Never Let Go (Take My Hand) (25 page)

When they reached the front of the church, I stood up
and picked the girls up in my arms so Bryan could lower Snickers down into her
chair. Emily joined me and we took a twin each to sit on our laps throughout
the service. I heard Emily sniffle beside me several times and I wondered if,
like me, she was thinking back to our own wedding day.

That was the proudest day of my life. Nothing else
– not getting and staying clean, not forgiving myself for my mistakes,
not making a clean break in the UK, not even getting my first Harley (I know,
right? I fucking
love
her - she’s
called Bethy)….
nothing
compares to
how I felt that day. When Emily walked towards me, linking her father’s arm,
dressed in the purest white dress that trailed a good couple of feet behind
her, my heart expanded so quickly it got lodged in my throat. I’ll never forget
the way her red curls spilled in bouncy curls over her shoulders, or how her
baby-blue eyes glistened with tears as she said ‘I will’.

There are no words to describe how happy this woman
makes me. She gives me everything I never thought I deserved and so much more
besides. She is my rock, my lover, my biggest supporter and my best friend. I
love her so much my heart swells in my chest every time I think of her, and a
day has yet to pass where I haven’t told her as much.

When the ceremony was over the entire church erupted
in applause – most likely down to the little show the newly married
couple put on. Of course for these two, a peck on lips wouldn’t suffice when
Jared was told he could kiss his bride. No, he practically ate the chick alive
for us all to see.

Probably because we don’t drink, Emily and I ended up
temporary guardians of Ana and Ava at the reception party. I took all three of
my girls to dance several times, spinning them round in my arms one at a time.

“More, Dek, more.”

“Gen, Dek, gen.”

Picking Ava and Ana up in my arms I danced around with
them until I felt dizzy. I caught Emily watching me and she looked at me with
the most beautiful, warm smile. Most of the time Snickers and Jared were in
their own little world in the middle of the dancefloor. Every so often Jared
would stop twirling her around in her chair so they could accept the
congratulations and kisses coming from their friends and family.

It didn’t take long for the pair of them to get
wasted. It’s a rare treat for them these days, even though Jared has finally
found a medication that not only controls his epilepsy but also allows him to
drink alcohol. That’s what being a parent does to you I guess. It zaps your
social life faster than a contagious disease.

“Being married is furrckiiing awesome!” Jared slurred,
aiming to pat me on the shoulder but missing and almost landing on his face.
“C-champaaaaagne?”

“Um, no thanks, man,” I said, laughing him off.

“Oh yeah. Addict. Gotcha,” he whispered like he was in
on a big secret, tapping the side of his nose.

Now’s probably a good time to tell you that I’ve been
clean for twenty-nine months and three weeks. I still see my therapist once a
month and I think I always will. It’s a reminder almost. Being there reminds me
of where I’ve been and what I almost lost. Amazingly, sometimes the itch still
comes… the thoughts and the whispers in my head. But they’ll never be strong
enough to drag me back to that hellhole. I’ve too much to live for now.

“Dude, you better have a couple of coffees if you want
to stand a chance of consummating your marriage tonight,” I teased.

“Nah,” he disagreed, waving my comment off with his
hand. “Alcohol only fuels the machine.”

Laughing at him, I patted him on the back and told him
to go and dance – or stumble – with his bride.

When the party was in full swing I got a text from
Marianna sending her congratulations to my friends. I’m so close to my little
sister now, it’s like we’ve known each other our entire lives. We’ve been over
to the States several times to visit, and she comes here just as often with her
mom. Last summer, she came and stayed a whole six weeks by herself and I loved
and appreciated every minute of it.

She’s almost sixteen now and is planning a huge party
to celebrate. Since they moved out of Ohio she has been free to make new
friends, and although she hasn’t mentioned it to me, she told Emily that she
has a boyfriend. I’m guessing her silence around me is because she knows I’d
rip the fuckers’ balls off if he messed her around.

She hasn’t seen or heard from my dad since the day Patricia
left him and neither have I. Last we heard, he’s married to some rich surgeon,
living the life of luxury in California. Good luck to the twisted bastard. I
don’t have the time or energy to waste hating on him anymore.

“Hey, can I borrow these two princesses?” Caroline
asked, bending down to Ana and Ava.

“I dunno, Nanna,” I teased. “What do you think,
girls?” I asked, picking them both up at the same time. “Do you want to go with
Nanna or stay with your amazing uncle Dex?”

“Nanna Nanna!”

“Hey! I’ll remind you of that later when I’m dishing
out ice cream at our house!” I joked, raising them up so I could tickle their
bellies with my nose. “Kids are so fickle,” I said, smiling as I handed the
girls over to Snickers’ mom.

Making the most of having Emily to myself for the
first time today, I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her into me,
swaying us together in rhythm with the slow music.

“You’re so good with those girls,” Emily said, looking
up at me with a wistful expression.

“They’re great kids. I love them like they’re my own.”

“So, do you think
we
could do it? Have our own I mean. Do you think we’d make good parents.”

“Hell yes! Of course I do. I’ve seen you with those
girls too, doll. You’ll make an amazing mom.”

“Well that’s a good job I guess.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, pulling away slightly and
eyeing her up with a confused look.

