Chapter 18
O
livia’s nerves were still on edge from her confrontation with Victor. Never in her wildest dreams would she have thought that he would be so petty and stoop so low. Her fingers gripped the wheel. All her hard work, her years of dedication out the window, her research questioned. Unreal. He’d actually said out loud in front of staff members, at the meeting, that most of her time had been spent cultivating a relationship rather than doing her job. She was so stunned by what he’d said that for several moments she couldn’t respond. Everyone in the room looked everywhere but at her. If that wasn’t bad enough, he went on to insinuate that her research was questionable because the chain of custody was unclear. This was potentially one of the greatest discoveries of her career and Victor was determined to taint it in whatever way he could, simply because he couldn’t have her the way he wanted.
She sniffed back the threat of tears. She refused to be broken by Victor Randall or anyone else. She was highly respected in her field and there would be plenty of opportunities out there for her. Besides, maybe it was time that she took a break, had a real vacation as Connor suggested.
Olivia turned on her headlights. She’d hoped to get back to Sag Harbor before it got dark. She was still a bit unfamiliar with the roads and the turns, and preferred to do her driving during the day. So much for that plan. Her exit was a mile up ahead. After that she had about another twenty-minute drive.
The closer she came, the more she realized how much she needed to see Connor. He had a way of soothing the ragged parts of her, filling up some of the empty spaces. And it wasn’t so much what he did or said, it was his presence, just being there.
Many evenings they spent together doing nothing more than watching a movie or stretching out on the couch to listen to music. There wasn’t always heavy discussion, or even light conversation. Some nights they were content simply being together in the same space. She’d never had that with a man before, being that kind of comfortable.
But tonight she needed to talk. She needed to pour out her frustration and her anger without censure. And then she needed to be held and to be told that it was Victor’s loss, and that the best was right in front of her. She needed to be made love to and caressed and soothed, everything to make this day disappear.
Finally she pulled into town, thought about making a quick stop at the market, but didn’t want to spend any more time away from Connor. She made the turn onto the single-lane road that led to his house.
* * *
“I asked you not to call me, Adrienne. We have nothing to talk about. Period.”
“Connor, if we could just sit down, have drinks and talk… That’s all I’m asking.”
“You don’t get it. There is nothing for us to talk about. We said it all.”
“It’s because of her, isn’t it, the woman I saw you with?” she demanded, her tone shifting from pleading to accusatory.
“Whether or not that’s true, it’s none of your damned business.”
“Then, it is true.” She sniffed. “She’s some big-time researcher at The Institute in New York. I looked her up.”
Connor’s chest tightened. The idea that Adrienne was checking into Olivia didn’t sit well with him at all.
“What is it about her? What can she do for you that I can’t if you’d let me?”
“Adrienne, if whatever you thought you could do for me was lined with platinum, it wouldn’t matter. What you did, to me, to us, can never be repaired. You lied and you swept dozens of others up in your lie.”
“I know. Connor, please. I only did it because I was scared of losing you.”
“I’ve heard it all before, Adrienne. You weren’t scared of losing me. You were scared that you might lose your ticket to your well-orchestrated future. Look, I would hate to have to change my number. A great deal of my business is tied to this number. But I will do it to keep you from calling.” He heard a car pull into the driveway. “Goodbye, Adrienne.”
Adrienne looked out her car window and watched Olivia walk up to the house. Moments later the door opened and Connor greeted her with a sensual kiss. Adrienne waited for Olivia to go inside before she turned on her lights and drove away.
* * *
“How was the drive?” Connor draped his arm across Olivia’s shoulder as they walked inside.
“Not bad.” She rested her head on his shoulder.
“What’s wrong?” He turned her to face him. His eyes scanned her face but her gaze wouldn’t meet his. “Liv, what happened?”
Her throat clenched. She shook her head. “I don’t know where to begin.”
“Wherever you want to, just tell me what’s going on?”
She walked over to the couch and sat.
“You want something to drink? Wine?”
“A little bourbon,” she said with a weak smile, to his surprise.
“Not a problem.” He fixed a drink for them both and brought them over. He sat next to her. “Tell me.”
