be considerably less messy if you just shoot him and be done with it.”

Annoyed with his brother’s admonishments, and enjoying the release of tension that came with pummeling the other man, he allowed himself two more swings of his fist before dropping Lenny onto the floor of the bar. This wasn’t Triple Threat. It was a seedy little neighborhood bar where Lenny was the big turd in a small bowl, and he thought he’d be safe here, going to ground after realizing the Rinaldi brothers knew he’d been stealing from them.

As soon as the three of them had stepped inside, the few patrons had scattered, and the bartender had disappeared into the back room. Lenny had quickly realized he had no friends among the lowlifes with whom he associated, and he’d tried to talk his way out of a beat-down. Then he’d tried to buy his way out, offering to repay the money he’d skimmed three times over, but Dominic hadn’t been in the mood to accept strictly monetary compensation for the betrayal.

He kicked Lenny lightly in the ribs, reassured that the other man was still alive by the way he groaned and curled in on himself. “You don’t fuck with us, Lenny. Leave the money you owe us, and get out of town, or I won’t be so generous next time.”

Luka knelt down beside the other man, not touching him when he said, “You can have a night to recover from your near-death experience though. Be gone by tomorrow, Lenny.”

The other man nodded and whimpered as he held himself in a fetal position. He was probably going to really need more than a day to recover from the beating Dominic had administered, but that wasn’t Dominic’s problem. He wanted Lenny out of sight and out of the city before he changed his mind about being merciful.

They left Lenny on the floor, and the three of them approached the bar. There was still no sign of the bartender, so Roman hopped on the counter and went behind it, grabbing a bottle of top shelf liquor and three shot glasses before returning to the other side of the bar, where he took a stool on Dominic’s other side. Dominic took the glass he was offered, tossing back the shot as though it was water, though it burned his throat all the way down. It was just what he needed after the adrenaline surge of beating on Lenny.

“You’ve been a real bastard lately,” said Luka, sounding affable.

Dominic glared at him. “Give me another.” He tapped his glass on the bar so Roman would know what he meant. When he had a full shot glass again, he sipped this time. He didn’t want to lose control and get blind, stinking drunk. Not since he planned to go home and have emotionally empty sex with his wife.

He scowled at himself, hating that he could even think that. Since when did he give a fuck about an emotional connection with the woman he banged? It shouldn’t matter if it was his wife, or some random one-night stand. He had sex, and he did it to get off, not to get some sense of emotional fulfillment or connection with his partner. He wasn’t the sap that his brothers were, having turned to goo upon falling in love with their wives.

He stiffened and quickly forced his thoughts away from that path. He didn’t want to even think about loving Lily. That would be a doomed endeavor, because she was as stubborn and coldhearted as he was. He was actually reluctantly impressed at how long she’d held out, and how well she maintained distance between them. He was also frustrated as hell, and he was certain he’d been doing more than his fair share of snapping at his brothers and being a general asshole.

“We’ve both been there,” said Luka as he clapped his hand on Dominic’s shoulder. “You remember what a mess I was when Abby came back into my life, and I found out about Lukas.”

Dominic nodded sullenly, looking at his whiskey and not his brothers. He wasn’t in the mood for a heartfelt conversation, but apparently they didn’t care what he was in the mood for. This was beginning to feel disturbingly like an intervention.

“I think I had it easy with Sarah,” said Roman. “Once I realized I was falling for her, and I decided to let it happen, things just clicked into place.”

Dominic glared at his brother. “I’m not falling for Lily. She’s a means to an end, and nothing else.”

Roman snorted softly, looking unconvinced. “You should just have sex with her and get it over with, man. You’ll feel a lot better once you have that outlet, since it’s nothing emotional. I mean, you don’t love her or anything,” he said in a mocking fashion.

Dominic glared at his other brother. “We have sex.”

Roman arched eyebrow. “Really? I figured she’d cut you off, and that’s why you’re such a bastard lately.”

Luka shot Roman a look that Dominic read as repressive. He sounded more sympathetic when he spoke. “I’m surprised to find that you guys are having any kind of relationship. You seem so distant from each other at Mom’s family dinners.”

Dominic nodded. “We’re as emotionally far apart as you can get. I think the sex is just a way to punish each other.” Now that he had said the words, he realized the truth of them. It would have been easier for both of them if they steered clear of a physical connection, but inflicting orgasms on the other that lacked any emotional depth or sense of connection were actually more of a punishment than a reward.

He was trying to force her to connect with him again, and she was making it clear she had no interest in doing so. Was that why he had continued to go to her room? It certainly wasn’t because the sex itself was satisfying. He could have the same kind of meaningless orgasm with his hand and be finished a lot faster. So why did he continue returning to her?

“You hurt her pretty badly, Dominic, but it’s probably not too late to salvage the relationship. It was pretty obvious the night that she made the revelation about your marriage that you hurt her, but she seemed to be most upset about the fact that you lied and tricked her into falling in love with you.”

“Thanks, Freud, I couldn’t have figured that out for myself.” He shot a sour look at Luka before draining his whiskey and inclining his head to the bottle, waiting for Roman to pour him another.

Luka ignored his words. “My point is, she was clearly feeling something for you, at least enough to be convinced to marry you on short notice. Even if it was just the beginning seeds of love, if you’re really interested in preserving the relationship, you could build on that. You could make her love you again as much as you love her.”

Dominic froze, the glass sliding through his hand to land on the bar with a
thunk
. The liquid inside splashed onto the bar and his fingers, but he barely noticed. He turned slightly in his stool to glare at his brother. “I don’t love her.”

