Montana Secrets (6 page)

“I put my life on hold, my career, my
marriage!
And for what? I'm thankful you helped us after Maura got pregnant. I'm thankful you took care of my child so that Maura and I could
both
finish school and have a decent life, but you— You're just sitting here! Instead, why don't you think of a way out of this mess? Stop being such a baby. Suck it up and deal with the hand God gave you!”

Jake yanked the door open and stalked out, and Seth grabbed the first thing that came to hand and threw it across the room. The plastic mug crashed into the wall and fell to the floor. The wake of silence was deafening, reminding him all too well of what was at stake. Jake was right. He
knew
Jake was
right, but knowing it and doing something to save his livelihood from his hospital bed were two entirely different things. And though the doctors were hopeful, he still couldn't feel anything. The therapists had given up on him, walked away, so how could he not take that as a sign?

He scrubbed a hand over his face and groaned. His dad was probably looking down from heaven in bitter disappointment, and he couldn't blame him. Jake wasn't a rancher. His brother's heart and head had always been on the law, and he'd known when Jake and Maura changed their plans to help him after the accident, Jake wouldn't be able to keep things going.

The words on the computer screen blurred after staring at it for so long, but for every idea he'd come up with, he'd also thought of a logical reason to shoot it down. He'd run out of time and choices, and the only thing left to do was open his ranch to the public and hope for a reasonably quick return. But on what? What could he offer no one else did?

He hung his head low on his chest to stretch out the kinks and groaned aloud when his neck popped, easing the pressure and tension riding his shoulders. He'd tell Jake tomorrow after they'd both had a chance to cool off. See if he had any ideas on the matter. Maybe the fact he wasn't as oblivious as Jake seemed to think would help ease things between them.

 

G
RACE HEARD
J
AKE STOMP
out of Seth's room and finished drying the last of the supper dishes. Maura had taken Lexi up to read her a story before bedtime, so Grace had used the opportunity to clean up.

Jake's wife looked exhausted, and it was impossible to miss the strain between her and Jake. During her years as a physical therapist, she'd seen more than one marriage dissolve under the heavy weight of caring for an invalid, and Maura's pregnancy certainly couldn't be helping matters. Every one knew how tired and emotional women got when they were pregnant, and the situation with Seth could only be adding to Maura's upset.

Grace searched until she found the correct cabinets and drawers for the bowls and utensils, the skillets and pans. Once everything was as neat as she could make it, she folded the towels before ambling down the hall to the home office.

“Don't bother knocking, just get in here.”

Grace squared her shoulders and walked into the room, leaving the door open wide. “How did you know it was me?”

Jake sat back in the chair he occupied behind the large mahogany desk and laced his fingers behind his head. “It's Lexi's bedtime so Maura's upstairs. I'm sure she'll be down soon to play hostess, but as
she's not seeking out my company much these days…I knew it had to be you.”

“You guys are carrying a lot of responsibility that isn't yours.” She dropped down into the seat opposite the time-scarred desk and watched as Jake closed his eyes with a grimace.

“Please tell me you had a fantastic day with him after I left. Lie to me.”

“If you know I'd be lying, what's the point?”

His head lolled on his neck as he groaned. “He beats all I've ever seen. All he does is sit in that room and brood. We can't help him,” Jake muttered, “not when he won't do anything to help himself.”

Grace settled herself more comfortably on the padded leather seat and crossed her arms over her chest as she stared at her friend. “Recovery comes in stages, the first of which is wanting to fight to achieve it. And no matter how much a family might want it, the patient has to want it more. It's the way it works.”

Jake grabbed a baseball from the credenza behind him and began rolling it between his hands. “Yeah, well, in the meantime he's killing my marriage.”

“Don't let him. Whatever you do, don't let him destroy your life.”

Jake groaned at her simplistic answer. “And just how am I supposed to keep it from happening? Maura's miserable and I can't blame her.”

