My Anchor (Trio Series Book 1) (17 page)

Getting out of the car I notice it has started to sprinkle a bit. He has his top on his jeep so I get inside and close the door.

“Why didn't you correct me and tell me who's baby that was? Shit, I didn't even know Shana was pregnant, she hasn't told any of us.” I just shrug.

“I don't think she will either until she absolutely has to. I'm sure if it were up to her she would just send a birth announcement to her mother when he is born.”

“He? I'm going to have a nephew?” He says with a huge smile on his face, it’s really sweet.

“Well we don't know what it is yet but I think it’s a boy so I refer to it as him. Saying ‘it’ all the time sounds weird.” He agrees and we are silent for a moment. Then I take a deep breath readying myself for the conversation that is about to happen. “I have some things to say. Things you probably aren't going to want to hear.” He lets out a sigh.

“You don't need to tell me…” I stop him right there.

“Yes I do, just let me get through it. Okay?” He concedes and looks out the window. I'm glad when he does. I really don't think I can get through this with his eyes on me.

“When I was fifteen my dad had a hired man.” I start. “His name was Doug. He was older maybe thirty-five? I never really asked. I thought I was in love with him, obviously, it wasn't that. I was a kid.” I can feel the tension rolling off of him in waves as I tell the story from my stupid teenage days. “He was always finding time for me, asking about school. My friends. He almost started to be a father figure for me. Then one night I came home a little drunk and he offered to let me stay in the bunkhouse so my dad didn't catch me stumbling in. I did and when I woke up we were in the same bed. Nothing had happened, he didn't take advantage of my drunkenness. He was just there for me and I liked that. After that night I always made excuses to stay with him at night knowing it was wrong, but I liked the attention. After my mom died I craved it. It was maybe a month or so when things went way passed inappropriate. He never pushed me into anything but he never said that what were doing wasn't right. This went on for months until one morning my dad walked in on us, and we weren’t just cuddling.” Keeping my eyes trained on the drops of rain water now rolling down the passenger side window I try and get passed the next part. “My dad was furious, to say the least. He ripped us apart, grabbed me by my hair and threw me across the room. I have a scar on the back of my head from where I hit the dresser so hard I blacked out. When I woke up my dad had beat him badly and then called the cops. They were hauling Doug off to jail and I didn't say a word. I really couldn't. He was always mean but after that whenever he looked at me he would sneer and call me names. Little whore was his favorite. About a year later I started dating a boy from school. One that didn't believe the rumors that the small town had spread. He came to pick me up one night to go to the movie and met my dad.” My palms started to get clammy so I rubbed them on my jeans to try and dry them. Wasn't happening. “So good old dad made sure this boy knew exactly who he was taking out on a date. His whore of a daughter. I was coming down the steps when I heard dad tell him that if he played his cards right that he was sure to get lucky tonight. Micheal, I think his name was, took one look at me when I got to the bottom of the steps and left. Dad just turned and looked at me then laughed. ‘Guess he doesn't want your loose pussy, after all, my dick could use some sucking if you are hard up for some tonight. Daughter or not a mouth is a mouth.’ I remember him saying to me.” My stomach rolled when I thought of his words.

“Fucking hell.” I heard Lee whisper from his side of the jeep. He still hasn’t moved and for that I am grateful. I don't think I could get through this if he had.

“Time went on and word got around that I was easy pussy. At that point, I didn't care anymore. I did sleep around. Not as much as everyone thought but high schoolers were mean. When I was seventeen and prom rolled around I had no date, not that it mattered. I had the girls and that’s all I really needed. The three of us went together, it was their senior year my Junior. Gabe, the damn prom king asked me to dance and told me he’d always had a thing for me. Since he was a senior he said wanted to be able to dance with ‘the most beautiful girl in school’ before he left for college. Me being the stupid girl I am I believed him. Everything was going great. I was giddy, so excited that the popular guy wanted me. Toward the end of the night, he took me toward the locker rooms, said he wanted a little privacy before we all went to the after party. He got really handsy and when we started making out he pushed us further into the room. It was dark but there were little night light type things on the outlets by the sinks. That’s what I remember staring at when he starting shoving my dress up and ripping off my panties. At first, I told him to stop but he told me that I was full of shit and wanted it. He shoved me up the wall and fucked me like a whore.”

“Fuck!” Lee shouted, making me jump, I still couldn't look his way. “You aren't a fucking whore! What that motherfucker did, your fucking dad.” He didn't even finish his sentence before opening his door then slamming it behind him.

Taking a moment to collect myself, and well, letting him calm a little I get out. He is pacing the parking lot. Luckily it’s so late at night and no one is around to see us. Hesitantly I walk toward him. “I'm sorry, I…” he abruptly turns, facing me.

“No. No, you don't be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry about. Come here.” He grabs me around the waist and pulls me in close. The rain has let up to just a drizzle, misting all over our moment. He looks at me and brushes my damp strands from my face then lightly kisses me starting at my mouth. Then works his way around to my neck burying his face in the crook. “I love you.” He softly says into my neck placing a few more kisses then pulls back to look in my eyes. There is so much emotion in them that I break right there. No more hiding no more running, I love him I am going to be happy with this man.

“I love you.” I finally say to him. Relief is all over his face along with so much happiness.

