Read Microsoft Word - MeantForEachOther.doc Online
Authors: Allison
Craig’s card sat in his wallet, and he could almost feel its presence as if it were alive. He shook his head and reached for his wallet. There was no reason to feel so guilty when Craig was a friend, an old friend he loved and who was helping him and his current partner remodel their home, right?
Right.
Jeremy pushed the thought aside, guilt filling him. Andrew was trying so hard to make things good between them and here he was reliving a kiss from fifteen years ago and wanting to experience it again. Chill out, Jeremy. All he said was he wanted to get together for dinner. The reprimand sounded right, but didn’t fool him. Craig was back in his life and for the first time in as long as he could remember, the future excited him.
The entire ride home, Jeremy’s mind raced and he barely managed to maintain conversation with Andrew without interrupting his own thoughts. Andrew bubbled on and on about the evening and his excitement about redecorating their condo. Jeremy made the appropriate sounds of affirmation, but his head remained focused on Craig.
The fresh scent hovered around him like a mist, each intake of breath making the 65
D.H. Starr
Meant For Each Other
picture of his best friend clearer in his mind. As he sat, his cock pushed at the fabric of his jeans, constricted within the tight space.
Andrew called his name with a bit of alarm; causing Jeremy to snap his head to face him. “Huh?”
“Where are you? You looked like you were a million miles away.”
Panic gripped Jeremy. What’s the appropriate response here? “Considering some ideas for the condo.”
Andrew squeezed his hand, a broad smile crossing his face. “I’m so glad you’re excited about this. And what a bonus your friend is the designer. Small world.”
Guilt managed to squeeze inside his chest along with the panic. Jeremy had been thinking the same thing. Not about spending money. He normally became irritated at Andrew for spending money when Jeremy couldn’t contribute. Instead he focused on the fact he would be able to spend more time with Craig. Suddenly a third emotion joined the guilt and panic. Pride welled inside him as well as he thought about Craig and how talented he had become.
Back in their condo, they got undressed and slid into bed; Jeremy nestled in Andrew’s arms. Within minutes, Andrew’s breath came slow and easy, but Jeremy remained wide awake, memories of his childhood playing through his mind like a slideshow and fantasies of what his life might have been if he had never moved.
66
D.H. Starr
Meant For Each Other
The next morning, Jeremy pulled the card out of his wallet. He had wracked his brain for a plausible reason to call Craig and finally decided on inviting Robert to dinner. His heart sped up and he started breathing faster. Geez Jeremy, it’s just Craig.
Before he had a chance to dial, his phone started ringing. Glancing at the caller ID, he didn’t recognize the number, but then checked it against the card. It was Craig.
Jeremy picked up the phone on the second ring. “Why’d you wait so long to call me?”
All of the tension Jeremy had allowed to build up inside seeped out as soon as Craig responded. “What? You expect me to drop everything and call? I had to pee first.”
“You could have called me and peed at the same time.”
They both burst out in heartfelt laughter. God, it felt good to laugh with Craig again. How had he lived all these years without hearing the sweet tenor of the man’s voice? When the laughter had passed, Jeremy’s insides jumped and he prepared himself to broach the true purpose for his call. “Listen, I wanted to invite you and Robert for dinner.”
Waiting for Craig’s answer, Jeremy ignored a sliver of jealousy at having to extend an invitation for two. He pictured the tall man with dark hair, who had been drunk and ridiculously talkative. My God Jeremy, you’re jealous. The realization startled him, but he couldn’t deny the truth of it.
Craig cleared his throat, a nervous sound Jeremy recognized from their childhood.
His own throat dried suddenly. Was Craig feeling the same way?
“I’d love…I mean, we’d love to come, Jeremy.”
Jeremy’s heart beat even faster Wow, he was actually inviting Craig to his home for dinner. Just twenty-four hours ago it was something he’d never imagined possible.
”How does Wednesday night at seven o’clock sound?”