“I took a test this morning. I’m pregnant, Dexter.”

My mouth dropped open so far I thought my jaw had
broken. My heart hammered against the walls of my chest and like a giant
freakin’ pussy, tears welled in the back of my eyes.

“You’re…
pregnant
?”
I asked, bewildered and gloriously fucking happy. She nodded nervously while
waiting for my reaction.

“YES!” I yelled, fist punching the air before scooping
her in my arms and spinning her around. Everyone paused and stared over at us.
Naturally, Emily blushed and told me to put her down. She didn’t like being the
centre of attention, but hell I wanted the whole freakin’ world to know the
good news. “I’M GONNA BE A DADDY!” I called out to the crowd. People clapped,
some gasped, and nearly everyone cheered. Emily was beaming red as I pulled her
close to me and planted a long, lingering kiss filled with every emotion my
body held in that moment.

“I love you so much, Emily Michaels,” I whispered into
her ear. “You have just made me the happiest man in the world. Again.”

This girl has changed my life. Fuck that, this girl
saved
my life. And now, together, we
have created a brand spanking new one.

“I love you, too,” she whispered through trembling
lips. “Daddy.”

The End

Next I need to give a special mention to all the
amazing bloggers out there. Without you guys I would never have reached where I
am today. Thank you for all your hard work, for reading, for pimping, and for
being all round amazing people. I feel privileged to have work with so many
amazing bloggers since I started this journey and I’m proud to have made some
very special friends along the way. The Book Enthusiast, Mia’s Point of View,
Reading Rainblog, The Book Trollop, Holly’s Hot Reads, Emthebookbabe’s
Bookblog, A Pair of Oakies, Your Next Book Boyfriend, Bookworm Betties… to name
but a few – thank you for your continued support. You guys rock my world!

I’d also like to acknowledge the girls at The Book
Enthusiast. Thank you for letting me join your team of awesomeness! Debra,
Paula, Cindy, Kelly, Erin and Tami… you girls are fabulous and I’m so happy to
be working with you! Debra, you get an extra thank you because you arrange all
my tours and promotional shizz, and so does Paula because she has quickly
become one of my very best friends in the whole world. I love you ladies BIG
time
J

Time to thank my cover designer now. Kari at Cover
to Cover designs, thank you for another beautiful cover which I am very proud
of! You are super talented and I can’t wait to get stuck into the next cover
with you.

Now for my readers. Seriously, you guys never cease
to amaze me. I am so grateful to every single one of you. Thank you to
everyone
who has read my books and
especially those who have taken the time to rate and/or review, or sent me a
message with their thoughts. Honestly, I will never be able to express how much
that means to me. You are amazing and I would be nowhere without you. If you’re
reading this then you have made it to the end of the Take My Hand series and I
can’t even begin to tell you how happy that makes me. Thank you for supporting
me, and for falling in love with Dexter and Emily, and Rachel and Jared.

Last but not least I need to thank my wonderful
family. Without such a supportive network I would never find the time to do
what I do. They encourage me, inspire me and help me out every single day and I
love each and every one of them.

Okay, so maybe that wasn’t the last one… I should
say if we’ve ever spoken, shared a comment on social media, been involved in
messages or had absolutely any other contact then I am grateful to you too!
Like I said I have met SO many amazing people – far too many for my
little brain to remember to list here, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think
you’re awesome. I have loved meeting new people and made some life long
friends. I am bound to have forgotten someone here and if I have, I’m sorry - I
still love you!

So, there you go. I’m all thanked out. Thank you
for reading!

So, I’m 5,9 with a figure to die for. I have legs that go on forever, a
perfect pair of round, plump boobs, blonde hair down to my waist, the most
striking blue eyes you’ve ever seen and I spend my days fighting off a constant
stream of male attention.

I also talk a lot of bullshit.

Okay, okay, time for the ‘real’ me. I live in Rochdale, England with my
husband, four children and Heinz 57 puppies Pippa and Gio. I’m a true home bird
and have never lived more than a street away from the family home where I grew
up – currently living smack bang in the middle of my parents and my
sister and her family.

I read as much as I write and am a self-confessed ‘book slut who is
proud to have a list of book boyfriends longer than my arm. When I’m not
reading and writing I can usually be found being the house’s resident slave
– cooking, cleaning, picking up after everyone… although if you ever
catch me doing a bucketful of ironing – call an ambulance. That means
something’s seriously wrong with me!

That’s about it really. I’m actually pretty boring. That’s why I write
– all the exciting stuff goes on in my head! Oh, and did I mention I’m
the world’s biggest Twilight fan? Well I am – so there ;-)

And that’s my life…

Oh… one more thing - if the kids ever ask, I moonlight as the Pink Power
Ranger while they’re sleeping :-)

Thanks for reading!

Other Titles
by Nicola Haken

Saving
Amy

Missing
Pieces

Take
My Hand

Hold
On Tight (Take My Hand #2)

Lean
On Me (Take My Hand #3)

Nicola
is currently working on her next book, Being Sawyer Knight – an m/m
romance due out in the summer, 2014.

Want
to keep up with the fabulous world of Nicola? You can do that here:

www.facebook.com/nicolahaken

Twitter
I.D. @NicolaHaken

www.nicolahaken.net

www.thebookenthusiast.net