Chapter 16
O
livia found a parking space around the corner from the gallery, then walked back to the front entrance. She stood to the side to let the patrons enter while she looked for Connor. It was a bit after seven. She stood there for another ten minutes, beginning to feel silly and maybe stood up, when she spotted him strolling down the street. Relief and that rush that she always felt when she saw him rapidly filled her.
“Hi.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek. She inhaled him. “Sorry to make you wait. I decided to leave my car at home, since you were driving. I walked over. A bit longer than I remember,” he added with a smile.
“It’s fine. Really.” Her eyes moved over his face and she so wanted to be held by him, right there in the middle of the street. “So I’m the designated driver for the night.”
He grinned and the sun rose in the middle of the evening.
“You can handle it.” He placed his hand firmly at the small of her back and guided her inside.
The two-story gallery was one of the cultural centerpieces of the town. It was known to host author book signings, concerts, and fund-raising events. There was always something special set up around the holidays and, of course, art exhibits — from the famous to the budding artist. Tonight’s pieces were by a young artist who was starting to make a name for himself with his eclectic blend of abstract and three-dimensional art.
Olivia and Connor strolled around, looking at and commenting on the pieces, often having the very same likes and dislikes. They’d stopped at the buffet table and were selecting a couple of the canapés when Connor’s name was called. They both turned.
Olivia felt the muscles in Connor’s arm tighten.
“Adrienne.”
She walked up to him as if Olivia was invisible, and kissed him. “Good to see you.”
“Surprised to see you.” His jaw clenched as he wiped his lips with the pad of his thumb. He took Olivia’s hand. “Adrienne Forde, Dr. Olivia Gray.”
Adrienne turned her green eyes on Olivia. Her finely arched right brow rose. “What kind of doctor?”
So
this
was the infamous Adrienne. “Anthropology.”
“Must be nice.” The woman refocused her attention on Connor. “I’ll be in town for a few days doing some research. I’m pitching a television special. I’ll give you a call. Nice to meet you, Doctor.” She turned and was quickly swallowed up in the crowd.
Connor’s body vibrated like a tapped tuning fork. The mere mention of a television show, combined with running into Adrienne, was enough to ruin a perfectly wonderful evening. A shadow settled on his face, clouded his eyes and somehow obscured his features.
“Let’s get out of here.” His grip tightened on Olivia’s hand as he led her to the exit and out. “Where are you parked?”
“Around the corner.”
“Come on. We’ll find someplace to have dinner, or you can just drop me home if you want. Up to you.”
She tugged on his hand to stop his forward stride. “You want to tell me what the hell that was back there and what’s going on now?”
“No.”
Her eyes widened in shock. “Fine. I’m not really hungry anyway. Why don’t I just drop you off?”
“That’s probably best.”
She breezed by him, forcing him to lengthen his stride to catch up with her. He caught her by the arm and spun her around.
“I don’t want to talk about it. Okay? Not now.” He frowned. “Maybe some other time.”
“Fine. Whatever, Connor.” She snatched her arm out of his grip.
“So it’s okay for your former lover to come to me to try to get you to do what he wants, so he can get in your pants, but I can’t get a friendly kiss without you getting pissed?”
Olivia whirled around so fast her head spun. “What! Are you out of your freaking mind? Did you really say that to me?” She was up in his face. The fury racing through her veins blinded her to everything around them.
“Forget it. I’ll walk.” He turned away as a maelstrom of emotions raced through his head. He knew what he felt and what he really wanted to say, but he couldn’t. He simply could not.
“So this is how it’s going to be,” she said softly, halting him in midstride.
He turned around, his head slightly lowered, and then he looked at her and knew in an instant how crazy he was acting. Suddenly, the hurt that had taken the sparkle out of her eyes mirrored his own. He’d done that.
Connor blew out a breath from between parted lips. He slid his hands into his pockets and came toward her. Her eyes glistened and she blinked rapidly. His stomach twisted.
“I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve whatever the hell that was that I just pulled.”
Olivia pressed her trembling lips tightly together.
Connor reached out and cupped her cheek in his palm. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
Olivia swallowed over the tight knot in her throat. “You still feel like walking home?”