“Well, for what it's worth, I'm more than happy to babysit Lexi. Why don't you surprise Maura? Take her away from the ranch for a day out. Drive to Helena for dinner, maybe a little dancing. Romance her like the old days when you'd e-mail me and hit me up for ideas on what to do.”

Jake looked stunned but quickly nodded. “We haven't done anything but work since the accident. She'd love that. You're sure you don't mind?”

“Not at all. Lexi's great. Although you might want to reassure her that the baby won't replace her.”

“What?”

She laughed softly, her head tilted to one side as she filled him in.

Jake blinked, obviously dazed by the insight. “I had no—I'll talk to her. Have Maura talk to her, too. Play up the whole big-sister role.”

“I'm sure she'll like that.”

Jake frowned. “Did she say anything else?”

Releasing a sigh, she shrugged. “She doesn't understand why Seth won't play with her like he used to, but that's normal, too. A lot of children blame themselves for things that happen to the adults around them. I'm not a parent so I can only tell you what I know from psychology classes and experiences with my patients, but I think reassuring her that she's still your baby girl will go a long way.”

Jake nodded, his expression sad. “It's been so crazy around here, she's definitely gotten pushed to the side in the shuffle. God, what a mess.” He rubbed his eyes as though trying to wipe away the weariness. “Okay…we'll take care of Lex. So what about you?”

Taken aback at the sudden change in topic, she hesitated. “What about me?” She didn't like the look on his face. Before her eyes, Jake transformed from concerned dad to concerned friend in a split second.

“I know we've only talked sporadically over the years, but you want to tell me how you're holding up coming back here and facing Seth.”

Nothing like getting straight to the point. She licked her lips and tried to formulate an answer he might accept. “I'm fine.”

Jake snorted. “Here's a tip, Grace—whenever my clients get defensive, I know something's up.”

“I'm not defensive, I'm…tired. It's been a trying day.” She played with the hem of her long T-shirt. “It was such a surprise to see Seth in the condition he's in.”

“He's needed you long before now.”

Guilt surged, reminding her how many times Jake had asked her to come help Seth. She'd used every excuse under the sun to avoid the prospect, delaying the inevitable as long as possible. “Play nice
now. It didn't help you hadn't told him I'd agreed to be his new therapist,” she complained.

“Shock value?”

She wrinkled her nose at Jake's attempt at humor. “More like you avoided the battle,” she countered. “The good news is I've worked with more serious injuries than Seth's and had some success. However, I don't think I need to tell you his attitude is his worst enemy.” Shoving herself up from the chair, she walked over to a wall lined with books ranging from Montana history to art. She fingered a gold-embossed spine.

Behind her, Jake's chair squeaked. “Things will blow over soon enough. You and Seth were close once. You can be again.”

Groaning, she glared at him over her shoulder. “Jake, don't you start, too. There's nothing left and even if there were—” she held up a hand “—it wouldn't matter. It's over.”

Jake's expression was solemn. “Sorry. Guess I'd hoped that maybe you two could work through things.”

“We can't.”

“You guys argued, but I've never understood why you took things to the extreme you did.” She didn't respond, and after a moment, Jake shrugged. “Okay, fine, new subject. The, uh, docs say they think Seth can make a full recovery.”

“I agree,” she murmured, now that they were on a safer ground.

“So even though he's been difficult, you'll stick with him?”

She nodded, fingering Seth's name inscribed on one of the large belt buckles on display in front of her. Seth had won numerous competitions before his father had died, before taking over the ranch and leaving behind his carefree days for a more stable existence. But she remembered seeing him at a rodeo once, his cowboy swagger intact as he won the prize. Tall and broad-shouldered, his short dark hair covered by his cowboy hat and oh, his eyes.

Shaking off the memories, Grace moved on down the row of bookshelves, lingering over a picture of a toothless Lexi, before finding herself in front of the window staring out at the darkened landscape.

Maura cleared her throat from the doorway. “Lexi's asleep and I brought coffee. Decaf. Anyone up for a cup?”

