More Than Famous (Famous #2) (26 page)

“Would you mind spotting me? I want to get started. It’ll make it more realistic for filming.”

“Sure. No problem.” He nodded and grabbed the bag.

I immediately began attacking it. “Ugh!” I delivered the first hit with my right hand, harder than necessary, and then another with my left.

“Whoa, save it for the film, dude.” The look on his face was concerned. “Is something up with Brook? I haven’t seen you two together since we hit set and she’s been holed up in her room and not hanging with the rest of us, like before.”

It was the first chance I’d had to speak to him since I’d arrived. “Uh…” I hesitated, but continued to hit the bag over and over. My heart rate began to elevate as I beat the hell out of the bag. Ethan was solid and holding it firmly. “I haven’t really talked to her yet.” My chest was heaving and I was beginning to get winded. Still, I kept hitting.

Ethan’s expression was incredulous. “What? Really?”

The hair on my forehead and back of my neck was plastered to my skin, but I felt a prickling sensation and something made me turn to glance behind me. Brook was walking onto the sound stage and toward the set.

Fuck! Did I want her to watch this? Probably not.

Focus!
My mind was screaming at me.

"Okay, places, guys,” Martin said, unnecessarily. Brook took a chair behind Martin, and although I kept my eyes down, I could feel her gaze burning into me.

I sighed, shook my arms and bounced in place even though I was already warmed up. Ethan glanced at Brook, who was talking to Martin and then back at me. His eyes were knowing as they met mine, but he didn’t ask any further questions. Thank God.

The two supporting actresses in the scene took their places a few feet away. They were pretty, outfitted like those Barbie girls who make going to the gym a fashion show rather than a workout. I’d seen one of them on set of another film, but the other was unknown to me.

“Okay, roll film." I turned my attention to Ethan who crouched and grabbed the bag again, then took another deep breath. "ACTION!" Martin yelled from off side.

The scene unfolded with Ethan’s character goading mine that I should take advantage of the opportunity the two girls were presenting as I worked out. The sexual tension and frustration manifesting inside me was right on, it’d been so long since I’d been with Brook, and I was able to channel it into the scene. I knew Brook was watching and it pissed me off. Each blow to the bag was harder and harder.

Remember you’re Ryan, not Cade
, I thought. Ethan began his lines as Ryan’s brother, Aaron.

"Looks like you've got a fan club," he murmured and nodded over his shoulder toward the two actresses ogling us. 

"Stupid bitches," I grunted between punches, adopting the American accent that was now second nature to me.  "After four years, you'd think they'd get a damn clue."

"They
are
hot," Ethan said. 

Exertion was setting in and I was sweating profusely. I stopped to wipe the sweat out of my eyes with the towel around my neck as the script dictated. It was awkward with the gloves on, but they were starting to burn.

"Hadn't noticed," I said and continued with more blows to the bag.

"Ryan, come on.  Julia's been away all this time and I love her dearly, but you're a guy.  Guys have needs.  It doesn't have to mean anything and they’re certainly willing."

I didn't say anything, but hit the bag harder, still.  Ethan was jolted and readjusted his stance. 
The script, the script, the script,
my mind screamed
. Don’t look at Brook!

"And now... you seem so miserable.” Ethan continued with his lines.  “Maybe you need to cut loose a little."

"That's what I'm doing," I said through clenched teeth while I kept pounding the bag with all my strength.

"You know what I mean."

"Don't." I ground out.

"You're leaving here in a couple of months.  God knows you need it.  You're ready to blow, brother.  Julia doesn't remember. She wouldn't have to know."

"Aaron, I said that's
enough
!"  I yelled, easily channeling my real emotions.  I was so pissed I felt like my body would fly apart.

"Ryan..." he began, but I shoved the bag with such force that he stumbled back and nearly fell.

"
Shut up
!  Just shut the fuck up, Aaron!"  I felt Ryan’s rage and pain as I felt my own.  "I'll smash your Goddamn face in if you say one more word, do you hear me?"