* * *
“Are you coming inside?” Connor asked when they pulled up in front of his house. “The least I can do is whip us up something to eat. I’m starved. And you don’t even have to go running with me in the morning.”
Her insides softened. She knew what he meant and she appreciated him all the more for it. “I am pretty starved myself. What can you make beside jambalaya?”
“Dr. Gray, my skills are limitless.” He opened the car door, got out and came around to help her out.
* * *
“You relax, put on the television or some music, whatever you want. I’m going to see what’s in the fridge.”
“Sure you don’t need any help?”
“Nope. Want some wine or something stronger?”
“Hmm, maybe I’ll try a bourbon.”
His entire expression registered surprise. “Coming right up.” He fixed her a small shot with ice and brought it to her. “It has a kick to it.”
“I can handle myself.” She took the shot glass. “Thank you.”
Connor eyed her for a moment, then went into the kitchen.
Olivia lifted the glass to her nose and inhaled, then took her first sip. The liquor burst with heat and flavor on her tongue, then lit tiny fires down her throat and seared through her veins, awakening her, bringing her to full attention, then rocking her into a sense of ease.
“Wow.”
No wonder this is his drink of choice.
* * *
Connor remembered he had a nice-size piece of salmon that he could season and grill, some baby potatoes and sautéed zucchini. He was at work preparing dinner when Olivia joined him in the kitchen.
“Refill?” he asked, briefly looking up from his preparations.
Olivia hopped up on the bar stool. “Oh, no. Not yet.”
He grinned.
“What’s on the menu?”
“Grilled salmon, seasoned to perfection, I might add, and sautéed zucchini with baby potatoes.”
“Yum.”
“I have some sorbet in the freezer for later if you want.”
“Double yum.” She put her glass down. “Are you sure I can’t help with anything?”
“Positive.”
They were quiet for a moment. “We are making a lot of progress on the site,” Connor finally said. “We have about three more structures that need foundation work and then the real restoration can begin.”
“You’ll be working from sketches and photographs?”
“Yes, pretty much, as well as using what’s left and restoring as much as possible to its original condition.”
“I’d really like to be involved in the process. I’m sure I can help.”
“I was thinking the same thing.”
Their eyes met for an instant.
“Anything new with the items that you found the other day?”
“I sent all my notes and photos up to The Institute this morning. The items that I’ve collected so far are sealed and put away. I’m still blown away that the original freedom papers and birth certificates of the Dayton family were found intact.”
They talked for a while about the long-term implications of what she’d found and how it would add to her credibility in the field.
“Not to mention what the finished product will mean for yours,” Olivia said.
Connor put the plates on the table and then took the salmon out of the broiler and brought it to the table. He spooned the sautéed vegetables into a bowl.
“It’s buffet so help yourself. How about a refill on your drink?”
She waved his offer away. “I’m good.”
He chuckled and refilled his glass. “Wine?”
“That will work. Yes. Thanks.”
He went to retrieve a bottle of wine from the living room wine cabinet and poured her a glass.
“To new beginnings,” he said.
“And a lifetime of discoveries.” She tapped her glass to his.
* * *
“You really are a Renaissance man,” Olivia said after dinner. “You cook, you’re handy with tools, you like art, music.”
You’re an incredible lover
.
Connor settled back on the couch. “I work hard at the things I enjoy.” He reached for his glass and took a swallow.
“What’s next for you after this project is completed?”
“Hmm, I was thinking about a short vacation, maybe to one of the islands, to just relax and unwind for a while. What about you?”
“Well, now that I won’t be running things from behind a desk, I know that I want to go to South America and research some of the ruins. But that will be a while from now. Dayton Village is going to take up a great deal of time even after the work here is done. That’s when mine really begins. There will be scholarly journals to write for, archival reports, speaking engagements, more papers to write.” She smiled. “And I teach in the fall at Columbia.”
“Oh, really? I didn’t know that.”
“Yes, I’ve been there about five years now. I love it.”
“You’re a busy lady.”
All she had was her work.
“So the only time you get to play and relax is while you’re working.”
“Hmm, pretty much.”
“When was the last time you were on a real vacation, one that had nothing to do with work?”
