Authors: Ashley Johnson
A door slammed outside and I looked to see Halley running towards the front lobby door. Her hair was in some sort of messy pony tail and she had on a pair of Marcus’ sweatpants and an old ratty t-shirt. The minute she spotted me, tears welled in her eyes and she dropped
to her knees in front of me.
“Are you ok Macy? I’m so sorry this happened. He didn’t….do anything did he?”
“Hell no. I fought him off Hales. He didn’t win this time. It’s over for good. I can’t believe..” I wiped the tears falling from my eyes with the back of my hand. “I can’t believe she lied this time. It was so perfect, I should have known.”
“Hey,” she said as she grabbed my hand. “He won’t ever touch you again.
Let’s get you out of here.”
Numbly I stood and walked to her car. As I sat down, I felt a ton of pressure lifted off my shoulders. I could breathe easy now.
“Oh, I called and changed my number before you got here.”
I dialed her number so she could save it. She said nothing but held my hand as she drove us home.
I laid my head against the window and stared up at the stars. Even though they were millions of miles away, there was something just so extravagant about them. Something special. As I continued to look up, all I could wonder was how can I see something so amazing and still be hurting so bad. I can’t go on without Luke, I just can’t.
“Hales, I need to see Luke. Can you please bring me home?”
She took her eyes off the road for a split second to look at me. “Are you sure?”
“I am. I miss him so much.”
We rode in silence hand in hand as I dried my eyes. I drew in a deep breath and held it in as we approached town. We passed both Gills and The Lounge. Both still had a decent crowd there, I almost wished I was in the right mind to go because I could sure use a drink or twenty after this night. Luke’s car wasn’t in sight. He must be home. Halley parked the car in front of the apartment. I couldn’t see a light on or his car but he had to be home.
I jumped out of the car and ran to knock on the door. I wish I had my keys with me so I could just unlock the door myself. Can’t believe that thought never crossed my mind.
I knocked once and waited. No answer. I knocked again and stood there. No answer. Where was he if he wasn’t here? I knocked over and over again refusing to believe he wasn’t home. Frustrated, I let myself sink to the concrete slab and leaned my head against the door. I closed my eyes and nothing but ugly sobs came out. I sure hope he wasn’t going to come home and see me like this. I rested my head between my legs and cried wondering why. I needed him more than anything right now and I had no idea where he was and he still wasn’t talking to me. I don’t care if I have to sleep out here until he returns I’m not leaving.
Halley sat beside me and laid her head on my shoulder. I couldn’t look at her, but I felt her presence.
She just sat there like the best friend she was while I cried my heart out on the doorstep.
“Mace? Let me take you back to my house and you can sleep there and we can get ahold of Luke tomorrow.”
I choked out a sarcastic laugh and looked at her with my tear stained eyes. Was this a game to her? This was my life. “No, just leave me here I’m ok. I need to see him.”
“Macy please, come sleep at the apartment. I can’t leave you here.
”
I shook my head and turned away from her. “No.”
Really, I wanted nothing more than a bed to sleep in and a place to clear my head. I was exhausted from trying and awfully tired of crying. I let go of her hand and slowly stood up. After drawing in a deep breath, I stalked back to the car with my head down and rode in silence to her apartment.
Marcus wasn’t in the living room, which I was glad for that. I didn’t want him to see me this way.
He’d seen enough when Trevor and I went through our break up.
“The spare room is empty Mace. Get some rest and I’ll see you in the morning.” She hugged me and I held her tight.
“Thank you for coming to get me.” Fresh tears began to fall and I badly had to pee.
She offered a smile and replied, “Not a problem.”
She disappeared into her bedroom and I ran into the bathroom to finally pee. I washed my hands and stared into the mirror. My face was red and splotchy, it wasn’t an attractive look. I could also see a faint imprint from the bastard’s hand when he slapped me. I grabbed a washcloth and washed my face trying to cleanse it of any memory of tonight.
I opened the door to go to the room and came face to face with Trevor.
I had bigger things on my plate than dealing with Trevor James. Silently I asked God if he hated me tonight and why the hell did Trevor keep popping up when I didn’t need him to. Trevor didn’t try to touch me or make any wise cracks. He looked at my face and concern laced his eyes.
“Are you ok Mace?”
I wasn’t warned he was here but then I didn’t exactly ask. He was the furthest thing from my mind. The fact that he kissed me that night was far from my mind, even though that was what landed me in this position. Suddenly I didn’t care though.
“I’ll be fine. I always am.” I’m stubborn and I know it. I also know I’ll most probably be telling him all about it later.
He reached out to touch my arm and I didn’t pull away. There wasn’t much strength left in me anyway. “I’m so sorry about the other night. I was drunk and I never should have behaved that way. Did I cause any problems?”
My jaw dropped at his apology. Where the hell was Luke to hear this one? I looked into his bluish gray eyes and could see the sincerity in them.
I honestly wanted to laugh, but there wasn’t even a sarcastic bone in my body right now. Did he cause any problems; well he should already know the answer to that one. “Actually yes you did. Luke won’t talk to me because he thinks I kissed you. But it’s going to be ok. I know it will be.”
“He would be stupid to let you go Macy. Trust me, I know.”
I took a deep breath as I walked past him into the room and sat on the bed. Actually it was my old bed from when Halley and I shared our apartment. My old teal comforter was even still laid out on the bed. Something familiar was just what I needed. Trevor walked in behind me and sat down next to me. He didn’t try to invade my space or touch me; he respected all boundaries which I was pretty proud of him for.
“You know Trevor, I really hated you for a while but I don’t think I can anymore. I can’t walk around with that. I’m ready to forgive you.”