By the time Olivia finished retelling the unbelievable afternoon she’d had, Connor was beyond livid. Clearly Victor’s “friendly” visit had been a bunch of bull and he’d only spouted a load of crap. His showboating at the meeting only added to the fury Connor was barely keeping a lid on after the call from Adrienne. It was one thing for Adrienne to do her number on him, but he would not stand idly by while that so-called man tried to eviscerate Olivia and all that she stood for. The more she explained and the more he heard the hurt and anger in her voice, the more determined he was to put an end to the BS once and for all.
“So where do you stand now with your job?”
“I still have a job, at least until my contract expires, but my credibility has been called into question with my colleagues, many of whom I supervise at one point or another.” She snuggled closer and sipped her drink. The warm liquid softened the tattered fringes of her day, and allowed her to see it through a soft haze.
“In another month Victor will be gone. You still have work here to do, and the people that know you and know your reputation are not going to swallow that crap that he tried to shove down their throats. And if they do, then they were never in your corner or had your back. You do what you do best — research and evaluation. This project is major and you’re taking the lead on it. Don’t let Victor Randall rob you of that out of his own petty ego issues. Don’t let today trip you up and make you lose focus or question yourself. I’m not going to let you do it, so don’t even think about it.”
She tilted her face up to him and smiled through watery eyes. “I know you’re right. I told myself the same thing on the drive back. I guess what makes it so much harder is that Victor knows about some of my struggles with my identity and my roots, and it’s because of those things that I work so hard on providing proof, being accurate, validating everything as if that somehow says that I’m good, I’m okay, I’m real. He used what he knew about me to try to hurt me.” She snorted a laugh. “It’s why I keep the walls up. Today was a result of what happens when you let someone in.” She started to get up but her head spun, the bourbon hitting the spot, especially on an empty stomach.
Connor held her arm. “Are you saying that includes me?”
She looked at him but couldn’t keep him in focus. “Only time will tell.” She sighed heavily, unaware of how her remark stung him. She curled closer to him, rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes.
Connor leaned his head back against the couch and stretched his arm along Olivia’s body. He would prove to her that what she would have with him could never be compared to what she’d experienced before. He’d be there for her no matter what the outcome was from the book that he’d found, or whatever happened with her job. They’d deal with it together.
He glanced down at her lightly sleeping form and eased out from under her. She needed food, a hot bath and then whatever happened between the sheets. Tomorrow he would tell her about the book.
* * *
Olivia blinked against the soft light that inched across the floor. She squinted at the bedside clock. It was nearly six thirty. She groaned softly and turned, delighted to find Connor still in bed and not halfway down the beach. Her eyes drifted close. By degrees the previous evening replayed in her head. She’d been an emotional mess when she’d arrived and had blurted and blubbered what had happened, all the while sipping on a glass of bourbon that had apparently gone straight to her head. The rest of the evening was a bit of a blur. She vaguely remembered eating and then being… bathed! Her eyes flew open and her body came fully alive.
She turned on her side to face Connor, who as always was gorgeously naked beneath the sheet. His arm was tossed across his eyes. Olivia grinned and gently lifted the sheet before sliding her body across his.
Connor groaned.
“Mornin’,” she whispered as she slowly stroked him to life. “How about a little run around the bed to get the day started?” She buzzed in his ear before nibbling the lobe.
He clapped her rear end in his palms and gently squeezed. “Be careful what you wish for, little lady,” he said, his voice still rough with sleep. “Why don’t you climb aboard and let’s see what you got.”
“My pleasure… or should I say ours.” She straddled him and rested her weight on her knees while she positioned herself above his erection, which was clearly calling her name. The swollen head pressed against the slickness of her opening. She eased down and the first inch of him spread her, excited her. She bit down on her lip to keep from waking the neighbors as he filled her, until the air lodged in her lungs.
They found their rhythm and it flowed like hot lava coursing through their veins. The musical notes of their groans and sighs matched the tempo of their slow grind, which escalated to quick, hard thrusts and long undulations of hips.
Connor wanted to be everywhere at once: inside her, kissing her, suckling her, caressing her. It was maddening to want someone as much as he wanted her, and to want to satisfy her, put his mark on her so that she would never forget the magic that they made together. He would never get enough of her. Never.