She thought for a moment. “Wow, I… don’t remember.”
“All work and no play… ”
“My work is who I am, what I do,” she countered.
“That is so far from the truth. You use work to identify yourself, to make you whole.” He moved closer to her on the couch. “You’re so much more than that.” He stared into her eyes until she looked away.
“You have no idea who I am… and neither do I.”
“Olivia, I can’t say that I can imagine or understand what it’s like not to know your birth parents, but that’s only a toss of the dice and genetics. The result of it all is you. You’re the woman you are because you decided it was who you wanted to be.” He was thoughtful for a moment. “When we met I was good with the whole idea that whatever happened between us was temporary. We’d enjoy each other for the time being and move on. That’s the way I’d been living my life, no matter what it was that the woman wanted. So it was easy for me to walk away when it was over for me, because I was the only person that mattered. And everyone knew the rules going in.” He shifted his position. “But you aren’t all agreeable to this temporary thing because you don’t want to get involved. You’re afraid of giving yourself fully to anyone.”
Olivia turned her face away. “That’s not true.”
“Of course it is.” He pushed out a breath. “Adrienne is my reason. Fear is yours.”
Olivia slowly turned her head. “What did she do?”
He looked off into the distance, seeing the past come to life. “We’d been seeing each other exclusively for about a year. She’s an art buyer for several galleries around the country. That’s how we met. She was building her brand and there was even talk about having her open her own gallery with one-of-a-kind pieces from around the world. That takes money, of course. Anyway, I knew I wasn’t ready to settle down. I was establishing myself in my business, making a name, enjoying life. And then one day she tells me that she’s pregnant. If there was one thing that was grilled into us Lawsons from the time we could understand, it was that we were to be honorable men. So, as an honorable man, I did the honorable thing and asked her to marry me. Bought her the biggest diamond I could find, took her home to meet the family, and a week before the very quickly put together wedding, I walked in on a conversation that she was having with her best friend, Claire.” He snorted a derisive laugh. “Apparently the whole pregnancy was a ruse, and if she really was pregnant she wasn’t sure if it was mine or Jeremy Blake’s, her supposed-to-be ex’s. She thought that was quite funny. My lucky number was drawn because I had the name and the money to help her finance her dream.”
Olivia mumbled a curse under her breath. She could still see the hurt behind his eyes.
“The thing was I cared about Adrienne. I would have made a go of it.” Connor swallowed. “After that… ” He shrugged, then finished off his drink.
Olivia sadly shook her head. In her wildest dreams she couldn’t imagine any woman not wanting this man in all the right ways. The pickings were slim when it came to truly eligible men. But it was women like Adrienne Forde that made it bad for everyone else.
“I take it she wants you back.”
“So she says. She’s been saying that in one way or the other for the past couple of years.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“Does she have a chance at getting you back?” Olivia asked, as casually as she could.
“
Your
job is uncovering and returning to the past. Not mine.”
“You restore and repair what’s found, worn and broken,” she said softly.
He reached out and caressed her cheek. “I try, Olivia. But I can’t with you if you won’t let me.”
For an instant her heart stopped. “I… I didn’t know that you wanted to try.”
“Now you do.” He pulled her into his arms and covered her mouth with his.
Chapter 17
I
n the following weeks Olivia and Connor spent most of their free time together, taking in the sights of the town, talking, sharing the highlights of their workday and slowly allowing some of their walls to come down.
For Olivia it was more difficult. Connor had to deal with only a single altering event in his life. It hadn’t shaped him; it had merely shifted his direction. She had to face the idea that what ate at her soul was decades in the making and she might never be whole, at least not in the way that Connor needed and deserved. But she kept those thoughts to herself and tried as best she could to believe that this thing between them could ever be more than temporary.
* * *
Connor had to go into town to pick up a shipment of supplies that had arrived. While he loaded his truck, Ruth Farmer, a retired local librarian, stopped to chat and ask about the progress of the restoration.
“Things are coming along slowly but surely, Ms. Farmer. Several of the buildings are completed. I give it another two months and we should be done.”
“That is just wonderful. I was so sad to see that no one ever took an interest in the place. There is so much of our history on that land.”
“Very true.”
