Miriam's Secret (5 page)

“Well, that's the first smart thing I've heard you say today,” Miriam said, letting out a breath.

Shirley appeared unfazed. “Let me finish. I said I couldn't
then
, but that maybe I'd change my mind. And I have changed my mind.”

Miriam stared at her sister. “Shirley, before this goes any further, I think you need to talk to
Mamm
.”

Alarm was written across Shirley's face. “I hoped you'd support me in this, but…”

“You
have
to tell
Mamm
!” Miriam's voice was firm. “It's best if things like this are out in the open—not done in secret. And you have to think about how this would hurt
Mamm
and
Daett.
” Miriam shivered at the image of
Daett
's shoulders bowing even lower than normal at the news.

Shirley seemed to sense the same dread and fell silent.

Miriam considered that if Jonas Beachy was a poor man, Shirley wouldn't give him a second glance. Clearly she understood where this could lead. Had Shirley entertained the thought that if this wasn't nipped in the bud, she might end up leaving the faith to marry the man? Miriam was sure Jonas would never rejoin the Amish. His
daett
, after all, was the pastor or elder or something of their church, to say nothing of that fancy house they lived in. Why did money do this to people? It would destroy Shirley's life if she didn't let go of the desire to chase it. Miriam closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, she clucked to get Mindy moving again.

Silence continued between Miriam and Shirley as Mindy
worked her way up the final grade into Berlin. The afternoon rush of traffic had begun, but they stayed to the side streets and missed most of it. Shirley had a gleam in her eye as they approached the mall where the Berlin Gospel Bookstore was located.

Miriam parked the buggy by the long hitching rack provided for Amish customers. A few tourists stood along the street outside the mall, their cameras at the ready. If Berlin had anything, it was tourists. People flocked here in droves to see Amish life close-up. An errant thought burned through Miriam's mind:
Daett
could still make money off of them if he'd act like others in the community did. But her
daett
wasn't like the others, and she didn't wish he was.

Shirley climbed out of the buggy and waved to the tourists, who began to snap pictures at once, taking Shirley's friendliness as an invitation.

Miriam joined Shirley and whispered while she tied Mindy to the long metal rod, “You should be more reserved, Shirley!”

“I know,” Shirley agreed.

As they approached the Berlin Gospel Bookstore, Shirley said, “I think this job is yours. Just think positively.”

“I'll try,” Miriam said, straightening her
kapp
as they entered and made their way to a woman standing behind a counter.

“I'm here to apply for the open job,” Miriam said as confidently as she could. “If it's still available.”

“Yes, we still need help,” the woman said. “Just a minute. The manager will be right out.”

Moments later, a man appeared who introduced himself as Mr. Clark.

“We're the Yoder sisters—Miriam and Shirley,” Shirley said, more boldly than Miriam would have. “Eli Yoder is our
daett
.”

“The lame farmer, right?” Mr. Clark clarified.

Shirley nodded and rushed on, unfazed. “Miriam's looking for work. Her employer was Mr. Bland for three years, but he passed away this morning. And you're the first place we've stopped in to look for work.”

“Yes, I've already heard about Mr. Bland. Word gets out quickly,” Mr. Clark said. “Very well-off fellow. Quite a successful businessman in his day.” Turning to Miriam, Mr. Clark asked, “How much were you paid a week, Miriam?”

Miriam glanced at the floor as she stated the amount.

Mr. Clark smiled. “You were well paid, indeed. Mr. Bland must have approved of your work. We can't pay that much here, I'm afraid.”

“She'll take what you can give and work hard,” Shirley offered.

Mr. Clark paused to consider Miriam. “So when can you begin?”

“Tomorrow.” Miriam hesitated. “Is that soon enough?”

Mr. Clark nodded. “Fill out the paperwork at the front desk.” Mr. Clark motioned toward the woman behind them. “You can begin on Friday—that's soon enough. I'm honored we're the first place you checked.”

“Thank you! Thank you very much!” Shirley chirped with a proud grin, as if she'd gotten the job herself.

“Yes, thank you,” Miriam said more softly.

Mr. Clark excused himself, and Miriam stood at the counter filling out the necessary paperwork. When that was finished, the two girls headed for the buggy.

“You did quite well in there,” Miriam said.

“I'm glad I could help.” Shirley was still cheerful.

Miriam changed the subject to the one they both dreaded. “You still need to tell
Mamm
and
Daett
about this Jonas Beachy business. And it must be tonight before it goes any further.”

Shirley was silent, her mood now subdued.

Miriam couldn't help but think of what lay ahead.
Mamm
would likely forget all about the job her eldest daughter had just acquired. There would be dark thoughts and weariness on her heart tonight, to say nothing of how
Daett
would feel. The day had begun with heavy sorrow and, except for momentary joy at getting a job, showed no change anytime soon.

Chapter Five

O
nce they arrived back home, Shirley climbed down to help unhitch Mindy from the buggy. She undid the tugs on her side and held the shafts while Miriam led Mindy forward. Neither girl spoke; each one was lost in her own thoughts. When Miriam disappeared into the barn with Mindy, Shirley waited. She knew she should return to the house to help
Mamm
with the household work, but she was nervous. Why had she spilled her secret to Miriam? Shirley tossed her head. There had been the guilt, of course. But now she had a bigger problem. Miriam wouldn't rest until
Mamm
and
Daett
were told.

