My Sister’s Secret (17 page)

‘God, I’ve missed you,’ he murmured into her ear.

The storm lashed outside, the noise filling her ears, blocking her senses and thoughts of anything but the way Niall was making her feel when he touched her.

As he plunged into her, the storm seemed to reach its peak, roaring in her ears as she cried out.

When Charity woke the next morning, she watched Niall sleeping for a few moments. She’d never seen him sleep. He didn’t look peaceful. He seemed troubled, brow furrowed, breath deep and low. It was exactly how she imagined he would sleep, dreams in turmoil.

She looked down at his naked body, tanned and muscular. Had they really done what they had done? She ought to feel guilty, regretful. But instead, it felt
right
.

She shrugged the blanket they’d thrown over each other off and knelt up to look out of the window. The beach looked ravaged, rubbish and fallen trees strewn all over, water pooling on the path as sirens sounded in the distance. But it was calmer. Charity felt the same, a mixture of tender aching, but calm too.

She felt Niall’s hands slide up her body and grasp her breasts. Then he pulled her on top of him.

She looked into his eyes. ‘This is right, isn’t it?’

He frowned. ‘Why wouldn’t it be?’

She thought of her sister and how angry she’d be. ‘Hope.’

Niall sighed. ‘You can’t keep basing your actions on what your sister might think.’

‘But she’s all the family I have.’

‘And you’re all the family she has. She needs to give you a break. Look, I love you, Charity. Always have, simple as that. That’s all that matters. There’s been no one like you since.’

‘Like me?’ she said, sliding off him and leaning on her hand as she looked at him. ‘So there have been others?’

‘Are we doing the ex talk?’ he asked, smiling.

‘We certainly are. So?’

He laughed. ‘There have been others. But just casual, nothing special.’

‘Same for me. Well, there was Ashton the firefighter.’

Niall quirked an eyebrow. ‘You never said anything about a firefighter.’

‘It lasted six months. There are only so many jokes about climbing poles a woman can take.’

He wrapped his arms around her. ‘I don’t want you thinking about fireman poles right now. All I want you thinking about is me.’

‘That’s easy,’ she said, growing serious. ‘You’re all I’ve ever thought about for the past ten years.’

She’d just been thirteen when she’d started falling for him. But every relationship since – if you could call them that – had been dominated by thoughts and comparisons to Niall. Now he was here, right in front of her, in her bed…naked. She felt the thrill of that fact shimmer through her and she pressed her body against his. ‘You’re right.
This
is all that matters.’

As they sunk back down on to the bed together, Niall’s lips exploring her body, she got a brief flash of Faith’s beautiful face in her mind. She quickly buried it away.

Niall stayed after that. It was just the way it was. He had nowhere else to be, and she wanted him there, with her.

Her favourite times were at night when she got back from work to find Niall sitting at the small table, photos sprawled out over its surface as he got his portfolio together to send out to agencies. After dinner, she and Niall would curl up together, watching a film or just talking. It felt like they were teenagers again, when they used to huddle together at night in their cave, keeping each other warm and talking into the night about their future together. The only difference now was that they talked about the past, the
good
past, before Faith died. The future seemed to slip and slide out of Charity’s grasp when she tried to fathom it, and she could tell Niall felt the same. Their future together had been snatched away from them when they were teenagers, so they weren’t sure what to do with it now they had it back. Charity’s contract would run out in April, that’s all that was certain.

Over two months after their first night together, they celebrated their first Christmas together. Charity cooked them a turkey dinner and, as they said cheers, it almost felt like this was the way Christmas was meant to be, apart from the thoughts of Hope that niggled at the back of Charity’s mind. She’d sent her sister a card and a present – a small scarf she’d found in a local market with lines from famous poems scribbled all over it. She’d also included yet another letter, asking Hope for forgiveness, telling her how much she missed her. But she had received nothing back. When she tried to call Hope on Christmas morning, there was no answer. So she left a message on their ancient answering machine, asking her to at least call or write to let Charity know she was okay.

‘Let’s go out,’ Niall said as he watched Charity nibble at her nails, worrying about Hope.

‘Where?’

‘You’ll see.’

After a short drive, they reached a stretch of beach, a shipwreck visible in the distance. The wreck looked lonely on the vast beach that spread out around it.

‘It’s called the SS
Vina
,’ Niall explained as they walked towards it under bright blue skies. Charity zipped her coat up and dug her gloves out. It might be bright and beautiful, but it was cold too. ‘It was used as a naval vessel in the Second World War,’ Niall continued. ‘Then the RAF used it for target practice. We’re lucky, you can’t always walk to it if the tide is in.’

As they drew closer to the wreck, all of it came into view. There were three main parts to rusting ship, with other items scattered all around, including several pieces of long metal that jutted up from the water, reminding Charity of the submerged forest in India. The front of the wreck was the largest part, black, mossy and littered with sea snails. Most of the wreck was so overtaken with moss and sea snails that she could barely see it was a ship any more.