“Sounds like a plan. Can we bring anything?”
“No, I’ll take care of everything.” And I’m spending my money for this. Not Andrew’s.
With a pang of guilt, he knew why he’d not use Andrew’s money for this dinner.
“Okay. Wednesday night then.”
Jeremy waited for the other end of the line to go dead before replacing the phone on the handset.
A few minutes later Andrew came into the kitchen. “You’re up early.” He snuggled behind Jeremy and planted a kiss on the back of his neck, his scruff tickling the sensitive skin. The normally enjoyable sensation blended horribly with the guilt snaking around inside him. Come on, Jeremy, you’re just friends. That’s all. He closed his eyes and concentrated all his attention on the brush of Andrew’s lips.
67
D.H. Starr
Meant For Each Other
“I woke up alert today,” he murmured. “Hey, I called Craig. He and Robert are going to come for dinner on Wednesday night. You don’t mind, do you?”
“Of course I don’t mind.” Andrew released Jeremy with a pat on the butt and walked over to the coffee pot. “Didn’t make the coffee yet, huh?”
Jeremy ignored his comment. “I think I’ll make the roasted chicken Craig’s mom used to make. We ate it all the time growing up.”
Andrew walked over to the freezer and took out the ground coffee. “Sounds delicious. How come you never made the meal for me?”
Jeremy froze, panic setting in once again. “Uh, I—“
“I know, I’m never around for dinner.” He turned to Jeremy and offered him a sly smile and a wink. Jeremy released the breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding.
“I’m glad you’ve reconnected with Craig. You’ve been pretty down. Maybe spending time with an old friend is what you need. Whenever you talk about growing up in Newton, you’re always so excited.”
“Yeah. Maybe it is.” Jeremy kept his other thought to himself. Maybe it’s what I’ve always needed.
On Wednesday, when Jeremy finished school, he left right away rather than staying to prepare for the next day as he normally would. Craig and Robert would be coming over around seven that evening. And he still had to do some food shopping. While in the supermarket, Andrew called. “Hey, baby. Just wanted to check if you need me to pick anything up on my way home. I’m going to cut out right at five o’clock today so I can be home and help out with last minute preparations.”
“I have most everything I need. Would you mind picking up some wine?” Jeremy had gone way over his food budget. Knowing he wouldn’t be able to afford wine as well, he succumbed.
“Absolutely. I’ll pick up a bunch of bottles so we can get tipsy tonight. Do you want me to get out of work early to help out?”
Jeremy’s guilt intensified. Not only was Andrew being sweet and accommodating, but he was now offering to help make the evening a success; an evening which felt like he was preparing for a first date. In a way, it was a first date. “No, thanks. You need to work.” He fiddled with the tie of his apron. “Besides, I love cooking.”
If Andrew noticed his tension, it didn’t register in his voice. “Ok, I’ll be home around five-thirty with the wine. I love you.”
“I love you too. See you when you get home.” Jeremy snapped his phone shut and stood quietly, staring at the oven door. What the hell is going on with me? I’m in a relationship! He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to push the image of Craig’s face from his mind, unsuccessfully. With a sigh, he placed his cell back in its holster and continued selecting the food for their dinner.
* * * * *
68
D.H. Starr
Meant For Each Other
Craig stared, distracted at the computer screen in his office. In spite of the huge success of Boris’s party on Saturday, all he could think of was Jeremy. What a miracle.
An unbelievable surprise. In his mind he replayed their kiss over and over, his body reacting strongly each time. Fifteen years had passed, yet just thinking of kissing Jeremy caused his cock to stir.
Their reunion had brought up old skeletons as well, some he wasn’t sure he was ready to face. Their one kiss had been incredible, but for weeks afterward, he had difficulty sleeping, pining over Jeremy, wondering why he hadn’t been aware his best friend wanted the same things he had longed for.
All of junior year, he had basically existed through week days, looking forward to weekend calls. When the calls waned to every other week, then once a month, he had gone into a depression and shut off from all of his friends, thinking no one would understand. How could they? He never came out in high school.
