My Real (9 page)

“Good night sweetheart. I love you to the moon and back,” I whisper and kiss her forehead.

I walk downstairs to find Bailey sitting on the swing on the back deck listening to Nora Jones on her iPhone. I sit down beside her, wrap my arm around her shoulder, and she puts her head on my shoulder.

“Does she always go down that fast?” she asks me.

“Yes, she has always been a good sleeper,” I answer.

We sit quietly for a few minutes in comfortable silence.

“So what did Ella have to say when you called her this afternoon?” I ask through a smile. Bailey looks up at me confused for a second then the pieces start fitting together.

“She was a little surprised that I didn’t make it home until after two today. She was really surprised that we are out again tonight already. She is holding an intervention tomorrow at lunch while we write curriculum for school,” Bailey explains.

“An intervention?” I ask surprised. “What kind of intervention?”

“She said she just wanted me to go out and have some fun. Not to drop into a relationship the day I got divorced,” Bailey replies, slowly kicking off to swing again.

“What did you tell her?” I ask, starting to get really worried. I was planning on having this conversation with her, but not so soon. I’m not sure she is ready to label this new relationship either.

“I told her I’m sure the last thing you were thinking about was getting into a serious relationship right now,” she slowly replies. She looks like she isn’t too sure about her answer to my question or what my response will be. Was she worried that I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship, or that I would? I had to know.

“Would it be a bad thing being in a relationship with me?” I ask. She looks like a deer in head lights. I decide to let her off the hook. “Bailey, I would love nothing more than for this to eventually go somewhere.” I say gesturing between us. “I know we are both just coming out of really bad marriages, but I don’t think we should let that stop us. Why should we continue to live unhappily because of the partners we chose so early in life?” I push her up and move my leg straight so she can sit against my chest between my legs.

“It’s a very scary thought. I have been divorced for twenty-four hours now and you’re still technically married. My head keeps screaming at me to slow down. Are we being responsible jumping into something so soon? Dave is the only man I ever dated. If I couldn’t make that relationship work after being with someone for so long, who’s to say I can make this one last.” I start to run my fingers through her long silky hair.

“Bailey, we are not twenty-one anymore. We’re adults who have both been through the wringer. We now know the things we need in a relationship. I know I need someone who will listen to me and respect my ideas. I know I need someone who will stand next to me if a problem arises, not behind me, pushing me ahead, waiting for me to fix it. I know I need someone who can love Emerson as much as I do. I know that you’re the person who can fulfill all of these things.” I pause for a second to let that sink in. I then continue, “You said your head is telling you to slow down. What is your heart telling you?”

She pauses a moment and turns to look into my eyes. She brings her hand up to her heart and holds it there. “My heart tells me that I feel comfortable and safe in your arms. My heart tells me that you’re nothing like Dave, and I’ll be enough for you. It tells me I need let go of all my inhabitations or I may lose the best thing that has ever happened to me. My heart tells me to hold on and never let go.”

“I think you should listen to your heart.”

Bailey smiles that smile that melts my heart. That real smile I remember from the first time I saw her in college.

“Bailey, can you honestly tell me you are ready to jump into a relationship with this guy?”

Ella and I are sitting on her living room floor eating Chinese takeout and plugging though our teacher’s manuals. She has been rambling on now for over thirty minutes doing more talking than working. It is a fight every summer to make Ella do any work, especially this early in the summer.

She sits there looking at me, waiting for an answer. I didn’t hear the last bit of her rant, so I’m not sure I know what to say to her.

“Ella, listen. I’m not getting married tomorrow. I had more fun in the past twenty-four hours with the two of them than I’ve had in years.”

“Two of them? Bailey! Is this about the little girl? Are you thinking this is your only chance to be a mother?” Ella questions sitting up straighter. She looks like she is about to pounce on me at any second depending on my answer.

Now I’m going to have my say.

“No, it has nothing to do with her. I just want to be happy. For years, I was miserable living with Dave.” I stand up frustrated and walk over to the kitchen to get another bottle of water. “I hadn’t laughed with Dave in months. Do you know that we stopped having sex a year before we got a divorce? Last night was the first time I had sex in over a year?” I sit back down next to her almost too embarrassed to continue. “Did you know you can have an orgasm just by a man going down on you? I didn’t because Dave never went down on me. Dave never gave me an orgasm.”

“Holy shit, never? At least you’ve given yourself one,” Ella says. I just shake my head at her.

“Wait a minute. Last night was the first time you’ve ever had an orgasm.” Ella’s mouth was agape in disbelief.

