My Guardian Knight (12 page)

Amanda jerked her head up when she heard the children's giggles, surprised to see that the sun had already come up.  She turned her head slowly, wincing at the pain in her neck as she did so.  She must have slept there for quite some time, she mused, indeed must have been totally exhausted to have slept at all, let alone on a table!

The day went much more slowly than the one before, and every five minutes she found herself leaning out the door, straining her eyes to see if Sebastian was coming down the road.  Her body ached from her cramped position of the night before, and her mind was befuddled from lack of sleep.  Her first instinct was to keep Matthew and Marissa close to home, but when their whining and pleading grated on her last nerve she gave in and let them play in the field.  She puttered around the house, trying to do some housework, but gave up when she found herself standing with the broom in her hand doing nothing but gazing out the window.  Giving herself a firm lecture, she sat down to mend some clothing.  This was much better, she thought, being able to sit down and still get some work done.  The beginnings of a smile played on her lips just before she dozed off.

Amanda moaned, fighting her way out of the nightmare that had clutched her mind.  She sat up straight in the chair, her sewing falling to the floor, her first thought was to wonder where the children were.  She shook her head dazedly, trying to return to full consciousness.  She'd had a bad dream, about Avery--

Amanda jumped up from her chair in a panic. 
Oh my God
! 
He knows.  Avery knows where I am and he's coming to get me.  Where are the children?!

She ran out the door, stumbling over a rock and falling to the ground, scraping her hand on the very rock that had tripped her as she tried to get up.  She called their names, looking wildly across the field toward Sharon's house.  

No orange blanket flew on the line today. 

She checked the barn, where they liked to pet the dairy cows.  She checked the meadow where they usually found the baby bunny.  She fearfully wandered the banks of the creek, hoping they hadn't disobeyed to play near the water.  Amanda called for them all the while, until her voice was hoarse and her throat dry as a bone.  Leaning against a tree for a moment, she tried in vain to catch her breath.  Why could she not find them?  Where could they have gone?  

What about the horses?  Would they have dared to go where Sebastian had forbidden them to ever go alone?  She knew the children were curious, Matthew especially, but would he have done something so dangerous?

She began running again, shouting with what remained of her voice.  Her eyes scanned the corral but could find no little bodies trying to pet the horses.  She went into the stable, which smelled of warm hay and clean horses, but still she had no luck.  She left the stable and closed the door behind her, leaning her head against it dejectedly.  Where should she go from here?  Hadn't she checked every place they liked to play?

The screaming that sounded just behind her made her jump and scream, too.  She was relieved to find both Matthew and Marissa completely unharmed.  Grabbing their tiny arms, she knelt on the ground and demanded in what was probably the harshest tone she had ever used with them, "Where have you been?  I have been calling and calling for you.  Don't you ever wander so far away again, do you hear me?!  Anything could have happened to you!  Anything!"

Calm down
, she told herself the minute she realized that her entire body was shaking and the children were crying. 
Just get them to the house where you know that
they'll be safe
.  So she took their hands gently and walked them quickly home, shutting and barring the door behind them.  Amanda sat them down at the table and poured three cups of soothing tea before joining them.  "Now tell me," she said, proud of how calm she sounded, "where were you this afternoon?"

Matthew said, "I know you'll be angry, Mama, but--"  "Not angry, sweetheart, but scared half out of my mind.  I thought something had happened to you.  I thought maybe you were hurt."

"We just wanted to play hide and seek, and there's nowhere to hide in the fields," Marissa added.

              "So where did you go?"

"Over behind Mr. Mahoney's barn where there are all the trees and farming 'quipment.  It was all my idea--"

              "It wasn't just Matthew, Mama, I wanted to go, too. 

I'm sorry we scared you."

Amanda took a deep breath, reminding herself that they were fine now, and at least they had stayed close to the
Mahoneys
spread.  "Well," she stated firmly, "I think that you may stay indoors for the rest of the day as punishment for wandering so far without permission.  Now go fetch your slates and you can spend the afternoon practicing your numbers."

For the rest of the day Amanda gave the illusion that she was doing housework as normal, but her thoughts were trained on Sebastian and Avery.  She kept the door locked tight, not willing to take any chance, for she had no idea how close Avery really was.  True, she had just had
the feeling
this morning, but that only meant he knew where she was.  He might be as far away as Mississippi or as close as St. Louis.  There was really, of course, no way to know for sure.  And as the sun dipped on the horizon and her fears escalated, she reluctantly admitted that there was no hope that Sebastian would be home tonight.  So again she gave the children a bath before the fire, read them a story, and tucked them into bed.  And again she sat before the fireplace with a cup of tea, not nearly so soothing this time, and waited for a calm to steal over her that she began to accept would never come.  She was cold, from the inside out, and fear had settled like a great weight upon her shoulders.  

Was there really any hope?  Had she done the right thing by allowing Sebastian to fight her battles for her?  Was coming here with him the answer to her prayers or just a stay of execution?

She sighed.  At any rate, if she did have to leave with Avery, at least she knew Matthew would be well taken care of and enfolded in the arms of a loving family.  Wasn't that all she had asked for, anyway?  Amanda laughed bitterly, knowing she should never have dared to hope that her life could end up anywhere except where it had been heading for years.  She should have known better than to begin to hope again--

A sound outside interrupted her thoughts, and for a moment she forgot to breathe. 
Oh, it was just the wind, you silly goose
, she tried to tell herself, but the fear would not leave her.  She sipped at her tea, not realizing that it had become as cold as the terror that threatened to overcome her.   
You should have gone to Sharon's house,
she berated herself. 
At least there would be someone to protect the children if anything happened to you. 

