My Guardian Knight (11 page)

One evening, just as the leaves began to change colors, Sebastian announced at the supper table that he would be going out of town for a few days.  Amanda looked up from her plate, her appetite gone.  "We can't come with you?"

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, I'll be able to ride faster on horseback than I could with a carriage.  I really need to get this done as soon as possible."

"I don't like your tone or the worry I see in your eyes, Sebastian.  Where are you going?"

"Look at that, you sound just like a real wife," he tried to joke, succeeding only in alienating her.

Amanda stood up abruptly, taking her plate to the washbasin and scrubbing ruthlessly.  She felt Sebastian behind her, his hand rubbing her back, and she stiffened her spine as she jerked away from him.  "We'll talk about this after the kids are in bed," he murmured.  "I have some work to do in the stable, I'll be back in a while."

Amanda didn't acknowledge that she had heard him, and he walked out the door, wondering what he had done wrong.  

Amanda washed every surface in the cabin until it shone, then gave the children a bath before the warmth of the fire and put them to bed.  When all was quiet, she sat before the hearth, her sewing in her lap, and stared into the flames.  Her soft pink cotton nightgown protected her from the cool night, but the chill surrounding her heart was not so easily dismissed.  Sebastian's tense manner worried her, and the fact that he wouldn't discuss where he was going.  His lame attempt at a joke only served to hurt her fragile feelings.

              Sebastian walked in and sat in the chair beside her. 

Her heart turned over when she saw his handsome face, his damp hair shining in the candlelight.  "I think it's growing too cold to still be bathing in the creek, Sebastian."

He ignored her remark.  "I'll just be going to St. Louis, Amanda.  I'll be gone two, three days at the most.  I've already asked Justin to keep an eye on you, and I've hired one of his farm hands to stay in the stable while I'm gone.  Sharon invited you to stay with them if you don't feel comfortable staying here alone.  I swear I'll take care of my business as soon as possible and come home.  This is something that must be done."

Amanda rubbed her eyes wearily.  "I'm not upset that you have to go.  I'm upset, Sebastian, because you refuse to share with me the reason you are going.  Don't bother telling me it's routine business, either, because I know better.  Whatever it is must be very urgent and not a little dangerous.  If you don’t want to tell me, then don’t, but you can't expect me to be happy about it.  I don't understand how you can trust me with your child but you cannot trust me with a little information."

Sebastian sighed in defeat.  "I've had a private investigator checking out all my leads on Avery Higgins, and he has some information for me.  Papers, he claims, that will be enough evidence to put Higgins away for a very long time, if not forever.  I need to get them now, so I can go over them and show them to my contacts.  There are very few U.S. Marshals that I
know
can be trusted.  I have to take care of this now, while the trail is hot.  I promised you your life back, Amanda, and I mean to keep that promise."

Her life back, Amanda thought.  What kind of life would it be without Sebastian in it?  

"I'm not asking that you like it, only that you understand."

She nodded.  "I do.  I want him to be put away where he can never harm another person.  I know what he's done to me, but I have a feeling that you know of things he's done that are far worse.  We have to stop him, Sebastian.  When will you leave?"

"Tomorrow morning.  My investigator can't stay long, and once I've made sure the papers are authentic I have to get them to the office."

Amanda felt as if the breath had been knocked from her.  Tomorrow morning.  For two or three days.  She had never missed anyone before, but she knew she'd miss him. 

Who was she kidding?  She missed him already!

              "Be careful, Sebastian, Avery is a monster."

He took her hand in his tracing circles in her palm, and raised his electric blue eyes to gaze at her.  "Don't worry about me, sweetheart, I have too much waiting for me at home to let anything happen."

She allowed herself to be coaxed into his arms, soaking up the warmth from his embrace to ward against the icy fear that settled deep inside of her.  She wondered if she would ever see him again after tomorrow, but comforted herself with the knowledge that she still had not had
the feeling
.  That, at least, was a good sign.  And yet she wondered what was taking Avery so long to find her this time, when she knew he had tracked her as far as St. Louis.

Sebastian's lips at her temple made her forget her thoughts as he swept her off her feet and carried her to their bedroom, placing her gently beneath the warm covers and his much warmer body.  She let her fears float away on wave upon wave of titillating sensation, clinging to the man that she had come to love above everything else except, perhaps, their children.  His touch paid attention to every inch of her soft skin, driving her mad with desire.  She watched the play of emotion in his eyes as they turned from bright electric blue to the deepest indigo.  He smiled before his lips once again claimed hers and, with a muted gasp, they became one. 

Amanda felt as if she had never been complete before this moment, as if she may never be again.  So she clung to him, her arms around his broad shoulders, her legs wrapped tightly around his waist, wanting to carry this feeling into eternity, but knowing it would be short-lived.

Sebastian lifted himself to the bed beside her and pulled her into the security of his arms.  His breathing was ragged as he stroked her back absently.  He knew only one thing: Avery Higgins threatened his whole world, and he had to do something about it.  He had promised Amanda he'd give her her life back, and he had to keep his word.  He realized that once she was set free from her past she would also be free from him, and may very well choose to leave.  But if he didn't take care of Avery then he wouldn't even have the chance to try and persuade her to stay.  And he
must
persuade her to stay, for he was realizing more with every passing day that his heart and soul now resided within the palms of her hands, and he could never be truly happy without her.   

Sebastian snuggled closer to her, the faint smell of cinnamon still clinging to her hair from the apple pie she'd baked this afternoon, and finally fell into an exhausted sleep.

He rose early, before dawn, and quietly gathered his things.  He kissed her softly on the forehead, and, with one last look, reluctantly left the cozy warmth of the house.

