Authors: Ashley Johnson
Before we made our way down, Trevor linked his arm with mine and looked into my eyes. “I’m so sorry Macy. About everything I put you through.” He had a sincere look in his eyes that I could not deny.
“Hey, we’re good remember? All that is past us and I forgive you.” I squeezed his arm with my free hand and then we turned to face the doors and put our biggest smiles on our faces as we made our way down the aisle. It really was a little sad to think that this was supposed to be us one day. We were pretty freaking cute walking down the aisle if I must say so. I saw Gary sitting in one of the pews and he smiled as we walked past. Paul sat three rows in front of Gary and he blew me a kiss as we walked by and I winked to let him know I caught it. And to think just a few weeks ago I was stressing about this simple walk. We reached the point where we split and he stood beside Marcus while I stood by the flower girl waiting on Halley to make her way down the aisle.
The wedding march began playing and the doors opened. Everyone stood as Halley and her father made their way towards us. I looked over to see Marcus who hadn’t stopped smiling since he saw her. She was lucky to have met him and I knew they would be happy forever. When her father gave her away and she finally met Marcus and they linked arms, I felt a small tear trickle down my cheek.
I’m a sucker for weddings, I can’t help but cry. There’s something just so beautiful and amazing about it, knowing you’re vowing to be with the love of your life forever. The pastor said a few words and then she turned to hand her bouquet to me and they began their vows.
I don’t know what she was so nervous about, she repeated everything perfectly and didn’t leave any room for error. They both looked giddy like little kids up there, it was so damn cute.
After the vows, the pastor looked at the congregation and announced, “I know pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.” Everyone clapped and cheered as Marcus dipped Halley and gave her a big ol kiss. I had to laugh because I knew he did that to take some of the nerve away from her. She was grinning as she came back up and as they were announced as Mr. and Mrs. Marcus Walker, they made their way out of the church with the flower girl and Trevor and I behind them.
After they signed their marriage license, we all had to stick around for another few minutes while we all took pictures. Everyone else headed over to the reception hall that was around the corner. Halley told me we were having champagne to drink. I’ve never had champagne but I didn’t care what I had tonight, I just know I needed to have a good time with Paul.
About a thousand pictures later, we all went and met everyone at the hall. The tables were covered with pink tablecloths and vases of white roses sat in the middle. There was also a little bowl of dinner mints on each table. Lights lined the dance floor and the stage that I would be singing on later. Halley’s cake was pink and white with a hint of raspberry in the middle. For her topper, she simply put a ‘W’ on it for Walker. Marcus’ cake was a set of drums. I don’t know what bakery she found to do that, but it looked amazing and probably cost her a pretty penny.
The DJ announced when Halley and Marcus walked in. I hugged Trevor
to thank him and made my way towards Paul who stood there waiting with a flute of champagne. I took a small sip to taste it and to my surprise it was actually pretty good. Champagne wasn’t something I’ve drank before; I tended to go for the hard stuff. Unfortunately the flute was small so a few sips later it was gone and I was one a second one.
Halley told us that she wanted to cut the cake before they had their first dance so that everyone could eat and enjoy themselves. They both tried to slam cake in each other’s faces and neither really succeeded but it was a sight to see. Halley ended up with cake in her hair more than in her face and Marcus had it on his tux. I was now on my third flute and Trevor walked up and shook his head. “You better watch out, that shit will hit you fast.”
“That’s the plan didn’t you know?” I laughed and he rolled his eyes as he walked off making his way to the buffet.
Paul came walking up with a plate of meatballs and cheese. I took one of the green toothpicks on his plate and stabbed a piece of cheese then popped it in my mouth. I love pepper jack cheese. The next thing I stabbed was a meatball and I shoved that in my mouth before any barbeque sauce could drip on my dress, especially since I have to sing in a few minutes.
“Thanks Will, that was delicious.”
“Well, I’m so glad I could serve you. And just so you know, that was for me not you.”
