My Anchor (Trio Series Book 1) (13 page)

“Why didn't you say anything?”

“I didn't want to talk about it. She hurt me badly and since I met you that hurt has been dulled. I did some really fucked up things after I left her, senseless things.”

“Would sleeping with my best friend be one of those fucked up senseless things?” He has hurt in his eyes. I know I can’t fault him for this we didn't even know each other when it happened. Still, it really isn't going to be easy to get over the fact that Shana may have been or may still be in love with him. And let's not forget that he was the first guy she ever slept with.

“Yes, it was and I feel horrible about it, I told her as much.”

“You spent a weekend fucking her then blew her off. Sounds like it was horrible for you.” I know I'm being a snot.

“Fuck. How is it that Shane would be Shana? You never once called her Shana.”

“Because I call her Shane!” I yell at him. I need to go or things will only get worse if we continue to talk like this.

“I have to go. I’ll call you when I'm ready to talk.”

“Don't you fucking shut down Linn, not now.” When I don't say anything in response he snakes his arms around my waist holding me in a hug then pulls back. He slides his hand up to the back of my head then pulls my face to his. “Tell me we're okay please screamer, I can’t lose you.” He whispers against my lips.

“I just need to wrap my head around this and talk to Shane, I don't want to hurt her by being with you. She is my family.” I push away from him and go back inside to find my girls. My champagne buzz is by far gone now and I just want to go home now, I'm sure they do too.

I track down Shana and Cristal and we leave. The ride home is quiet and I really don't want to be the one to break the silence. But apparently, Cristal does.

“Okay, will someone please tell me what is going on here?” That’s when I realize she has no idea that Shana slept with Kyle… or Lee. Fuck what do I call him now?

“Well.” Shana starts. “Last year I slept with my dear ole stepbrother Kyle, then a few weeks ago Linn started sleeping with Kyle and I'm sure in a couple more months he will make it around to you Cris. Just wait in line the bastard will eventually get to you.” Ouch.

“You don't have to be a bitch Shane, it’s not like I knew who he was when we started dating. He told me his name was Lee for fucks sake. How would I know he was Kyle?” I say to her.

“You slept with your stepbrother?” Cristal shouts from the back of the car. “What the fuck Shane? You didn't tell me?” And little Cristal has just dropped the F-bomb. Shane and I turn to look at her. Well me mostly, as Shane is driving.

“Yeah I can say ‘fuck’ I'm not stupid. The situation kinda calls for it.” She said it again.

We park outside the apartments get out and head inside now not talking once again. When we get inside Cris breaks the ice again.

“Now, we have been trough a lot of shit together and this is nothing. You slept with a guy and you just so happen to sleep with him now. Who cares? Now what we need to ask Shana is do you have a problem with Linn and Lee being together?” Cristal says.

“You really like him?” Shana asks.

“Yes I think I really do, hell I might be in love with the guy.” I get a gasp from Cristal.

“Then I will just have to be okay with it. Haven't even seen the guy once since you have been dating anyway. Maybe I will never see him.” She says the last part half-heartedly.

“Are you going to call him?” Cristal asks.

“Not right now, I just need some time to process this, it’s all a little weird you know? I will though I promise.” I tell her.

“You had better since you love him and all.” Little shit.

“So, everything settled down now?” Lee asks me leaning on the door jam of his apartment. I haven't talked to him in three days and in those three days he looks like he hasn't slept once. Probably hasn't showered either from the look of him. The damn man can still pull sexy as hell off, though.

“Yes all is good now Shane and I talked it out. She is happy for us.” I say with a smile meeting his impassive face. He looks… well, I really don't know how he looks. A cross between relieved to see me and wanting to rip my damn head off. I'm hoping the latter isn't the case.

“What took you so long to talk to me? I’ve been trying to call you for three days now. Who the fuck does that Linn?” He probably called me a total of twenty times and left a total of five voice mails. Don't even get me started on the texts. Now if I was a normal person I would have answered them and we would have talked two days ago. But I'm not and I let fear get the best of me.

“I'm sorry, I just needed time to process is all.” That’s a lie.

“Process? Okay, say I believe that line of shit. You still should have responded somehow.” He takes a deep breath and scrubs his hands over his face. “While processing this what conclusion did you come to?”

That I love you and none of it really matters to me as long as we are together. Like I'm going to say that. “I'm fine with it.” Good save there Linn. I inwardly scold myself for being a coward.

“Fine with it.” He repeats staring at the ground then looks up at me and nods. “I’ll accept that for now. How is Shana? She going to be okay with this?”

“Yep, she’s happy if I'm happy.” That’s when his eyes go soft.

“Good, come here.” Reaching out he pulls me to him burying his face in my hair and inhales. “Fucking coconut.” I hear him whisper. “Love the smell of your hair screamer.”

“You need a shower yourself.” I giggle out.

“Yeah kinda been a rough couple days, this really hot chick didn't answer any of my calls or texts. I was afraid I lost her.” He says pulling back and looking at my face.

“Well, she is here now.”

“Good then she can help me shower.” Shit. With that, he scoops me up over his shoulder and hauls me into the apartment kicking the door shut behind us. Stomping into the bathroom he doesn't put me down while turning on the taps, catching my shoulder with cold water. I make a fuss and squirm but it really doesn't matter he has me and isn't letting go. Suddenly he slaps my ass hard fuck that hurt. “What the fuck Lee that hurt, I ain't into that shit and you know it!” I shout at him.