Amanda turned from the stove, her face red from the heat, and smiled at the children while she placed their plates before them.  "So what do you plan to do today?"

Matthew piped up.  "I'm gonna play with my baby bunny, if I can find him.  Mama, how come I don't see him as

much anymore?"

"Well, it's getting a bit colder and he probably stays home with his mama so he can be warm," she smiled.  "Marissa, what do you want to do today?"

Marissa's little bottom lip stuck out in a pout and she glared at Matthew.  "I wanted to dress the bunny up in the new dolly dress you made me but
Matthew
won't let me."  "Boys do not dress in pink frilly dresses,
Marissa
," he spouted indignantly.

              "How do you know it's a boy, anyhow?  You think

you're so much smarter than me, but you're just a dumb
boy
." "That's enough, children," Amanda stated firmly.  "Marissa, you really shouldn't try to put dresses on wild animals, you could be hurt.  Now both of you run along and play nicely together while I finish my chores in here.  If we have time later we'll search out some apple trees and I'll make apple dumplings."

The children ran out and Amanda continued her cleaning, humming all the while.  Two or three days weren’t really so long, she told herself.  Sebastian would be back before she knew it.  If she kept busy the time would go by all that much faster.  So she cleaned the house until it sparkled and then went searching for apples with the children.  Afterwards she baked apple dumplings and sugar cookies, and the trio trudged across the field to share their goodies with their neighbors.  

              Matthew               and               Marissa               immediately               engrossed themselves with the little tan puppy, and Sharon made some tea to go with the baked goods.  The women sat at the table, contented to keep each other company while they watched the kids play on the floor.  

"So how are you getting along without Sebastian?" Sharon wondered.

Amanda laughed a bit.  "So far, so good, I suppose.  The house feels a bit empty without him, though."

              "You and the children are more than welcome to

spend the night with us, Amanda.  It would be fun."

"Thank you, but we'll be fine at home.  I know how to contact you if the need arises, but I do appreciate the offer. 

You've been a good friend to me, Sharon."

Sharon hurriedly blinked the moisture from her eyes and hugged her friend tightly.  "If you won't spend the night, will you at least stay to supper?  There's more than enough for everyone."

Amanda agreed with a smile, and the two women busied themselves with preparations for dinner.  Much later, her children in tow, Amanda started again across the field, admiring the way the setting sun turned everything to gold.  The sight of the cozy house in the distance filled her with warmth, and she hurried forward, Matthew and Marissa following along sleepily behind her.  The sun dipped yet lower, throwing long shadows on the field, and creating a chilliness in the air that reminded her autumn was upon them.  She shivered, grabbed two little hands, and made a game of running the rest of the way home, laughing all the while.  

Later that night she sat before the fire, the children tucked safely in bed, and enjoyed a hot cup of tea.  Although it was nearing midnight, she was far from sleepy, so she took out the sewing she had planned as Christmas presents for Sebastian and the children.  She wondered if she would be here Christmas morning to see them open their presents, or if they would be plucked from beneath a lonely tree.  Amanda had no doubt that Sebastian would take care of Avery.  She had come to trust him so implicitly that she would follow him to the ends of the earth, if only he'd ask her.  But such thoughts were pure folly, for she knew when their promises to each other had been fulfilled, she would again be traveling on her way, just as she always did.  Only this time she would be running from nothing except memories of a husband and daughter that could never be hers.  Where would she even go?  She could settle in Alton, of course, but knew deep down that if she had to leave Sebastian, she would need to go far away, where the likelihood of ever running into him again would be nonexistent.  And what about poor Matthew?  He had blossomed under Sebastian's patient influence, how could she so cruelly yank him from the arms of the only father he had ever known?

Closing her eyes against the imminent pain, her heart felt wrenched from her breast at the thought of leaving sweet little Marissa.  What were they to do?  She sighed sadly, suddenly unable to maintain the excitement of working on Christmas presents.  So she put her sewing away and went to bed, where she tossed and turned for what seemed like hours before getting back up and making more tea.  She sat at the kitchen table, her hands wrapped around the warmth of her cup, and silently berated herself for allowing such disturbing thoughts to spoil her happiness.  She had vowed that this short time they had together would not be dampened by her tendency to worry about the future.  Like Sebastian said, the future would take care of itself, and there was no way they could know what would happen.  Worrying about it would only make her unhappy and possibly ruin this, the happiest time of her life.  

On that thought, she pushed her half-full cup away and laid her head upon her arms on the table, promptly falling asleep.

Sebastian sat in the dingy diner, sipping a cup of extremely strong coffee, and staring at the man across from him.  "So what exactly are you telling me, John?" he asked of his private investigator.  "I thought you had some papers to show me, and you're rambling on about one thing or another, but skirting the issue of the information you promised.  Do you, or do you not, have what I need?" he grated.

              John raised an eyebrow and half-smiled at his client.  "I do.  I was merely trying to tell you that I am hot on the trail of happenings that will make what we have so far look like child's play.  I had hoped to have some evidence for you today, but was unable to procure it."

"Do you have what I asked for?"  Sebastian was in a foul temper and was unwilling to play cat and mouse games with his slippery spy.  Being away from Amanda and the kids had filled him with a tension that he hadn't anticipated, and a burning need to return home and assure himself that they were safe.  

John discreetly pushed a packet of papers across the table, glancing around the room as he did so.  Sebastian barely suppressed his annoyance at his companion's dramatics.  He opened the envelope and rifled through the documents, finding what he was looking for and nodding his approval.  The two men stood and shook hands, with no one the wiser to the money that was expertly transferred, and strode through the door, each going separate ways.  John was off to continue prying into Avery's dark secrets, and Sebastian swaggered determinedly toward the sheriff's office, and the one marshal he knew he could trust.