Her entire body was one electrified nerve, sensitive to every touch, kiss, groan and whisper of her name, which all sent her closer and closer to the cliff of no return.
“Liv… ” he moaned, pushing up hard inside her.
Her spine curved back, the veins in her neck pulsed, the tips of her nipples rose, the shudder began deep in her soul and like a lid lifted off a boiling pot of soup, she bubbled over. Connor grabbed her hips, holding her in place even as her insides sucked and quickened around him. He was on the brink. The tendons in his neck strained; his muscles tensed. The throb began deep in his loins, tightened, pulsed and expelled in one long upward thrust.
Olivia collapsed on his chest. Wave after wave of aftershock pleasure rolled through her. She was weak, spent and could easily while away the rest of her day holding Connor between her legs and listening to his heart beat against her ear. She closed her eyes and gave in to the moment.
Connor was still hard. He wanted her again. His erection jumped in agreement. Crazy. He clenched his jaw and pulled her tight against him and willed himself to chill.
After they’d both calmed, Olivia reluctantly eased off and rolled onto her back. She reached for his hand and he wrapped his strong fingers around her palm.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Mmm-hmm. You?”
“Yeah.” He squeezed her hand. “I was thinking about what you said last night.”
“Humph, that bourbon did a number on me. What did I say?”
Connor turned his head toward her. “You said that you do what you do to prove your worth, show that you’re of value.” He felt her shrinking. “Don’t. Don’t turn away.” He turned on his side to face her. “There’s nothing that you have to prove to me, Olivia. Nothing. I want you to trust me, to believe that what we have is special. It’s personal — between us — and not for the world to know.”
Her doe-brown eyes glistened with unshed tears. One escaped and slid down her cheek. “I want that,” she said. Her voice cracked with emotion. “I want to know that I matter to someone, that I wasn’t just a thing to be gotten rid of.”
“Oh,
cher
.” He pulled her to him and held her tight. He kissed the top of her head, stroked her back. “You matter to me.” His gaze grazed her face. He caressed her cheek. “More than you could imagine.”
Her bottom lip trembled.
He adjusted his position so that he was above her. “Look at me.”
Her eyes settled on his face.
“I love you, Olivia.”
Olivia’s eyelids fluttered; her lips parted ever so slightly. She felt a kind of warmth spread from her belly. Her heart began to pound. She couldn’t catch her breath. She’d never heard those words from anyone before. “I… Connor… ” Tears sprang from her eyes. “No one has ever loved me.”
His heart nearly broke with the weight of her pain. He squeezed her to him. “Someone loves you now.
I do
. I love you, Olivia.” He held her and rocked her and whispered to her, soothed her until her cries had subsided.
Olivia curled into his embrace, wanting to get so close that she became a part of him. Love. It was an emotion that always eluded her. As she’d grown up and moved from place to place, family to family, she’d found a way to strip herself of emotion, surround herself with an invisible barrier so that she wouldn’t become attached. There were times that she was so hungry for love that she grew ill. The doctor prescribed vitamins. There wasn’t a pill for what she needed. And now someone was here to love her, had professed his love for her. Finally, the one thing that she’d longed for had arrived, and she had no experience on how to return it.
Chapter 19
C
onnor knew that Olivia was deeply shaken by his admittance of love. It was still incredibly hard for him to fathom that one could go through life without being surrounded by love. He could only imagine how being a foster child had shaped her life and perception of the world and who she was in it. Unfortunately, not much of it was good. It would take time for her to accept what he’d said and, more important, to believe what he’d said. Her entire life of relationships was built on a temporary and no-commitment foundation. But he was a patient man. He would wait however long it took.
“Hey,” said a whispered voice behind him.
Connor looked at Olivia’s reflection in the bathroom mirror. “Hey, sleepyhead.” He stretched his jaw and slowly glided the shaver across the morning stubble.
She leaned against the door frame. “I kind of like the after-five look.”
He took a quick glance over his shoulder and grinned. “Oh, yeah. I’ll keep that tomorrow.” He finished up, splashed water on his face and toweled off.
Olivia smiled at the reveal. “Not bad.”