Suddenly her dim blue-gray eyes sparkled with life. “Did you know that about fifteen years ago the library served as the local Chamber of Commerce?”
“No, I didn’t know that.”
“But there was a terrible fire. So much was destroyed,” she said sadly. “But—” she raised a thin finger “—I was able to salvage some of the books. They weren’t in any condition to return to the new library, so I kept them stored away in my attic. I’m almost positive I have something in there on Dayton Village.”
“Would you mind if I take a look? I’m working with Dr. Gray from New York. She’s doing the research on the original settlers. I’m sure she would be interested in whatever you might have.”
“Of course. Of course. Do you want to come now?”
He thought about the supplies that were needed back at the site. “Sure. That would be great. I’ll just take a quick look.”
He followed her home and she took him up to the attic, where there were at least two dozen boxes filled with the remains of the library collection.
Ms. Farmer gingerly walked around the boxes toward the back wall. “I tried to label them as best as I could. It’s the librarian in me,” she said with a grin. “The box that should have the Dayton Village memorabilia should be back here.” She pushed aside a naked mannequin and stepped around an old wooden chest that looked as if it should have been on a pirate’s ship. “Yes! Here it is.” She stepped aside. “The one on top.”
Connor walked around her and lifted the box down from the top of the stack and set it on the floor. Dust blew into his face. He brushed a coating of it off the top of the box with his work glove and took off the lid.
“You take all the time you need.” She patted his shoulder and left him to work.
Connor sat on the floor and lifted the contents out of the box. Carefully, one by one, he went through the papers and books, many of them too distorted and damaged by age, fire and water to be of much use, at least not to him. But then he stopped cold when opened a book and saw a grainy sepia photograph of a woman who could have easily been Olivia’s twin seventy-five years earlier. Her name was Ellen Dayton and it was her wedding photo to Robert Holmes. The next page told of Ellen and Robert’s daughter Constance, who married Phillip Gray and had a daughter with him, Leslie Gray. The images were too distorted to make out. There was no indication that Leslie had ever married, only that she’d gone away to school to Atlanta, at Spelman.
The same city where Olivia grew up
. The pages after that were too badly damaged to make out.
Connor’s pulse raced. He knew he had something. He could feel it. What it all meant he wasn’t sure. He asked Ms. Farmer if he could borrow the book, with the promise that he would take excellent care of it and return it to her.
He made a quick stop at the site, unloaded the truck and told Jake that he would be gone for the rest of the day. He called Olivia. She was still on the road from her day trip to Manhattan. She said she should be back in town in about an hour or more.
“Can you meet me at my house?”
She talked to him through her headphones. “Sure. Is everything okay?”
“Yes. See you when you get here.”
* * *
Connor kept staring at the photograph of Ellen Dayton. The resemblance was uncanny, right down to the tiny cleft in her chin. Cleft chins were a genetic trait passed down from parent to child. What if Olivia
was
a descendent and this wasn’t some fluke discovery? Maybe she still had family out there, a real family. And if she did, maybe then she could get the answers that she’d been spending her life searching for.
How could anyone have given her up, given her away? They had no idea of the incredible woman that she would become, despite them.
Olivia was amazing. She was brilliant and kind and sexy and loving. Had he been looking for a woman, he would have been looking for an Olivia Gray. But he wasn’t looking and that was precisely why she was in his life. She was supposed to be. He could try to downplay it and not feed into what had happened between them over the past couple of months. But despite the roadblocks and the temporary walls, he had fallen in love with her.
The reality hit him like a punch in the gut. It stole his breath and for a moment his thoughts swam and struggled to rise to the surface.
He was in love with her
. “I’m in love with her.” Saying the words out loud gave them life.
Connor pushed up from the couch and slowly paced the room. Loving her would never be enough. If he knew nothing else about Olivia, he knew that she was not willing and was unable to truly give in to love with anyone until she understood and found out who she was.
He glanced over his shoulder to the worn book on the table. In those pages and somewhere out there might be the answers that she was looking for. But what if they weren’t? What if it was all an awful coincidence, and he was the one that would give her hope when there wasn’t any? Could he do that to her?
His ringing phone interrupted the turn of his thoughts. He snatched it up from the table and a half smile lifted his mouth.
