Montana Secrets (7 page)

Now he was taunting her with it?

She lifted her chin high before putting one foot in front of the other until she reached the relative safety of the gym. All without saying a word. Not that she could have.

How could she have been so naive? Seth was a man. Five years older than herself, and twenty-two to her seventeen when they'd dated.

Seth's griping rang loud and long throughout the hall as she set the tray on the wobbly card table. Unbalanced herself, she sat, dazed at how much Seth's words had hurt her.

Long minutes passed before she heard the push-whirl of Seth's wheelchair. She wanted nothing more than to jump to her feet and get out of there, but if she didn't stay and face him now, how would she ever find the courage?

Seth rolled to a stop inside the doorway, staring
her down for a long, breathless moment before his gaze settled on the two trays in front of her. Jaw locked, he focused on the tray opposite her as he rolled himself across the room.

“Hungry?” she asked, her voice coming out husky and drawn, more like a croak and lacking the strength she wanted.

Seth wheeled himself close to the table and ignored her, picking up his fork to shovel a bite into his mouth. The tension between them mounted, filled the air and grew until she was so tense her spine felt like it would snap from the pressure.

Snarling, he pointed the fork at her with a jab. “If you ever do something like that again, I'm going to—”

“What?” she dared softly, proud of herself when her voice strengthened at last.

His features darkened beneath the shaggy beard. “Grace, don't do this. You don't want me angry at you and I don't like being tricked. I didn't like it then and I sure as hell don't like it now. Get out of my house and leave me alone.”

“I can't. And for the record, I don't like being cursed at or accused of things I haven't done. I never tricked you.”

Seth's gaze stole her breath as she witnessed the turbulent emotions flashing in his eyes.

After a moment, after neither of them moved,
Seth seemed to come to a decision, his anger banked behind a mask of indifference. “So now what?”

Grace lowered her hands to her lap and grabbed her paper napkin, slowly and methodically ripping it to shreds beneath the table where he couldn't see. “Now we eat. Then we work together to make you better. I've gone over your file, Seth. The potential you have for a full recovery is good. Better than good, it's wonderful, but only if you can pull yourself out of this—this mood and use all that anger and frustration to your benefit.”

Seth turned his full attention to the meal in front of him, ignoring her words, ignoring her. Grace watched in amazement as he finished the food off in a minimal amount of bites, wiped his mouth and wheeled himself away from her, toward one of the two windows facing the backyard.

All appetite gone, she shoved her food away and wrapped her hands around her coffee mug to warm them. “I know you're mad about being locked out and I'm sorry about that, but I'd like you to understand why I did it. It isn't often I have a patient so determined
not
to get better, I have to resort to these types of measures. Now, since you're awake and showered and
here,
” she continued, “why not make the most of it? Let me give you a therapy session.”

“You may have tricked me out of my room but you didn't win, Grace. I haven't agreed to anything.”

“This isn't a game, but the only person who'll lose at this is you. Surely you see that?”

“I said no.”

She squeezed the mug. She'd pushed him hard today, very hard considering he'd had to accept her help to get out of bed, gotten locked out of his room and forced to the gym.
Baby steps.

“Come back over here and finish your coffee. Tell me about your ranch and all the changes you've made in the past ten years,” she offered, quickly giving him an alternative to ease the sting of his first refusal. What had she expected? A miracle on the second day?

“Why?”

“I'm interested,” she murmured, shrugging. “The addition to the house is beautiful. You…you did a good job making it all blend.”

Seth didn't acknowledge her words, and gathering her courage, she turned and found herself staring into his eyes.

Grace realized in that moment that all of her patients had the same look. Older, younger, men, women, children. In the beginning they all stared at her as though searching to find something within her that they couldn't find within themselves. Strength? Determination? Maybe. She wasn't sure. All she knew was that it required her to come up with a variety of ways to get them to open up and cooperate. Seth was simply making her do the same.

Turning back to the table, she fiddled with her shredded napkin, then settled herself more comfortably in the uncomfortable chair and waited, hoping her pose was that of patience.

Minutes passed.

“You ever have a patient like me?”

“Stubborn? Oh, yeah.”

“I meant the same injury. Did they walk again?”