“Thanks.” He walked up to her, rested his hands on her hips and took her mouth in a quick, sweet kiss. He brushed his thumb across her bottom lip. “I put on coffee.”
She looped her arm through his. “After a quick shower, I’ll fix breakfast.”
“No argument from me.”
* * *
Connor toyed with his coffee cup and mulled over how best to spring the news on Olivia about the book. He didn’t want to give her false hope, but he couldn’t keep it from her. She was a highly skilled researcher. If there was evidence one way or the other about her origins in the pages of that book, Olivia would find it.
Olivia spooned the scrambled eggs onto a platter along with the grilled Italian sausages. “Not my finest effort,” she said lightly. She put the platter in the center of the table. “But it’s guaranteed to hit the spot. I saw some OJ in the fridge. Want some?”
“Sure.” He watched her move around his living space with the ease of someone who belonged there. Even as heavy as things had become between him and Adrienne, he’d rarely had her stay at his place. He could probably count the times on one hand. It never occurred to him until now why. He didn’t want to share his space, his sanctuary, with anyone else. He lifted the coffee mug to his lips and stared at Olivia above the rim. Now he did.
“What?” Olivia said with a curious grin when she caught him staring. “Egg on my face?”
“No. Nothing like that. Just looking.”
She sat down opposite him. “Something’s on your mind. I can feel it. What is it?”
He pushed out a breath. “Stay right here.” He got up and went into the living room. He went to the bookcase and took the book from between a Jeffery Deaver thriller and a journal on modern restoration. For a moment he felt the weight of it in his hands, then went back to the kitchen. Gingerly he set it down on the table between them.
“What’s that?”
He told her about running into Ms. Farmer and coming across the book in her attic. “I don’t know what it means or if it means anything at all but I couldn’t let it go.” He pushed the book toward her.
The badly faded embossed lettering on the front cover was barely legible. She could just make out “Dayton-Gray.” Her gaze flew to Connor.
Her fingers trembled ever so slightly as she opened the book. Much of it was hard to make out without the proper equipment. The pages were stiff from water and smoke damage and the words and images were faint as ghosts. And then she turned a page and a picture of what could easily have been her stared back at her.
Olivia’s breath caught in her chest. She blinked, stared, peered closer. She tenderly ran her hand across the image and the name below. Ellen Dayton. The resemblance was remarkable.
But as remarkable as it was, it didn’t make sense until she read a bit further about the Dayton-Gray line. The last entry was about the great-granddaughter of Ellen. Her name was Leslie. The entries and story ended there. The subsequent pages were totally destroyed. The name Leslie Gray was the only identifier on Olivia’s birth certificate, which she’d had to fight to obtain. But as hard as she’d tried, and despite all the resources that she’d used, she’d never been able to uncover anything beyond the name Leslie Gray — until now.
Trancelike, Olivia closed the book and rested her hands on the cover. “I… I’m not sure what it all means.” She swallowed. “But maybe now I have a new place to start.” She shook her head. “It couldn’t be… could it?”
Connor stretched his hand across the table and covered hers. “It could be the answer that you’ve been searching for or it could be a twisted coincidence.” He squeezed her hands. “Whatever way it goes, I’m not going anywhere.”
Olivia sniffed. “Thank you,” she whispered.
* * *
Connor dropped Olivia off at home with the promise to see her later. He had a lot of catching up to do at the site.
Before Connor was fully out of the driveway Olivia was on her cell phone scrolling through her contact list. She had a friend, Naomi Hailey, who worked for the National Endowment for the Arts, one of the agencies helping to fund the project that she was working on. Olivia was hoping that Naomi could work her magic and come up with some background on Leslie Gray, now that she finally had something more to go on than a name.
“Olivia, good to hear from you. How are things?”
“Good. Busy. Listen, I have a favor to ask.”
“Sure. If I can.”
“I need you to see if you can find any information on a Leslie Gray. She is related to Ellen Dayton of Dayton Village.”
“Really? Okay. I’ll look into what we have on file and get back to you as soon as I can.”
“Thanks, Naomi.”
Olivia’s nerves twanged with every breath she took as she waited for Naomi to call back. The chances of her being related to Leslie Gray were remote at best. But stranger things had happened. She must have walked a country mile and then some by the time Naomi called back.
