Conner felt the dizziness, the weakness, but managed to hold on long enough tolook down at Peter, whose eyes widened.
Yes, you sonofabitch. You shouldn’t have shifted back to human so quickly
. Peter began the swift transformation to wolf, but not swift enough. Conner bit down hard, ending Peter’s life. He felt no remorse for killing a lupine. This wolf was a traitor to the pack and deserved to die.
He let loose of Peter’s lifeless body and stumbled, barely able to keep on all fours.
Wetness seeped down his chest and he fell again, this time unable to get back up.
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He searched the forest for Katya but didn’t see her. He’d die if she wasn’t all right. He still hadn’t told her he loved her. Dammit, it was important that she knew how hefelt.
Later. There’d be time to tell her later, right? Now he was tired. His world shifted
and went black.
* * * * *
“Hurry. Get him upstairs,” she ordered, thankful that even unconscious, Conner’s body had known to shift back to his human form. Treating him would be much easier without having to search through thick fur for injuries.
Noah met her at the foot of the stairs. “What happened?”
“It was Peter. He brought the hunters in. Conner and Peter were fighting and Peter shifted back to human. One of the hunters shot Conner, thinking a wolf attacked a human.”
Noah nodded and reached for his brother, carrying him effortlessly up the staircase. She read the panic on his face, the same panic she knew was reflected in her own.
Chantal met them at the top of the stairs, blinking back sleep. Her eyes widened asshe spotted her brother. “Oh, God,” she whispered, her eyes filling with tears. “He’sbeen shot?”
“Yes,” Katya answered, taking Chantal’s hand as they headed to the bedroom.
Guilt stabbed at her. How could she have been so careless as to let this happen? Why did Conner step between her and Peter? If he hadn’t, she’d have easily skirted the bullet and hidden, or attacked Peter herself. She knew she would have sensed him before it was too late.
“Lay him on the bed,” she directed Noah, jerking the coverlet back while Noah set
his brother onto the mattress.
Having a lupine doctor on hand was a blessing, since the nearest hospital was in Bucharest. Besides, they could not explain a gunshot wound to the hospital staff there and the trip would take the better part of a day. Conner could be dead by then.
The pack physician, Mikail, followed them to the bedroom and immediately set towork checking Conner’s injuries. Katya stood at the side of the bed, trying not to panicat the sight of so much blood pouring from the wound on Conner’s chest. The doctor worked on him for what seemed like hours. She paced, but all she really wanted to do was curl up in a ball on the bed next to him and hope she wasn’t going to lose someoneelse that she loved.
No. She refused to think of either losing him or of loving him.
Love is a fantasy. He is a good partner. A strong alpha. If he dies, you will find another.
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Mountain Moonlight
It was the mantra she had repeated to herself over and over since the moment she realized her emotions for Conner ran much deeper than she wanted them to. Stayingremote made losing him easier. If only she could convince herself to be that heartless.
She glanced down at him. So pale, his lips nearly blue, his chest rising and falling with supreme effort. Her sense of hearing picked up the bubbling rattle of his breathing,as if he was drowning in the thick, flowing blood filling his lungs.
Her gaze flitted over to Noah. He frowned, looked almost angry. Deep lines etched his forehead and she knew he was as concerned as she was. But he hadn’t said a word. Just stared down at Conner, looking more like he wanted to strangle his brother.
Chantal held tight to her hands as if she was her only lifeline. Katya squeezed back,
not knowing what to say to offer comfort.
Mikail stood and turned to her. “The bullet just missed his heart. In that respect, hewas very lucky. However, he’s lost a lot of blood, and his left lung has collapsed. He needs a chest tube. Katya, he needs more than what I can do for him.”
The bleak look on Mikail’s face told her more than she needed to know.
“He’s going to die, isn’t he?”
“I don’t know.”
Noah cursed and turned on his heel, his fists balled up at his side. He left without a word. Chantal let out an anguished sob and rushed out of the room after him.
She felt their anguish, but could do nothing to help them. Her heart fisted in pain, so unbearable she nearly dropped to her knees. How could this have happened? She couldn’t have found him only to lose him so quickly.
Not again. Please, God, don’t do this to me again.
“He is lupine, Katya,” Mikail said. “You know we recuperate much faster than humans.”
Suddenly shivering, she wrapped her arms around her middle and shook her head.
“You said he needs more care. More than what his healing powers are capable of.”
Mikail stood. “All we can do is watch him for the next twenty-four hours, see if his
body is strong enough to repair itself. Sometimes the damage is too great, as you
know.”
Yes, she knew. She’d watched her parents die, knowing there was nothing she
could do to save them.
Mikail left, promising to come in every hour and check on Conner. He leftinstructions for two of his assistants to take turns watching over him and to alert him if there were any changes.
But she couldn’t just sit here and wait for him to die, watch his breathing slow more and more each hour until he just…stopped.
No! She wouldn’t go through it again! Never again. Pushing past the woman who’d entered the room to sit with Conner, she hurried down the stairs, ignoring theconcerned looks from the people lining the staircase and standing below.
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She couldn’t speak to them, couldn’t tell them that their new alpha had sacrificedhis life to save hers. She brushed past them and hurried through the door, running toward the woods at the end of the path. Inhaling the pine scent, she began to strip as soon as she stepped into the forest, then shifted, running nonstop with no direction in mind.
