He ignored me and headed over to the nightstand. I knew he was going for his keys, so I quickly opened the drawer and took them out.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“Give me the keys,” he ordered.
“No. Not until you tell me where you're going.”
“I'm going to go get busy like you did.”
His words stung because I could feel the truth behind them. “How many times do I have to tell you that Shane and Iâ”
“Give me the fucking keys!” he yelled.
“No,” I pleaded. I put the keys deep in the pockets of my jeans. “I'm not going to let you do this to us. You have to . . .”
Jaylin's actions turned into raging anger. He pulled on my pocket and didn't stop until I dropped to the floor. He roughly dug into my pocket for the keys. Not wanting him to leave, I forced his hands away. My nails scratched his hand and that's when he caused my head to hit the floor. He lifted me by the collar of my torn shirt. His strength was too much for me to bear and I dangled in his hands like a rag doll.
“You want me to hurt you, don't you?” he yelled.
“I don't want you to go,” I cried. “Hurt me or do whatever it is you want to do to let out your frustrations, but don't leave this house under these conditions.”
Jaylin threw me back on the bed. He went for the keys in my pocket again and I wiped the sweat from his forehead. Attempting to calm him down, I rubbed my fingers through his curly wet hair and touched the side of his face. “I've never asked for your forgiveness, but I'm asking for it now. Do not leave me and your children like this. We need you Jaylin. From now on, I will be honest with you about everything. I promise.”
Just for a moment, I had his attention. He held the keys in his hands and looked down at me on the bed. “Did you enjoy yourself with Shane? Since you're being honest, now, I'd like to know.”
“No, I didn't,” I whispered.
“Then, why don't I believe you? The evidence on the sheets showed that somebody did. Was it his juices, yours or both?”
“I . . . I don't know what was on . . . .”
He yanked my collar and shook me. “You don't know? You mean to tell me that you don't know if you came or not? Were you wet . . . Did he wet you? How long were the two of you forced to do it?”
“Baby, please stop hurting me. I don't want to discuss this with you being unstable like this.”
“Answer my fucking questions, Nokea! I want to know and I want to know now!”
His face was right there with mine. Our eyes were locked together, and the man I loved more than anything in the world was severely crushed. I couldn't stand to frustrate him more, and my dishonesty was more than I could muster. “It was a different feeling, Jaylin. I can't explain how or why I was wet, but I was. Before Shane took action against that man, we had been at it for ten or fifteen minutes. I never came and I doubt that Shane did either. If he did, I'm sure it wasn't inside of me.”
Jaylin let loose of my collar and shoved me back on the bed. Not saying another word, he headed for the door.
“You do whatever it is that you have to do,” I said. “But, remember, that I still love you. I hope my love counts for something.”
He stopped, but didn't turn around. “Your love doesn't account for a damn thing, Nokea. Soon, I will be back to get my kids.”
I closed my eyes. When I heard the front door close, I turned on my stomach and seriously broke down.
Chapter 9
Shane
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Frick and I had wrapped up my statement at the police station and I was on my way back home. I wasn't sure if Scorpio was there or not, but I felt the need to tell her the truth. I hoped she'd understand why I couldn't be honest until now, but I really wasn't sure. Her personality said she would, but then, since Nokea was “the other woman,” I wasn't sure how Scorpio would feel.
Nearly a mile away from my house, my cell phone rang and Jaylin's home number flashed. I wasn't sure if it was him or Nokea, so I picked up to see who it was.
“Shane,” Nokea softly said.
“Don't tell me. Please don't tell me things didn't go well.”
“They didn't. Jaylin knows what happened and he's gone. He wouldn't even listen to me. I tried to tell him . . .”
Nokea's voice sounded pitiful and I couldn't bear to listen to her. “Nokea, don't be so hard on yourself. Jaylin just needs time to cool off. You and he will work things out. All you can do is give him time.”
“Not this time Shane. You didn't see the look in his eyes. He's upset with me and he will never forgive me. He's going to be with someone else, I can feel it.”
“That's not going to solve anything, but, uh, just hang tight. I'm sorry that I had to ask you to do that for me, but I had no choice.”
