Mirrored 1 : In Spades (7 page)

I went shopping and bought the most gorgeous gold dress. It held sparkly sequins all over it, very New Year’s Eve esque'. I splurged on a beautiful pair of gold peep toe pumps to set the outfit off. I loved the way it all looked on me. I was excited, even though I would never admit that much to Faith. I hadn’t been out on a New Year’s Eve yet in my adult life. Christina was all set up to watch Abby for the night and I was very ready to go enjoy myself and hopefully forget about my beautiful stranger. It seemed as if I was constantly looking for a distraction and something to keep my time occupied. These next couple of days would hopefully fly by. I was starting to become restless.

The day had finally arrived and I was ecstatic to have some time to myself. Abby and I had spent the break together and I loved the extra time with her,  but I felt a little bit lonely and needed some male attention to remedy the situation. I wasn’t looking to hook up, just some adult conversation would be nice.

Christina arrived early and the girls ordered in some burgers and fries from the little ice-cream shop down the road. I made sure they were settled in and then rushed upstairs to get ready for my night out. Faith had told me that she would be here to pick me up at eight; she figured it would be easier for us all to just ride together. In my excitement, I never even asked for my date’s name. I guess it didn’t really matter at this point. I threw on my flirty party dress and styled my hair with big messy curls. I threw some blush on my cheeks and some nude gloss, hoping to keep things as natural as possible. I liked the whole ‘looks good but didn’t even try’ concept. I gave myself the Smokey eyed look, which made my already abnormally large blue eyes stand out against my pale skin. I found that I could stomach looking in the mirror for longer periods of time lately with no flashbacks and I was thoroughly enjoying that fact. The small scars were barely noticeable, but I would always know they were there, no amount of makeup could cover up the internal scars that made an outward appearance every time I glanced in a mirror. After I dolled myself up for the night, I felt completely unbreakable. I was beyond ready to take on this night and the New Year. I felt like nothing could go wrong.

I grabbed my little black clutch and headed for the stairs. I heard the doorbell,so I opened it and was surprised at the figure standing there, Daxton.

“What are you doing here?” I asked him, completely taken aback by how drool worthy he looked.

Daxton was dressed up in dark jeans and a black button up shirt that fit his figure perfectly. I could see his arm muscles bulging and I wanted to reach over and kiss them. He had his hair styled messy with a little bit of gel, like he just ran his hand through it and left. His typical black converse made me giggle in my mind. It was unfair how perfect he could look without even trying.

“Nice to see you too, Ava.” He stated with a calm tone, but looked more than a little annoyed.

He showed up on my doorstep and he thought he had the nerve to look annoyed with me?

“Ya ya, it’s nice to see you Dax, now what are you doing here? I don’t mean to rush, but Faith should be here any minute and I have a date tonight.” I hurried through my words, trying to hide the panic I felt.

Daxton pulled his hand out from behind his back and held a single pink stargaze lily. They were my favorite, but there is no possible way for him to know that. It was beautiful and in full bloom. It looked like a new beginning, something fresh. I took it from his extended hand, thanked him shyly and rushed to put it into water. I had lost any feeling I had of annoyance in that moment.

“I’m your date, Ava. I made faith set us up. you’ve been ignoring me and I want to spend some time with you. I can’t stand to think of you with someone else. Why did you, yet again, run out on me?” He followed behind me into the kitchen.

“Lower your voice, the girls are watching a movie in the other room and I don’t want Abby to know you’re here. I cannot believe Faith set me up like this, I am going to have a word with that girl.” I smiled on the inside, happy he was working this hard for me. I did not let that reaction show on the outside, though.

“You can take all my words, as well as your own, to have with her. I would rather be mute then spend this New Year without the most beautiful girl on my arm.” He left me completely breathless. He assumed that I would actually go along with this, but I couldn’t deny his easy assumption. I was ecstatic that it was him. I couldn’t let him off that easy, though.

