“I can’t believe you’re not cranky. I’d be cranky if I hadn’t seen my honey since Monday night.”
“We’ve talked. Every day. Sometimes twice a day.” Gwen checked to make sure she had all the ingredients out for the frosting. None of that cream cheese stuff for her. This was old-school red velvet frosting. Flour, milk, butter, powdered sugar and vanilla. Every time she made the cupcakes everyone always wanted seconds. It was the only thing her family consistently complimented her on.
“Talking is nice,” Holly said. “Boinking is better.”
Gwen shook her head. “You need a man, my friend. You need one badly.”
“Don’t I know it.” Holly got up from her stool, came into the kitchen, and went straight to the fridge for a drink. She liked diet cream soda, and Gwen kept it on hand for her, even though she didn’t care for it much. Now she also stocked Heineken. Each time she opened the refrigerator door, she thought of Paul.
“I was thinking of trying one of those on-line dating services,” Holly said as she put ice in her glass. “I’ve heard some impressive stories.”
“Why not? So many people use them these days. It seems like a good investment.”
Holly went back to the bar stool and climbed up. She was in boys gym shorts and an old scrub shirt she’d picked up at a yard sale. Her voluminous hair had been pulled back into a crooked ponytail. She looked great. Why she didn’t have someone in her life was a mystery. Holly had it all. Personality, smarts, kindness, compassion. But then, as she’d seen with her own eyes, love was not sensible in the least.
“On the other hand, there are distinct advantages to being single. I could go on a trip at a moment’s notice. I can spend my Monday nights at trivia, see every movie I like, even if it’s cartoons and eat crackers in bed. Being with someone else means a lot of compromises.”
Gwen nodded. “Yeah, all that’s true. When you love someone, though, the compromises aren’t difficult. Because you want that other person to be happy.”
Holly put her glass down on the bar. “Aren’t you the woman who wouldn’t sleep at Alex’s because he kept the thermostat too low? Who refused to go to any Will Ferrell movies, even though he went to see your foreign films?”
“Yes. But we both understood that I was a bitch.”
“That’s arguable, but let’s put that aside for a second. What I want to know is if you’ve fallen in love with Paul.”
“How did we get from Will Ferrell to this?”
“Answer the question, missy!”
Gwen turned her back to hide the smile she couldn’t suppress. She wasn’t sure why she’d hesitated to confess all, except that she hadn’t told him yet. Not directly. And she had no idea if he felt the same.
“You are. You’re in love with him. Holy crap. This is major.”
“I didn’t say—”
“You didn’t have to. How long have we known each other? I can read you like a book, and honey, you’ve fallen. Does he know?”
She turned back to face Holly. “No. The subject hasn’t come up.”
“Why not?”
“Because it hasn’t. Besides, I’m not even completely sure.”
“Hmm, now I always thought love was like pregnancy. Either you are or you aren’t.”
“That’s a fantasy.” Gwen checked on the cupcakes, but they had another five minutes to go. “I think love is different for each person. Sometimes it hits with a wallop, sometimes with a touch.”
“Which one is it, then?”
Gwen sighed, realizing Holly wasn’t going to let it go. Besides, if she couldn’t talk about it to her best friend, then what? Left to her own devices, she wouldn’t have invited him to her bed. “Both. I can’t believe I’m even saying this out loud, but I got it last Saturday night. I realized what I was feeling wasn’t a crush, but the real deal. You’re right about missing him. It’s been hard. The bed feels really empty.”
“Do you think he loves you back?” Holly asked, her voice soft and solemn.
“Don’t know. Hope so. I know he likes me a lot. That he feels good when he’s around me. It’s not that simple. Whether I think about them or not, there are still really huge issues. None of that has changed. Look at this week. He’s been slammed with work, a different function every night, and I keep dodging him. That can’t go on.”
“So go with him.”
Gwen sighed. “I can’t. Not yet. I’m too scared.”
