Miriam's Secret (10 page)

Rose was scheduled to pick her up this afternoon so she could sign the papers Mr. Rosenberg had prepared.
Daett
was still downstairs. His presence in the house this late on a Saturday
morning could be explained by the weather, yet Miriam was sure there were chores in the barn he could occupy himself with—if he wanted to. But, no, she figured he wanted to talk with her before she met with the lawyer.

Well, she couldn't hide out in her room all day, Miriam thought. She'd have to face
Daett
sooner or later. She looked in the dresser mirror and straightened her
kapp.
Seconds later she stepped out of the stairwell and into the living room.
Daett
was waiting as she'd expected. He lowered the latest copy of
The Budget
when she appeared. He cleared his throat. “Your
mamm
and I wish to speak with you before you leave, Miriam.”

Shirley stuck her head through the kitchen doorway. “Can I listen in?”

Daett
sighed. “What we have to discuss is a serious matter, Shirley. Please be respectful and take the younger children upstairs. We don't want to be interrupted.”

Shirley appeared mournful as she gathered up her siblings, and then they all clattered up the stairs. Miriam almost wished Shirley could stay and listen in. She can even have the farm and the money, she thought
.
But in her heart she knew Shirley would do herself great harm if she were given a lot of money. Maybe it was best this way.

Mamm
appeared in the kitchen doorway and then took her seat in her rocker. She sat with clasped hands resting on her extended middle.
Daett
glanced at her. “Are the younger children all upstairs?”

“
Yah
.”
Mamm
studied the floorboards in front of her.

Daett
turned to face Miriam. “Please sit. This may take a while.”

Miriam moved toward the couch and sat on the end closest to
Mamm
's rocker. The comforting presence of
Mamm
reached
across the space between them.
Mamm
clearly felt deeply for her plight. Probably
Daett
did too, even if neither of them had found the words to express themselves that way.

Daett
cleared his throat. “
Mamm
and I have spoken at length about this matter, Miriam. You know how we feel about money, so you can imagine our feelings on Mr. Bland leaving you his large farm.”

“I didn't know he was going to do such a thing,” Miriam said. “Rose assured you of that. And the lawyer questioned me at the restaurant about it too. They are satisfied that everything is…was…in order.”

Daett
regarded her steadily but his voice trembled. “Were you inappropriate with him, Miriam? Is that why Mr. Bland left you the farm?”

Miriam froze. How could
Mamm
and
Daett
think such a thing? Even the lawyer hadn't asked such a question! Miriam tried to speak, but no words came out.

Mamm
stood and reached across the space between them to squeeze Miriam's arm. “I'm sure
Daett
doesn't mean to accuse you by asking so directly, but we have to know if there was any hint of improper behavior between you.”

Miriam choked out the words. “He was like a
daett
to me. Was that a sin?”

Daett
's face relaxed. “That's
gut
to hear, Miriam. Even though you shouldn't have regarded an
Englisha
man like a
daett
. But it does explain a lot. Mr. Bland must have looked on you like a daughter.”

Miriam tried to breathe deeply as
Mamm
said, “We don't hold that against you, do we,
Daett
?”
Mamm
glanced toward
Daett
in his rocker.

Daett
nodded. “I should have paid more attention to what
was happening with Mr. Bland and you.” He hung his head for a moment. “I guess the regular paycheck blinded my eyes, and now we're in this situation.”

“Maybe the Lord can bring some
gut
out of this?”
Mamm
asked, looking for the positive.

Daett
didn't say anything. He seemed lost in thought.

“I did nothing to ask for this,” Miriam said. “But I'll still repent if you believe I did something wrong.”

“You did nothing wrong that I can see,”
Mamm
said.

They both waited for
Daett
's verdict.

What he said would be final, Miriam knew. But how could
Daett
hold this against her? She couldn't think of anything untoward that had occurred between Mr. Bland and herself.

“You must give this farm away.”
Daett
's voice was firm. “It's not right for a twenty-year-old girl to have such riches. And how would you care for the place? You can't. And if you could and did, that would be a scandal too great to imagine in our community. A young woman managing a large farm. It wouldn't be seemly.”

Miriam swallowed hard. Here was her answer, and it was an option she'd already considered and rejected. Rose and Mr. Rosenberg would consider such an action a great insult to Mr. Bland's final wishes. How was she to explain this to
Daett
, let alone change his mind?

Mamm
's hand had found Miriam's arm again. “Your
Daett
is right, Miriam. And I can see you're struggling to accept his decision. See how much of a hold wealth has on a person? Let this be a warning! Get rid of this farm at once. Surely Rose will know how this can be done.”

“She's coming this afternoon,” Miriam reminded them. From the look on
Mamm
and
Daett
's face, this was a relief. The sooner
she gave the place away the better. But how could she? And it wasn't because money had a hold on her heart. It was because she wished to honor Mr. Bland's wishes.

