Monster (20 page)

“Right. I’m supposed to believe that? After Muscles over there dragged me across town against my will and threw me in a locked room?”

“Ferdinand can be a bit heavy-handed, I agree,” said Lotus, “but I assure you that this wasn’t an abduction, merely an invitation. Perhaps more forceful than decorum permits, but that was only because it was so important for us to finally meet.”

“You could’ve just sent a letter,” said Judy.

“Far too impersonal. Plus, I needed to talk to you. But by no means are you forced to remain here against your wishes.”

“So you’re saying I can just leave? Walk out the door?”

“That’s right.”

“And you won’t have Muscles or the fire-breathing cat get in my way?”

“Heavens, no. Although I do hope you’ll stay just a little longer to hear the nature of my proposal.”

“And what if I’m not interested?”

“That’s a bit hasty considering you haven’t even heard what I have to say. But what I plan to do can’t be done without your cooperation, so it’s entirely up to you.”

She turned her back on Judy, and rinsed the stone in the sink.

Judy glanced over her shoulder. Ferdinand had stepped aside, and Pendragon was under the kitchen table, more interested in cleaning his paws than watching Judy.

“But ask yourself,” said Lotus, “is there anything out there that you want to have? You can leave, go back to your life of confusion, frustration, and disappointment, never really understanding all the little things that will continue to happen to you. Ignorance is bliss, I suppose. But you won’t be ignorant. You’ll know. Somewhere, in the back of your mind, you’ll know. And every day, you’ll find yourself asking questions you can’t answer. But if that’s the life you wish, far be it from me to deprive you of it.”

She dried the stone with a towel and put it back in its place. Judy could feel the stone from across the room. That subtle vibration remained in her palm as if she still held it.

She leaned against the counter. “Okay, let’s say I’m interested. What exactly do you need my help for?”

“With your help, I’m going to fix a few things.”

“What things?”

“Everything. We’re going to correct the universe, ensure that everything remains as it should.” Lotus smiled, this time quite sincerely and in a manner that Judy found a touch unsettling, though she couldn’t say why. “Doesn’t that sound wonderful?”

It was always hard dealing with the regular police and the Arcane Commission at the same time. Technically, the Reds were just a special division of the regular force, the way Cryptobiological Containment and Rescue Service was a subdivision of Animal Control. There were liaisons between the departments meant to keep things running smoothly between the cognizants and incogs. But it complicated things when both were involved. Reports had to be filed for both offices, doubling the paperwork. All the magical details only confused the Blues, who were eventually happy to pass Monster off to the Reds, where he gave his statement again to a commission detective.

Detective York had an angular body and a face that was mostly beard and eyebrows. He looked over Monster’s statement from across a desk.

“And what’s your relationship with Miss Hines, again?” asked the detective.

“Friends,” said Monster.

“And why were you visiting at her sister’s house?”

“Because of the gaborchends,” said Monster.

“Yes, the gaborchends,” said the cop. “The gaborchends Judy Hines was somehow responsible for.”

“Somehow,” agreed Monster. “I know that it doesn’t make sense, but I’ve got a bag full of transmogrified goat cryptos to prove that I’m not making that up.”

“Mmm-hmm,” said York.

“I’ve got witnesses. Those two people at the Oak Pines apartments. One’s an angel, so she should be trustworthy. And my assistant, Chester.”

“Yes, we’ll look into that,” said the detective noncommitally. “By the way, the clerks in Otherworld Immigration tell me they’re having trouble locating the gnome’s nonresident work permit.”

“I have a copy at home. In my sock drawer.”

“Not my department,” said York. “You’ll have to take it up with them. Have you ever seen the persons who abducted Judy Hines before?”

“No.”

“And they said their names were Ed and Ferdinand.”

“Yes.”

“Did Miss Hines seem to know them?”

“No.”

Detective York clicked his tongue against his teeth as he read the report again.

“Okay, Mr. Dionysus. I’m going to need you to look at some mug shots, maybe get with a sketch artist.”

“Whatever. Can we just hurry this up? I’d really like to get home.”

York fixed him with a quiet stare. “I take it you aren’t worried about Miss Hines then.”

Monster said, “It’s not like we were close friends. More like casual acquaintances. Honestly, I didn’t even like her.”

York took out his pen and wrote something on the report.

“What are you writing?” said Monster.

“Oh, nothing important.”

York clicked his pen several times, then scribbled something else. He pushed his chair away from the table and exited.

When he was halfway out the door, Monster blurted, “I never said I wanted her hurt. She’s not a bad person. We just don’t get along.”

“It won’t be much longer, Mr. Dionysus.” York closed the door, and Monster heard his clicking pen all the way down the hall.

Monster glanced around the small room. The cheap table and uncomfortable chairs, the bars on the tiny windows, the large mirror along one wall. This was an interrogation room.

“Oh, hell.”

He closed his eyes and wished he could just stay invisible permanently.

The door opened. It wasn’t Detective York coming to arrest him, much to Monster’s surprise. It was another cop with a couple of thick mug shot books. She dropped them on the table and they landed with a thud.

“All these?” he asked.

“That’s what the detective said.”

“Can I at least get some coffee or something?” he asked. “I’m not used to being awake right now. I work nights.”

She passed an indifferent glance over him, not bothering to look him in the eye. “I’ll check back in about an hour.”

As she was leaving, Chester stepped inside the room. “They wanted me to take a look at some mug shots.”

