Authors: MJ Fields
In the morning
, Tessa woke up, and Ben was in the kitchen cooking breakfast and listening to music. She went in the bathroom and brushed her teeth and washed her face. She ran up and grabbed him.
He laughed, “Good morning
, Tess.”
He turned around, and she kissed him, he grabbed the back of her head and kissed her back, he picked her up and sat her on the counter and lifted her shirt.
“Good morning girls,” he whispered.
She laughed. They heard someone coming down the stairs. She jumped down off the counter and grabbed plates form the cupboard.
Alex walked in and said, “Good morning.”
“Good morning,” they said at the same time and laughed.
Alex shook his head and grabbed a cup out of the cupboard.
Their fathers came out, and they all sat and ate breakfast.
“We’re going to leave in about an hour Ben, okay?” Frank asked his son.
Tessa looked at Ben as if she was in shock; he smiled at her.
“Sure thing Dad.”
They cleaned up the table, and she was quiet.
“I don’t think I want you to leave,” she said quietly.
“I have to Tess,” he
laughed.
“Ok, but I just want you to know I
don’t want you to,” she looked down.
He grabbed
her and hugged her, “Good, I’ll see you on Saturday remember?”
“Okay and then when w
ill I see you again?”
“I’
m sure it won’t be long,” he kissed her.
She helped him load the snowmobiles and watched him as he strapped them on his father’s trailer. He was so damn cute and funny and just
-- easy. It wasn’t work being with him, she wished she could keep him here with her forever because she knew when he was gone she would miss Lucas.
When Ben was done he jumped down and grabbed her.
“Tessa Ross, I’m going to miss looking at you,” his hand went down her back and settled on the small of her back.
Tessa wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed
him; he grabbed the back of her head and kissed her harder. He pulled his head away and kissed her nose.
“I’
m going to miss that,” she laughed.
Her father cleared his throat, and they looked. Their fathers were both standing there watching them and shaking their heads
disapprovingly.
“Oh
… to be young again,” Frank laughed.
She stood and watched him pull away and waved.
“Tessa, what’s going on with you and Ben?”
“I don’t know Daddy
… but I like him. I like him a lot,” she smiled.
“I’
m pretty sure he feels the same way, he’s a good kid Tessa, from a very good family,” John said, “Keep that in mind.”
Tessa was staying home from church today. She had a lot of homework and a week and four days until the play. She had a ton of laundry and cleaning to do since she blew off everything all weekend. She was busy getting everything done, and her phone chimed, it was him.
-Thanks for the show last night…LL
-
Lucas I’m sorry. I forgot you were working…Tessa
-You sure about that? Kind of sucks Tessa…
I want to see you…LL
-Is everything ok?...Tessa
-Nope…LL
-Okay then come over everyone’s at church…Tessa
Tessa jumped in the shower and got dressed, she brought out laundry and was folding it when he walked in.
“Come sit down,” she moved the laundry to give him a spot on the couch.
“Tessa, do you like Ben?”
“Yes.”
“Do you love him?”
“I think maybe I could someday,” she admitted.
Lucas sat back and shook his head, “Not what I wanted to hear.”
“We said we were going to be friends
Lucas.”
“And Friday night we showed each
other differently,” he looked at her with angry eyes.
Her eyes filled up, “I don’t know what you expect from me
Lucas? I don’t know anything anymore except it’s so hard with you. It hurts, “she touched her heart. “I don’t want it to hurt all the time.”
“I don’t want that for you either Tessa, I just don’t know what to do. I love you baby, and I don’
t know what to do,” he grabbed her and held her. Her body stiffened at his touch. “Oh I see,” Lucas started to get up.
“No
Lucas you don’t fucking see. You’re hurt because of what you are going through and while I feel awful about all of that, I’ve been trying to pick up the pieces of my life,” she started to cry. “I would love to think it would be any different a month from now, but it’s been almost seven months of hell Lucas. I am eighteen years old, and I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve never wanted to be in one! And not because everyone thinks I’m a psycho bitch like you make me feel! I watch my family fall apart and you come here, and I act like someone I don’t even know. I don’t even recognize myself anymore. I’ve never known pain before like this, ever. And I don’t want to!”
Tears formed in his eyes as he listened to her, “What have I done?”
“You fucking broke me--again!” She screamed and started to walk away.
He grab
bed her, “Tessa stop please, I’m so sorry,”
He held her tightly against him.
“You know what Lucas; I believe you don’t want to hurt me. But what happens when the next Sadi pops up? Or you decide you’re bored of me? ”
“I don’t know what you want me to say Tessa, I didn’t ask for any of this shit to happen,”
Lucas yelled at her and tears sprung to his eyes.
“You couldn’t be honest with
me when your mom relapsed, or when fucking Sadi blew you. Oh, but remember my stupid pathetic ass took you back even then. You dismissed me when I asked if you had gone to the doctor with her, and then you FUCKED her when you said you loved me! She gave you a BLOW job, you FUCKED her,” Tessa began to sob, “And I haven’t even begun to tell you how New Years felt to me, or the way you treated me when she lost the baby. I’ve been through hell, and you expect me to keep being this …this …no I’m sorry, I won’t do that to myself!”