Niall pulled his camera out of his rucksack and started taking photos.

‘Oh, I see, you brought me here for selfish purposes,’ Charity said as she watched him.

Niall smiled. ‘No, I’ll show you why I brought you here.’ He took her hand and led her to a small archway that may have once been a door. ‘There are no caves around here. So I thought this would be the closest thing we’d get.’

He pulled a picnic blanket out of his bag and lay it on the wet sand. Then he got out some candles and matches, a small turquoise cushion and another blanket. Charity smiled. He was trying to recreate the cave hideaway they spent hours in during their teenage years. He sat down on the picnic blanket and patted the space next to him. ‘Come on.’

She sat beside him, teeth chattering from the freezing cold. He lay a blanket over their legs and she smiled.

‘What’s in there?’ she asked, pointing to the plastic box.

He opened it to reveal a small Christmas pudding. She laughed. ‘I love it.’

‘Happy Christmas.’

‘Happy Christmas to you.’

They kissed then looked out at the calm sea, eating Christmas pudding as they huddled together, the flames from the candle flickering in the dark archway.

Charity

Norfolk, UK

January 1988

Charity watched Niall preparing his diving equipment, a look of concentration on his face, his broad shoulders hunched as he examined his camera. Her eyes travelled over the nape of his neck and the dark bristles of his hair, and she had to stop herself marching out there and dragging him back into the hut to make love again. She smiled to herself. It was like she was a teenager again. She felt the same as she had in those heady days, carefree and happy.

She was about to get up and make some tea when Niall let out a yell of frustration and threw his camera against a nearby wall.

She ran outside, wrapping her cardigan around herself, picking up the pieces of his camera as Niall paced up and down in frustration. ‘Why did you do that?’

‘It’s busted.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yeah. I had a feeling this might happen, I’ve had it years. This is a fucking nightmare.’

‘Can’t you get another one?’

He laughed bitterly. ‘With what money? It’s run out, Charity. Haven’t you been wondering why I haven’t offered to contribute towards the rent?’

‘I didn’t realise your money situation was that bad,’ she said.

Niall sighed. ‘Well, it is. I was hoping I’d get an assignment from the portfolios I sent out, but nothing. Maybe people are starting to realise I’m no good.’

Charity put the camera pieces down and ran up to him, wrapping her arms around him. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. You’re talented, Niall.’

‘Nothing I can do about it now though, is there?’ he said, looking towards the broken camera.

‘I have a bit of money.’

He shook his head, face vehement. ‘No. Your contract’s up in April. You’ll need that to tide you over to your next job.’

‘Honestly, Niall, I don’t mind.’

‘But I do.’ He stepped away from her, looking out to sea. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll figure something out.’

Two weeks later, Niall came home with a brand new, very expensive-looking camera.

‘How’d you get this?’ she asked him.

‘Advance from a new assignment.’

‘That’s wonderful, Niall! What sort of assignment is it?’

‘I’m taking photos of submerged forests around the UK for some adverts.’

‘They must have really liked the photos you took in Busby and India.’

Niall nodded. ‘I’ll be heading up north to the Wirral next week to take some photos of the forest there. I’ll be able to give you some rent after.’

‘How long will you be gone for?’

‘Just a week.’ He smiled, leaning over to kiss her on the lips. ‘We better make the most of the days we have left.’

Over the next couple of months Niall visited different submerged forests around the UK’s coastline. He’d return and they would carry on as normal, but Charity noticed that he seemed preoccupied. When he returned from a visit to Dartmouth, he seemed in better spirits, grabbing her into a hug and twirling her around when she got back from work.

‘You seem happy,’ she said, laughing.

‘They’re going to exhibit my work!’

‘Who are?’

‘A gallery in King’s Lynn. I just got the call while you were at work. The owner heard about the work I do and he wants to dedicate an entire space to my photographs.’

‘That’s brilliant, Niall!’

‘I feel like things are really happening,’ Niall said, blue eyes sparking with excitement. ‘People are starting to take notice.’

‘And so they should.’

‘They’re even having a drinks reception.’ He quirked an eyebrow. ‘I might need to buy a suit…and a dress for you. I’m going to treat you to one with the money I’ve earned.’

She smiled. ‘I better make sure I’m not on call that night. When is it?’

‘Twenty-first of March.’ He closed his eyes. ‘Shit, Charity, I’m so sorry. The anniversary of Faith’s death. I’ll get it changed.’

‘No,’ Charity said, shaking her head. ‘I think it’s a good thing.’

‘You sure?’

She nodded. ‘I’m sure.’