She jerked her thumb toward the table and exited. There was an extra click when she shut the door, as if maybe she’d locked it. He slid one of the books across the table as Chester took a seat.

“How’s it going, boss?” he asked.

“Not too good,” said Monster. “I think I just incriminated myself.” He imagined Detective York sitting behind the glass. Monster tried not to look at the mirror. “Even though I’m completely innocent. It’s not against the law to not get along with someone, is it?”

They passed the next twenty minutes flipping through the books. Monster closed his with a slam.

“Well, that was a waste of time. Did you spot them in your book?”

“Sorry.”

Monster slumped forward, putting his head on the table. “Now they’ll definitely think I had something to do with it.”

“You can’t blame them for being suspicious,” said Chester.

“Sure, I can.” Monster stood and put his hands up to the glass. “Are we done here? Can I go home yet?”

“It might not be a great idea to antagonize the cops,” said Chester.

Monster was too tired to care.

“Why do you think those women abducted her?” asked Chester.

“I really don’t know. Doesn’t your spider-sense tell you anything?”

“I’m out of my depth,” admitted Chester. “I got nothing.”

“This is probably all just a coincidence,” said Monster, though even he was beginning to doubt that. He only told himself that because he was trying to stay out of this mess, whatever it was.

“You don’t think they’d hurt her, do you?”

“How should I know?”

Monster sat and drummed his fingers on the desk.

“Okay, let’s assume there is something going on,” he said. “It doesn’t really have anything to do with me anymore.”

“This isn’t just about you.”

Monster sighed. “Okay. Point taken. But I can’t really do anything about Judy. I’m not a cop or anything.”

The door opened and Detective York entered the room. He slid a form in front of Monster and Chester. “Sign these.”

Before putting his signature on his, Monster read it just to be sure it wasn’t a confession.

“You’re free to go, Mr. Dionysus,” said York. “I’m afraid they impounded your… car.”

Monster forced a smile. “Of course.”

“And, Mr. Dionysus”—York paused very deliberately as he glanced over the statement with a frown—“please don’t leave town. We might have further… questions.”

Monster’s smile dropped. “Yes, sir.”

He walked very briskly out of the police station with Chester perched on his shoulder. He found a bus stop bench and sat there, staring at his phone doll, trying to decide if he should call Liz or a cab.

He brushed away the blackened flakes, pieces of Chester’s scorched body, clinging to his shirt.

“Excuse me,” said a vaguely familiar voice. “Are you Monster?”

He glanced up at Greta. “No, I think you’ve gotten me confused with someone else.”

“Another golden man?” she asked.

“There are more of us out there than most people realize.”

A confused look crossed her face. The origami parrot on his shoulder should’ve been a dead giveaway, but it wasn’t hard to throw light cognizants.

“I’m sorry to bother you, sir,” she said softly.

“No problem. Happens all the time.”

She walked away.

“That’s not right,” said Chester.

“I don’t pay you to be my conscience, Jiminy,” said Monster.

“Just consider it a free service. This can’t be easy on her. She knows something has happened to her sister, but she doesn’t really get it. You know how the Reds are. They don’t bother explaining things to incogs. They just give them a plausible cover story and send them on their way.”

“Yeah, I know, but I don’t see how it’s my problem.”

“That kind of self-serving attitude is at least partially responsible for getting you into trouble. Who knows? If you’d handled Judy with more delicacy…”

“Karma, huh.”

“Karma is just a philosophical construct, a rather simplistic punishment/reward theory that satisfies your egocentric perception of your universe.”

“I was just about to say that.”

“You can dismiss my observation with levity—”

“I just did.”

“—or you can show some basic consideration and human compassion. Notice I join the terms
human
and
compassion
without irony, which isn’t always easy.”

Greta stood on the corner, waiting for the crosswalk light to change. Monster told himself the best thing he could do was stay away from her, allowing her to settle back into her comfortable obliviousness, but that wasn’t really an option. Just like her sister, Greta was obviously a light cognizant. If she’d been a full incog, then she’d be able to rationalize the magic she couldn’t accept. And if she’d been a cog, she could’ve dealt with it at face value. But, being light cog, she was stuck in a rough middle ground.

“Oh, hell.”

Monster reluctantly ran after her. He reached her just before the light changed.

“I know your sister. I was there when they took her, and I guess I kind of blew up your house.”

“My house,” she said distantly. “Oh my God, my house.”

“Now, that really wasn’t my fault…”

Greta looked through her purse. “I need to call my husband and daughter, let them know about the, uh, the thing.”

“Exploding hydra,” said Monster.

She paused and tried to absorb the idea.

“Crap. I don’t have my cell.”

“Here. You can use mine.” Monster offered his phone doll but pulled it back just as she reached for it. “It’s a local call, right?”

Chester cleared his throat.

“What? The out-of-state charges on this thing are ridiculous.”

“Monster—”

“Fine.” He handed her the doll. “But I don’t see how inflating my phone bill is going to make up for her house. Two wrongs don’t make a right.”

“Thank you,” said Greta.

She stared at the doll a moment.

“I have no idea how to use this.”

They found a coffee shop around the corner, and after Greta reluctantly accepted a clarity rune Post-it on her forehead, Monster gave her a rundown of the past two days.

“Wow,” said Greta. “It’s true, then. All of it.”

“Yes, magic is real,” said Monster.

“Not that,” said Greta. “That’s a little odd, but I can deal with it. No, I meant all the weird things in Judy’s past.”