He was actually glaring at me and I burst out laughing. “Aw, well you’re the best.”
“I know I am.” I playfully smacked his arm and then stole another piece of cheese.
You know it’s not a wedding reception unless the play Sir Mix A Lot. ‘Baby Got Back’ came over the speakers and I grabbed Paul’s hand leading him to the dance floor. A few other people who weren’t eating joined us in our little booty popping session. Halley just looked at me and laughed.
When the song was over, the DJ announced that Mr. and Mrs. Marcus Walker needed to get ready for their first dance. That was my cue to step away from the cheese and meatballs and to take a few more sips from my flute.
I handed Paul my flute and he set it on the table beside him. “What are you singing Grace? Anything good or do I need to plug my ears. Please tell me it’s not Boyz II Men. I don’t want to have to drag you away from the stage again.”
What was I doing thinking he would actually forget about that incident? It was not my finest moment at all and I know I will never live that one down no matter what I do. I could sing the national anthem with a nasal head cold and he will still bring up the time I sang that damn Boyz II Men song.
“Nah, I think your ears will be just fine. It’s a surprise though. Who knows, maybe I’ll break out my Boyz II Men collection since I rocked it last time. Let me go get on stage and when I’m done, the real party begins.” I winked at him and walked over towards the stage.
Usually I’m not nervous and I mean I really am not now, but I just feel weird. I can do it though. I can sing all day long and not lose my nerve. It’s just the music, it always has been.
It’s always held me together and mended what was broken. I know this song by heart too. I love it and it means a lot to me. I’ve loved this song well, since the first time I heard it. It drew me in and I knew I would sing this one day to the man I love and here I was getting ready to sing it to my best friend and her husband. Well I don’t think it means too much right now since I don’t have anyone.
I stood on the stage in front of the microphone as the song began to play. Halley and Marcus stood alone on the dance floor and began their first dance. ‘I Won’t Give Up’ by Jason Mraz was what Halley wanted me to sing and I closed my eyes as I began singing
it word for word. That wasn’t good on my part because all I saw was Luke and me. I wasn’t only singing for Hales, but I was singing to Luke even though he wasn’t here. I vowed to myself that I would not mess this up at all. This wasn’t about me right now even though in a way I felt it was. Halley would never forgive me if I screwed up her wedding. Halfway through the song, I willed myself to open my eyes and I looked at the two of them dancing and they looked so perfect. Marcus whispered something to her and she dipped her head back slowly laughing at whatever it was.
I saw Paul smiling at me and then his expression turn puzzled.
He stood there just watching me and left me trying to figure out if I were making crazy faces while I sang, or maybe I was off key. I had no idea what he was trying to tell me so I just continued to sing. I looked to where his eyes landed and Luke was standing in the corner of the room wearing a pair of black slacks and a pink button up dress shirt. I blinked my eyes to make sure he was real and it was really him. I took a deep breath as I finished the song. My voice was not allowed to quiver or show any emotions other than those in the song. I made eye contact with him as I sang the final words praying he would realize that I was singing this to him. I hadn’t given up then, I surely wasn’t giving up now. I’d fight for him until the end, until he finally pushed me away and said he’d had enough. It wasn’t over yet, the final count hadn’t been completed.
Chapter 19
I noticed Trevor from the corner of my eyes walking over to Luke. Crap. Please don’t let them start anything here.
Not at this wedding, not if I have anything to say about it and trust me I do. I’d kill both of them with my bare hands and plead insanity afterwards.
As the song ended, everyone clapped and Halley smiled at me and mouthed a thank you. I returned the smile and made my way down from the stage. What was Luke doing here? He hasn’t talked to me since that night and all of a sudden he pops up?
Yes I know he was invited, but he was invited as my guest and we weren’t even speaking.
Paul grabbed my arm and pulled me off to the side
away from the guests making their way to the dance floor. “Trevor went to tell him nothing happened that night. Don’t worry, he won’t do anything stupid and I don’t think Luke will either. I’ve been keeping my eye on them.”