Grace nodded as she raised a brow at Jake, silently asking if he wanted her to broach the subject of Lexi and her fears. Jake nodded imperceptibly as Maura poured them coffee and the three of them settled in for a chat.

“G
OOD MORNING, SLEEPYHEAD
. Time to rise and shine.” Grace clapped her hands and watched as Seth opened one eye but just as quickly shut it again, a foul word escaping him.

She laughed. Of all the ways she would've expected Seth to act, this wasn't what she'd imagined. Seth had always been so easygoing. Friendly and flirtatious. Tall, dark and handsome in every sense. Now, well—tall, dark and grumpy didn't have quite the same effect.

“Time for therapy.”

“I told you yesterday I'm not going.”

“Poor baby, not enough grouchy sleep?”

Both eyes flickered open at her taunt. “Are you always this irritating?”

Another laugh bubbled up before she could squelch it. He really did look fierce and she knew his expression ought to bother her more than it did. “'Fraid so. I'm an early bird.”

He snagged his pillow and put it over his face. “I'm not. Not anymore.”

“Come on,” she chided cheerfully. “Jake had to drive in and take care of some things at his office, so if you're wanting him to help you out of bed to the bathroom you're out of luck. I'm it.” She pulled the pillow off his head and they wound up in a tug of-war to see who'd keep possession.

She won.

Seth cursed long and loud.

“Gotta get stronger if you're going to toss me out, you know.” He told her where to go and she wagged a finger at him. “Now, what kind of language is that for a grown man to use? What if Lexi heard you? You want that coming out of her sweet little mouth?”

“Grace—”

She smiled. “Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't most ranchers up before dawn?” she asked as she tossed the pillow behind her. She reached out to grab his covers next.

Seth slammed a hand down on top of both of hers to hold them where they were. “I don't want to get up.”

Her brows rose, and even though her heart kicked up several beats, she didn't back down. This time with him was critical. She had to set the boundaries. Make sure he knew how far she'd go to help him. Despite the fear eating away at her con
fidence, she squared her shoulders and plunged in with both feet.

“You can't stay in bed all day,” she said, pulling.

He drew in a sharp breath. “Let
go.
”

She tugged again and all of a sudden she realized why he didn't want to get up—

He already was.

Grace released the blanket as her face burned with heat. “Oh, uh, y-your chair. How could I have forgotten to get your chair?”

Seth's chair wasn't but a few inches away from the bed, but for all the effort she put into positioning it, repositioning it and making sure the supports were at the right height, one would've thought she'd never seen a wheelchair before in her life.

“Be th-thinking about what you want to get out of our session today,” she murmured when she finally worked up the courage to face him again.

“I'm not going to therapy.” But in one quick motion Seth threw the covers off his waist and legs with a look that dared her to say a word about his…problem. “You can help me out of bed. But that's it.”

Grace hesitated—who wouldn't given the situation?—then moved into position and locked her hands beneath his arms. “On three.” She counted off the numbers, transferred Seth to his wheelchair and placed his feet in the supports. All without a word from him. Or
to him,
considering she still couldn't look at him.

Finally the silence got to her. She was an adult. She was a professional.
That
happened.

And just because it was Seth, well—

“You're not doing yourself any good sitting in your chair or lying in bed all day. You have to move around, be as active as you can so that your muscles and nerves get working again. And you need to keep your upper body strong. You should be getting yourself in and out of bed without assistance.”

“You don't want to do it?” he drawled, not bothering to disguise his intent. “Leave.”

Not for the first time she wished she could. Usually she traveled from patient to patient, with little downtime in between. She'd lived briefly in California, Ohio, New York, Tennessee and, lastly, North Carolina. If she had a break between clients, she tried to do something fun, sort of like a minivacation to unwind. But as she'd only just taken on Seth's case, she didn't have another client lined up yet and—

She wasn't quitting.

Grace swung Seth's chair around to face the bathroom and grabbed a fresh pair of flannel drawstring pajama pants and a T-shirt from atop his dresser where she'd lain them before waking him up. Without comment she dropped them onto his lap and then rolled him through the bathroom door.

