Authors: Ashley Johnson
I took my drink from his hand and noticed Trevor walking off stage towards the restroom. Quickly, I took three big sips and placed the glass on the bar and motioned to Paul that I had to pee. I even managed to work up a potty dance. Dammit I was going to go to hell for this. In the back of my mind I kept reminding myself this is why I didn’t drink much anymore.
I disappeared behind the wall and I could see Trevor walking towards the men’s room. I ran my fingers through my hair and adjusted my boobs. Reason was trying to make its way forward but it wasn’t working. My brain was foggy and my eyes weren’t really seeing clearly. His shirt looked blurry from where I stood. I blinked my eyes several times trying to see a little better but it only made it worse.
Trevor’s hand went around the doorknob and before he could open the door, I grabbed his hand and pushed him against the wall. He was totally caught by surprise and just stared at me. His eyes appeared to be red and puffy. Had he been crying? I couldn’t tell.
I hated seeing the pain that he held in his eyes.
“What are you doing Mace?” As I looked into his eyes, I could see the same tears that threatened to spill down my cheeks just moments earlier. I ran my thumb over his cheek and towards his lip. As it ran across his lip, he closed his eyes and took in a deep
ragged breath.
“I’m not doing anything. Are you ok? I’ve never seen you like that on stage.”
“I, uh, it’s not important. My birth mother found me and wants to talk. It’s just a lot to take in right now.”
Without thinking I leaned in and pressed my lips against his, slowly working them until his lips parted.
This kiss felt like we picked up right where we left off. Right before Taylor came around and ruined everything and for a moment I wasn’t sure if it was butterflies or all the liquor swimming around in my stomach. Suddenly Trevor pulled his lips off mine and threw his hands in the air.
“Macy, no we can’t do this. Why did you do that?”
“I thought you wanted to kiss me.” I stood there with my doe-like eyes trying to work whatever charm I may have left. In the back of my mind I knew it was a mistake. A big one at that.
“Mace I won’t be the cause of anymore of your problems. You love Luke
, you said he proposed to you. I will always love you, that’s something I can’t change no matter what but things are better this way. I see that now. Trust me I’d change the past if I could but I can’t. I would have never slept with Taylor and ruined us. You and I are friends and nothing more. You can’t just kiss me because you’re drunk. I shouldn’t have kissed you back.”
I took a step back and looked at him as a tear escaped my eyes. “I’m so sorry Trevor.”
I placed my hands over my face and stood there. I should have listened to reason, why I didn’t I’ll never know.
Chapter 17
Oh no, I’m going to be sick. Why did I just do that?
I turned and went in the women’s bathroom and threw myself down in the stall where Halley sat the night of her bachelorette party. I hung my head over the porcelain toilet dry heaving for a minute or two and when I never threw up, I got up and threw some cool water over my face. I stared into the mirror and I swear my reflection was pointing at me and laughing. What an idiot!
I took a deep breath and cautiously opened the door hoping Trevor wasn’t there anymore, but he stood there with
his back against the wall and his hands crossed over his chest.
“Mace, before you run off please listen to me.”
I didn’t want to look at him but I had to face this. I had no choice because this time I started it. “I’m sorry Trevor, I shouldn’t have done that. Shit, I don’t know what got into me.”
“Don’t think I didn’t want to because god I did. But you and I both know this will never work again. We had our run
and it was amazing. It was the best time of my life, but you love Luke, I know you do and you know you do. I’m ok with that. Yeah, it hurts like hell but I won’t stand in the way of you being happy. That would make me a total dick and I’m trying to be better. We have to let each other go. You’re going to marry him. That’s how this is supposed to be.”
I knew he was so right, I knew it and I was glad he was being the voice of reason. My voice of reason was drunk and being defiant just when I needed it to be on top of its game.
I let a tear escape and run down my cheek. I wasn’t really sure why because he was so right. If I hadn’t been drunk and stupid, the kiss would have never happened. Maybe I needed to turn my phone on and call Luke but it’s not like he could know I actually kissed Trevor. Then he really wouldn’t believe me about that night when nothing happened.
“No one can know Trevor. Please. I don’t want things to get awkward and gah I’m so freaking stupid.” I slammed my hand into my forehead and stood there trying to figure out how to keep this from everyone.
“Look at me Mace. No one is going to know. I won’t tell a soul, this never happened. If we’re friends I need you to trust me again ok?” And for some strange reason I trusted him and I seriously prayed I wasn’t screwing things up even more.
He held his hand out for me to shake and I reached out and accepted it. Just as he smiled and began to turn to go into the restroom, Paul came and pulled me away bringing me back to reality.
“Girl, you got to come dance. Halley’s been looking all over for you.”
“I had to pee, let’s go.”
He started pulling me back towards the dance floor and stopped suddenly looking me dead in the eyes. I kept mine locked to his so he couldn’t see through me and pick up on what I’ve done. Just as he was about to speak Halley ran up and grabbed my other arm and led me to where she was dancing. I decided to smile and trust Trevor one more time in my life.
The lighting on the dance floor was intensely warm or maybe it was all the alcohol in my system but I still continued to grind my hips to the beat and by the time the song was over, I had
beads of sweat forming on my forehead.
My first good decision of the night was going to get a bottle of water. Paul took it from me in mid drink to satisfy his own thirst. Marcus met up with Halley and gave her a kiss. Tonight he wouldn’t be staying at home since it was the night before the wedding. He and Trevor were staying in Trevor’s new apartment he got when he decided for sure he was staying in town. I hadn’t seen it and didn’t really plan on it.
We weren’t going to be that good of friends. Crap, we never went to the reception hall so I really hope someone else took care of it because after this none of us will be. Well maybe Halley. She didn’t look too bad off.