“Oh yeah, so beautiful, that must be the reason why rushed me out your door like an unwelcome guest the other night.” I scoffed at the memory.

“I didn’t realize you were hurt by that, Ava. I just needed to slow things down a bit. You scare the fuck out of me.” His honesty caught me completely off guard. “You are going out with me tonight, though. I’ll make it worth your while, I promise.”

I was unabashedly liking his forceful approach. I walked into the kitchen to retrieve a vase, not finding one, so I put the beautiful flower into a glass with some water. I had never received flowers before and I was a little bit sentimental while I stared at them. My mind was reeling with thoughts of how to blow off this date, but I secretly wanted it just as bad as Daxton did. I felt almost relieved to see him at my doorstep, as much as I hated not being in the know. Surprises were not my strong suit. I liked to be prepared for any situation. I wanted to be able to practice my emotion and not portray something that I may not want anyone else to know. I liked having a poker face and whenever I got around Daxton, I lost it. 

“Faith and Tripp are waiting in the car. Will you please get your cute ass over here and give me a hug. I missed you.” He motioned for me to come over, welcoming me into his open arms.

I would crawl into his body if I could. He smelled of coffee and promise.

. “I missed you, too.” I whispered against his chest

I was irrevocably and desperately falling for this man and as much as I thought I could just move on, he had corrupted a part of my brain that wouldn’t let me forget about him.

Abby came skipping into the room at the same time Daxton was leaning in to give me a kiss, just my luck. I took a quick step backwards, knocking the glass onto the floor that held my flowers and it forcefully shattered to pieces.

“Oh my god!” I was embarrassed like no other.

Abby rushed over to Daxton and gave him a high five.

“It’s about time you got here! I told you she wuvssss those types of flowers.” Abby smiled, looking extremely pleased with herself.

That little shit, conspiring against me and to think, I thought we had something special. I looked down at the broken glass surrounding my feet and it all came rushing back to me like a flood. It happened so suddenly, that I lost balance and fell flat on the floor. The room melted away and I couldn’t see Abby or Daxton any longer. Instead, I was brought back to the place I would never be able to completely forget. All of the familiar sensations ignited inside of me. I felt the stinging pain all over my body from the cuts. The blood red floor, the warmth of it and the rusty smell. I could once again hear the piercing screams and sobs from my mother. I looked down at myself, seeing tattered clothing, cuts all over my body and a broken shell of a girl. The tears slowly started to drip down my face and my heart rate kicked up a couple of notches. I saw the black pits of hell looking at me.

I could hear his menacing words. “You are nothing to me. You will never be anything to anybody else. You are unworthy of love.”

I shattered to pieces just like the mirror or wait, was it a glass? Confusion overtook my thoughts. I was in the past and present all at once, two worlds becoming one.

“You can’t hurt me anymore, you’re dead!!” I shouted out loud.

My own screams piercing my ears. Thankfully, they Snapped me back to reality like a stretched rubber band. The memory was gone as quick as it had come and I felt Daxton’s warm arms wrap around me. I sobbed into his shoulder. He was knelt down by my shaking body. Abby’s bright blue eyes were all I could see through the haze of warm tears. The present, the real present, came rushing back. I slowly climbed to my feet and backed up against the counter. I firmly placed both hands over my mouth, willing any other memories to go back down into the pit of my stomach. Daxton and Abby were both looking at me like I was a crazy person. They weren’t far off base, I was a crazy person.  Christina came running into the kitchen. She knew very little of my sordid history and never questioned the relationship between Abby and I. Christina quickly grabbed the broom from the small closet and began sweeping up the broken glass. I needed a moment to compose myself so I gave a quick excuse and headed to the guest bathroom.

