My Hustler’s Keeper (16 page)

“We’re not in good hands Naya. I mean Seoul is protecting me and that I get. But he’s my husband. I know I fucked up, but I didn’t make these babies on my own. He should be able to at least put our issues to the side for these babies’ sake. I get it, we’re not going to grow old and die together. But I feel that he’s leaving me here as if I’m his brother’s problem. This is his job, not another’s. I feel as if he doesn’t care about me anymore,” she expresses.

“You didn’t fuck up, chica. You did what you thought was the right thing to do. And trust me, if he didn’t care, you wouldn’t be here. Stop stressing the little shit. Worry about bringing me some healthy god-babies and leave Santana to me.”

Bella smiles at Naya and continues to make her pancakes. Once everything is finished Naya and Bella place the food on the table, sit down and say grace before they start to eat. After breakfast Bella and Naya go into the living room and watch
Money Talks
before Bella goes back in to the guestroom that Seoul has turned in to her personal room and takes a nap.

An hour later the alarm goes off.

“Ugh, another day without him here,” Bella says as she wobbles out the bed and heads for the shower, so that she can get ready for her doctors appointment. Stepping into the bathroom, she opens the medicine cabinet and grabs her toothbrush and toothpaste, before turning the sink water on warm. Putting her toothbrush under the water, she then squeezes some toothpaste on the toothbrush and begins to brush her teeth. After that is done she gargles with some mouthwash before putting the items back where they belong.

Next she takes some tissue off the rack, wipes the toilet before sitting down, and releases the breakfast she had ate. When that is done she flushes the toilet and walks over to the shower, opens the door, cuts the water on warm, strips out of her clothes, and steps inside. Grabbing her sponge from the shower rack, she leathers it up with some of her body wash and starts to caress her body until the white suds are covering her body. Afterwards she rinses off, cuts the water off, opens the shower, and steps out. Taking the towel from off the rack, she wraps her body in it and walks into the room.

“Holy shit.” She jumps.

“I’m sorry. Did I scare you?” Santana asks her.

“No, well yes. When did you come in here?” she asks as she steps a few steps back into the bathroom.

“While you were taking your shit. I smelled it all the way in here.”

She laughs.

“It’s good for the soul.”

“Hmmm, how clean is your soul?” he asks, giving her a smirked look.

“After that shit, it’s very clean,” she tells him

He laughs.

“Come here beautiful.”

“Hmm,” she hesitates.

“Bella, stop fucking playing and come here,” he raises his voice just a notch.

“Nah, I’m good. Last time I came to you I was being dragged out your car and onto my parents’ lawn while you got back into your car, leaving me for dead,” she expresses, as she tries to stop her emotions from forming.

“I left you for dead?”

“Yeah nigga, you did!” she yells out at him.

The tears that are welling up in her pretty eyes start to flow down like a river. She quickly tries to wipe them away as she doesn’t want him to see that his actions still have a big affect on her. But it is too late.

“I let my anger get the best of me.”

“No, you let your pride get the best of you!” she yells.

“Beautiful I’m—.”

“Santana please just leave. Why are you even here? I know this is your brother’s house but this is my space. Any other time you would walk around as if we’re strangers instead of husband and wife, so keep pretending that.” Her words are teary as her tears flow down from her eyes and onto her cheeks and lips.

“You love me beautiful?” he asks, in a low tone.

“No, I fucking hate you. Now get out!” she screams, stepping a few inches in his direction but stopping by the dresser.

“Beautiful.” He starts to walks forward towards her direction.

“Santana, stay the fuck away from me.” She grabs the lotion that is on the dresser and throws it at him.

“What the fuck?!” He ducks just in time.

“You left me for dead. You don’t love me so why should I tell you I love you?” she screams as she continues to throw any and everything that is in her eyesight on the dresser at him.

“We took vows and you fucking broke them. I know I fucked up but I would never feed you to the fucking sharks. You promised to fucking protect me but instead you left me and then sent your brother to do what you wasn’t man enough to do!” she yells.

“You fucking killed my brother Bella.”

“You fucking killed mines. You fucking killed my soul. You fucking killed my child due to your cheating and yet I forgave you.”

“Bella—.”

“No, fuck you Santana. I know what I did was wrong, but you have done the same thing. We both took away somebody that was special to us. I know two wrongs don’t make a right, but damn, give me some credit. After everything that went down I turned my back on my familia and stuck by you. I’ve given up everything I have ever known to be with you. But never, never in a million years would I have thought that you would hurt me the way that you did. I swear to God I’d rather you beat me until I was blue and purple. I would have rather you killed me yourself than for you to take me back there,” she says, as a thunderstorm of tears rain down from her eyes.

“I trusted you and you let me down,” he says, as tears well up in his eyes and start to fall.

“I trusted you Santana. We trusted you. We put our lives in your hands for you to protect and you failed us,” she tells him, referring to her and the babies inside her stomach.

Santana looks down at his shoes, unable to look Bella in her eyes. The twosome is silent besides the sound of their crying. Lifting his head up, his blurred eyes stare at her.

“I’m…” he starts to speak but stops.

He begins to move his feet, baby stepping towards her direction. Reaching for her, he grabs her body into his embrace. She doesn’t resist and holds her tight as they both cry in each other arms.

“Beautiful, it’s going to take a lot of praying to get us back to where we were and I’m willing to do that. I fucked up beautiful, but trust me this time I’ll make it right. I love you. This feeling I have for you isn’t going away. It’s still alive in my soul. And I’m done with pretending that it’s buried but it’s not.”

“Santana, both of our trust issues are fucked up. You don’t trust me and I don’t trust you. Let’s just call it quits,” she cries.

