Misguided Heart (27 page)

"You
reek of whiskey, Sloan. Are you sure you're feeling up to going tonight?" I almost had to pinch my nose, that's how bad he smelled.

"Of course, and you look good enough to eat." His hand reached for my bare thigh, but I pulled back.

"Maybe you should sober up a bit first."

He pulled back, pissed. I could tell by the look on his face that he was beyond drunk. His father was going to kill him
, and I wasn't sure I was prepared to watch that. Sloan didn't say a single word the entire car ride to the office. The car was thick with tension, and I had no clue how to fix it.  I just sat, staring out the limo tinted windows, watching the city and landscape fly past us. I was trying to ignore Sloan, but the pull I always felt to him was maddening.

We pulled up to the office building and I didn't wait for the driver or Sloan to open my door. I quickly jumped out and stood waiting on the sidewalk for Sloan to get his drunken ass out. After about ten minutes of patiently waiting, I began to get
impatient
. Just as I was about to walk in alone, Sloan's hand slid through mine, intertwining our fingers. My heart soared with every touch, but I kept myself from getting too excited. Something felt off and I knew now, more than ever, that shit was about to hit the fan.

The party planning company did an amazing job with all of the decoration
s in the small ballroom downstairs. I stood in amazement at how beautifully the room came together. There were red and white balloons throughout and an amazing paper mache banner with the company's logo across the bottom of the stage. It was beautiful and classy, just like Mrs. Holden, whom I just spotted across the room.

She looked absolutely stunning in her
long sleeved, navy wrap around dress. Her copper brown hair was pulled tightly in a bun at the top of her head and she wore a diamond-encrusted headband in front of it. She was simple, classy and elegant. Her smile was wide and bright, until she took in the sight of her son. Her smile quickly faded and was replaced with a look of disgust.

"Good evening, Dear. You look absolutely ravishing." She kissed me on both cheeks, and then held me out at arms length to take in my appearance.

"Thank you, Mrs. Holden. You look amazing, as always." I smiled.

"Oh you flatter me." She smiled a genuine smile
, until she turned her gaze onto her son.

"And what the hell happened to you? Do you no longer own a razor?" She pushed against Sloan's cheek with her fist. "I expected better from you Sloan, your father is going to be livid."

She leaned slightly in to my ear and whispered, "Please get him sobered up some before the speeches, please Dear?"

"Will do, ma'am."

With that, we parted ways and I all but drug Sloan over to the bar. "We need two bottles of water please." The bartender turned and was back instantaneously with our drinks. I grabbed the two bottles and looped my arm though Sloan's. I stumbled to an empty table and yanked him down in the chair. "Drink this, or your mother is going to kill me."

Sloan simply nodded and then proceeded to down the entire bottle of water. When he was finished
, I slid the other bottle over to him and he did just the same. After about twenty minutes, give or take, Mr. Holden was up at the podium trying to get everyone's attention.

"I just want to say sorry ahead of time."

I looked over at Sloan, perplexed. What was he talking about? Just as I was about to ask him, the room fell silent. Mr. Holden's voice boomed over the microphone and I sat back and listened, paying Sloan no attention.

"First off, I just want to thank you all for coming tonight. You all are the core of this company
, and I could never run this place without each and every one of you. So, the reason you all have been brought here tonight is for a very important reason. What seems to have been at least a hundred years in the making, is finally happening. I am proud to announce that we will be branching out and opening a new division of P.J. Holden and Son in none other than, New York City."

Everyone began clapping and I was excited to know that the company I had grown to love over the
years, was doing well enough to make it to New York. Sloan looked less than pleased with the news, but he still didn't say a word.

"Now, it took a lot of thought and consideration into who we would be sending over to head up that office, but who am I kidding, it has always been a job for my son, Sloan
Holden. Everyone give him a round of applause as he makes his way up here. Sloan, please come up and say a few words."

Sloan glanced over at me and whispered I'm sorry, one last time.

"Without further ado, my son Sloan."

Sloan sauntered across the stage, taking his rightful place next to his father
, before he began to speak. "I just want to thank my Dad for believing in me enough to afford me this opportunity. I promise Dad to do the best I can. I'd also like to thank all of you who work for us. You all make work seem far less boring, and I will miss every last one of you. At this time, I would like to announce that I will be bringing a very special person along with me to the New York office. This is someone who has been by my side since day one, and I don't think I could survive without her."

My heart was racing and the smile on my face couldn't have gotten any wider. Hearing him talking so
lovingly about me, made my insides melt.

"Ariel, I'm hoping you are ready for big city life. We are on our way."

My heart literally dropped and shattered into a million and one pieces. I don't know how I could have been so stupid. To think that he wanted me to go to New York with him was ludacris. Obviously, his little assistant meant more to him than me. The room began to spin and I could feel the tears welling up behind my eyes. Without a second thought, I grabbed my handbag and ran for the doors. There was no way I was letting him see me like this.

When I got to the car
, the driver asked if we would be waiting for Mr. Holden. I simply shook my head and ducked into the back seat. The floodgates had been opened and the tears were now steadily streaming down my cheeks.

I was a complete idiot. I had finally let myself feel something for this man, a man I knew better than to fall for, but I did
, and for what? He had been amazing towards me and everything that was ever said about him, seemed to hold no bearing when it came to how he trusted me. I honestly thought that he was falling for me too. I had visions of us in New York, what kind of flat we would live in, and where we would go on the weekends.

IDIOT!

