Music of the Heart (12 page)

one shred of care left for him. But I had seen something within him—some flicker of decency—that

made me worry and care about him, even when I shouldn’t.

I shot AJ a murderous look to which he held up his hands. “Look, mi amor, guys just don’t do the

touchy-feely shit, okay? If I woke up Jake right now to cuddle him, he would get super pissed.”

I ignored him and tip-toed over to Jake. With trembling fingers, I opened the heavy curtain to his

roost. Jake had the sheet twisted around his waist. A coat of sweat covered his heavily tattooed chest.

His brow creased, and his mouth curved up in a grimace. My hand hesitated above his shoulder.

Finally, I shook him gently. “Jake, wake up,” I urged softly.

His body jerked before his wild eyes popped open and swept across the top of the bunk.

“Shh, it’s okay,” I murmured.

Jake’s frantic gaze swept over to mine while he opened his mouth and gasped for breath.

I gave him a reassuring smile while rubbing his shoulder. “You were having a nightmare.”

Jake continued wheezing in air. I eased back as he swung his legs out of the bunk and onto the

carpet. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he leaned forward and put his head in his hands. “I’m sorry I

woke you,” he replied.

With my protective side shooting into overdrive, I scooted closer to him, bringing my hand to his

hair. Gently, I ran my fingers through the dark, sweat-stained strands, pushing them out of his eyes.

“You didn’t wake me. I was worried about you.”

His head jerked up as surprise flooded his face. “You were?”

I nodded. “You seemed a little down after your phone call with your aunt. Then with the

nightmare.” I glanced up at AJ who was curiously watching us. “I know most of the guys aren’t men

enough to handle emotions and issues—”

AJ snorted. “Those are your words, not mine.”

“Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I’m here for you. If you need to talk about something or if

you just need someone to sit with you until you can go back to sleep, then I’m here.”

With wide eyes and his mouth gaping open, Jake stared at me for a moment like I had grown horns.

Realizing I wasn’t getting anywhere with him, I held up my hands. “Or I can just leave you alone and

go back to sleep. Either is fine.”

When I turned to leave, Jake grabbed my hand. “Wait,” he instructed in a hoarse voice.

“Okay.”

“That’s a really sweet offer, Angel. It makes me feel like a real ass. I need to tell you how sorry I

am about earlier. That was a real douche move. Not that it matters, but she came on to me. But I

should have told her no and meant what I told you.”

I was
so
not expecting an apology from him, so it took me a minute before I could even process

thoughts, least of all acknowledge what he had said. “Thank you.” When he gave me an embarrassed

smile, I sighed. “As much as I appreciate hearing that, it’s not what’s really bothering you, is it?”

He shook his head. “It’s just...” He cleared his throat. “My Aunt Sally was calling for my mother.

She said Mama didn’t want to worry me in the middle of the tour and refused to tell me the truth of

what was going on…”

“What’s wrong?” I urged.

His chest rose and fell in harsh breaths. “After being in remission for three years, my mom’s

cancer has come back. Aunt Sally says…” His face contorted in agony. “She says there’s nothing they

can do this time—no more treatments. She’s being given medicine to make her comfortable for her

last…few months.”

I gasped. “Oh Jake, I’m so, so sorry.” I took his hands in mine and squeezed. The expression on his

face was one of pure anguish and devastation, and my chest constricted for the pain I could feel

radiating off of him.

Tears welled in his tormented blue eyes. “It’s just…” He motioned towards the bunks. “You can

ask the other guys about what an absolute Mama’s Boy I am. After my dad ran off with his secretary

and got remarried, I was her world. She’s
everything
to me. I can’t even think about…” His words

choked off with emotion, and then he started crying. Well, it was more harsh, body shuddering sobs. I

wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him to me. He buried his face in my stomach, his body

heaving and shaking from his cries.

