Midnight Sons Volume 2 (19 page)

All at once it didn’t seem fair to mislead him any further. “I’m not going anywhere,” she confessed. “I was coming back, and when I did, I planned to work all of this out with you.”

He closed his eyes as if a great weight had been lifted from him.

“I need to settle things with someone else, too,” she said.

“Ben.” His eyes held hers. “He wants to talk to you.”

Bethany struggled to control her emotions before she asked, “He told you?”

Mitch nodded. “You’re his daughter.”

“He admitted that?” Her eyes welled with tears.

Again he nodded.

“Is he all right? I shouldn’t have said anything—you don’t know how much I regret it.” She found it difficult to maintain her composure. “I shouldn’t have confronted him the way I did. I can only guess what he must think. Please,” she begged, “tell him I don’t expect anything of him. I realize he lied, but I understand. I don’t blame him. Who knows what any of us would have done in similar circumstances.”

“He wants to talk to you himself.”

“He doesn’t need to say a word. I understand. Please assure him for me that I don’t want anything from him,” she said again.

“You can tell him yourself. He’s here.”

“Here?”

“Actually he’s downstairs in the bar waiting. We tossed a coin to see which of us got to speak to you first. I won.”

He gestured to the bed. “Please sit,” he said. “This seems to be a time for confessions.” Bethany obediently perched on the edge of the bed and looked up at him expectantly.

“There’s something important you need to know about me,” he said. “I should’ve told you sooner—I’m sorry I didn’t. After
I’ve told you, you can decide what you want to do. If you’d rather not see me again…well, you can decide that later.”

“Mitch, what is it?”

He couldn’t seem to stay in one place. “I love you, Bethany,” he said urgently. “I’m not a man who loves easily. There’s only been one other woman I’ve felt this strongly about.”

“Your wife,” she guessed.

“I—I don’t know where to start.” Mitch threw her a look of anguish.

“Start at the beginning,” she coaxed gently, patiently. She’d waited a long time for Mitch to trust her enough to tell her about his past.

He resumed his pacing. “I met Lori while we were in college. I suppose our history was fairly typical. We fell in love and got married. I joined the Chicago Police Department, and our lives settled down to that of any typical young couple. Or so I thought.”

He paused, and it seemed to Bethany that the light went out of his eyes.

“I see,” she said quietly. “Go on.”

Moving to stand in front of her, he said, “Chrissie was born, and I was crazy about her from the first. Lori wanted to be a good mother. I believe that, and I believe she tried. She honestly tried. But she was accustomed to being in the work-force and mingling with other people, and staying home with the baby didn’t suit her. About this time, I was assigned to Narcotics. From that point, my schedule became erratic. I rarely knew from one week to the next what my hours would be.”

He stared somewhere above her head, as if the telling of these details was too painful to do face-to-face.

“Lori became depressed. She saw her physician about it, and he explained that post-partum depression is fairly common. He prescribed something to help her feel better. He also gave her tranquilizers. A light dose to take when she had trouble sleeping.”

“Did the medication help?”

“For a while, but then Lori found she couldn’t sleep nights at all. Chrissie suffered from repeated ear infections, and Lori often had to stay awake with her, which added to the problem.”

He frowned. “I don’t know when she started doubling up on the tranquilizers, or even how she was able to get so many of them. I suspect she went to a number of different doctors.”

Bethany held out her hand to him and Mitch gripped it hard between his own. Then he sat on the bed beside her, turning his body toward her. “What’s so tragic about all of this is that over and over again Lori told me how unhappy she was, how miserable. She didn’t like being home. She didn’t like staying with the baby all the time. She wanted me home more often. She clung to me until I felt she was strangling me, and all along she was so terribly sick, so terribly depressed.”

“Did you know she was hooked on the tranquilizers?”

“I suppose I guessed. But I figured she was under a doctor’s care—and I didn’t want to deal with it just then. I couldn’t. I was working day and night on an important case,” he said, his eyes bleak with sorrow. “If she wanted to dope herself up at night with tranquilizers, what could I do? I’d cope with it when I could, but not then.” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “You see, I might’ve saved her life had I dealt with the problem immediately, instead of ignoring it and praying she’d snap out of it herself.”

“What happened?” Bethany asked. She intuitively realized there was more to the story, and that it would only grow worse.

“If the signs had been any plainer, they would’ve hit me over the head.”

“It happens every day.”

“I worked with addicts. I should’ve known.”