I locked myself in and wiped underneath my eyes with toilet paper. I hoped that there wasn’t any black residue left over, but I‘m sure I didn‘t get it all. I couldn’t bring myself to look into the mirror and check. I finally got my heart beat regular and willed myself to stand up from the toilet where I was sitting with my knees placed beneath my legs. I felt like I could vomit. I heard a soft knock on the outside of the door. I picked up the pieces of my broken heart and willed myself to finish fixing my appearance. I pinched my cheeks giving them some color and threw another layer of lip-gloss on. I fluffed my hair up with my hands and quickly exited the bathroom. I placed my head down, so I didn‘t accidentally look into the mirror. I could not take the reflection. I ran smack dab into Daxton’s chest, placing my hands out in front of me to steady myself. He backed me up into the wall roughly and placed light feather kisses along my jaw bone. My knees began to feel weak, ready to buckle at any moment. Feeling crowded I gently pushed at his chest. He held me firmly to his body and I couldn't escape him.

“I can’t risk you running off on me again babe, you‘re good for that you know. I‘m here for you. Please just let me be.” He took his thumb and wiped underneath both of my eyes, wiping the black onto his pants.

“You’re going to ruin your clothes Dax, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what has gotten into me.” I was not ready to let him in on my dark past.

I needed so badly for him to like the woman that I was now, strong and independent. I didn’t want him to feel sorry for me because of my jaded history. I was prepared to come up with any easy lie, prepared to be questioned, but he didn’t. Instead,  he held me tight to his chest, so tight I could barely breathe. His intense gaze held mine for what felt like an eternity, before finally letting me go. My heart was being held captive already.

“You’re mine.” he mumbled under his breath, so faint I wasn't sure if I was imagining his words.

I didn't acknowledge that I had heard him, not wanting to ruin a nearly perfect moment. Deep down in my soul I knew he was right. The unbroken part of me does belong to him. I couldn’t help but wonder if that part of me was enough.

I said goodbye to my little lady and Christina and grabbed my coat from the closet. Hand in hand, Daxton and I walked to the black escalade parked in the street.

“Is this yours?” I directed my eyes to the massive truck in front of me.

“Nope, it’s Tripp’s. He’s all about the “go big or go home” motto. I personally think he’s trying to make up for something he’s lacking in other departments but I don’t want to test that theory.” Daxton laughed.

I opened the car door and began to climb in. Daxton placed a swift smack to my rump and I glanced back at him, giving him the death stare. He winked and climbed in behind me. I was in awe of the two beautiful people sitting in front of me. They were a perfect pair. Tripp was a very good looking guy and the complete opposite of Daxton, with his blonde hair and bright green eyes. The only thing that made him look like more than your average prep was his bright blue tips at the top of his fohawk. Tripp was very easy on the eyes.

“This is the man of the hour, Tripp Douglas.” Daxton introduced us. I gave a wave and polite smile.

“Tripp, this is MY girl, Ava.” Daxton made sure to put extra pronunciation on my and I couldn’t help but grin and give his hand a squeeze.

“Nice to meet you Tripp. Love the truck.“ Tripp smiled, showing a full set of perfectly straight white teeth.

I felt Daxton tense up beside me, so I made it a point to bring his hand up to my mouth and placed a soft kiss on each of his knuckles. Tripp stuck his tongue out at Daxton, showcasing his off his black barbell tongue piercing. Faith reached over and grabbed his leg and I looked away, not wanting to invade on a personal moment. Daxton threw his arm around me and pulled me into his side, placing a light kiss on the top of my head. Faith looked pleased with herself and gave me her multimillion dollar smirk.

“You and I will be talking later missy.” I gave her my best stern voice.

She just gave me a knowing look and giggled. “You look sexy Miss Thang!”.

“ You’re damn right I do, don’t look so surprised.“ I flipped her the bird and she let out a loud laugh and turned to focus her attention on Tripp.

I loved how comfortable I was starting to become around these people. Friends were something I never considered myself having but I felt like I could be myself with them. I was so content.

“Now love, don‘t turn me on in the car. I just love it when you‘re cocky.” Daxton bit down on his lip.

I reached over to run my tongue over his bottom lip and heal the marks he had left. He gripped the back of my neck and said only loud enough for me to hear.