“Yes, I’m starting to realize Dave didn’t care about me at all. In the past twenty-four hours, I have laughed until I cried, several times. I have had sex with Andrew several times. I have had multiple orgasms, in one session mind you,” I blush as Ella’s eyes got big. I continue hoping to calm both of our fears. “I’m taking this one day at a time. I don’t know what’s going to happen, so I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts.”

“Okay, I get it. I just don’t want you to get hurt again. I’m worried about you,” she says and after a pause, “multiple orgasms. Really?”

We laugh and the subject is closed. The rest of the day, we finish our school work and then watch a movie while consuming a large amount of chocolate and wine.

The next morning, as I’m dead asleep on Ella’s couch, I’m awakened by a loud relentless ringing in my left ear. Uggg. I need to change his text tone. That beeping is not going to cut it.

Andrew:
Good Morning Beautiful. How did the intervention go?

What time is it? I sit up on the couch and stretch.

Bailey:
She said her piece, I said mine. Case closed. Why are you up so early? Do you know what time it is?!

Andrew:
Some of us still have to work in the summer. Not everyone has the luxury of sleeping in. Did I fare well at the conclusion of the intervention?

Bailey:
Hey, there’s a college not too far from us where you can get your teaching degree if you want your summers off. You faired very well.

Andrew:
No classroom for me. I’ll stick with my lab, thanks. Hey, I’m going to my lawyer’s after work today. Can I pick you up after that and take you out for real date? My mom has Emerson.

A real date? Hmmmm.

Bailey:
A real date? Does that mean I have to wear real clothes?

Andrew:
Clothing is optional. I’ll text you when I’m done. I’m not sure how long it will take.

Bailey:
I’ll be ready.

I go into the kitchen and pop a hot chocolate pod into the Keurig. I love staying over at Ella’s, because she keeps a supply of hot chocolate and whipped cream stocked just for me. I brew a cup of coffee for Ella when I hear her shuffling to the bathroom upstairs.

“Why in the Hell is your phone ringing at this ungodly hour?” she asks through half closed eyes.

“Andrew. I asked him the same question. Did you know that people actually work over the summer?” I laugh as I hand her a mug.

“Hhhhhhhhh,” she gasps. “The Horror! Why would anyone do that?” She jokes as she takes a sip of her coffee. “So, what do you have planned for today?”

“I’m going running. Wanna come?” I ask.

“Fat chance. I wasn’t talking about your crazy need to exercise. I was talking about your plans with Lover Boy.”

“He’s taking me on a real date tonight. Don’t roll your eyes at me. One day at a time.”

I got everything on my to-do list done. Running, grocery shopping, laundry, and scrubbing the bathroom all done before lunch time. I’m on a roll today. I decide to take a look at my wardrobe to find something hot to wear for my date tonight. My closet is quite depressing. I have a lot of khaki pants in varying shades of tan and brown, my suit that I wore in my interview ten years ago, one pair of black dress pants, a collection of polos and baby t-shirts, and one matronly dress that I wear for Meet the Teacher night. The only other dress I have was Ella’s and I wore it last night. There is nothing date-worthy in my closet.

I have to go shopping. I hate shopping
.
I think back to the last time I went to buy clothing.

“Dave, are you home? Come see what I got.” I yelled into the next room when I heard Dave close the front door.

“What did you get?” he answered with little interest.

“Sit, I’ll do a runway show for you,” I told him as I ran into the bathroom. He sat on the bed scrolling though his phone as I walked out in my first outfit. He barely glanced up and then said, “Those pants make you have a muffin top. You need a baggier shirt to hide that you know.”

I turned and looked in the mirror. I knew I had a few pounds to drop, but I didn’t think they were that bad. I debated trying the rest on for him. He looked like he was busy.

“Do you want to see more?” I asked.

“Whatever,” he mumbled.

I went in and tried on the dress that I got and quickly returned to the bedroom so Dave could see it before he went downstairs. His eyes were still glued to his phone. I stood there a minute waiting for him to look up at me. I was so excited to see his reaction. I saw this dress at the store and thought of Dave immediately. His favorite color was blue. He used to say blue brought my eyes to life.

When he still didn’t look up, “Dave?”

“What, Bailey? Can’t you see I’m playing a game?” he snapped at me.

“Sorry. I just wanted you to see this dress.” I hung my head and started to turn around. Maybe I’d show him later.

“A dress? Why in the hell did you buy a dress? Where are you going to wear that?” he asked as he stood and left the room.

I shake my head to forget the bad memory. One of many I wanted to put behind me.

I wonder where that dress is.

I pull up to Bailey’s house and there is a car I didn’t recognize in the drive way. The driver side door is just opening as I get out of my truck. I walk around the front of the truck and stop dead in my tracks.

“Andrew, I didn’t know you and Bailey kept in touch,” Dave says with phony interest.