While she ran for her mountains, she practiced hardening her heart against losing Conner. Actually, she barely knew him. It would be easy to get over the loss. It wasn’tthe same as her parents. She didn’t rely on him, he hadn’t been around that long.
She hadn’t even told him she loved him.
Finally out of breath, she tipped her snout up and howled at the morning sun coming up over the horizon. The changing from night to day, season to season, year to
year.
Life went on. But Conner wouldn’t.
And she’d get over it. Strength had always been her salvation. It had seen her through the death of her parents, it would see her through the death of her husband.
The wolves of the Carpathians surrounded her, one by one moving slowly toward her, their heads bowed, their pain evident.
They knew what had happened, and they cared. They hurt. Despite the fact theydidn’t even know Conner, his pain was their pain.
They felt. Something she had tried to deny, but could no longer hide from.
Loving someone meant taking the risk of losing them. She had to face the pain, to feel the love she’d tried so hard to deny.
The humanity within her took control and she shifted, falling to her knees and sobbing for what she was going to lose. The wolves stayed close, lying down beside her and watching her with mournful eyes.
“I love him,” she whispered to them. “I love him and I don’t want to lose him.”
They didn’t respond, but she felt them within her, giving her the strength she needed to face what was to come. Her time of cowardice was over. It was time to go
back and hold her husband’s hand, to will him to recover, or stand by his side until the
end.
The sun had climbed nearly overhead by the time she made it back to the castle, dressing quickly and hurrying up the stairs. Inhaling deeply, she was determined to face whatever happened in there.
Noah and Chantal were in there with Conner, their faces as grim as they had been when she’d seen them last. Her gaze flitted to her husband, and she fought back tears asshe saw how deathly pale he had become.
“No change?” she whispered to Chantal, sitting down beside Conner.
“No.”
“Have you called your parents?”
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“Yes, but I told them not to come. There’s not enough time for them to get here. If he survives, they can come then. If he doesn’t, there’s no point.”
She didn’t question Noah’s decision, just nodded.
“I had to leave,” she started, feeling the need to explain to them why. “I was afraid of losing him. I didn’t think I’d be able to face another loss of someone I loved.”
Saying the words made her feel more the coward than ever. She dropped her chin to her chest, ashamed to look at them.
Chantal squeezed her hand. “We understand, honey. Besides, there’s nothing any of us can do right now except wait. It’s up to Conner now.”
She nodded, but the remorse didn’t lessen. Her place was by his side. Comforting him, encouraging him to heal. Instead, she had run away and hidden, afraid to face reality like an adult.
It was time to grow up.
“Conner, listen to me,” she said, sitting down beside him to hold his hand. “You need to heal. Tell your body to heal. I need you.”
The words spilled along with the tears, but this time she didn’t run. “I love you, Conner Devlin. Don’t you dare leave me now. We’ve gone through hell together in such a short period of time. That means we have a destiny, a purpose. I need you to survive, to use your strength to heal. Come back to me, love. We have babies to make, a dynasty to create.”
She sat by his side until the sun had shifted into the western sky, slowly lowering and bringing on the night. The moon was still full, shining in through the windows ofthe bedroom, its silver glow reflecting off Conner’s deathly white complexion.
Long after she had made the others leave, she sat there, talking to him. Sometimes cajoling and teasing, sometimes crying quietly, and other times railing at him,screaming at him to find the strength within him to fight it off.
She would not lose him!
Fearing he’d drift away from her if she wasn’t there watching him every second, she kept her vigil, unable to eat, sleep or leave his side. Chantal finally came in and forced her to get up and stretch, promising if there was any change while she showered and got something to eat she’d let her know immediately.
Knowing that his sister had as much right to be by Conner’s side as she did, shetook her advice. After showering, she slipped into the kitchen and found Noah there,downing a glass of ale.
She nodded to him, then fixed herself a sandwich, automatically preparing one for him, too. They ate side by side at the table, never once saying a word to each other.
No words were necessary. They both knew what the other felt. When they finished eating, she washed the dishes and dried her hands on the towel. Noah was right behindher when she turned around.
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She fell against his chest, sobbing. He wrapped his strong arms around her and held her, stroking her hair as she let out the pain tearing her apart inside. When shefinished, she looked up at him and said, “I love him so much, Noah. I’ll never survive if I lose him.”
Was that moisture glistening in Noah’s eyes? He set his chin firmly and said, “Youwon’t lose him. He’s strong. He’s fighting this, Katya. That’s why he’s still with us. Go back up there, hold his hand, and tell him how you feel. He needs to hear it.”
He kissed her forehead and she hurried back upstairs.
“Anything?” she asked Chantal.
“Nothing. I’m sorry. I need to go make some phone calls.” Chantal stood, then hugged her tight. Katya drank in the support of his family, needing it more than shecould ever tell them.
“Are you okay?” she asked Chantal.
She nodded. “I’ll be fine. He’ll be fine. I know he will.”
“That’s what Noah said.”
“He’s right. Believe it. We know our brother. He’s too damn stubborn to die.”
She managed an encouraging smile for Chantal, then turned to Conner as soon as
Chantal left the room.
Still pale, but did it seem as if there was a little more color in his face than there had been this morning, or was she just imagining it?
When she sat next to him and slid her hand within his, it felt…warmer. Still a bit chilled, but definitely more heat than the near-deathly cold temperature of earlier.