A sob rose from her heart. “Mr. Bland's memory shouldn't be offended like this. He loved me like a daughter. Rose even said so. And this was a gift given from his heart.”

Daett
's lips were set in a firm line. “That is not a good reason, Miriam. Look where this path might lead. There lies nothing ahead but more trouble. And who knows how soon you might be tempted and be led by that temptation completely out of the Lord's will?”

A sudden thought rushed through Miriam's mind. She pondered it for only a moment before she blurted it out. “If I must give the farm away, then I'm giving it to you,
Daett
.”

Daett
was speechless.

Mamm
spoke up immediately. “We couldn't accept such a thing, Miriam!”

“You don't have a choice.” Miriam spoke calmly. “I will tell Rose and the lawyer this afternoon. I will have the lawyer draw up new papers. This is my answer.”

Daett
still hadn't spoken.

Was
Daett
stunned by her boldness? Miriam wondered. She'd never spoken to him like this. Had the inheritance already corrupted her soul and changed her attitude? Miriam trembled at the thought and hung on to the edge of the couch. What had taken hold of her? Only a few days ago her life had been so calm and secure and sane. They had been poor but happy.

Miriam stood and looked at her
daett
.

He still looked stunned as he sat there silently.

Miriam's body tingled as she fled into the kitchen. If she gave
Daett
the farm, it would change the family's financial situation for
the better completely. Why hadn't this course of action occurred to her before? What a perfect solution!
Daett
would no longer be a poor man. Had selfishness blinded her eyes momentarily?
Daett
would just have to accept the farm, Miriam decided. However, she would figure out a way to give it to him so that it would always stay in the family…so he couldn't give the farm away or sell it to someone outside the immediate family.

Miriam leaned on the edge of the countertop. How did she dare think such thoughts about controlling what her
daett
could do? How could she even think that she knew what was best? But she
had
thought them. She would speak to Rose about the matter this afternoon. Mr. Rosenberg would know how to write things up so that
Daett
couldn't sell the farm.

Miriam shivered. These were not the proper thoughts for a young Amish woman to have. She knew that. But she hadn't asked for any of this to occur, so she wasn't to blame. Hadn't Rose assured her that her brother knew what was best? She would trust God to guide her, and she would trust Mr. Bland's judgment, even if he was
Englisha
. Hadn't she been there in the moments before he passed and seen the expectation in his heart that he would soon meet his beloved
frau
in heaven? Mr. Bland had been redeemed by the Lord just like she had. And just like her family had.

A soft hand fell on her shoulder, and Miriam jumped and turned around.
Mamm
's face came into focus. Her concern was written deeply on her countenance. “What's happening to you, Miriam?”

“I don't know.” Miriam paused. The words had just slipped out, but they were true. She
didn't
know.

“You should come back in, and we'll pray about this.”
Mamm
pulled on her arm.

Miriam stiffened. “
Daett
already said what he said. I've decided to give the farm to him. There's no sense in praying.”

Deep hurt and shock spread across
Mamm
's face. “But we must always pray, Miriam. Have you forgotten that already?”

Miriam's shoulders relaxed.
Mamm
was right, and she should take correction in good faith. Wouldn't that be a sign that she hadn't been corrupted? She nodded and followed
Mamm
back into the living room.

Daett
was already on his knees, so
Mamm
and Miriam joined him.

Oh, what a mess, Miriam thought. Where had her peace and
gut
sense fled to?

Daett
's prayer rose in a soft whisper:

Dear Lord, look down upon us now and have mercy upon our situation. You know that Miriam didn't ask for this situation to happen, and You know that neither did we. All our lives we have sought to walk before You in humility and brokenness. There has been peace and harmony in our home because of Your grace and presence.

Now this trial of temptation has come. Do not allow it to bring that which displeases You. Break our hearts of the pride that still lies there ready to rise again. Let us not be like Satan, eager to think more highly of himself than You made him. Let us remember that we are dust, that we are made from the ground that our feet walk on.

Teach us to think lowly thoughts. Do not take Your Holy Spirit from us. Help Miriam make the right decision about this matter.

Please forgive me where I may have spoken out of turn and said things that bruised my daughter's heart.

There was a long silence before
Daett
stood. Miriam and
Mamm
followed. Miriam wiped her eyes just as a loud clatter sounded on the stairs behind them. Shirley must have decided that with the end of the prayer, it was safe to return. The smaller children poured down the stairs and out of the stairwell, scattering throughout the house to resume their play.

Shirley soon appeared with a sheepish look on her face. “Problem solved?”

“I wish,” Miriam said.

“The Lord will help us,”
Mamm
spoke up.

Daett
was already headed for the washroom door and his chores.

Shirley could be filled in later on the details, Miriam decided. Right now she had to keep focused on carrying out her plan. Once the farm was safely in
Daett
's name, the news would be broken to the whole family, whether
Daett
wished it or not. She would then be clear of the matter.

Chapter Ten