His wailing brought Brayden from his roost while Rhys staggered out of the bedroom. Both of them

stared at Jake in disbelief like he was some alien life form. I don’t know if it was the crying or the

fact he was wrapped in my arms. When I glanced up at AJ, his expression was shell-shocked, but

there was also pain in his eyes. After all, he’d grown up with Jake and knew his mom very well.

I gave AJ an empathetic look. “Not Susan,” he said softly. He pinched his eyes shut, and I knew he

was fighting not to start crying himself. “Motherfucker,” he muttered under his breath.

The next thing I knew I tumbled backward when Jake sank onto his knees on the floor of the bus.

Pulling on my hips, he jerked me down beside him, wrapping me in a bear hug. “Shh, it’s going to be

okay,” I crooned into his ear.

He shook his head wildly back and forth. “No, it’s not. If it hadn’t been as bad as it was, Aunt

Sally would never have called.” My body shook so hard with his sobs that my teeth clattered together.

“Oh God, I can’t bear this, Angel. I’ll die without her.”

Although I’d grown up watching my parents handle emotional parishioners on a daily basis, I felt

completely and totally helpless when it came to comforting Jake. I tried to draw on the right words to

say to comfort him as I rubbed wide circles across his back.

“Listen, I’ll call my parents and tell them to put her on their prayer list. I mean, they don’t call my

dad’s church the God-dome for nothing! And maybe there’s another doctor she can see. You know,

get a second opinion or something.” My mind spun with thoughts as I tried to think of something to do

or say to comfort Jake since he continued to sob uncontrollably. As soon as I thought of another one, I

blurted, “Hey, one of our church’s deacons is on the board of a cancer treatment center. We can get

your mom an appointment there.”

Jake’s sobs started to wane, but he kept his arms firmly around me. His voice, hoarse from his

crying, came muffled against my chest. “I appreciate it, Angel. But Aunt Sally made it abundantly

clear. The cancer’s been back, and there’s not a fucking thing I can do but watch her die.”

Running my fingers through his hair, I leaned over to whisper in his ear. “I’m so, so sorry. I’d give

anything if I could take away your pain.”

“Thank you,” he murmured. He pulled back to stare up at me. Tears glistened in his blue eyes

while his expression still contorted in misery. “You really mean all that, don’t you?” When I creased

my brows in confusion, he replied, “The wanting to take my pain away and what you would do for my

mom.”

“Of course I do.”

He continued to stare at me with an incredulous look as if he thought at any moment I might

disappear—like I was just some illusion. His trembling hand came to rest against my cheek. “You

really are an angel, aren’t you?”

I smiled. “No, I’m just someone who cares about you and your mom.”

“But don’t you see. I’ve never met a girl who really cared about me and not because I’m Jake

Slater from Runaway Train.”

“Then that’s sad because in spite of some of your faults, you really are worth knowing and caring

about.”

Jake blinked a few times at my words as he ran his thumb across my cheek bone. He leaned up,

and just when I sucked in a breath because I thought he was going to kiss me, he planted a tender kiss

on my cheek. “Thank you, Abby. Maybe my mom was right when she claimed fate brought us

together.”

My eyes widened at his statement. “Maybe so,” I murmured.

After standing there staring at each other for a few moments, I patted Jake’s shoulder. “Are you

feeling better now?”

He shrugged. “As good as I can be, I guess.”

“Need some water or milk before you go back to sleep?”

The corners of his lips tugged up. “Are you going to offer to read me a bedtime story next?”

I laughed. “No, I was just trying to take care of you.”

“You were mothering me,” he murmured as sadness washed over his face.

“Well, if you don’t need anything else, I guess I’ll go back to bed.” When I started to my roost,

Jake grabbed my arm, pulling me against him. “Sleep with me,” he whispered in my ear.

I jerked away, ready to launch into a tirade for him playing on my emotions to put the moves on me

when the tormented expression on his face stopped me cold.

He stared pleadingly into my eyes. “I’m still so fucking scared, Angel. I need someone just to hold

tonight so I won’t be alone.”