A hint of a smile shown on his lips as his eyes met mine. “Macy, that’s the best thing I’ve ever heard. I know we will never be anything again but just knowing this makes it ok. Can I ask you something and you please be honest with me?”
“Uh, yeah. What is it?”
“Please tell me why you called Halley tonight. Is it because of Luke?”
Silently a tear fell down my face as I locked eyes with him. “No, I haven’t talked to him since the bachelorette party.
I um didn’t go home that night. I called my mom. She and I had dinner a while back and she said she left Ray. I needed somewhere to go so Paul brought me to her. We had a good visit. I finally had her back.” I ran my fingers through my hair and took a deep breath. “I was watching TV and he came inside the house and tried to attack me. I dialed 911 and fought him off me until the cops arrived—“
He suddenly threw his arms around me in a hug and began rocking me.
I didn’t fight it, I didn’t push him away. I let him. For once I felt at peace in his arms. There was no sexual tension at all, just a friend comforting another friend. Just what I needed.
Chapter 14
Trevor held me for another minute or so until I had no tears left to cry. He pulled away and looked into my eyes. “Are you going to be ok tonight Mace?”
I let out a weak smile. “I just want to sleep. I will be fine.”
“I’m right outside on the couch if you need anything.”
I smiled and watched as he walked out the room and shut the door behind him.
If someone had told me at least two years ago that Trevor and I would go through all the ups and downs we had then this would happen and we turned out to be friends, I would have laughed in their face. Truth is, he knows me. Probably better than I want to know myself. He was there first hand to hear about everything. I know he cares which is more than I can say for Luke right now.
I lay there staring at the ceiling for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually I threw my teal comforter over my head and closed my eyes trying to go to sleep. I needed sleep, I was exhausted but my body wasn’t responding like it needed to. It was far out of reach and it’s all I wanted.
I tossed and turned for an hour. I really missed Luke’s arms holding me. Were we over? Was that something I really would never have again? No. I can’t imagine that at all. I closed my eyes to keep my tears that threatened to fall at bay
I walked into Gills that night hoping to get drunk and forget all about Trevor’s stupid mistakes that tore us apart. Moving on easily was pretty much second nature to me by this point in my life. No matter how terrible the situation, I was strong. Strong on the outside, but no one could really see the inside where I grieved.
Sometimes it felt nice to walk into these hole in the wall bars where no one knew you. Yeah I recognized a few people that came into The Lounge but that was it. We didn’t know each other enough to strike up a conversation. We didn’t know each other enough for them to know my past.
A song came over the speakers and my eyes lit up. Dance music, ohmigod! Two shots later I was grinding my hips to the beat on the dance floor. There were no worries on my
mind; I was lost in the music. I felt someone place their hands around my waist. I snapped back to reality and almost walked off. But I didn’t.
I turned to meet the most gorgeous pair of green eyes I’d ever seen.
The song ended and I groaned. Time for a drink. He followed me to the bar and introduced himself as Luke. Hello Luke I thought to myself. I didn’t admit it at first, but my life changed that night. He was just supposed to be the distraction…something to get my mind off Trevor. But he was more, so much more. And that kiss, oh my, it was electrifying. He brought his lips once more to mine ----
“Macy are you ok?”
Halley’s panicked voice filled my room and I sat up abruptly. My sheets were soaked with sweat. Ugh not again. Her face was full of fear as she sat beside me.
“What happened Hales?”
She continued to just look at me and placed her hand on my arm. I looked past her to see Trevor standing there too concerned. “You were thrashing in your sleep and screaming. It was like an angry cry. Trevor came and got me.”
My eyes were swollen from
crying; only I hadn’t realized I was crying. All I remembered was the dream. Luke. That’s what I remembered. Was he done with me? Were we over because of a misunderstanding? Did he throw our future away just like that?
“I had a dream and Luke, he was there and ---,” I had to stop or else the tears would fall again.
Trevor sat on the other side of me and grabbed my hand. “It was just a dream Mace. Lie back down and try to rest.”
I looked into his eyes and responded, “I don’t think I can. My life is over.”
Halley pulled me in for a hug and held me as I began to cry. My heart was hurting more than it ever had before. I hated this feeling.
“Mace, your life isn’t over. You have me and Gary.”
“I have Will too.” I sobbed.
Halley looked at me with a confused look. “Who is Will?”
“Oh, that’s Paul from The Lounge. He’s Will and I’m Grace.” I wiped my tears as I sniffled.
Trevor raised his eyebrow and let out a small chuckle. I looked at him daring him to make any kind of smart ass remark but he never did.
Instead his eyes filled with concern again and he brushed my hair from my face.
Halley helped me lay back down. I didn’t fight her, I just let her. If she hadn’t I was bound to stay up longer. She placed my comforter over me and then lay on top of it beside me and held my hand.
“Everything is going to be ok Mace. I promise.”
“Will it?” I whispered.
“I know it will.” She replied through a yawn. Trevor still sat on the bed watching to make sure I was going to be ok. He leaned over and kissed my forehead before walking out and going back to bed.
A few minutes later I was back asleep.
I awoke when the sun shined through the blinds. Geez. Why didn’t Halley have curtains in here? My head was pounding from all the crying I had done. I grabbed my phone to check and see if by some miracle Luke had tried to text or call but there was nothing. Paul had sent me a text though and it instantly brought a smile to my face.
“Grace, I can’t wait to see you!” Those seven words made me feel a little better.
I did a double take on my phone and also saw it was almost noon. Shit, I don’t remember the last time I slept this late but after the night I had, I definitely needed it.
Slowly, I sat up and made myself get out of bed. I made my way to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. My stomach growled and I knew if I didn’t eat soon, my head would start hurting more.