“Did you find anything on Leslie Gray?” she spouted on the heels of hello.
“Well, not exactly. There’s nothing on her at all other than her mother is Constance Dayton Gray. Her I have information on.”
Olivia’s heart galloped at racetrack speed. “I’m listening. No, wait. Let me get a pen.”
“Relax, I’m going to email everything to you. Just a little heads-up. She lives in Harlem on what was once Strivers Row. I’ll send over the phone number, as well.”
Olivia could barely get out the words
thank you
. She disconnected the call, bit down on her lip as if that would somehow contain the maelstrom of anxiety that was zipping through her. She hurried over to her computer and clicked on her email account. The seconds ticked by while she waited for the email from Naomi to arrive.
Finally the telltale
bing
. Olivia clicked on the email and opened it. She was so nervous she had to read everything twice before it made sense to her. Before she did anything totally crazy she called Connor, who told her to simply take a breath and do what she did best — dig for information.
“Call her,” he urged. “Explain the project that you’re working on and see what she says.”
“Right. Right,” Olivia said. “Okay. I’ll call.”
“Don’t forget to breathe,” he teased. “Call me after.”
“I will.”
Olivia squeezed the phone in her hand, said a silent prayer and then tapped in the number that Naomi had given her.
The phone rang and rang and her pulse raced and raced and then someone answered.
“Gray residence.”
“Yes. Hello. My name is Olivia Gray. Dr. Olivia Gray, and I hoped to reach Constance Gray.”
“Speaking.”
Her knees wobbled. Slowly she lowered herself into an available chair. “Ms. Gray. You don’t know me, but I’m an anthropologist working on the restoration of Dayton Village in Sag Harbor.”
There was a long moment of silence.
“I… Oh, my. Someone called months ago and asked permission… and you are the one working on it.”
“Yes. I am.”
“How can I help you? None of the family has been there in decades. I can’t imagine what’s left.”
“Oh, Ms. Gray, you would be amazed. We’ve found some of the original freedom papers, birth records and even schoolbooks from the early settlers.” Olivia paused, took a breath. “I was hoping that you would be willing to meet with me.”
“I don’t know how much I can add to what you already know, but… of course. I’d love to see what you’ve discovered.”
Olivia fought to contain her excitement. “Wonderful. I know this may seem rushed, but I could drive out to see you tomorrow afternoon if that works for you.”
Another long pause, then the woman asked, “Will three o’clock work with your schedule?”
“Absolutely.”
“Fine. Take this address.”
Olivia wrote down the address and cross streets. “Thank you so much, Ms. Gray. I’ll see you tomorrow at three.”
“See you then, Dr. Gray.
Gray
. Curious that it would be a Gray that found a Gray.”
Olivia swallowed. “Yes.”
“Tomorrow then, Dr. Gray.”
Olivia put the phone down. Her thoughts were spinning around in her head so fast that she couldn’t latch on to one long enough for it to make sense. What if? What if her journey’s end was only a few hours away?
The ringing of the phone startled her back to reality. She snatched it up from the table.
“Connor, I called. I spoke to Constance Gray,” she burst out before he had a chance to say a word. “And I’m going to see her tomorrow.”
“Whoa. You spoke with her?”
“Yes. I told her who I was and what I was doing, and when I asked if I could meet with her, she agreed. Tomorrow at three.”
“Baby, I’m happy for you. But keep your feet on the ground. This could be something or it could be nothing at all.”
Olivia blew out a breath. “I know.” She waited a beat. “That’s why I want you to come with me.”
“Whatever you need.”
Her insides smiled. “See you when you get off?”
“I’ll think about it,” he joked. “Around eight.”
“See you.”
Olivia flopped onto the couch and stretched out her legs. She closed her eyes as a sudden wave of exhaustion wilted her limbs — the aftereffect from the rush of adrenaline. She knew she needed to stay focused. Although this was without a doubt a personal quest, she had to keep at the forefront that it was also her job. This family was part of the history of Dayton Village, and no matter what else might happen, Olivia was responsible for gathering and documenting the information. She could not allow her personal issues to cloud her professionalism.
Tomorrow could not arrive fast enough.