Ethan’s expression was incredulous and his voice became as elevated as mine. "I'm just looking out for you!  I see you suffering, you asshole! You're killing yourself!  You better think twice before you threaten me little man, because I'll take your. Ass.
Out
!"  Ethan came toward me and shoved me in the chest.  The fight was choreographed, but I found myself using more force than I needed to and soon Ethan fell.

He sprawled backwards onto the mats as tears welled in my eyes. 

"Noooo!" I screamed at him. "Maybe it's in you to fuck around on Jenna, but I will never do that to Julia!"  The two actresses moved in closer in observance of the script, their eyes wide and mouths hanging open as I thundered at Ethan.  "It is
impossible
for me to even think about anyone else!  You know that so just shut the hell up!  It would kill us both, for God's sake!  I'm in
love, damn you
!!  So much I can't even fucking breathe.  She's all I want!  She means everything and I just want her back like we
were
!"  I was yelling and my chest was heaving.  I stumbled back and began to turn from him, still on the floor, staring up at me with a stunned look on his face.  "
She's all I want
," I said more softly, defeat and heartbreak lacing my tone.  “Brook is all I want!”

“Cut!” Martin said loudly at the same time Ethan said “Shit, Cade! That would have been perfect.”

“
Bloody fucking hell! Just edit the fucking thing!” I said and ripped at the laces of the gloves. My eyes were blurry and I couldn’t tell if the sting was from sweat or tears, but my chest was tight and I couldn’t breathe. I felt claustrophobic and I needed a break. “I’m not doing that scene again!” I ripped the gloves off and dropped them where I stood, my eyes searching for a pair of blue ones.

Her face was so pained, and I remembered that look from Tokyo and tears were raining from her eyes. Jennifer and Wendy were both standing near her, and Jennifer put a hand on her shoulder.

"Brook," I choked out, trying desperately to keep my voice even, but my throat ached and all I wanted was for all of these people to disappear so I could make things right between us. I moved toward her without thinking but she put up a hand to stop me.

“I can’t…” Her voice caught on a sob.

My face twisted in pain as I recognized that tone in her voice.

My heart was squeezing within my chest, the heat burning the back of my neck as I felt my skin flush, and my heart pounded loudly in my ears.

Her face dropped and crumpled as she struggled for words, her shoulders slumped and she shook her head brokenly. "I… can’t do this," she said so softly I barely heard her.

I looked at her defeated form and chastised myself. She was broken and for what? I caused this. It was my fault. I should have swallowed my pride in Japan and straightened it all out.

Brook was visibly shaking, tears running down her face. "Don't," she whispered achingly. "Please don't do this." She took a step toward me, her tortured eyes rose to mine as her arms reached for me. She'd said the same damn thing as she lay on the bed in Japan. “I can’t go through it again.”

Jesus, I want to take the pain away.

Her mouth opened to speak but no words came out. She looked up into my eyes and I could see Brook in those eyes. Brook's eyes, not Julia's.

My mind flashed to the hotel room in Tokyo when I told her we were done, the worst mistake of my life.

She was lost; her eyes went blank for a moment and my face softened. I hated seeing her pain. I couldn’t bloody stand it.

"Why?” she whispered, tears still falling softly from her eyes.

Dear God.
My heart pounded so fast I thought it would fly from my body, and my eyes burning with unshed tears.

She was sobbing and falling to her knees, her hands came up to cover her face as she cried and cried; her sobs so intense that there was no sound, only the violent shaking of her shoulders until she gasped loudly for air and fell to her knees.

My heart was breaking as I watched. My throat ached and my heart felt like it would fly from my body.

"Cade, I ca—can’t take this." She was gasping for breath; her voice was softer now, but so tortured. I knew I wasn't breathing. “I can’t be near you like this.”

The cast and crew stood motionless around her.

I couldn't take any more. I walked quickly to her, unbelieving she was falling apart in front of everyone. The studio suits would be furious, but they were the last thing I was worried about. My focus was on her as my arms wrapped around her and lifted her to her feet. She melted into me, her hands clutching at my shirt, still sobbing. I drew in a deep breath and despite the situation and the eyes on us, she was in my arms and that was all that mattered. It was like a weight had been lifted off of my heart.

"Brook, my love... it's over." I tried to soothe her but she was lost to me, deaf to my words as she continued to cry softly now. My hands brushed her hair back and cupped her face.