She wanted to give him the answer he craved, but couldn't. She wouldn't lie. Especially not to Seth. “No. Not exactly. Every case is different, but I promise you I will do my best to help you. If you let me.”

She glanced at him again, hurting inside when she glimpsed the despair in Seth's eyes. “Tell me about the ranch,” she urged again.

“Why?”

“Want to have your door unlocked anytime soon?”

The anger returned to his gaze, outshining the desperation. “That's blackmail.”

She laughed softly. “That it is—so deal with it. Tell me about the ranch, or spend the day in here with me.”

Seth began talking.

“Y
OU, UH, WOULDN'T BE READY
for a walk, would you?”

Grace looked up as she stacked the last of her and Seth's dirty breakfast dishes, more than a little pleased with how things had turned out. Although reluctant, he'd returned to the table, drunk his coffee and filled her in on ten years of ranching. All in all, the morning had gone well.

“Everything okay?”

Maura laughed, her gaze lowered. “Not really. Even though I was upstairs, I still managed to hear Seth hollering. I thought we could both use a break.”

Grace chuckled. “Got that right. That man has a great affinity for hiding out in his room.”

“He's pretty much been there since Jake brought him home from the hospital. He gets angrier and angrier as the days go by.”

Grace lifted the trays loaded with dishes and followed Maura to the kitchen. Neither of them spoke as they passed Seth's room.

While they placed the dishes in the dishwasher, Maura explained that Lexi had been picked up by a friend and taken to town for reading hour at the library.

“So we've got about an hour and a half. Maybe two if Meghan's mom has a few errands to run. Want to get out of here before the walls close in on us?”

Despite the fatigue pulling at her from her sleepless night, one glance into Maura's anxious features wouldn't let her say no. Maybe the walk would do her good. Clear her head and help her relax. She nodded and the two of them made their way through the house to their coats hanging by the back door.

Outside the air was brisk, causing the corn stalks by the porch steps to rustle in the breeze. In the distance snow clouds layered the mountaintops and she shivered at the sight. Winters in Montana were hard and long. But instead of memories filled with snowball fights and sledding, she remembered being stuck in the house with a drunk. Scuttling out of the way as quickly as possible so as not to draw her stepfather's attention.

“I don't know how you do it,” Maura said as they headed away from the house and down the driveway. “Jake acts like it's no big deal taking care of Seth and so do you, but I feel taken advantage of sometimes. Not all the time, but sometimes. How do you
not
feel that way?”

Grace shrugged, shoving her hands inside her pockets for warmth. “Well, for one it's my job so I'm used to the way things work. I also lack the personal attachment you and Jake have to Seth, so that helps, too.”

“But you do have a personal connection to Seth,” Maura argued. “Jake said you two were
really
close once. Please stop my ranting at any time, but after seeing you with Seth yesterday and hearing the fight this morning, there's something about you that makes me think you aren't as cool as you let on where he's concerned.”

Grace attempted a smile. “Very perceptive of you.” She inhaled and sighed. “Okay, I admit it, he gets to me, too.”

Just then she caught Roy Bernard eyeing them from within the open doors of the barn. Maura didn't seem to notice the man, so she pretended she didn't, either. They left the grassy area near the house and began walking down the long driveway, a chill raking over her as Bernard continued to stare.

Maura shot her a look. “Jake and I seem to be fighting all the time now. I hate it. It's not what I want considering I'm getting ready to give birth.”

She nodded, sympathetic. No woman would want tension and chaos before bringing home a second child.

“But to be here willing and able to help, and Seth
so
un
willing to help himself! Grace, I turned down the job of my dreams at the best restaurant in Montana. And Jake—a few months back he turned down a partnership because he knew he couldn't handle the load. I can't even decorate a room for the baby because the house isn't ours. Not that there's money to do that now, anyway, with Jake's paycheck keeping the ranch afloat.”

With every item Maura listed her strides increased, and for a woman who waddled when she walked, Grace was amused to note Maura waddled pretty quickly.

“So what would you like Jake to do?”