“I know, but we should have been honest from the beginning. I don't know if it would have made the difference, and even though Jaylin seems to think that it would, he's more upset about us being together.”
“But, we were forced into that situation. What else were we supposed to do? Did you tell him that?”
“Yes, I did. But, he wanted to know more. He asked if I enjoyed it, if I came and the length of our encounter.”
Shocked, I pulled the car over. “And you told him? Nokea, please don't tell me that you told him . . . .”
“I told him that it was a different feeling, and even though I was . . . moist, I didn't come. I couldn't lie to him anymore Shane. No matter what I said, he knew how I felt.”
“What about our conversation in the car? Did you mentionâ”
“No, I didn't. But, please don't ask me to lie anymore. I was honest with the detectives and I still have to finish my discussion with them. I might have to take a lie detector test. I will do whatever it takes to clear your name.”
“I might have to take one too, but Frick said I really don't have much to worry about. I appreciate you Nokea. I will do anything that you need me to do. Jaylin just needs time and you and I will have to allow him that. I want to explain my side of the story to him too, but right about now, he wouldn't listen to anything I have to say. I'm sure he's going to call me. All I can do is wait to hear from him.”
Nokea was quiet. I could tell something else was on her mind. “Have you talked to Scorpio yet?” she asked.
“Not yet, but I'm on my way home. I plan to tell her what happened, but I'm not going to get into too much detail.”
“Do . . . do you think Jaylin is on his way there?”
“I'm not sure. That thought hasn't even crossed my mind, but if and when I hear from him, I will let you know. You do the same, all right?”
“Sure,” she said.
I told her to hang on to the love they have for one another and gave her a little hope that things would work out. Truthfully, I wasn't sure how things would pan out, but I hoped everything would get back to normal soon.
Once I ended my call with Nokea, I drove home and saw Scorpio's car in my driveway. I was anxious to see her, but I dreaded going inside and telling her the truth. I sat in my car for a while before I gathered up enough nerve to go inside.
When I opened the door, I could smell something cooking. I heard Mary J. Blige on the radio singing her tunes. Scorpio was singing right along with her. I went into the kitchen and saw her standing by the sink. She had tight blue jeans on and an apron covering her pink half shirt. The water was running and it looked like she was cutting up some vegetables. She didn't hear me come in, so I snuck up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist. She jumped, but smiled when she saw it was me.
“What are you cooking?” I asked while nibbling at her earlobe.
She turned around and put a sliced carrot into my mouth. “Take a guess,” she said.
“Uh, I can tell you're making some . . . slaw? But, I have no idea what's in the oven.”
“Good,” she said, and then reached for the radio to turn down the music. “Then, I'll surprise you. How did your meeting go with Frick? I called you several times, but didn't get an answer.”
“I left my phone in the car because I didn't want it to go off while I talked to the police. Frick said I should know something soon, so hopefully, I will.”
“So did you tell the police everything that happened? The officer who you hurt . . .”
I stepped away from Scorpio and went to the fridge to get bottled water. “The man who pulled us over wasn't a police officer. He was a convicted felon who was wanted for several other crimes.”
“Well, that's good news. Maybe you did the police a favor.”
“I'd like to see it that way, but I won't know how things turn out for a few more days.”
“I'm sure they'll turn out fine. To me, it sounds like that man was out of line and you did whatever you had to do.”
I sipped from the bottled water with all kinds of thoughts in my head.
Should I tell her, or shouldn't I?
Scorpio continued to shred the veggies for the slaw and I interrupted her.
“Say, baby,” I said, while standing by the kitchen's door. “How much longer will it be before dinner is ready?”
“About another hour or so. Why?”
“Because I want to show you something in my room.”
She smiled. “Uh, you can show that to me later. Right now, I'm trying to cook you a scrumptious dinner.”
“I wasn't talking about sex. Seriously, I want to show you something.”
Scorpio removed the apron from around her and lay it on the table. She followed me down the hallway to my bedroom.