It was clear that this was one thing Mitch would never forgive himself for.

“She killed herself,” he said in a stark whisper. “Her family thought it was an accident, but I know better. She needed me, but I was too involved in chasing down drug dealers to help my own wife. She was depressed, unhappy and addicted to tranquilizers. I turned my back on her. I might as well have poured the pills down her throat.”

“Oh, Mitch, you were under so much stress. You can’t blame yourself.”

“Yes, I can,” he said, “and I have. I should’ve been able to tell what was happening to her. She paid the penalty for my neglect—with her life. I can understand if you don’t want to marry me…”

“Is that what you’re asking me, Mitch? To be your wife?”

“Yes.” His gaze held hers. “I realize how much Chrissie loves you, but like I told you, it isn’t for my daughter I’m asking. It’s for me.”

The lump in Bethany’s throat refused to dissolve. She nodded and swallowed her tears.

“Is that a yes?” he asked, as if he was afraid of the answer.

She nodded again, more vigorously.

Mitch briefly closed his eyes. “I live a simple life, Bethany. I don’t want to leave Hard Luck.”

“I don’t want to leave, either. My home is wherever you are.”

“You’re sure? Because I don’t think I could let you go. Not now.” He reached for her and kissed her with a hunger and a longing that left her breathless. A long time passed before he released her.

“We’d better stop while I still can,” he told her. “Besides, Ben’s waiting.”

“Ben.” She’d almost forgotten.

“He’s downstairs bragging to the bartender about his daughter,” Mitch said. “Would you like to join him there? I know he wants to talk to you.”

“In a little while,” she whispered and leaned her head against
his shoulder. They’d both come to Hard Luck for a purpose. His had been to hide; hers had been to find her biological father. Together they’d discovered something far more precious than the gold that had drawn generations of prospectors to Alaska.

They’d found each other. And together they’d found love.

Half an hour later, Bethany made her way into the dimly lit cocktail lounge and came upon Ben sitting alone at a table, nursing a bottle of beer. His shoulders slumped forward and his head was bowed. It looked, she thought sadly, as if the weight of nearly thirty years of regret rested solidly on his back.

He raised his eyes to meet hers when she walked over to his table. “Do you mind if I sit down?” she asked, feeling tentative herself. She understood that the way she’d confronted Ben had been a mistake; she wished more than anything that they could start over.

He nodded, his expression concerned as she slid out the chair and sat across from him.

“Do you want a drink?” he asked.

“No, thanks.” The wine and brandy last night had loosened her tongue. She didn’t want to repeat
that
mistake. “I’m so sorry…”

“I’m the one who’s sorry,” Ben cut in. “I’m not proud of the way I reacted yesterday—my only excuse is shock.”

“I couldn’t have done a worse job of it,” she said.

His face tightened, and his eyes grew suspiciously bright. “It’s so hard to believe I could have a daughter as beautiful as you, Bethany. My heart feels like it’s going to bust wide open just looking at you.”

Bethany smiled tremulously, close to tears herself.

“Your mother…the resemblance between you is striking. I didn’t see it at first, but now I do.” He took a swallow of his beer and Bethany suspected he did it to hide his emotion. He set the bottle back on the table. “How’s Marilyn? The cancer?”

“She’s better than ever, and there’s no sign of the cancer recurring.”

“She’s…she’s had a good life? She’s happy?”

Bethany nodded. “Very happy. Mom and Dad have a good marriage. Like any relationship, it’s had its ups and downs over the years, but they’re still in love, and they’re truly committed to each other.” She paused and drew in a deep breath. “They don’t know that I’ve—that I found you.”

He lowered his head. “Do you plan on telling them?”

“Yes, and you can be assured I’ll handle it a lot more diplomatically than I did with you. I accepted the teaching contract in Hard Luck because I knew you were here, but originally I’d never intended to tell you.”

“Not tell me?”

“All I wanted was to get to know you, but once I’d done that, it didn’t seem to be enough. We’re very alike, Ben, in many important ways. But before I knew that, I was afraid of the kind of man you’d be.”

He sipped from the beer bottle. “I’m probably a disappointment….”

“No,” she rushed to tell him. “No! I’m
proud
to be your daughter. You’re a warm, generous, caring person. Hard Luck Café is the heart of the community, and that’s because of you.”

“I can’t be your father,” Ben murmured. “Your mother’s husband—Peter—he’ll always be that.”

“That’s true. But you could be my friend.”