Tears filled Maura's eyes and she dashed them away with her fingers. “That's just it—I don't
know!
We can't leave Seth. I
know
that, and I don't want to. Honestly, I don't. He's family and he needs us. And there's Lexi. That child loves him so much. She doesn't want to move at all. I know she hears us fighting, so it's understandable she's confused.” More tears trickled down Maura's cheeks. “What you said last night— She thinks I don't
want
her?”

“Maura, I'm sure she was exaggerating her fears,” Grace soothed. “She simply needs to hear you and Jake say out loud that she isn't going to be replaced. That's all.”

Maura nodded but looked unconvinced. “Maybe. I told her last night and again this morning. She
can't handle any more upset in her life especially after losing Arie. She was young, but she remembers Arie fairly well and feels the loss. Arie was her prime caregiver for two whole years and they were close. And now Seth—
oooh!
Doesn't he
see
what he's doing to her? Does he care?
No!
”

Maura turned, her footsteps slowing to a halt on the gravel and dirt. “I love how you stand up to him, Grace. Do you have any idea how much I want to go and scream at him for acting the way he is?” She laughed bitterly “Like that would help, yelling at a man who can't walk.”

Grace stopped about a foot away from Jake's wife, her head tilted to one side. “Maura, if you want to yell, yell. Don't feel sorry for him. Pitying Seth isn't what he needs.”

“But how can I not pity him? Oh, God, I feel so
guilty!
”

“For stating the truth?” she pointed out. “Don't. Guilt is normal, as is anger. You've every right to be angry and upset when you've given up so much to help Seth and he behaves the way he does.”

Maura turned and began walking again, away from the driveway to a worn path that led to a stand of tall pines. In the distance Grace heard the sound of water.

“So it's normal,” Maura muttered. “So what? It doesn't change anything.”

No, it didn't. Following her, Grace watched her footing and tried to think of something that would bolster the other woman's feelings. “We'll work together. Get Seth to realize what he's missing. Help him cope. And even yell back at him when he yells at us. Sometimes the most stoic patients have to be made to feel again. They're boiling inside because they have too many emotions to handle so they shut down entirely to escape.”

Maura was silent a moment. “When I met Seth for the first time, he gave me the biggest hug and kiss, all to tease Jake. But now Seth is—” she closed her eyes “—a royal pain in the butt!”

Grace laughed. “Agreed.”

They stepped into a clearing, the water she'd heard earlier turning out to be a fast-moving creek about a foot wide. On the other side was a cabin.

“That's Arie's studio,” Maura informed her. “That's what Jake and I fought over this morning. I come here when I absolutely have to get out of the house and want to be alone. There's a bed up in the loft, a small kitchen. We could build onto the living room and add a full bath if we got all of Arie's things out of the way like I—”

Maura broke off and Grace pulled her gaze away from the picturesque little cabin to stare at her. Why hadn't she realized? Of course Maura wanted a home of her own. She couldn't blame her. But she
also didn't want to involve herself in Jake and Maura's marriage to any great extent. Listening was one thing, but how could she offer any concrete advice about something she'd never experienced?

“It's close to the house. I mean, look how quickly we walked here. Minutes, that's all.” She shook her head. “I asked Jake to talk to Seth. After Arie died, none of us could handle coming here. It was too hard.”

“I'd…I'd forgotten she was your sister.”

Maura butted the toe of her shoe against a rock. “We didn't get along growing up. Not at all.” She turned to look at Grace, her expression sad. “I was younger than Arie, born after my mom and her dad got together. Arie always thought they favored me because of it.”

“I think most siblings feel that way at some time or another.”

“Maybe. But once Arie started seeing Seth, well, it was different. We finally found some common ground loving two brothers. For the first time, it was nice having a sister.”

Grace followed Maura as she walked slowly along the side of the creek. It hurt like crazy to think of Seth with someone else, but—

“Jake and I were engaged and we were planning to marry once he graduated, but when I got pregnant that speeded things up. Jake probably told you we both talked about dropping out.”

“Yeah.” That much she knew. When she and Seth broke up, Jake had agreed not to discuss Seth. Still, every now and then Jake would slip and she relished the tidbits of information he'd pass along.

Maura nodded, a sad smile curling her lips. “Silly, I know, but we couldn't think beyond the next nine months. Then Seth came charging up to campus one weekend because he knew something was going on. He and Arie met and hit it off and then somehow we all wound up married and under the same roof. It was kind of scary, how fast it all happened.”