“Sit on the bed,” I asked and kneeled down in front of her. I held her hands together with mine. “The other day, I was on my way to Jay's so I could propose to you. I would love for you to be my wife. The only reason I have not asked for you to marry me is because I need to be honest with you about something. I haven't been completely honest with you about why I went to jail.”
“Shane, I hope you didn't do anything . . . .”
“Don't worry. The only reason I went after that man was because he disrespected me. I told you that Nokea and I slept in different rooms, but we didn't. She slept on the bed and I slept in a chair.”
“So, what's the big deal? There was no reason for you to lie about something so tedious.”
“I know, but I thought you'd be mad. I didn't want to complicate things between us, but, uh, Nokea and me were asleep, and were interrupted by the man who pretended to be an officer. I opened the door and he pulled a gun on me. To make a long story short, baby, he, uh forced me on the bed with Nokea and threatened to kill us if we didn't do what he wanted us to.”
Scorpio stared into my eyes and eased her hands away from mine. “Are you telling meâwhat did he want the two of you to do?”
“He . . . he wanted to watch us have sex. I tried to get at him, but I didn't want Nokea or me to get hurt. When the time was right, that's when I made a move and shot him. Afterward, Nokea and I left and that's why I was arrested.”
The look in Scorpio's eyes was killing me. She did not blink once and she placed her hand on her forehead like she was thinking about something. “I can't believe what you're saying to me Shane. This is just too, too much, and even though he forced the two of you to do it, did you?”
“Baby, if we hadn't, we wouldn't be alive. We had to. I know you're not happy about it, but think about what could have happened to us. If you were in that situation, you would have done the same thing.”
Scorpio took a deep breath and dropped back on the bed. She looked up at the ceiling and I eased on the bed next to her. “What are you thinking?” I asked. “I . . . I regret what happened and I'm trying like hell to erase the thoughts of that day from my memory. Will you . . . Can you forgive me for not being honest about what happened? It would mean so much to me and Iâ”
She put her hand up to my face. “Shane, save it. I want to forgive you and I'm sorry that you and Nokea were put into such a life threatening situation.” She turned her head and looked at me. A tear rolled from the corner of her eye. “What I'm having a hard time with is you being inside of another woman during our relationship. First, it was Jaylin's ex, Felicia, who forced herself on you. You still don't know if she's pregnant by you. Now, Nokea. Every time this happens, you come up with excuses about why you lied to me. Your encounter with Felicia was hard enough to accept, but this thing with Nokea, you already know how I feel about her. Yet again, she has managed to get a piece of another man I love. I can't sit here and pretend as if this does not have an effect on me.”
Scorpio sat up, wiping the falling tears from her eyes. I tried my best to comfort her, but she moved away from me and stood up.
“I know how you feel about Nokea and I assure you that there's nothing for you to worry about. She and I are confused by this too. We knew that our news wasn't going to be easily accepted.”
“Well, you both guessed right,” she said. “This is not acceptable. After something like this, I don't know how we move forward.”
I hurried off my bed and opened my drawer. I pulled out her ring. When I opened the burgundy suede box, her five karat diamond ring flashed at her. I got on one knee and took her hand.
“We move forward by putting this behind us. Trust me, I had no control over the situation, and if I did, it never would have happened. You know how much I love you. For the rest of my life, I want to show you how much I do. I know my timing might not be the best, but I need you now and I want your love forever. Will you accept my proposal and marry me?”
Scorpio continued to look down at me and more tears fell from her eyes. When I tried to place the ring on her finger, she pulled her hand back. “I have wanted this for so, so long. I love you too, Shane, but . . . but under the circumstances, I can . . . cannot accept your ring.” She took a hard swallow and broke down on me. I tried to soothe her pain, but she broke away from my embrace and left the room. I followed behind her and watched as she gathered her purse, coat and keys to leave.
“It doesn't have to be like this,” I said. “I know you're hurting, but I'm hurting too. You know how much I want this and if a little time is what you need, just ask for it. However, do not end this with me. We've been through too much . . .”
Scorpio opened the front door and left me standing there conversing with myself. Once she drove off, I closed the door and hit the back of my head against the door.
“Damn, damn, damn,” was all I could say.