My subconscious was right, I was an idiot and I couldn't blame anyone but myself. I knew if I went home right now, that he would most likely follow. I scrambled through my clutch, in search of someone to comfort me. From talking to Shelby earlier in the week, I knew she was dealing with Braden and his parents, so I didn't want to bother her. I went for the next available option, knowing it could potentially cause more damage than good. I was beyond caring at this point and I couldn't see Sloan, ever again.

Sloan

Well, at least that took care of that. I knew it was going to be hard, but my heart felt like it was being ripped straight out of my chest. It was inevitable that I was going to hurt her at some point, better now than later.

As I watched her run from
the ballroom, I knew I had broken her heart. As much as she didn't want to admit to me how much she cared, I knew she was falling for me. I knew this because I was falling for her, just as hard. My eyes began to moisten up as I saw the car pulling away from the curb outside.

I wanted to run to her. I wanted to run after her and ask her to go with me, to be with
me, for as long as she would have me, but my feet stayed unmoving in their place. I finished up my speech and toasted to the room full of people I had known almost my whole adult life.

It had to be done this way!

I didn't touch an ounce of liquor the rest of the night. I checked my phone at least a million times, but nothing. She was really gone, and it was my fault. I had finally pushed her too far and who could blame her? I was an asshole through and through. No matter how hard I wanted to change, that fact would always remain.

An hour after her departure,
I took my own. I told my father I needed to get home and pack for the move. He easily bought it, seeing as I was leaving in three days. Of course, the first thing I did when I got home was hopped on my bike and took off like a bat out of hell. I didn't even put on my helmet and I
never
forgot my helmet. After Alex, my helmet was my number one priority when I rode.

Tonight I felt out of sorts
, and I just didn't care anymore. All I could think was maybe I would be better off leaving this world and being with the one woman I had truly loved. My heart ached for her, or Aston, I wasn't quite sure anymore, but I didn't need to know. I just knew that the pain I was feeling was not one I was comfortable dealing with.

The freeway was a desolate road as I merged onto it. There were maybe a handful of cars traveling down it and I took my opportunity to let go. I switched through every gear
and within seconds, I was hitting a hundred and twenty miles an hour. The warm night breeze flying through my air had me mesmerized. I was starting to feel like myself again and it had been too long since I had felt that way.

I
spent the rest of the night driving around the whole valley practically. I felt the need to go to her, just to drive by and possibly see her face, but I fought against it. Instead, I ended up at the small bar with my only true friend, Ronnen. He wasn't really surprised when I pulled the bar door open. I could only assume that my mother had already called him.

"Hey asshole, so how's your night been?" He chuckled as he poured me a shot of Jameson.

"Hey dick head, my night has been fantastic, now don't ask me about it again and just keep em’ coming." I slammed the shot glass back down in front of me and Ronnen poured another, this time to the rim.

"Dude, we need to talk
, like now." He grabbed the bottle and my shoulder and pulled me across the bar. I quickly reached for my shot glass, not wanting to leave it behind. He pushed me down in one of the only booths in the bar and let me have it, just as I expected.

"Dude, I know how much you loved Alex."

"Love." I interjected.

"That's just it man, you can
’t still love something that isn't here. She's been gone for a
long
time now Sloan. Don't you think it's time you moved on? I knew Alex, and she wouldn't want to see you like this. She would have wanted you to be happy."

"How the fuck do you know what she would want?" I snatched the bottle from his fingers and p
oured myself another.

"She was my fucking cousin, Sloan. I miss her just as much as you do. She was my only cousin
, and you were the guy she loved, but she isn't here anymore and we can't keep living like she is. She loved the shit out of you man, but if she saw you doing this and treating Aston the way you have been, well I know for certain she would kick your fucking ass and take your balls as a trophy."

I sat back with shot glass in hand
and debated whether or not to finish it. I knew what Ronnen was saying was right, but it still fucking hurt like a son of a bitch. "You're right." I stated as I threw back my last shot of the night.

"I'm sorry can you say that again, I didn't quite hear you?"

"I said you are right asshole. Now don't go getting all high and mighty and full of yourself." I snapped.

Ronnen stood up and pulled my arm so I was standing with him. "Now go get your girl, man.
Because honestly, if you don't I might have to go after her myself. Your mom told me all about her and from what she said, she is one pretty fine ass piece of meat."

I punched Ronnen in the arm and then pulled him into a bear hug. "Thank you Ronnen. I will always love Alex, you know that right?"

"Of course I know that Sloan, and she loved you too. I'm sure she still does, but you have to move on. Be happy for once. Live your life with Aston and make tons of babies." He let out a loud laugh and I couldn't help but laugh right along with him.

"Alright man, I'm out of here. I'll see ya soon."

"You better!" He yelled over his shoulder, as I ran out of the bar as fast as my feet would take me.

When I approached Aston's house, my nerves had taken hold and were making me a wreck. I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to say to her, but I had to let her know how I felt either way. Her house was dark and I couldn't see a single light illuminated inside. I parked my bike
in the driveway and ran to her door. I pounded on the thick wood like I was the cops, praying that she would at least hear me out. After five minutes of constant knocking, I almost threw in the towel and headed home, but then I heard the lock click on the door. I stood back a few feet, waiting to see her beautiful face in front of me. Only, she didn't answer the door, HE did, and he was shirtless.

MOTHER FUCKER!

As his shit eating grin spread across his face, it took everything in me to not knock this guy on his ass. She would never listen to me if I did that, so I gutlessly walked away. When I was half way down the walkway, I heard her voice cut through the night air. I turned just as her eyes locked on mine. She was wrapped in a towel and I could only assume what they had been doing.