Mirrored 1 : In Spades (10 page)

I placed my hand at the back of his head and brought his lips down to mine for another soul crushing kiss. The moans escaping his mouth were driving me wild. I hadn’t felt more wanted my entire life. My heart was pounding loudly against my chest. My mind was telling me I couldn’t let myself get too carried away. I knew that Abby would be coming from her room at any moment. I broke our embrace and gently slid back but not before placing a small, singular kiss at the nape of his neck. Daxton sighed, eyes closed, deep breathing. I loved how worked up I could get him. Knowing that it was all because of me was empowering, it turned me on even more. I was a hot mess around him.

I couldn’t correctly place all of the emotions that I was currently feeling. A mixture of happiness, lust and guilt had all taken hold on me, gripping my brain. I couldn’t help but reach over and run my fingertips up and down Daxton’s arm. I needed to feel my skin underneath my own, any form would do the trick. I wanted to be close to him. In all honesty, I wanted to take him back to my bedroom and let him have his way with me but my dirty girl was currently on the loose and I needed to put her back in her cage. Hopefully she would come quietly. Sad how a kiss could instantly turn me to goo. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze and slowly brought it to his lips. I slowly skimmed the tops of my fingertips across his beautiful, full lips. Remembering the way he tasted. My mind was reeling, thinking of asking him to stay with me tonight, taking a plunge and putting myself out on the line. Rejection was not a feeling that I took kindly. I came by it honestly. Rejection was the devil rearing its ugly head. I’m sure that is what sent my dad to the pit of despair and drove him to drink. Rejection on jobs, rejection on love and finally rejection on life.

I didn’t want to continue to hold myself back from living a fulfilled life. I just didn’t want to take what I already had for granted. I felt appreciative for what I was blessed with and Abby was more than enough. But Daxton, Oh Daxton…He was dangling in front of me on a string, teasing me and making me feel things I never thought was possible. I was a void in the world. The walking dead just going through the day to day motions. Living for someone else’s life. I was ready to live for my own. She needed me to live so she could thrive. Amazed at how much Daxton had taught me in such a short time period. I wasn’t in love with him. Not just yet. I wasn’t even sure if I would ever fully be able to. But, I knew I was ready to try.

I latched onto his hand again, coming down from my high. It was no more than five minutes later when Abby bolted into the living room and threw herself on the couch between Daxton and I. He quickly threw the couch pillow onto his lap, covering up evidence of his arousal. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Daxton stuck his tongue out at me and then smiled. Not missing a beat he threw his arm around Abby and made it a point to talk with her about how her school day was and what was going on in her life. I loved the interaction that the two of them had. I decided now would be a good time to start dinner as much as I didn’t want to leave the room. I was surrounded by a perfect bubble and I hated waiting for the arrival of the impending pop that I knew was on its way. I tried to remain positive but doubts always invaded my mind and no matter what I did, I couldn’t push them away. I handed off the remote control to Abby and excused myself from the room.

Feeling like cold water had been thrown directly on my body, I hurriedly began cooking dinner. Even after the silliness, my mind still drifted to the feel of his hands exploring my body and the intensity behind our kisses. I was so worked up that I burnt the Macaroni and Cheese I was preparing. The awful scent of burnt cheese invaded my senses and I ran to remove the pan from the stove and turn off the burner. I quickly threw the remnants down the garbage disposal and turned it on full blast, cursing at Daxton under my breath. The effect he had on me couldn’t be rivaled, it was insane. I gripped the countertop hard and leaned back exhaling all my pent up frustration.

Daxton came around the corner at the same time and grinned at me devilishly. I knew, he knew. He just gets me. At the speed of light, he pulled out his cell phone and ordered a pizza. I stared at him with a dumbfounded expression on my face, my mouth probably hanging agape. I waited in anticipation for the smart ass remark that I knew would be escaping his lips at any moment but surprisingly, it never came. Instead, he busied himself putting away everything that I had taken out for dinner, including the raw chicken. He efficiently wrapped it back up and put it in the refrigerator. I stood back and let him do work. Admiring the way that his muscles flexed whenever he picked anything up. He grabbed some plates and cups from the cupboard and set places for the three of us at the table. It was so weird how he knew where everything was in my kitchen without even asking me. Strutting around like he owned the place. I liked him in my kitchen. I loved him in my house. He made it look damn sexy.