I was still trying to figure out why he was suddenly here. I wasn’t complaining at all, I missed him to death.
I’d give anything right now to run up to him and throw my arms around his neck and just pretend none of this ever happened. “Thank you Will. I want to go talk to him; I’ll be right back ok?”
“Go get him Grace.” He winked at me then gave me a hug.
I held onto him for a minute not wanting to move away and take those steps. What if this was a big mistake and he was really here to just end it all now? I’d kill him if he did that at this wedding.
Finally, I
took a deep breath and made my way over to where Trevor and Luke were standing. They were talking, I could tell that much. From what my eyes could see, no one had hit each other yet and it was pretty safe to say no one was going to throw a punch. I grabbed a flute of champagne off a table and downed it before setting it back down.
“Man, I’m so sorry for all this misunderstanding but she didn’t kiss me. I was drunk and selfish, that’s no excuse but I just wanted you to hear it from me. I know we have a history but I know she loves you and I wouldn’t do anything to fuck that up.” I walked up to hear that Trevor was actually being honest with Luke. Luke
stood there patiently listening. He didn’t seem agitated at all; he seemed more relieved I guess you could say since he was hearing it from someone else.
I don’t know what else was said before I walked up but having heard what I did, I leaned in towards Trevor and touched his arm. “Thank you Trevor.”
He smiled at me as I wiped the tear that threatened to fall down my face and walked off leaving Luke and I standing alone. This was pretty awkward, I wish Paul would walk up and stand by me but I knew I needed to handle this by myself. The last time I tried to talk to him though left me in tears and a door shut in my face.
We stood there in awkward silence. Neither of us knew what to say. I looked over towards where Paul stood and Halley was now by his side. They both smiled encouraging me to take care of this. I’ve tried though. I’ve tried countless times and it’s gotten me nowhere.
My heart wants to keep trying but I’m just utterly exhausted, I don’t know if I can do this. My thoughts were interrupted when Luke spoke up first. His voice was soft as he began to speak.
“Macy, I uh, I don’t even know what to say. I’m sorry.” His eyes were full of pain and it hurt me to see him in that situation but I clearly remember me saying those same words and he didn’t care. I love him though so much I can’t stay mad anymore.
“I needed you Luke. I needed you so bad and you weren’t there.” All the hurt hit me at once and every tear I fought back today came rolling down my cheeks at once. He tried to reach out for my hand but my instinct said to pull it back and I did. “Do you know what I’ve been through in the last few weeks?”
“No I d---.” He tried to answer but I cut him off. I didn’t want to have to practically relive that night but I wanted him to know what happened because if he hadn’t left me that night outside The Lounge, none of that would have ever happened.
I would still be living my happily ever after instead of this hell.
“You’re right you don’t. Let me fill you in. I called my mom that night because I had nowhere to go. I stayed a
day trying to get my head straight thinking you would talk to me but you wouldn’t. All you told me was you couldn’t do this. Did you really think I would do that to you? That I would hurt you after everything we’ve ever been through? You can answer me now.” I hate when I hold everything in because when I can finally get it out, it’s like a volcano exploding. Everything I touch burns in the process but I finally get out what I have been holding back. He put me through hell.
“I don’t know what I was thinking Mace, all I saw was
his lips on yours and I got pissed.” He stuck his hands in his pockets and then pulled them back out and rubbed his head.
“My mom and I actually had a good visit. Thanks to you.” I had to stop because the tears were coming back.
He reached for my hand and I let him take it this time. I needed him right now just as much as I needed him then. He led me into the hallway away from the noise of the reception where we could talk. I stared at the ground wondering why I even opened my big mouth. He lifted my chin up and looked into my tear streaked eyes. “What happened Macy? Please. Talk to me. I know I fucked up. You have no idea what I’ve put myself through this whole mess.”