“I love you too screamer.” He says in that cocky voice, smirking. “Move in with me babe.” Shit to far.

“Seriously? We haven't even worked out our issues with each other. I…” putting his finger to my lips he shushes me.

“Doesn't matter. You’re mine, I'm yours. Move in with me. I plan on fucking marrying you.” I go to say that’s something I don't believe in but he just pushes harder on my lips. “Shut it, babe. We will do that when you are ready. Starting small.” I nod since my lips are still being restricted to silence. “Good. But I will let you know that I'm going to have to kick Rick’s ass.” Men. I take my face away so he is no longer touching my lips.

“Rick didn't do anything wrong if anything it was my fault. I knew he was gay, well bisexual I guess. But it isn't his fault and I don't blame him for cheating on me.” He steps back.

“He cheated on you? What the fuck? Now I do have to kick his ass.”

“Oh stop it we weren't really exclusive or anything. Just had an agreement to…” he puts his hands over his ears and takes a step back. That shushes me up.

“Don't need details, but if he looks at you like he is thinking of you naked I'm decking him.” I roll my eyes, good god this man.

“Now about the moving in.” I get back to the larger topic at hand. “I'm not sure if I'm ready for that, and I don't want to leave the girls just yet. We are still young and having fun living together. I'm not saying that it will never happen, but can we wait for a while?”

“Alright, for now. I understand, just as long as I get you at least five nights a week.” He tries to negotiate.

“Three.” I counter.

“Four. Final offer.” Ass.

“Fine four it is.” I accept and then laugh because I'm sure I will be with him a lot more than four nights a week. Really, moving in with him would be more practical but what can I say? I'm stubborn. He leans in and kisses me. Then I pull back. “Aren't you living in Big Fork?”

“Details babe.” He says then slams his mouth back down onto mine.

“Now about marriage…” He brings up that damn word but I stop him right away.

“I don't do marriage, it’s just not for me. I'm not against it I just know it isn't something I want.” He has a look on his face that says he thinks I'm full of shit.

“If that is how you feel I guess I'm just going to have to try and change your mind for the rest of our lives.”

“And if I don't change my mind?”

“Doesn't matter, we will still have the rest of our lives together. I love you and you don't get to go anywhere.” I just smile. Life with this man is going to be fun.

Watching her sleep is always my favorite thing to do. She is all wrapped up in her blanket and making the cutest sucking motion with her small lips. She is so fucking beautiful just like her mother. Kira Shay. Today she is now two months old. After coming over a month early and having spent her first three weeks of life in a damn incubator at the hospital we got to bring her home. She was so small when she was born and is now over six pounds. Growing like a weed. Linn was a trouper through it all. I was scared she would break down but it turned out she was my rock through the whole thing.

“You watching her again?” Her light voice breaks into my thoughts. Turning I look at my beautiful girlfriend, yes girlfriend. I still haven't asked her to marry me yet, not because I don't want to. I'm just in no hurry to. She is mine and I don't need that piece of paper to solidify that.

“Can’t help it, babe, she is like a mini you. Sucking on her bottom lip while she sleeps.” She smacks my arm.

“Jerk, hopefully, she doesn't end up snoring like you do. We would have to sound proof her room, I can barely handle you.” My sassy girl.

“How long do you have left before I can bend you over and fuck that sassiness right out of you?”

“Ha! You still have a month to go. Guess you will have to settle for your hand a little longer.”

“Or your mouth. Can’t be sassy with my dick in your throat.” She gapes at me.

“You are such a jerk.” I hear her cell phone ring down the hall and she takes off to go get it. After Shana had her baby Linn was hooked and it didn't take long before she asked me if I thought of having one of our own. Obviously, I said yes, took us a while but we got pregnant. I turn back to look at my daughter one last time before I head after her.

“What? Slow down Shane what happened? Hello?” I hear Linn say. What the fuck is going on now?

“Hello? Dez? Why? What happened?” Silence for a spell and I can see the tears fill my woman’s eyes. Then she crumples to the floor.

“She can't, she can’t…” she repeats over and over until she drops the phone to the floor.

“Babe talk to me what happened?”

“She’s gone.” I grab her and hold the love of my life and let her cry it out in my arms. Shit, what happened?

“I thought I fucking told you to get rid of that thing!” Chase yells at me in the parking lot of Starbucks. There are people looking and I'm not quite to my car yet. I'm carrying four coffees and a bag of muffins. My hands are full so to speak.

“Leave me alone please Chase it doesn't concern you.” I walk a little faster pressing the unlock button repeatedly on the key fob.

“It does fucking concern me you bitch. I told you to fucking do something and I expect it done. You had better not say a fucking word to my wife if she finds out you'll wish you would have listened.” His voice had dropped down to a quieter volume but people are still looking our way.

“Threatening me Chase?” I ask after I get to the door and put my things inside. I should have gotten into the car too but I suppose I'm a glutton for punishment.

“I'm promising you bitch, I have a lot to lose if she finds out. Don't fuck with me.” Prick.

“Don't worry, you weren't the only one I was sleeping with” I lie. “There were a couple other guys, the chances of you being the sperm donor are slim to none.” I'm lying through my teeth but if the asshole falls for it the better. He will have nothing to do with my baby’s life and if he thinks that I'm a slut in the process so be it.