“That was for not calling me babe.” He plunks me down onto the counter wasting no time taking off my tee shirt and bra. “Damn, I missed your tits Screamer.” He rasps out before sucking one into his mouth. He is a little rough but I'm liking it right now. This must be what makeup sex feels like. A little hateful but oh so damn good. He has us stripped down in no time. Then we are in the shower with my back against the wall and my legs wrapped around his waist. “I'm fucking crazy about you Linn, don't go not calling me for that long again.” I don't even have time to respond before he is slamming into me and kissing me hard. The water makes it hard to stay in place but he does his best by gripping my thighs and thrusting relentlessly. I know I'm going to have some marks tomorrow and I just can’t bring myself to care. This is too good to stop because of something as stupid as pain.

Coming back down from the high of my second orgasm we are both panting and the water is starting to get cold. He shuts the now cold water off and starts pulling out of me letting my feet go back to the ground. That is when I feel the gush of his release run down my leg. Oh. The. Fuck. No. We didn't use a condom.

“Fucking hell Lee, we didn't use a condom!” I screech out.

“Fuck babe I'm sorry I wasn't thinking. I'm clean if that’s what you are worried about. I got tested shortly before I met you.”

“Are you sterile? Because right now that’s really all I care about. I can’t have a fucking kid.” He reels back like I just slapped him then backs away from me and out of the shower. He grabs a towel, leaving the bathroom and me behind.

Crap I can’t deal with this shit. I do quick math in my head to determine whether I'm in the clear or not. Should be okay but I'm still pissed. That’s when I process what I said to Lee before he walked out the door with that hurt look in his eyes. I slowly dry off and get dressed then head to his room.

His door is open a crack so I timidly push it open further. He is dressed now standing with his back to me in front of his dresser.

“I'm so, so sorry I shouldn't have said what I did I just freaked.” Silence. “Will you say something please?”

“Not much to say. I was careless and for that I'm sorry.” He pauses. Then turns around toward me. “Look I have some things to do today, you better get going.” Ouch.

“Um, okay. I will call you later?” It comes out as a question, to see if he even wants me to I guess. Shit so much has happened within the last thirty minutes maybe some space would do some good. I walk over to him and give him a kiss. He barely responds and doesn't move to touch me at all. I feel my heart being ripped out the further I move away from him. I stop at his door to whisper goodbye then leave.

Getting into Shana’s car I just think to myself over and over, this is why I avoid relationships. The hurt you get when you are in one just isn't worth it.

It was a week before we speak again. I waited for him to text or call and it didn't come. Fed up I went to his place and pounded on the door until he finally opened it.

“We doing this again? This time, it’s you ignoring me, I get it. Is this my punishment? Is this you getting back at me for my silence? I get it okay, it sucks.” I rush out. He is still quiet. “Say something!” I yell in his face.

“I won’t be with another woman that is going to deny me, my child.” He grits out. Wait what?

“I was pissed and said something mean. For that I'm sorry, I’m sorry for what she did to you but that’s not me.”

“No? Really? So tell me what you could have possibly been doing at the clinic the same day.” I freeze.

“Were you following me?”

“Didn't follow you, just so happens that my lawyer’s office is across the street from planned parenthood. Saw you there not three hours after you left. I was going to stop by your place and figure things out, but after I saw you there… What were you doing there?” Fuck.

“I went to get a morning after pill.” Is that bad?

“I figured that’s what you were doing.” He scoffs.

“I also got on birth control too so if that ever happened again… fuck how dare you compare me to her. I would never abort my child.” I'm raising my voice a little but I really don't care.

“You still should have talked to me about it, maybe it’s something I would have a problem with.” Seriously?

“It was just a precaution, I'm not ready for a kid. I'm still a kid myself.” He scoffs again, his attitude is really pissing me off.

“That’s an understatement.” The fucker tells me. “So what if you didn't take it and had gotten pregnant, what then? Would you even have told me?” he is being so condescending I can’t even stand to be in the same breathing space as him.

“You know what? Forget this, I knew a fucking relationship would be a mistake.” This can’t be happening.

“There it is, typical Linn. Shit gets real and she clams up. Well, don't worry sweetheart it’s forgotten.” Those words stab me in the heart. I don't even notice I'm crying until feel something wet hit my hand. Fuck this shit.

“Have a nice life Lee.” With that I turn and leave, he doesn't stop me.

Pouring myself into school and Pinterest. I have been driving Shana and Cristal crazy with all the projects I’ve been doing, mainly because half of them remain unfinished. I’ve also been baking, unsuccessfully at first but I got the hang of it. My ass has gotten slightly larger and when I mean slightly I mean I have gone up three pant sizes. Apparently, I don't take break ups well.

“Linnie you gotta do something, you have hardly left the house, what’s it been five months?” six actually, six months two weeks and three days. Not that I'm counting.

I'm in the middle of putting together a three layer triple chocolate cake. More than likely, I will eat it alone accompanied with a gallon of milk. Chocolate is a girl’s best friend after all.

“Look I know Kyle is a prick and broke your heart but it’s time to get back out there, and girl you know I love you but shit, stop eating so much cake!” And there it is, my best friend pointing out that I do indeed have a problem.