His face brightened. “Yes. A special friend.”

Bethany stretched her hand across the table and Ben squeezed her fingers. “Where’s Mitch?”

“He’s in the lobby waiting for us.” Bethany smiled, and the happiness bloomed within her. “This seems to be a day for clearing the air.”

Ben placed some money on the table and they walked out of the lounge. “Are you going to marry him?” he asked. “Put him out of his misery?”

“Oh, yes. I came to Hard Luck wanting to meet you, and instead I found
two
men I’ll love for the rest of my life.”

Mitch hurried toward them, and they met him halfway. Grinning widely, Ben slung an arm around their shoulders, drawing them close. “Well, my friends. This seems to be an evening to celebrate. Dinner’s on me!”

February 1996

She would always be his valentine, according to the card.

The man was a low-down, dirty rat! Furiously Karen Caldwell tossed the card into the garbage. She stood there in the middle of her kitchen, with the California sun pouring through her windows, and battled down tears.

Leave it to her ex-husband to do something like this. In the four years of their marriage Matt hadn’t once bought her a valentine card.
Or
an anniversary card. Oh, no, he waited until they were divorced to do that. Waited until she was convinced he was finally out of her life—and her heart. Only then had he bothered to send her a card. A sweet, funny card celebrating a day meant for lovers. He’d purposely postponed contacting her until she’d managed to persuade herself she was almost happy.

Karen drew a deep, shaky breath, determined to put the man and his valentine out of her mind.

Her ex-husband infuriated her. This was just another
example. Put a hundred, a thousand, of these examples together, and it explained why she’d divorced him. Matthew Caldwell was irresponsible. Thoughtless. Unreliable. In the four years of their marriage he’d changed careers five times. Five times!

Without fail, whenever she’d begun to think he’d finally found his niche, Matt would casually announce that he’d quit his job. Not once had he discussed his plans with her. He seemed to believe his decision was none of her concern.

Over and over he’d tell her he didn’t know how unhappy he was until the moment he quit, as if that should be all the explanation she needed.

Giving his notice at Curtis Accounting had been the final straw. When that happened Karen had done the only sensible thing a woman could do in the circumstances. She left him.

No one blamed her, least of all Matt’s family. His parents and sister were as exasperated with his penchant for shifting careers as she was herself.

Right after the divorce Karen had been offered the transfer to California. Leaving Alaska had sounded like a perfect solution, and it didn’t hurt that a promotion went along with the relocation. The move would help her put the unpleasantness of her failed marriage behind her. Sunny California was just the distraction she needed.

Or so Karen had thought.

Now she wasn’t so sure. She missed Alaska. Missed her friends. And…she missed Matt.

Karen avoided looking at the garbage can. Every time she thought of the valentine card, it made her mad. What irritated her most was that she knew he’d had to go out of his way to buy it.

Karen had been to Hard Luck, where Matt was living now. In a town that small, there wouldn’t be anyplace that sold
greeting cards. Matt would’ve had to order it by mail, or fly into Fairbanks.

He’d moved to Hard Luck because of the lodge—his latest folly.

Karen rolled her eyes. Her ex-husband had used the trust fund his grandmother had left him to purchase the burned-out lodge from the O’Halloran brothers. What Karen had gathered from a conversation with his sister, Lanni, was that Matt had begun to renovate it and hoped to attract tourists. Tourists north of the Arctic Circle!

But then, it made as much sense as anything else Matt had done in the past few years. If he wanted to waste his inheritance on another one of his grand schemes,
she
wouldn’t try to stop him. Besides, it was none of her business.

When she couldn’t stand it anymore Karen pulled the valentine out of the garbage. Below the printed message, he’d written “love” and his name.

Tears blurred her eyes. If this was how she reacted to a simple card, what would happen at the wedding? Lanni had asked Karen to serve as her maid of honor, and Karen had said yes.

True, it might be a bit uncomfortable, since Matt would be at the wedding, too, but Lanni had assured her that she’d discussed the situation with him. Matt hadn’t objected. They might be divorced, but they were both adults.

It had been eighteen months since she’d last seen her ex-husband. The wedding wouldn’t be so bad, Karen decided. She’d smile a lot and let him know how happy she was. How much she liked California. How well she was doing at her job.

She’d make sure she looked her best, too. Lose five pounds, get her hair trimmed, buy some new clothes. After one glance, he’d be ready to hand her his heart on a silver platter.

And Karen? She’d hand it right back.