“Sweetie, it’s not just fun and games anymore. You have your heart at stake. His, too. You’re just going to have to step into the arena. Personally, I don’t think it’s going to be a gigantic issue. But you have to see for yourself.”
The timer went off. As Gwen went to the stove, she had to admit her friend was right. Next week, she would do it. Step off the high dive with no guarantee of the landing.
INITIALLY, PAUL THOUGHT the ringing was his phone. He reached for his cell on the nightstand, cursing whatever idiot was calling him on a Sunday morning. When he opened the damn thing, there was no one there. He tossed it on the bed, then lunged for the lamp. Through his wince, he looked at his alarm clock. It was a quarter to ten. That’s when he recognized that the ringing was his doorbell.
“Who the hell…” He got out of bed and went downstairs, not bothering to put on any clothes. He wasn’t going to let anyone in, so his boxers seemed adequate. The tile floor of his foyer was cold but his anger warmed him.
He’d been up late. After a long night that had kept him in Hollywood at the Kodak theater, he’d come home and picked up yet another book Gwen had challenged him to read, and hadn’t gotten to sleep until near three. He’d planned on sleeping late.
He got to the door and looked through the peephole. “Autumn?”
“Come on, sleepyhead. Open the door.”
He hadn’t seen her since the party at Chateau Marmont, and God, he didn’t want to see her now. Groaning, he unlocked the door and let her in.
She kissed him on the cheeks, then took in his attire. “Plaid boxers? I had you pegged for silk or nothing.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Is that any way to say good morning on this beautiful day?” She was dressed in low-rise jeans, a skimpy red T-shirt that bared her perfectly flat stomach and sprayed-on tan. Her hair was down around her shoulders, spilling around her beautiful face.
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m stealing you. I know you don’t have plans. I spoke to your secretary on Friday, who then peeked at your planner, so don’t try to fool me. We’re going to a barbecue.”
“Autumn—”
She put two fingers to his lips. “I owe you a proper thank-you for rescuing my sister. After the barbecue, I have a big surprise in store, so hurry, hurry. There’s no time to lose.”
He bit back a sharp reply. He hated Autumn’s tone about Gwen and it was a great temptation to tell her he hadn’t done the rescuing. In fact, it was the opposite. Instead, he said, “It’s too early. You go to the barbecue and call me when you’re done.”
“Absolutely not. I happen to know you’ve had a hellish week, that what you need is some real R & R. Don’t argue because I won’t take no for an answer.” She moved back to his front door. “I’m going to wait in the car. Don’t be long. We’re going to have such a wonderful day.”
He opened his mouth to say no, this time more forcefully, but she shut the door in his face. He stared at it, wondering what she would do if he just went back to bed. Eventually, she’d leave, right? She’d get mad, and that would be that. It was a pretty nice solution, but one that probably wouldn’t work. If he hadn’t met Gwen, he wouldn’t have cared, but now he had to end things with Autumn nicely.
Although he’d rather tell her goodbye over a drink, this would have to do. They’d eat their hot dogs or whatever and he’d find a quiet place to end it just before they left. It wouldn’t be fun, but these things never were. Actually, with Autumn it shouldn’t be that bad. They’d never slept together, and he knew for a fact she saw a lot of guys, so it wasn’t as if they’d promised each other a thing. Still, Autumn would pout. She wanted all the boys in the schoolyard to pull her pigtails.
He dragged himself upstairs and climbed into the shower. He’d have liked to linger under the spray, but Autumn had never had much patience. So he got dried, got dressed, brushed everything he was supposed to and headed toward his fate, using the time to practice his speech. How it wasn’t her, it was him. Complimenting her greatly on her beauty and personality. It would end eventually, and then he could come back home and take a nap.
As he climbed in next to her, he asked, “What’s all that?” nodding toward the package and basket in the backseat.