Shirley sighed. Why couldn't she leave Jonas Beachy alone? She wanted to, and yet she didn't. She kept promising herself she'd turn up her nose the next time he walked by, but she never did. The truth was, she hadn't told Miriam all there was to tell. For several weeks now she'd been meeting Jonas on her trips to Berlin. Even now her heart beat faster at the thought of his attention.
She'd always been comfortable around boys, often exchanging smiles and jokes with them. One day one of them would ask her home from a Sunday night hymn singing—once her
rumspringa
was over. But how she'd respond, she still hadn't decided. This was the normal way a man and a woman conducted themselves.
Mamm
said this was how the Lord led a young couple to fall in love and eventually share the sacred vows of marriage with each other. Marriage suitors in
Mamm
and
Daett
's eyes did not include the likes of Jonas Beachy. That must be where her guilt was coming from. And she did want to be a decent woman in the faith, Shirley told herself. She just couldn't resist Jonas. Really, what girl could? Maybe Miriam. But I'm not Miriam, Shirley thought. Would it do any good to make stronger promises to herself? Maybe that was the reason she'd told Miriam—so her sister would help her? But Miriam planned to do what the responsible child was supposed to do—report the matter to
Mamm
. Everyone would find out now. Shirley decided she should have gone straight to
Mamm
to begin with, but she'd been afraid
Mamm
might overreact. With Miriam in the middle as mediator, there was a much greater chance of resolution without regrets on either side. This was what lay behind her maneuvers, Shirley figured. She glanced toward the barn as Miriam came out. Shirley smiled slightly. “We'd best get this over with, don't you think?”

Miriam didn't answer but led the way back to the house.
Mamm
met them at the door with a worried look. “Didn't you get the job?”

“I got the job,” Miriam said as she entered the house. “But something else has come up.”

“Something serious?”
Mamm
's face went pale, and she found the rocker and sat down.

If I had more wisdom, Shirley thought, I would have waited
longer before bringing this up. It had been a traumatic day already for
Mamm
. But tomorrow was Tuesday again. She might see Jonas—and if she didn't do something soon, she'd agree to meet with him on the sly or otherwise. Her attraction to the man was almost scary. Had she fallen in love? Was this what love felt like? This out-of-control feeling? This breathless longing to see him again? At first she thought her attraction sprang from Jonas's fancy convertible and access to his
daett
's money. This was a personal weakness she was well aware of and must one day overcome. But she hadn't expected love—
if
this was love.

“What is it?”
Mamm
's voice cut through her thoughts.

“Shirley's in love with Jonas Beachy.” Miriam wasted no time getting to the heart of the matter, as usual.

“Jonas Beachy!”
Mamm
's voice was filled with horror.

“It's not that bad,” Shirley protested. “
I
didn't say I was in love with him.” And yet perhaps she was. There was something special about Jonas. He had a confident air about him that she liked. And, she had to admit it, there was the wealth factor.

“But Jonas isn't Amish!”
Mamm
exclaimed.

“I told Miriam about Jonas so she could help me decide what to do. I made a mistake. I should have kept quiet. I'm not ready to talk about him.”

Mamm
stared at Shirley. “Perhaps we'd better start at the beginning.”

Miriam looked away. “Shirley can tell the story.”

Shirley took a deep breath. This wouldn't be easy.

“Shirley!”
Mamm
's voice was impatient. “Tell me.”

Shirley forced the words out. “Okay! I've met Jonas the past several Tuesdays in Berlin. We've talked, that's all—well, mostly all. I've taken a few rides in his car. Now he wants to see me at home.” Shirley held up her hand. “But I said no,
Mamm
.”

“Exactly how long has this been going on?”
Mamm
's voice was subdued.

Shirley bit her lip. “For a month or so. I'm sorry,
Mamm
. That's why I finally told Miriam.”

“But you didn't come to me,”
Mamm
said softly.

“I'm sorry.” Shirley hung her head.

“It's the money, isn't it?”
Mamm
said.

“She's in love,” Miriam spoke up. “It must be more than just money.”

Mamm
shook her head. “
Nee
, it's his access to money. Why is it always the money? Truly the love of money is the root of all evil, just as the Bible says.”
Mamm
wrung her hands. “I will not lose a daughter over money!”
Mamm
turned to face Shirley. “You must know that man will never make you happy.”

“He's not just ‘that man'!” Shirley wished at once she hadn't said the words. Defending Jonas revealed the affection that lay in her heart—a greater affection than even she dared admit.

Sorrow crept over
Mamm
's face. “So you are in love with the man.”

It was more statement than question, so Shirley kept silent.

The sound of buggy wheels turning into the driveway ended the discussion.
Mamm
slowly rose to her feet. “That will be the
kinner
home from school. We'll speak more on this tonight when
Daett
is home.”

Shirley groaned silently.
Daett
would probably insist she never see Jonas again.