“Let's get you showered.”

 

S
ETH SEETHED AT HER WORDS
. Jake or whatever
male
therapist present usually helped him remove his pants before transferring him to the seat lining his specially equipped stall, but no way was he going to let Grace perform that chore.

“I'll do it.”

“Can you?”

He grabbed the wheels of his chair so she couldn't move him any farther. “Get out.”

He'd stopped wearing underwear after the accident. All he had to do was lift himself up and shuck his bottoms.

But that wasn't easy to do when he couldn't use his legs for balance, and he didn't have a third hand to pull his pants down. Where was Jake? Had he left without helping to get back at him for their argument? “Fine. Shower. I'll be back in a little while with breakfast and we'll discuss your therapy.”

“I'm not going to therapy!”

Grace ignored his bellow and shut the bathroom door with an annoyingly soft
click.

Seth cursed and slapped his fist down on the arm-rest of his chair, swearing again when pain streaked up his arm. Stubborn woman. She'd probably stand outside until he was in the shower, waiting to find an excuse to barge in so she could humiliate him.

He glared at the door and then reached back to turn the lock. A grunt escaped him as he dragged his shirt over his head, ignoring the hamper near the sink and letting it drop to the floor. She wanted something to do? Grace could pick up after him, at least that would give Maura a break.

The drawstring of his pants hung in his lap in a loose knot. He freed the strings and shoved, tossing his upper body from side to side in the chair, inching the cotton pants down. He had to stop and rest twice, but he finally got the material out from under his butt, wondering more than once why God had bothered to keep him alive.

He shoved the pants down his legs and yanked them off his feet, sweat dripping off the tip of his nose. His arms shook, his whole body was hot. Even his legs. He leaned back in his chair, out of breath now that the task was finally completed, then groaned as he spied the clock on the wall.

It had taken him seven minutes to get his freakin' pants off.

 

O
UTSIDE THE BATHROOM
Grace watched the clock on Seth's bedside table, counting the minutes and listening closely as Seth cursed and grumbled and struggled to free himself from his clothing. Finally she heard the shower door rumbling as it slid open and closed.

Relieved that he'd finally managed, she glanced around the room and froze at the sight of Seth's rumpled bed. The sheet he'd held on to with such a death grip hung over the side, and despite her will to the contrary, her face heated.

Moaning, she closed her eyes and shook her head. How embarrassing. For them both. But not unusual, and although in some cases impotence was a problem, maybe it wouldn't be for Seth. She hoped not, but only time would tell. Spinal injuries in men could take on a number of facets, one of which was the ability to have an erection, but not the ability to maintain one.

Regardless, that was a subject she wasn't about to broach with Seth anytime soon, not if she could help it.

Noting the time, she left his room. In the kitchen, Maura gave her a sympathetic smile but didn't comment on Seth's shouting, and the woman's red-rimmed eyes said all too clearly her morning hadn't gone well, either. In surprisingly easy silence they prepared two breakfast trays, and Grace lifted one with a murmur of thanks and carried it down the hall past Seth's room. She put that tray on the card table she'd already prepared in the gym and went back for the second.

As she entered the kitchen, Grace broke the silence. “Maura, you, uh, might want to take your
breakfast upstairs and hang out a bit when Lexi wakes up. You know, keep her out of earshot.”

Maura laughed softly, the sound sad. “Going to be that bad, huh?”

Grace shrugged, careful to keep the second tray balanced. “Maybe. I honestly never know what's going to happen.”

Maura tilted her head to the side, unable to hide the tears welling in her eyes. “If he would just try,” she whispered, her hands braced on the counter. “I keep reminding myself of how much he's helped us, but we helped ourselves, too, you know? Why won't he?”

Grace tried to think of something to lighten the mood. “He'll get there. If it's any consolation I've had worse patients.”

“Really?”