Roman laughed outright. “Sure you don’t.”

Luka was slightly more sympathetic. “I’m sure you don’t want to, and you’ve probably convinced yourself you don’t, but it’s plain to us that something is different with you. From our own experiences, we know only a woman can fuck with your head like this, and leave your heart shredded. Whether or not you’re ready to admit it, you’re in love with your wife. The only way you’re going to be happy is if you get her to love you again too.”

Dominic pushed away from the stool, stumbling slightly as he got to his feet. “I don’t have to listen to this from you two. I’m going home.”

“You’re not driving after all that whiskey. You can barely stand upright,” teased Roman.

“Fuck you. I’m not drunk. I just stumbled getting off the stool.” He strode from the bar, deciding to do the sensible thing and flag down a taxi instead of trying to drive in his current state. Maybe he was a little more intoxicated than he thought. There was clearly something wrong with him, something that was impairing his faculties and inhibiting his ability to make sound decisions. He’d much rather it be a few shots of whiskey than the cold woman waiting for him at home.

A wave of sadness swept through him when he remembered just how hot she could be. During that first week with Lily, before she had learned the truth, she had been amazing. They had been amazing together. With a start, Dominic realized that was the happiest he had been in a long time.

“Fuck,” he said aloud.

The cabbie looked back in his direction. “You okay back there?”

“Just fucking fantastic,” said Dominic as he turned his gaze out the window, dissuading the driver from trying to initiate conversation. He was in no mood to talk to anyone, and he wished he had skipped the conference with his brothers. They were making him think about things he’d avoided, and issues he didn’t want to dwell on or dissect.

***

It was just after nine-thirty when Dominic entered the house, so he wasn’t surprised to find Lily sitting in the living room, though he was taken aback by the fact that she didn’t completely look through him or give him her ice maiden routine. Instead, her eyes met his as she got to her feet. “We need to talk,” she said.

He nodded his head. “Yeah, I guess we do.” During the cab ride home, he’d come to the realization that things couldn’t continue on as they were, and while he was in no mood to make spontaneous gestures of affection or confessions, he figured he at least owed her an apology. “I’m sorry.” It was unexpectedly difficult to get those words through his lips.

She frowned, looking confused. “Sorry about what?” Her tone made it clear that his sins were numerous, and she was having a difficult time figuring out which one he was apologizing for.

He grimaced slightly. “I’m sorry I tricked you into this. I should have told you the truth upfront rather than trying to manipulate your emotions.”

She seemed surprised, but after a hesitation, she nodded. “Thank you.”

“What did you want to talk to me about?”

She licked her lips, and his greedy gaze couldn’t help following the motions, and he barely suppressed a groan. It was difficult to focus on her words. Her face kept distracting him, along with the tempting contours of her luscious lips. It was when he realized that he’d do anything to taste those lips again that he admitted his brothers were right. He was in trouble and in way over his head.

“Well?” she asked impatiently.

He blinked. “Sorry. What?”

She let out an exasperated sigh. “Well, what you think about the situation now? Dad did his part, and I’ve done mine.”

He nodded, not at all sure what she was talking about, but certainly not about to admit that either. “It sounds fine.” He hoped that was a good response, but guessed not from the way she let out another irritated sigh. “Perfect even.”

She was perfect too. Her features, which he had once dismissed as on the plain side, were simply understated elegance. Her glossy brown hair was full of life, and he loved the way it twisted around his fingers when he ran his hands through the strands. He loved everything about her. Fuck. Before he could stop himself, he opened his mouth and said, “I love you, Lily.”

At exactly the same time, she said, “I want a divorce.”

“What?” they said simultaneously.

He shook his head. “What did you say?”

She looked uncertain, licking her lips again before speaking. “I asked for a divorce. The terms of our agreement have ended, or they should have anyway. I did what you asked, and my father did as well. The family is safe, Dad has retired, and you no longer need me for a bargaining chip.”

He smothered a curse before shaking his head. “No divorce.”

She glared at him. “There’s no reason to stay together.”

“I fucking love you, Lily, and you’re not going anywhere.”

She snorted. “You don’t love me. This is just some other manipulation tool.”

Pushed beyond the bounds of control, Dominic surged forward, clamping his hands around her biceps as he pushed her back onto the couch. She landed with a small grunt, and he trapped his wife against the cushions, lying across her to keep her from wriggling away. “I’m not manipulating you.”

She thrashed underneath him, clearly in no mood to listen to his words. “Get off me.”

Desperation propelled him, and he bent his head to bring his mouth against hers. That was one time she couldn’t deny how she was feeling or push him away. She was too vulnerable to do so.

Lily tried to push him away, as he had expected. She turned her head, clearly desperate to avoid his kisses. “No kissing.”

He ignored the edict, pressing his lips against her cheek before moving his mouth to the right in a series of small nibbles. She had her face pressed against the cushion, and there was nowhere else for her to go. A surge of victory filled him when he claimed her lips, though they remained stiff and rigid against his for several long moments.

He didn’t try to force a response. He simply kept kissing her, keeping their lips fused, though occasionally nibbling or sucking on the lower lip. She was trembling now, and her lips quivered as she fought to hold herself back, to hide her response. Having her on the brink of capitulation made him feel shaky as well. It took all of his strength to keep his kisses coaxing, yet commanding. He had to shatter the icy façade behind which she hid, and this was the best way. Perhaps the only way.