Attempting to breathe at a somewhat normal level, she resumed rocking in her chair and staring into the fire.  Thoughts of the past swam before her eyes, unwanted though they were.  She remembered the first time Avery had raised a hand to her.  They had only been "married" a few months, and he had exhibited signs of a violent nature but, as optimistic as she used to be, she tried to explain it away.  Then, on one of the many nights he had stayed out drinking with his buddies, he had walked through the door of their small shack nearing midnight.  Amanda had waited supper as long as she could, then had eaten a small bit, cleaned her mess, and put a plate to keep warm by the fire.  By the time Avery came home, she was asleep in bed.

Amanda shuddered as she recalled being pulled from a sound sleep, and the bed, by her hair.  Avery was standing over her, bellowing at the top of his voice, about not waiting supper for him.  She'd stared at him in shock and bewilderment.  "I've kept a plate warm for you by the stove," she'd said quietly.

This seemed to enrage him even more, and he stalked over to the fire, grabbed the plate, and threw it at her.  She was so surprised she didn't even have time to move before it crashed down upon her head, knocking her unconscious.  When she'd come to, Avery was gone, and she was lying in a heap on the floor with rotting food and broken glass all around her.

Amanda sighed.  After all these years, she was certain that his rage knew no bounds, and he would not stop until he had found her.  She wasn't even entirely sure that he would deliver her to the authorities.  Probably he would kill her himself.  He was like that.

Running a hand through her hair, she stood up with determination.  She was not a girl anymore, too frightened to stand up for herself.  No, she was a woman now, a woman who had managed to keep one step ahead of Avery for many years.  He may be smart, but he had yet to prove that he was smarter than she was.  She had a family to protect, by God, and she would not let them down!

Setting her cup down absentmindedly, she marched into the bedroom and retrieved Sebastian's spare pistol from high in the rafters, tucking it safely into the pocket of her nightgown.  As she passed the fireplace, she grabbed the rifle down from its perch over the mantle and carried it to the table.  She pulled a chair over by the stove, directly in front of the door, and hurried to check that all the shutters were drawn tight.  She lingered momentarily by the children, their angelic little faces smiling in their sleep.  "Sweet dreams," she whispered as she kissed each tiny head.

Back in the kitchen, she reclaimed the guns from the table and settled herself in the chair, blanket pulled warmly around her shoulders, weapons hidden neatly within.  

She stared at the door, the coldness of the metal in her hands giving her a slight sense of security.  She would protect her children!  But two busy days and one sleepless night weighed heavily upon her, and she found her eyes drooping.  Through sheer determination, she kept them open, trained unceasingly upon the door.  

Every moment seemed like hours, and she found herself beginning to glance toward the window, hoping against hope that the sun would be peeking over the horizon.  She wished fervently that Sebastian would come home today, for she could not sleep during the day with the children awake, and she was sure she could not endure another sleepless night.  If only he would come home and hold her tightly while she slept, his warm strength fighting off all her fears and horrible memories.  She longed to see his beloved face, to know that he was home safely and, therefore, she too would be safe.  

But the minutes ticked away, broken only by the occasional murmur from her slumbering children.  She wasn't aware that her feet were falling asleep, and when the numbness spread up her legs, she was too tired to notice.  Her fingers still gripped the guns tightly, and she tensed at every sound.

Just as she was sure that morning was close at hand, and her fears began to subside, she heard the faintest sound of a horse.  Surely it could be one of Sebastian's horses in the stable?  But if it were, she would have been hearing that all night.  Could one of his herd have gotten loose?

Amanda smiled. 
Now I know you're losing your mind
, she told herself,
for Sebastian keeps his animals safe and secure with no chance of escape from the stable.  

The neigh came again, closer this time, and Amanda desperately looked toward the window.  If it were nearing daylight, she could see who the intruder was.  Possibly it was the farm hand from Justin's farm coming to feed the horses?  But the night was still black as pitch, without so much as a sliver of moonlight to brighten it.  

She put a trembling hand to her brow, digging deep within herself for the courage to fight for her life and those of her loved ones.                            

              The door rattled and she jumped, clutching the pistol and settling her finger on the trigger.  She could do it, she knew she could.  Again, the door rattled.

Amanda sat on her chair, overtaken by a strange calm, and watched as the door was continuously pummeled from the other side.  She heard a male voice calling to her from the other side, but the strange roaring in her ears prevented her from making out the words.  When the wood barring the door began to splinter, she raised the weapon in both hands, as Sebastian had taught her to do, and trained it where she expected Avery's head to appear.  Her grip was firm and amazingly steady for everything she had been through, and her pretty brown eyes that Sebastian often likened to melted chocolate had turned dark with fury.  She wouldn't let him get away with it again.  Never again.  

She took a deep breath as the wood gave way and the door swung open and slammed against the wall, setting the dishes to rattling.  At the same moment, Amanda cocked the gun.  Her eyes started at his boots and made their way up his long legs to stare him straight in the eye.  She tried to stand, but her numb legs gave way beneath her and she fell to her knees, the pistol falling to the floor.  She looked up, tears glistening in her eyes.  

              "Sebastian," she said.  "Thank God!"

Sebastian swept her poor exhausted body off the floor and strode purposefully across the cabin to their room.  He laid her gently on the bed, tucking the covers securely about her, and watched as she fell immediately into a deep sleep.  He stroked her hair tenderly, wondering what had happened to make her feel the need to stand guard all night.

Working quickly, he repaired the door and replaced the guns, looked in on the children he had sorely missed, and finally climbed into bed beside Amanda, sliding his arms about her warm waist.  Still asleep, she fit her soft body against his and smiled sweetly, at last getting the rest she needed.