“Fine, fine…this i
s just fucking perfect isn’t it? I guess you really loved me huh?” Lucas fought back tears as he grabbed his hair with both hands, “Fuck it… huh Tessa?”
Tessa looked up at him fighting her need to hug him and take back everything she knew to be true, “
Lucas, I’ll always love you. I’ll always wonder what could have been, but I need to take care of me. A week ago you were fine with that; you still have so much to deal with and so do I. We’re hurting each other. How could it possibly ever work when it’s been so hard?”
“Things in life that come easy Tessa mean n
othing, believe me,” he let go of her and he walked out of the room.
She heard the door slam
and she crumbled to the floor and sobbed.
Monday Tessa walked into school and saw
Lucas and looked down. She was in the locker room at lunch reading her English book and eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich alone.
“Well look at farm girl with all of her friends,” Sadi smirked as she walked in to the locker room.
Tessa stood up and grabbed her bag and walked towards the door, Sadi grabbed her hair from behind. Lucas walked by and saw what was happening.
“Sadi
, let go of her now!!!” he yelled as he walked in and pulled her away.
She had a handful of Tessa’s hair.
Tessa turned around and slapped her across the face.
“Get some fucking help
, you crazy bitch,” Tessa screamed.
“Tessa just go,”
Lucas yelled.
Tessa looked at him with disgust “I hate you,” she said as she walked away.
“I know,” he called to her from behind.
Tessa turned around and stormed back.
“Sadi I’m calling the cops and filing a restraining order. I will not let your sick twisted ass fucking touch me again, I don’t give a fuck what you’ve gone through, and you have brought it all on yourself. And you LUCAS are falling right into her poison and enabling the crazy BITCH!” Tessa turned and walked away.
“Stop her,” Sadi cried to
Lucas.
Lucas
grabbed Tessa’s arm.
“Don’t you touch me!
Don’t you ever touch me again! You make me sick; you just stuck up for that bitch again! Go to hell Lucas. And this time I won’t be joining you!” she screamed, and her eyes filled with tears as she ran out the school doors and jumped in the Jeep and drove home.
Maggie walked in the farm house
an hour later; Tessa was in her room crying.
“Tessa honey
, are you ok?” she said and hugged her. “The school called, and I was worried, are you alright?”
“I just do
n’t feel well Mom,” she rested her head on her lap.
“Okay but you should have gone t
o the nurse honey.”
She held her until she fell asleep
.
When she woke up her Mom was still holding her.
“What time is it?”
“It’s about five,” Maggie said softly.
Tessa jumped up “I have practice.”
“No honey you’re skipping tonight, I already talked to your drama coach, and he said it was fine, he just wants
you to get better.”
“I want to get
better too, Mom,” Tessa yawned and fell back to sleep.
~
The next morning Tessa was called to the office for the very first time in her life. She sat and waited outside the principal’s office. The door opened, and Lucas and Sadi walked out, he carried her bag and had his other arm wrapped around her.
“I hope you’re happy
, bitch,” Sadi yelled at Tessa.
“Enough Sadi,”
Lucas softly scolded her, and they walked out.
The principal gave Tessa detention for leaving school without permission the day before. Tessa accepted her consequence and went back to class. She ate in the library and went to detention after school. She avoided everyone. She was not proud of how she had reacted the day before with Sadi, she was not proud of many of her actions lately. She felt herself sinking into darkness and desperately wanted to get out. She went to practice at five and straight home to bed after.
Her phone chimed
-Hey hot stuff I can’t wait to see you on Saturday! …Ben
-Me either Ben, I miss your face…Tessa
-Miss yours too
, talk to you soon…. Ben
She fell asleep and was woken by Alex.
She jumped up, “There was an accident with four people, someone died Alex,” she cried, “and a baby boy Alex.”
“Okay Tessa
… it’s a dream you’ll be fine,” Alex hugged her.
Thursday morning she went to school, it was the same as every day. She was tired and didn’t pay any attention to what went on around her.
Her Phone Chimed
-No
Lucas today… will you PLEASE eat lunch with us?!?!?!...Jade
“So tell us about Ben
!?” Phoebe asked as soon as Tessa sat down...
“What would you like to
know?”
“Are you two together?” J
ade seemed annoyed.
“No Jade not officially, but I like him,
he makes me smile.”
“Wow Tessa that’s three this year already
… you think you might want to slow it down a bit?” Jade snide comment rubbed Tessa the wrong way.
“Hey Jade
, I’m still a virgin in case you wanted to know,” Tessa shot back at her.
“Well what else have you done Tessa? E
verything but, isn’t any less.”
“Well, let’s see:
I haven’t given or received oral, and no fingers have been inside me,” Tessa sat back back crossing her arms across her chest.
“Holy shit,
” Tommy covered his face, “Are we really going to have this conversation?”
“Sure,
do you need more Jade?”
Becca stood up her face was red, and she walked away.
Tessa smirked and Phoebe laughed
“So are you okay?”
“No Jade not really, but I’ll get there.”
After play practice
, she went home and slept. She woke up and sent a text
-Ben, I can’t wait to see you
… have been missing your face…Tessa
- Two day
s Tessa, can I bring you home after and stay and play a bit?...Ben
-I would love that, happy dance commencing now…Tessa
- wish I could see that happy dance…Ben