I had to fight to catch my breath. How was it possible that the broken, vulnerable guy in front of me

and the cocky, self-absorbed Jake who infuriated me were one in the same?

“No funny business?”

He shook his head. “I swear.”

I drew my bottom lip between my teeth as I weighed my options. After his emotional breakdown, I

couldn’t imagine being cruel by leaving him all alone. I tried to think about how I would feel if it

were my mom. “Okay, I will. If it’ll make you feel better.”

Leaning forward, he gave my cheek a tender kiss. “Thank you, Angel.”

My heartbeat accelerated so fast that I swept my hand over my shirt to make sure it wasn’t going to

explode right out of my chest. What was happening to me? One minute I was comforting Jake and then

next I was having all these inappropriate feelings about him running through me. Finally, I said,

“You’re welcome.”

Rhys stepped forward. “Take the bed tonight, man.”

“No, it’s your night.”

With a shrug, Rhys replied, “Least I can do and all.” His gaze flickered over to mine. “Besides,

it’ll be more comfortable for Abby.”

“I appreciate it, but I don’t want pity. Okay?” Jake replied.

Although it was kindness, not pity, that Rhys was offering, he bobbed his head. “Whatever. It’s

yours if you want it. Just remember that.”

“Thanks, man.”

Rocking back and forth on his feet, Rhys finally stepped forward. He tentatively put an arm around

Jake. “I’m sorry, man. I really am.”

Jake patted Rhys’s back. “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

When Rhys pulled away, Brayden took his place. Jake clung to him, and I could tell he was

fighting not to lose his emotions again. “We’re here for you, brother. We’ll see you through this to the

end—to hell and back. Got it?” Brayden said.

“Yeah, I know.”

Taking Jake by the shoulders, Brayden looked at Jake almost like a father would a son. “Anything

you need, you got it. Tour cancelations or pushing back the album, it’s done, okay? No questions

asked and no shit taken from the label.”

“I can’t let you guys down,” Jake protested.

“There are other things in the world besides records and concert tickets. Whatever time you need

to be with your mom, you have my blessing.” He gazed around Rhys and AJ before adding, “And if

either one of these fuckers has one thing to say about it, I’ll knock his block off.”

Rhys held up his hand. “Hey, you guys are my brothers. We’re the four musketeers—‘All for one

and one for all bullshit’. I’m unified in whatever decisions the brotherhood makes, and I’ll go toe to

toe with the suits if they wanna give us grief. I mean, I did drop out of law school, remember? I can

find a loophole in the contract like that.” He snapped his fingers for effect.

Tears sparkled in Jake’s eyes. “Thanks guys.”

I noticed that AJ had been conspicuously quiet. Finally, he hopped down from his roost. He and

Jake stood staring at each other for a few seconds before they fell into each other’s arms. “Dude, I

don’t know what the fuck to say. My heart is shattered—for Susan and for you,” AJ lamented, his

voice muffled against Jake’s chest.

“It’s okay, man. You don’t have to say anything,” Jake replied.

“But I want to. I want to say and do all the right things because you’ve been my best fucking friend

since we were eleven years old.”

Tears flowed freely down my cheeks at the sight of all the love between the guys. I swept them

away with the back of my hands. Jake finally pulled away from AJ and gave a rueful smile. “Okay,

enough with the crying—we’re acting like a bunch of pussies. I don’t know who took our balls, but

enough with the bullshit emotions.”

At my sharp intake of breath and what I guess was my horrified expression, Jake started laughing.

It wasn’t long before all the guys joined in with him. Crossing my arms over my chest, I huffed,

“Well, I’m so glad I could amuse you guys!”

AJ winked at me. “We needed that, Angel.”

“Whatever,” I replied.

“Okay, shows over. Go back to bed guys,” Brayden instructed.

Rhys yawned and bobbed his head. “Night, guys. Night, Abby,” he said before turning back to the

bedroom.

“Night,” I called after him.

Brayden and AJ made their goodnights and then went back to their bunks, leaving me and Jake