Trevor came walking in our general direction and winked at me
. Our secret was safe. I let out a small smile and yanked my water back from Paul.
Paul glanced at Trevor then at me and shook his head.
“What Will? I see that look on your face.”
He glanced another time in Trevor’s direction and then locked eyes with me. I tried my best to stare him down and get his mind off whatever he was up to but it wasn’t working. He and Halley were a little too much alike.
“So all I’ve ever heard was you hated him so much and now you two seem a little buddy buddy and you were down the hall with him a few minutes ago. There’s a story there and I know there is so spill it Grace.”
Defiantly I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. I could play tough. I could be like one of the desperate housewives and keep my own secret. But then I remembered that Paul has been there for me for so much more than he understood and I at least owed him to fill him in on Trevor.
I grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the bar where we sat beside each other on the stools. I turned to face him and began my story. “Ever since I moved to this town, I was in lust over Trevor James. It was everything about him. His eyes, that smile, oh god that hair. His arms as he held and played the guitar and his voice coming through the microphone….”
I snapped back to reality when Paul cleared his throat rather loudly and clapped his hands. Startled, I looked up and finished the rest of the story. “I’d stayed away from him all that time because that’s the only thing my uncle asked of me. Apparently during one of my drunken escapades, I gave him my number and we hung out once. I knew it was a mistake so I stopped it before anything started but then he chased me.
And before we knew it we were in love and Gary was alright with our being together. I got pregnant and we were engaged and right before I lost the baby, he cheated on me and I refused to stick around. He even got a tattoo and came to show me. I just, I refuse to be that girl and I told him that. I couldn’t see him or talk to him for a while and he moved away. He recently came back and well that’s what caused my problems with Luke that night that Trevor tried to kiss me. Now we both realize nothing will ever happen between us. It was young stupid love.”
Paul’s eyes got wide as he looked at me then back at Trevor and back to me again. “Grace, I would have never believed that if you hadn’t told me. You and rock hottie? Was the sex good at least? He looks like he would be amazing in bed.”
I smacked Paul’s arm and laughed. He was being absolutely ridiculous. “Gross Will! I don’t feel comfortable answering that but if you must know, yes it was amazing. Everything we had once was amazing but I found all that and more with Luke and God, I miss him so much.”
I did. Everything I did reminded me of him.
Every little thing and it was pathetically horrible. He should have talked to me that night and everything could have been fixed but no, he didn’t and I was still hurting. I was so tired of hurting.
I frowned for a moment until I realized that Paul was looking at my rather sympathetically and I snapped out of it. I took another swig of water and jumped up off the bar stool. “I’m
sorry; I shouldn’t have asked you that. I wasn’t thinking.”
I smiled as I looked at Paul.
“No, don’t apologize for anything it’s not your fault.”
I powered my phone back on and saw that it was now a little after midnight. Shit. Where was Halley? I know she had all kinds of appointments set up for tomorrow. Knowing her she would have someone torturing our eyebrows and putting a million bobby pins in our hair. I tried to convince her to let me wear my h
air down but she wouldn’t hear it. She kept reminding me this was her day not mine. And it’s totally cool that it’s her day but I don’t want to have to be digging pins out of my hair for days.
Halley and Marcus were talking by the dance floor and he leaned in to kiss her. Trevor popped up beside me and leaned in to where I could hear him, “We’re about to head out. You and Hales need to too so you two can get some rest.”
“That’s exactly why I was walking up here. Be careful and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He reached out and placed his hand on my shoulder. I jumped for a second, I don’t really know
why; there was no electricity in his touch. “Hey, I meant what I said about earlier. Please don’t worry. I know you Mace and you won’t let it go.”
“
Its fine Trevor, now go before I decide to talk myself into tripping you down the aisle tomorrow.”
He burst out laughing and Marcus waved by as they walked off. I linked arms with Halley as we met up with Paul by the bar.
I pulled my phone back out my pocket to realize that Luke never tried to call again. Bummer. We headed out to Paul’s car and he drove us to Halley’s. I gave him a hug and he told me he’d see me tomorrow since he was my date after all.
I made my way to the bathroom so I could wash the bar off my skin. I scrubbed for a minute or two until I was sure I was squeaky clean. I wrapped my hair in a towel and walked out to find Halley sitting in the kitchen with a bottle of wine and two glasses. Geez, I thought I’d drank enough tonight but how many times does your best friend get married. Ok, well maybe don’t answer that. This was her first wedding though and I knew she had to be nervous. Hell, I was nervous for her. Marriage was a big deal for anyone.
I watched her as she sat at the table. She had a glow about her but she had a somber look at the same time. She opened the bottle and poured us each a glass of pink moscato. I sat across from her and took a small sip. It felt good on my lips and I licked them to savor the taste.
“I can’t believe I’m actually getting married tomorrow.
I’m kind of scared. What if I trip going down the aisle? Or I can’t get my vows right? How are we supposed to kiss I mean do we just peck or French in front of everyone? Ohmigod, what if I can’t go through with it? What if he changes his mind? What if this changes everything?” Her eyes were moist with tears that hadn’t fallen yet.
I reached across the table and held her hand. Best friend duties called and I was here to answer. “Hey Hales, relax ok? Everything is going to be ok. You’re going to be the most beautiful bride ever. Marcus isn’t changing his mind I can promise you that. Have you seen how he looks at you?” She looked up at me as she wiped a single tear from her cheek. “I can’t wait to stand beside you tomorrow as you take this step in your life and then we’re going to have so much fun at the reception. Nothing is going to change I promise.”
I smiled at her offering her reassurance and she gave me a weak smile back. “You think so Mace? I’m just so nervous.”