She nodded, relating several quick stories about the patients she'd encountered who'd cursed her, smacked her and even spit on her. Her anecdotes did the trick and pretty soon Maura was laughing, albeit in resignation.

“So I guess Seth isn't as bad as he could be, then?”

Grace offered the younger woman a smile. “Nope. Be patient a bit longer. Maybe we'll get through to him soon.”

Maura's gaze hardened. “I hope so. I honestly
don't know how much more of this I can take.” Tears appeared once again and she turned away, busying herself with getting a small plastic plate from the dishwasher.

“I've got to get back. We'll talk later, okay?”

Maura nodded, obviously unable to speak.

Grace pushed Maura's upset to the back of her mind as she turned and carried the second tray down the hall, leaving it on the hall table outside Seth's door where it could be seen—and hopefully smelled—from within his bedroom.

That done, she reentered Seth's room and then positioned herself outside his bathroom. She heard the shower shut off and her nerves kicked into overdrive.

She didn't like these types of encounters. Never had and never would. Seth's mutterings from within the bathroom didn't help, either, because with each one she could hear his anger building as he tried to perform the simplest of tasks, things he used to do without conscious thought.

The door to the bathroom opened and swung toward her. Grace caught the paneled wood before it hit her in the face, and made sure it blocked her presence from Seth's line of vision. A moment later he emerged, his T-shirt sticking to his back and shoulders where he hadn't dried himself completely.

As though right on cue, he lifted his head, his shoulders and back taut as he noted the open door
and heavenly scent of Maura's home-cooked breakfast wafting in from the hallway.

Eggs and bacon, biscuits and sausage gravy. Orange juice and fresh brewed coffee, strong and black the way Seth liked it.

Grace's mouth watered thinking about how good everything would taste and her stomach growled loudly. Eyes wide, she clamped a hand over her belly and waited anxiously to see if she'd tipped Seth off to her presence behind him.

He hadn't heard her. But only because he was too busy cursing, having realized he was going to have to get his breakfast himself by venturing
outside
his room—which she'd learned over dinner last night was something he hadn't done since his last therapist left. He ate here, slept here. Brooded here. But all that was about to change.

Go on. Go get it, for pity's sake.

Seth's reluctance was obvious as he wheeled himself to the doorway of his bedroom and leaned forward to peer into the hall. He scowled, but a second later he crossed the threshold, his wheelchair more out than in, and she grinned.

Gotcha.

She raced across the floor on silent feet, shoved his wheelchair the few inches it took to get it completely out into the hall, slammed the door and locked it behind her.

“What the—” Seth turned, his already thunderous expression darkening even more.
“Open the door!”

She shook her head. “No.”

Seth grabbed the wheels of his chair and awkwardly swung himself around, the supports under his feet threatening to clip her ankles. “Get out of my way.”

Raising her hands, Grace stepped to the side.
Three, two, one.

A savage curse split the air. “You
locked
it? Where's the key? Give it to me.”

She leaned against the wall in a pose as casual as she could make it and shook her head again. “Nope.”

Seth's dark eyes narrowed into slits. “Is that all you can say?” he demanded. “You locked me out of my room—
in my own house
—and that's all you can
say?
”

Her gaze slid to the tray. “Your food's getting cold.”

More curses filled the air, and Grace sincerely hoped Maura had heeded her advice and gone upstairs to keep an eye on Lexi.

“Open the door and I'll eat it!”

“Nope.” She grabbed the tray, careful to stay out of arm's reach just in case. “Come on into the gym.”

Seth laughed, the sound cold, deceitful in its softness. “Why? You get your thrills out of cripples?”

She froze, completely unable to move or voice a protest.

Seth had managed to knock the wind from her. Made her want to curl up into a protective ball. The lash of his words was as brutal as her stepfather's fists. What she and Seth had shared was special to her, memorable. Tender and sweet.

Yes, Seth had wanted more, but all the times she'd stopped him, kept him from going further, she'd thought he'd understood. Thought he'd respected her decision to wait since they hadn't known each other all that long.