The only thing preventing him from calling Jeremy more frequently was his fear that Jeremy was pulling away from him. If he pushed, he might make Jeremy stop calling altogether. That was a pain he knew he would not be able to live with. He took what he could get, but each time Jeremy called, his depression would rage within him and it took him longer and longer to recover each time.
In college, he had made a lot of friends, many of them gay, but even in the middle of fourteen-thousand people, he still felt terribly alone. No matter how many friends he made, none compared to Jeremy. He enjoyed the gay students, but as soon as Craig found himself alone with any of them, they would hit on him, not really interested in friendship at all. He learned the hard way after a few hook-ups that gay men often lost interest after they had sex with someone. Those encounters managed to reinforce for him how different others were from Jeremy and how much he had lost. After meeting Janet he let go of his depression, and moved forward.
Thoughts of Robert snapped Craig back to the present. Robert had been a jackass Saturday evening, doing everything Craig had asked him not to do and getting drunk on top of it. Boris had been too busy to pay attention to him and every time he turned around to find out what new mess Robert created, someone seemed to be searching for a reason to get away from him. Craig learned later, Robert had been plugging him to anyone who would listen. Their ride home had been silent and the argument when they got to their apartment had been ugly. One of their ugliest yet.
Craig had been furious and had accused Robert of deliberately embarrassing him.
Robert, in his typical cocky manner, had said he would push Craig’s career if he refused to promote himself. The comment had thrown Craig over the edge. Why was Robert so obsessed with his career? Didn’t Robert have enough to worry about with his own job?
Craig even went so far as to accuse Robert of wanting him as a showpiece. He even suggested that Robert’s feelings for him ran parallel with the amount of money he made.
Robert, of course, accused him of being dramatic, but Craig didn’t care, finally vocalizing what he had been thinking for years. The last connection between the two of 69
D.H. Starr
Meant For Each Other
them was sex and even that was faltering. The one question which Craig couldn’t answer was why he stayed with Robert when it made him so unhappy.
He wondered what had caused him to blow after so many years of keeping a lid on his emotions, but the answer was obvious. He had seen Jeremy. Jeremy had always stood up for him growing up. He believed in Craig, even when Craig didn’t believe in himself and he had been a better and happier person because of him.
Andrew seemed to be a terrific guy, genuine, kind, good looking, and successful.
But more than anything, Craig had seen how Andrew looked at Jeremy with love and affection. Jealousy crept up Craig’s spine. He missed loving someone and being loved in return. His heart had risen to his throat with excitement when Jeremy had called to invite the two of them to dinner. The mere thought of seeing Jeremy, even if he couldn’t be with him, caused his head to spin and butterflies to flit about in his stomach.
Memories of high school and his first year of college flooded his mind. He had closed himself off for three years after Jeremy moved. Maybe Jeremy had allowed their friendship to fade, something he never understood, yet now, only memories of the person who he had grown up with and loved filled his mind. All of the hurt and pain was a distant echo of a time that had passed.
He turned off his computer, stood up, popped in to say goodnight to Janet, and headed out to get ready for dinner.
* * * * *
“Andrew, get the door. I have to stay with the food.”
Andrew gave Jeremy’s shoulder a squeeze before leaving him in the kitchen to buzz Craig and Robert in. Once Andrew left, Jeremy gripped the edge of the counter tight enough for the whites of his knuckles to show through. He took in a deep breath and counted. One, two, three, four, five. Exhaling, he allowed the breath to exit slowly through pursed lips, relieving pent up tension.
A few minutes later, he heard the front door being opened. “Hey guys, welcome to our not-so-humble abode.”
Jeremy shook his head. Goofball. He wiped his hands on a towel, smoothed out the front of his shirt, and made sure no chicken fat had stained his pants before heading out of the kitchen. The kitchen had been hot, but that didn’t account for his sweaty palms.