The reflection of the flame in the window seemed to dance over King’s Lynn’s cobbled streets outside. Charity took Niall’s hand. They were standing in the small gallery surrounded by Niall’s photos, taking a few moments before people started arriving for his event to look at the candle Niall had lit for Faith.

They were quiet for a few moments and then Niall looked at Charity. ‘Do you ever wonder why Faith was walking on the road in the middle of the night?’

Charity continued staring at the flame. ‘Everyone did: my parents, the police. But we never found out. It’s in the past.’

‘She’d seemed different when I saw her a couple of weeks before. Preoccupied.’

‘She was busy with her studies.’

Niall frowned. ‘I don’t know, I think it was more than that.’

Charity sighed. ‘We’ll never know, will we? Why bring it up now, Niall?’

‘It’s something I always think about on the anniversary. Not just what happened but why Faith was there, on that road.’

‘Look, this is your night,’ Charity said, squeezing his hand. ‘Let’s not ruin it.’

‘You’re right.’ He reached into his pocket, pulling a box out. ‘I have something for you.’

She opened it to find a delicate necklace inside, their two initials entwined in a pendant, just like the etchings.

‘It’s beautiful, Niall,’ she said as he helped her put it on.

‘All ready?’ They turned to see the gallery owner, a short thin man with a bald head, smiling at them.

‘As ready as I’ll ever be,’ Niall said, taking a deep breath as he looked around him at the photos he’d taken from his recent visits to the UK’s submerged forests. Most of them were on land, eerie tree stumps spreading out over vast wastelands.

‘It looks amazing,’ Charity said, adjusting his tie. ‘Now just enjoy yourself.’

Thirty minutes later, the tiny gallery was filled with people drinking wine and admiring the photos. Niall had been dragged away to talk to a local journalist and Charity stayed by the candle, watching him with pride. It almost felt as though Faith was by her side. She imagined her dressed in a beautiful pale blue dress, long blonde hair down her back, watching proudly too. But then the mirage of Faith seemed to change before Charity’s eyes, hair dripping with rainwater, face bloody, a puddle around her bare feet.

Why
had
Faith been walking along the road alone that night?

Charity quickly drank some of her sparkling wine, willing the image away.

‘You okay?’ Niall asked, walking over to her.

‘Fine. How’s it going?’

His face lit up. ‘Four photographs sold.’

‘Already? Wow!’

‘Charity! Niall!’ a familiar voice exclaimed from nearby.

They both turned to see Lana North heading towards them, the hem of her sleek black dress swishing around her ankles. Dan was behind her, a glass of champagne in his hand, a small smile on his face. He was wearing light blue chinos and a casual white shirt, his handsome face was deeply tanned. His hair was a little longer, his blond fringe sweeping over the top of his green eyes.

Charity felt her stomach flip, remembering his green eyes burning into hers as he leant close to her on that boat.

She gripped Niall’s hand tighter as though it was an anchor. He stared at Dan, his neck flushing.

‘It’s so great to see you both,’ Lana said, leaning down to kiss Charity on the cheek. Charity smelt the strong scent of alcohol. ‘We were so excited when we read about Niall’s exhibition, we knew we had to come, didn’t we, Dan? Especially seeing as we bought Niall the camera that took all these exquisite photos.’

Charity looked at Niall, confused. ‘I don’t understand.’

Niall’s face flushed.

‘You didn’t tell Charity?’ Lana asked. ‘How strange.’

‘Why would he, darling?’ Dan said. He shook Niall’s hand then gave Charity a quick kiss on the cheek. ‘It was just a loan, wasn’t it, Niall? Most of it’s paid off now.’

Niall looked at Charity. ‘I was going to mention it. But it’s like Dan said, I’ve nearly paid it off.’

Charity stared at him, trying to control her emotions.

‘These are wonderful, Niall,’ Dan said, looking around him. ‘You really are a true talent.’

Niall smiled tightly. ‘Thank you, Dan. I wish we could stay and talk. But I hope you understand, there’s a bunch of people I need to talk to. Thanks for coming.’

‘Of course,’ Dan said as Lana looked disappointed. ‘Go mingle.’

‘Why didn’t you tell me you contacted Dan when you broke your camera?’ Charity asked as they walked away.

‘I was desperate, Charity,’ Niall said under his breath. ‘It was just a loan.’

‘That’s not the issue. It’s the fact you didn’t tell me.’

He sighed. ‘Look, I was embarrassed, alright? All my talk of Dan being bourgeois and I go running to him for help.’

‘There’s nothing wrong with that, Niall. You shouldn’t be ashamed. You know I’d never judge you.’

His face softened. ‘I know. I should have told you. I’m sorry.’

‘It’s fine,’ Charity said, stroking his cheek.

Niall peered towards Dan and Lana, grimacing. ‘I wish they hadn’t come, especially Lana. She’s clearly drunk.’