“I'm sorry for your loss.”

“Arie was speeding.” Maura bent and picked up a small stone, tossing it into the water where it landed with a
plop.
“I was farther along when Arie found out she was pregnant, but it was so much fun. We laughed over body changes and moods, cravings—until she miscarried.” Her head lifted, her gaze fixated on the cabin. “She wasn't the same after that. She and Seth fought a lot, but we managed to stay close, which was great. The only thing Arie seemed to enjoy was Lexi. She loved her. Painted pictures for her and of her.”

“Lexi's room is gorgeous.”

Maura picked up another rock and ran her thumb over its smooth surface. “She finished it just before she died.” Maura swept a hand toward the cabin.
“Enough time has passed now, and if we're going to stay in North Star, I want us to move in here, but Jake won't even consider it.” Maura glanced at her, the tip of her nose red from the cold and her tears.

Not sure what to say, Grace studied the cabin closely. “It's beautiful. And it would be a wonderful home.”

Maura's face reflected her misery as she nodded, then turned and began walking away from the cabin instead of toward it, her shoulders hunched, head down.

Grace wanted to call her back to ask to see the inside and listen as Maura rattled on about Seth's wife and the changes she'd like to make to the cabin, but she quickly reminded herself about curiosity killing the cat. It was none of her business, and her motives weren't exactly aboveboard. It hurt to think of Seth married to someone else. Sleeping with her, caring for her.
Loving
her.

But considering the way she'd left him, knowing what he was about to ask, and knowing she couldn't give him what he wanted, she couldn't be jealous or upset that he'd fallen in love with someone else. She certainly couldn't blame him, especially given the time that had lapsed in between their breakup and his marriage to Arie. He hadn't gone out and immediately found someone else. No, he'd waited, fallen in love with a woman totally her opposite.

 

D
URING THE NEXT WEEK
and a half Seth spent a lot of time talking. He had to, in an attempt to satisfy Grace's demands so he could return to his room. She entered his room not long after dawn and bullied him into getting up. That done, next was the fight over breakfast and whether or not he was going to get any. As on the day she'd locked him out of his bedroom, if he wanted to eat, he had to follow her into the gym, where it had become a custom for them to breakfast together. A custom they'd fallen into after he'd refused her orders and wound up not getting any food as a result. None.

He'd made it until late afternoon before he'd got ten over his rage and unlocked the door to his room. Sure enough, right outside was a covered tray waiting for him. But to get it he had to go out into the hall where Grace waited to shanghai him.

He chuckled. Whether he liked it or not, Grace's unorthodox methods intrigued him as did her determination to help him. She kept coming back. Morning after morning. No matter what he said to her. No matter how loud he cursed or how quiet he got. No matter the games or challenges she had to throw out in order to get him to cooperate. She never gave up. Which made him more than a little bit ashamed of his behavior.

Now here he was, drawn to Grace with her full,
smiling mouth and mysterious eyes. He'd never met another woman so bossy, so irritating, so determined or so tempting in all his life.

“Go on,” Grace urged. “You were saying?”

Seth stared at her blankly, unable to remember what he'd been saying before his thoughts had taken off on a tangent of their own.

Grace was easy to talk to and he'd made a fool of himself, rambling on about the ranch, Lexi, his months at rehab and expounding on his and Jake's childhood adventures. She'd even asked him about Arie, but that was one subject he refused to discuss with his ex-girlfriend. Regardless, Grace seemed genuinely interested in what he had to say. And she wouldn't let him return to his room otherwise.

The problem was, she never opened up to him, never said anything about the past or why she'd left. They discussed casual things, unimportant things, and with every word said between them that didn't delve into their breakup and the questions remaining, the tension between them escalated.

As did her nightmares.

Every night while he lay awake staring up at the ceiling, torn between losing his land and thinking of Grace, she cried out in her sleep in the room next to his. Leading him to believe something or someone had hurt her, put the shadows under her eyes and created the wary expression she wore
when she wasn't aware she was being watched. There was a sadness about her, something he was only just realizing she'd always had, even while they'd dated.