“Hey, sis.”
“Hey, big brother. Long time. How are you? You don’t call, you don’t write,” she teased.
Connor chuckled. “Very funny. I could say the same thing about you, Sydni. You don’t stay still long enough to call or write. So to what do I owe the pleasure?” He plopped down on the couch and stretched out his long legs.
“Well, if you must know, I’m pregnant!”
“What! Congratulations, sis. How is Gabriel taking it?”
“He is beyond thrilled,” she said, the joy in her voice palpable.
“I guess this means traveling the world is going to have to slow down for a bit.”
“Yes, but I’m fine with that.”
“You?” He chuckled. His sister was the next in charge of their father’s mega global marketing enterprise. They handled some of the biggest corporations and überentertainers and executives in the country and out, which was how she’d met her husband, Gabriel St. James. Connor was hard-pressed to see his sister puttering around in their sprawling house cooing and burping a baby. But anything was possible.
“Anyway, the reason why I’m calling is, of course, to share my news with my big brother. But I — we, Gabe and I — want you to be our child’s godfather.”
For the second time in less than an hour the wind was knocked out of him. “Sis, are you sure? I mean, of course I will.”
“Thank you, CJ,” she said. It was her pet name for him since they were kids — Connor James. “I know it all seems kind of soon, but you know me, plan ahead.” She laughed.
“How far along?”
“Four months.”
“And you’re just getting around to telling me?”
“We wanted to wait, make sure everything was okay.”
“Hmm, I get it. And… is everything okay?”
“So far.” She paused. “The doctor says that I have a few medical issues and I will probably be on bed rest in my last few months. But we will have to see.”
His body tensed. “What kind of medical issues?”
“Apparently I have a weak cervix, and a heart murmur, which supposedly I’ve had since I was a child. But no one ever told me.”
He snapped his head at the news. “Are you okay? That’s all I want to know.”
“Yes, yes, I’m fine. I’m taking it easy, taking my vitamins and doing what the doctor says. So please don’t worry.”
“Too late on that score.” Connor leaned forward and rested his arms on his thighs. “Does Dad know?”
“Not yet. I was planning to tell him over the weekend. I’m going to have to stop working in about another month or two. That’s going to send shock waves through the company.”
“They’ll survive. The important thing is you and your baby.”
“My sentiments exactly! So enough about me. What’s going on with you? How is the project going? What’s happening in your life?”
Connor leaned back, his body slowly relaxing. “Well… ”
* * *
“Oh, CJ, I am beyond happy for you. You have no idea. After that witch Adrienne… Grrr. Every time I think about her I want to catch her after work and give her a Nawlins beat down.”
Connor broke out laughing.
“I’m serious.”
“She was here.”
“Say what?”
“Adrienne was here a few weeks back. Still trying to get me to forgive her and start over.”
“You have got to be kidding. The nerve. She knows she blew a good thing. Anyway, I don’t want to talk about her. I want to meet Olivia. I have to meet her. Any woman who can put that kind of soft bass in your voice has to be my kind of girl,” she teased.
Connor chuckled. “In due time.” He hesitated, unsure of how much he should reveal to his sister. But growing up, he and Sydni had been thick as thieves, covering for each other, sticking up for each other, sharing their adventures, getting advice. If anyone would understand, Sydni would. “It’s not quite as simple as it seems… ”
* * *
“Damn, CJ, can’t life ever be easy? Wow. Well, if you’re asking for my advice I say tell her. Let her make the decision on whether or not she wants to pursue it. Because if she finds out later that you knew, and from everything you’ve told me about her she will, she will never forgive you. I know I wouldn’t.”
“You’re probably right.”
“Probably? I’m always right.”
“No, you’re not, Syd. We got that split down the middle.”
“Hmm. If you say so. Anyway, do the right thing. Or at least what your soul tells you to do. And make plans to visit. I need to see you.”
“I will. Listen, tell Gabe congrats, and you — you take care of yourself and my godchild.”
She laughed. “I will. I have my feet up as we speak.”
“Good girl.”
“Love you, CJ,” she said softly.
“Back at you.”
The call ended and he put the phone down on the table next to the book.