Before I knew it, the pizza had arrived. I ushered Abby to the table and tucked a napkin into her shirt. She tended to be pretty messy with pizza. Daxton got just what we liked, double pepperoni and cheese. Nice and greasy. He never ceased to amaze me. The silence was evident as we all stuffed our faces. I was full to the brim. I could never resist pizza. It was one of my weaknesses admittedly. Daxton was one of the other ones. What a perfect combination. When we were all finished, I cleaned up the kitchen and washed the dishes. Abby had pulled Daxton into her bedroom and straight to her favorite toy, her dollhouse. I followed shortly after and was amazed at the scene unfolding before my eyes. Daxton had a princess tiara placed on his head, dark hair messily sticking up around it. Pink boa wrapped slyly around his neck and muscular shoulders. He was the manliest princess I had ever come in contact with. He held a blonde haired Barbie doll in her hand and Abby had a ken doll. It was hilarious. I tried to contain my laughter but it was something I had never expected to see.

Daxton turned around to face me, not in the least bit embarrassed. He smiled widely and patted the floor next to where he sat. I went over and sat next to him and Abby. She handed me a Kelly doll, the toddler version of Barbie.

“Look mommy, it’s us!” Abby told me excitedly.

Daxton did look a bit like a Ken doll in a more rugged way, I had to admit. He was one of the most handsome men I had ever met. His personality made him absolutely irresistible to me. Abby looked a lot like the Kelly doll also. The blonde hair and bright blue eyes. I couldn’t help but grin. I wouldn’t say that I looked like a Barbie doll with the exception of the blonde hair. Maybe if Barbie had more curves. I had curves for days and couldn’t seem to rid myself of my child bearing hips. The pizza I ate earlier probably wouldn’t help my situation but I didn’t care. It was so delicious. My mouth was actually salivating at the thought. I don’t know why I was constantly hungry lately. Amongst other things, Daxton had instilled an insatiable appetite in me.

We played Barbie dolls for about an hour. Daxton participated 120% and it made me extremely happy. Looked on from an outside party it would have definitely looked like he handed over is man card, but to me, it was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. His smile was infectious and we were all in stitches by the end of the game. I tucked Abby in to bed and read to her like usual with Daxton piping up with different voices for characters in the book. Abby laughed hysterically whenever he did it. He was a great addition to our normal routine, but it worried me still. I didn’t want to get her used to something that could evaporate overnight. I couldn’t kick him out either though. I would have to discuss where our boundaries were right now as far as Abby was concerned. I didn’t want her to get confused or hurt in all of this. Abby fell sound asleep after the story was over and we quietly tip toed out of her bedroom.

I walked into the living room and planted myself on the couch. I wasn’t sure if I should invite Daxton to say or put up my wall again. It was all a learning experience to me and I had to consider that it wasn’t just me I was worried about. I was internally conflicted. Daxton plopped himself down next to me, not giving me much space at all.

“Your worry lines are showing babe. I can see the creases on your forehead. What are you thinking so hard about?” Daxton snapped me from my silent reverie, staring deep into my eyes.

He shifted his body even closer to me and turned me to face away from him, placing his hands firmly on my shoulders and massaging. It felt so good. I couldn’t help but moan at all the tension releasing from my tight muscles.

“I don’t have worry lines, Mr. Watch it! ” I said defensively, in between involuntary moans.

He laughed, “They’re cute, just like you. You’re a worrier. You’ve been like that since I’ve met you but I understand. I just wish I could take some of the stress off of you. What can I do to ease your mind a bit?” He stated confidently.

“ Honestly, I just don’t know. My mind is running in a million different directions. You’re going to think I’m insane.” I quietly said back.