‘She’s not that bad. And isn’t it worth it? Without Dan’s help you wouldn’t have been able to take all those photos.’

His eyes remained on Lana, brow creased. ‘I guess.’

An elderly couple approached Niall and started asking him questions. Charity excused herself and went to get a drink.

‘Here, let me.’ She turned to see Dan standing beside her, bottle in hand. He smiled, looking her up and down. ‘I have to say, you look rather stunning tonight, Charity.’

Charity blushed. ‘Thank you. That’s quite a compliment coming from a man whose wife used to be a model.’

He looked down into his glass, frowning.

‘Is everything okay?’ Charity asked.

‘Lana’s still not great.’

‘I’m sorry. So she didn’t see any other counsellors after we spoke?’

‘A few. Same old story, she grows bored of them. She’s drinking a lot now too.’

‘I noticed.’

‘Sometimes I wonder…’ He sighed, shaking his head. ‘No, I’m being silly.’

‘Tell me.’

He looked at her, his green eyes sinking into hers. ‘Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I’d met someone like you instead of Lana.’

Charity looked at him in shock. ‘Dan…’

He stepped towards her, his handsome face pained. ‘That night on the boat. I think of it often, Charity. Don’t you?’

‘What night?’ They both turned to see Lana standing behind him, a look of horror on her face.

‘It was nothing, darling,’ Dan said quickly.

Lana ignored him, just stared at Charity. ‘Charity?’ she asked, her voice trembling.

Charity tried to find the words. She looked up at Dan quickly, then away.

Lana’s eyes filled with tears. ‘God, look at the two of you, you can’t keep your eyes off each other! Why am I surprised?’

She had raised her voice, and people around the room were glancing over. Charity’s eyes searched the crowd, trying to find Niall.

‘Oh well, I’m one to talk, aren’t I, Dan?’ Lana said, face hardening.

A fleeting look of panic crossed Dan’s face. He tried to steer Lana away. ‘Lana, darling, I think it’s time we left, don’t you?’

But Lana shrugged his arm off. ‘We might as well just tell her,’ Lana said. ‘Then it’ll
all
be out in the open.’

‘Tell me what?’ Charity asked. ‘I don’t understand.’

‘Niall and I slept together in India,’ Lana said, crossing her arms and shooting Charity a triumphant look.

Charity’s stomach plummeted as she looked at Lana. ‘What?’

Dan sighed. ‘Oh, Lana.’

‘You knew?’ Charity asked him.

‘Lana told me a few months ago.’

‘When did it happen?’ Charity asked, trying to keep the tremble from her voice.

‘Dan and I argued,’ Lana said, sounding bored. ‘I came to the hotel to find him. I’d pretended I’d left but I hadn’t. I didn’t expect him to go running to you. I ended up finding a very depressed and drunk Niall instead and one thing led to another…’ Her voice trailed off as she shrugged. ‘These things happen.’

Charity thought back to that night when she found him waiting outside her villa. Had he been with Lana just before that?

But what about her and Dan? Hadn’t they nearly kissed too?

What a mess.

Niall appeared from the crowds, a smile on his face when he noticed Charity. She looked at him, unable to comprehend what Lana had said. She shoved past Lana and went to him.

‘Is it true?’ she asked. ‘You and Lana in India. Is it true?’

He closed his eyes briefly. Then he reached for Charity’s hand, his face desperate. ‘I was drunk. Very drunk.’

‘I can’t believe this.’

‘You and I weren’t together then, Charity.’

‘But we’d shared those moments. Then you go and
sleep
with Lana?’

‘We argued, remember? I had a few drinks, I hardly remember it,’ Niall said. ‘I don’t care about all this, all I care about is you. Let’s just go back to our hotel and—’

‘And what? No, I need to be alone.’

She shrugged his hand off and strode from the gallery, jumping into her car. As she drove back to the hut, she tried to block out the thought of Niall with Lana. When she drew up outside the hut forty-five minutes later, she was shocked to see Hope sitting on the bench outside, a suitcase by her feet. Charity jumped out of her car and ran to her, grabbing her into a hug. ‘You don’t know how happy I am to see you right now.’

‘Clearly!’ Hope pulled away from her, looking Charity up and down. ‘Where have you just come from, a school prom?’

Charity looked down at her dress. ‘Just a party. What are you doing here?’

‘I said I’d contact you when I was ready, didn’t I? I didn’t expect to have to wait in the freezing cold for three hours though.’ She pulled her long purple suede coat around her small frame and shivered.

‘You’ve been here three hours? You should have called first!’

‘I didn’t know I was going to forgive you. I just woke this morning and realised I had.’

Charity couldn’t help but smile. ‘So I’m forgiven?’

‘You were a kid, foolish and in love. I just wish you’d told me you were in the car when it happened.’

Charity squeezed her sister’s hand. ‘I’m sorry. Truly.’