“Stuff for the barbecue.” She drove the way she got through life, as if the road belonged to her alone and anyone in her path should have known better. It seemed unreal that he’d wanted her so badly. Like someone else’s life. It said, he supposed, a lot about his values. His old values. “Where are we going?” he asked, more anxious than ever to get this over with.
She turned to him, ignoring the road and all the other cars. He put his hand on the dashboard and his foot on his imaginary brake and hoped his death would be swift. Finally, she paid attention to driving again. “I’m not going to tell you. You need some surprises in your life. Let this be the first of many. I’ve got a whole bunch planned for us today.”
“I don’t like surprises.”
“Everyone likes surprises.”
“Autumn, I mean it—watch out, that light’s red.”
She laughed as they crossed the intersection to the sound of horns honking and people cursing, his own choice words joining the chorus.
How on earth had Gwen and Autumn come from the same parents?
CONSIDERING THE SIZE of Gwen’s family, it was odd that there were only two in her parents’ kitchen. Next to her, working on the deviled egg platter, was Virginia, the housekeeper, who’d been with the family since Gwen was a kid.
It was past eleven. The invitation had been for ten, but most of her clan liked to make entrances, so it was a staggered business.
Her father was with her brother-in-law, Harry, one of the birthday girl’s parents. They were preparing the barbecue grill, although she couldn’t imagine why there was such a big discussion. It wasn’t as if they had to light anything. The behemoth gas grill was part of their outdoor kitchen, the one her mother had designed after watching a lethal dose of home improvement shows. There was a brick pizza oven, a fridge, a wine cooler, an oven, even a rotisserie. Everything was done in stainless steel and granite, and her parents used it probably twice a year.
Well, it didn’t matter. It was their fun, their home. They seemed happy, and she hoped it was so.
A couple of the kids were in the pool, splashing under the waterfall, while their parents sipped their Bloody Marys. Gwen couldn’t see them, but she heard most everything. The splashing, the loud exclamations of how great everyone looked, and how amazing it was that Nickie was one already.
It was nice. For the first time in ages, none of them could get to her. All she had to do was step back and wish them well. It was no skin off her nose if they wanted to spend all their time obsessing over clothes and skin care. In fact, she hoped all of them were delighted with their families and their jobs.
“Those cupcakes look great, Gwen.” Virginia shifted one of the decorated treats on the three-tiered platter. “I made my niece one of your red velvets for her graduation. Everyone loved it.”
“I’m glad. I can never make it unless I’m going somewhere. If I had them in my kitchen, I’d eat every one all by myself.”
“Is that Autumn?”
Gwen listened, and yep, there was her sister’s laugh wafting in from the front door. “I haven’t seen her in a while.”
“She doesn’t come by here much. She spends so much time out of the country now. Your mom worries.”
“I doubt she’ll be flying much longer. It’s about time for her to pick one of her fabulous men and settle down.”
“I hope she gets someone who’ll treat her well. She can pick some doozies.”
Gwen smiled. “Every once in a while, someone fabulous sneaks through.”
Virginia shrugged. “That had to be when I was on vacation. Anyway, I’m gonna take this first batch of appetizers out there. How about you work on the salad?”
“No problem.” Gwen got out the big cutting board and rinsed the chef’s knife, ready to chop a mound of fresh veggies, feeling quite snug in the kitchen.
There was Autumn’s voice again, although Gwen couldn’t make out the words. Just the familiar singsong lilt. Gwen had considered asking Paul to this shindig, but decided his week had been hellish enough. What he needed today was to rest.
The temptation had been strong, though. Not just to have his company, but to be there when Autumn arrived. To see her face when the guy she’d bribed to take pity on her ugly sister was on that ugly sister’s arm. She would have hit the roof.
Every one of her siblings would be stunned beyond belief if they knew. Part of her wanted to tell them all, but she wouldn’t. Things were just beginning with her and Paul, and it was still a private matter. Well, except for Holly.
With any luck, Gwen would get out of here early, Paul would have caught up on his sleep, and she’d see him tonight.