“I already do.” he smirked and I couldn’t help but give him the stink eye.

“Babe, don’t give me the mad face. It turns me on. Immensely. I cannot be held accountable for my actions. I’m only human.” His intense glare through me off my game, as usual. He didn’t look human at all in this moment. In fact, he looked downright primal. He was hunting and I was his prey.

His hands were now working their way down my spine and lingering around my hips, massaging with his calloused hands. I loved every second of this attention. My body was tingling all over. I was losing all train of thought. My worries drifting miles away.

“You have no idea the effect you have on me.” The words slipped from my loose lips. I was so zoned out from the wonderful massage I was getting, the only thing I wanted to do was take him back to my bedroom.

“Good to know I just have to give you a massage to get you to loosen up. I’ll remember how easy you are.” He told me in a playful tone.

I scoffed and reached back to swat at him. I gave him my best mad face and before I knew it, he had me thrown over his shoulder and heading straight towards my bedroom. He was constantly surprising me with how he knew his way around my house like he belonged here. I squealed and my hair whipped around my face at the sudden rush of air. I felt instantly childlike and happy. He threw me down on the bed and rushed to close the door. He strides towards me, almost doing what would I would visualize a male model to do on the runaway. A cocky smirk touching the corners of his lips. I laughed out loud when he started dancing around my room and  lifting up the bottom of his shirt showing off the V he had and teasing me. I threw my hand over my mouth to keep myself quiet so I wouldn’t wake Abby. But my stomach was hurting so bad, shaking the bed with laughter.

“I told you what would happen if you gave me the mad face.” He teased, smiling.

“Well I didn’t realize you were going to go all caveman style on me. Me Jane, you Tarzan!” I cracked up at my own joke and he shook his head in amusement.

“Only you would laugh at your own joke. You’re such a nerd.” He laughed.

I scowled at him. I hated being a called a nerd. It was my biggest pet peeve. I felt as if he was putting me in the friend zone instantly and it totally cooled down my sexual overdrive. He laughed at the look on my face and lunged himself on the bed next to me. Lying flat on his back, making himself comfortable. I’m pretty positive he enjoyed pissing me off. I rolled over and leaned onto my elbow to study his face up close. He had a dark shadow lining his perfect jaw, still in the stubble stage. He was scruffy and I loved it. His tan skin was as smooth as it could be with the exception of the hair. He had no flaws or imperfections. Unlike my own scarred skin. I ran my hand over his cheek and down his jaw. He sucked in a deep breath and closed his eyes tight. It seemed as if he was fighting every shred of self-control he had left. But,I wanted him to lose it. I loved when he took control. I wasn’t the take control type of girl. At least not in this facet of life. I loved to have control over my own destiny and the life that Abby would have, what I was building for her. But as far as relationships went, both emotionally and physically, I was shy, reserved and completely in the backseat. I needed to be steered in the right direction or else I would drive off a cliff. I had never been very good about explaining my emotions and feelings. I consistently kept everything bottled up. It was easier that way. Not having to deal. Just going through the motions. I liked it that way, past tense. I even confused myself.

His eyes remained closed for what felt like an eternity. He allowed me to touch every curve in his face and travel down his neck and to his stomach before swiftly grabbing my hand and pausing our connection. I leaned over him, planting a subtle kiss on his lips. Just a taste of what could be, willing him to open his eyes and look at me. Just as I was beginning to back away, he pulled me back down on top of him, eyes shooting open, thrusting his lips onto mine. The spark was undeniable. I felt it from the bottoms of my feet to the top of my head. I dragged my lips from his and began a downward spiral onto his neck, lightly kissing.

Daxton groaned loudly and I knew I was getting to him. Daxton carefully placed his hands on my face, carefully tracing my scars with his fingertip.

“You are perfect.” he mumbled.

He continued his journey, trailing his finger down my neck and slowly across my chest. I whimpered at his touch. Pressing my body upwards into his hand.

“Babe, it’s getting late. I‘m starting to get tired. ” He stated firmly, looking indecisive.

“I want you to stay.” I pushed back.