“Fuck that. I’m not calling shit quits. Beautiful, I didn’t go through all this shit just to walk away now. Bella, please give us another chance. I miss you. I miss us. Bella, please let’s find a way to make this work. And if it doesn’t then we can call it quits but let’s at least try. Our love is worth fighting for and I know what I did was wrong but I was thinking with my pride and not my heart. I would never put you in harm’s way. I’ll die for you girl.” He cries as he grabs her face and lifts it up so that she can look into his teary eyes and see that he is serious.

“You love me Bella?”

“With all my soul.”

Without saying another word he leans in and kisses her wet lips, giving her a kiss so powerful that everyone that wanted them to fail could feel the shock. After a few minutes of making love to her lips, Santana removes his lips from their meet and greet, reaches for his phone that is in his pocket, and plays with it for a for a quick minute until the sound of Beyoncé and Jay-Z voices comes about. He looks at Bella and they both start to smile.

“
Who wants that perfect love story anyways
?” he starts to sing.

She laughs as he removes the towel that is covering her body and stares at what his selfishness is causing him to miss.

“No, no, no. We can’t. I have a doctor’s appointment,” she tells him, while she tries to grab the towel back from him but he yanks it from her and then throws it across to the other side of the room.

“
If loving you is a crime, tell me why I bring out the best in you
?” he starts singing to her again, as he grabs her hands and begins to lead her to the bed.

“
Without you I have nothing to lose
,” she whispers into his ear as he lowers her naked body onto the bed and then puts himself on top of her body and starts to place candy kisses everywhere that he sees flesh, causing her to moan out in pleasure.

“I love you Santana,” she tells him.

“I love you more beautiful.”

For the first time in a very long time, Bella and Santana let their minds, hearts, bodies, and souls reconnect, becoming one all over again. As the sweet sound of Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s lyrics take their bodies to another world. Their world, their deadly yet loving world that neither one of them is willing to let go yet know only time will tell how long it will last.

** ** **

“Ugh, he’s gone,” Bella, sighs, as she rolls over to an empty bed. Fully opening her eyes, she wakes up in the dark room alone. She reaches for the light switch from the lamp and holds it down to cut it on. She looks around the room for any sign of Santana. There isn’t any. It is like he wasn’t even there to begin with.

“This shit is too good to be true,” she says, as the tears well up in her eyes, falling down onto her cheeks and lips as she cries helplessly. Grabbing the pillow that Santana was laying on, she hugs it tightly as the smell of his body sweat floats into her nose.

“I love you Santana. I’m so sorry for hurting you. Baby, please forgive me. I swear I’ll do anything to change my wrong and bring back the trust you had in me,” she cries out, as if he can actually hear her.

Reaching for her phone on the nightstand, she grabs it and sees that she has a voicemail but ignores it and fumbles with her music until she comes across R. Kelly’s “Down Low.” Pressing play, she starts to laugh as the song comes on. The memory of Santana playing it in her ear whenever they would ooVoo comes into her mind, bringing back the time when they were happy. A time when there love was special and real, a time when they went against the odds to make their love come true. When the song goes off next she plays Michael Jackson’s “Heaven Can Wait.” Raindrops of tears escape from her eyes, as Michael sings what their actions once spoke.

“
Just leave us alone
,” she says, in a teary voice.

Next she lets the voices of Beyoncé and Jay-Z come through her speakers.

“Fuck a perfect love story. I just want a love story!” she yells out.

Loving him is definitely her crime. And the downfall of being disloyal to her familia was Santana finding out the truth.

“Without you I have nothing to lose. I love you Santana. Please come back to me. I’ll die trying to make this right. I never meant to hurt you, to hurt us. I just want us to be one again. To love, trust, and build together again. I’m sorry Santana, I’m sorry. Please come back to me,” she says, before she reaches for the light and turns it off. Laying her body back down, she waits until the song goes off to listen to her voicemail. Putting the phone on speaker she waits until she hears Santana’s teary voice.

“
I love you beautiful with all my heart and soul, but this heart of mine will not let me forget the pain you caused my family and me and the betrayal you caused me. I’ll be there for my children; Seoul will keep me posted when it comes to them and when you go into labor. I now know deep down I’ll never fully forgive you. Someday I hope, I really hope to. But as of now, I can’t. Yes, I love you with every bone in my body and this love is deadly. I just didn’t realize it would be this deadly. This shit is killing my mind, body, and soul to let you go, but staying will kill the both of us. As for a divorce, I can’t wrap my mind around fully losing you, but I know that will be for the best. I’ll file and have my lawyer send the papers to you shortly. I guess loving you was a crime. And now I’m paying for it big time. Maybe someday our paths will cross again, and the love we have for one another will reunite and join together as one. I pray it goes. I pray that you can be my joy through the pain again. I have to go but take care beautiful
.”

She saves the voicemail, presses play on her music, and wraps her body tightly in to the covers, letting the voices of Beyoncé and Jay-Z takes her mind back to a time where she is happy. A time where through the hurt, lies, and pain Santana is still by her side. A time where their happiness is written on their faces instead of this nightmare she is living. The reality of being without him, the reality of Santana and Bella may no longer be.

“I thought this would be different, but it seems as if it’s only getting worse.” She says, in a teary voice.

“I love you Santana. I love you Santana,” she repeats until sleep takes over her soulless body.

Author’s Note

To my believers, I thank you for the endless love and support. I ask that you ever so kindly take a few minutes more of your time and leave a review on Amazon and any other site that you find my work on. I also ask that you try not to give away too much of the story when doing your review. Let’s keep the other readers guessing. Much love and happiness.