"Brook!" I said sharply. 

When she didn't respond, I gathered her up in my arms and strode off the sound stage and out into the lot toward the trailers. "It’s going to be okay, babe. I'm here and I've got you." Her arms crept around my neck and she snuggled against my chest as her shaking lessened slightly.

The entire cast and crew stood with mouths agape as they watched me carry her across the lot. I strode past Wendy, and Jennifer and both of their faces were stunned, Jennifer had tears in her eyes.

"I guess he really
does
love her," Wendy said astonished. I heard their conversation as I passed.

"Where
the hell
have you been for the past year and a half? You'd have to be freaking blind not to see what's between them, Wendy. You just didn't want to believe it." Jennifer sounded incredulous.

I kicked my way into Brook's trailer and settled on the couch with her in my lap. I tried to soothe her by rubbing her back and kissing her forehead. It reminded me of the time when she'd cried on the prom set of Twilight last year.

"Oh Cade..." she sobbed against me.

"Shhh, Brook. I'm here with you, love." My arms tightened around her and my heart leapt when she said my name.

"I've missed you so much. I just- I can't do this
without you
. I tried, but now that you’re here, I... I can't," she cried, a new set of sobs racking her slender form.

"Oh, sweetheart, you don't have to. You never did." I kissed her sweet mouth. "I've been half alive without you," I breathed into her hair. "I love you, Brook," I whispered, "more than anything."

She pulled back and looked into my face with her teary eyes and shook her head. "No. I-I can't. I need us to be like we were last year before we... " She sniffed and pushed at my chest. She looked into my stunned face and shook her head. "Before, you... we—"

"Are you telling me to
pretend
I don't love you?" My heart hardened. "That we never..." I shook my head in disbelief and ran a frustrated hand through my hair.

"Everything that's happened has hurt so much, and I'm - I'm scared. I, I don't want to go through that again. Loving you like that, it hurts too much. I lost myself, and then I lost you.  It left me empty inside but you were my best friend, and I need you back like that." She was so shaken I wondered if she even knew what she was saying.

"You're so important, and that part of our relationship was safe." She was rambling, on and on. "Maybe we can only be friends, but I can't lose you completely." Her voice broke as she brought the back of her hand to her mouth. "I-I know that now." She raised her liquid blue eyes to mine.

I felt my lips tighten into a firm line. "Brook. The point is-I don't even
know
what happened or why you've shut me out since January. Why did things change between us? We were
so
happy."

“Wendy…” she began.

I set her on the couch and stood up, took a few steps away as anger welled up inside me, and then turned back to face her. "I was
never
with Wendy.
Never
!" I yelled at her and she flinched. It shook me out of my temper.

Oh God, what was I doing? I didn't want to hurt her more. This was not the direction I wanted this conversation to take.

I knelt in front of her and took her face between my hands, brushing her cheekbone with my thumb. "I've been in
Hell,
Brook, just...
bloody hell
these past months
,"
I said urgently, but softly.

Her hand came up to touch my face of its own volition, the sadness pouring out of her eyes. The touch of her soft hand settled me a little, but my mind was still conflicted. She rested her forehead on my cheek.

"Love," I said, my voice rough, thick, "I know you're upset right now, so maybe it would be better if we talked tonight, where we can be alone and uninterrupted. I really, really need for you to tell me why you're so sure I was with Wendy so I can address it and get to the bottom of it, okay? I was
not
with Wendy, Brook. For you to even think I would do that to you, rips my bloody guts out. You know how much I fucking love you." My voice broke and my thumb continued to stroke her cheek as I looked deeply into her eyes. "I would
never
hurt you like that. It would be worse than hurting myself." I was so emotional, I felt my throat start to choke off and my eyes prick with unshed tears.

There was a knock on the door. "Are you guys okay? We're all getting ready to leave. The cars are waiting," Wendy called.

Leave it to Wendy to put a fucking exclamation point on what this was all about. At the sound of her voice, I could feel Brook's body stiffen in my arms. She pushed off the couch away from me and ran both hands through her hair, clutching at the scalp. Her features were pained.