Authors: MJ Fields
Tessa
woke up and saw him sleeping and his fingers were wrapped around her hair.
“Shit” she said, as she hit her foot against the dash.
Lucas opened his eyes. He looked at her and quickly moved his hand.
“Sorry,
” his eyes widened searching for her reaction.
“Thanks for the ride. Y
ou should have woke me up when we got here,” Tessa started to open the door.
“Wait Tessa,” he said
, sitting up and grabbing her arm.
“What’s up
Lucas?”
“Please shut the door
, Tessa.”
“
Lucas, I’m tired and really don’t think…” Tessa started.
“Don’t
think Tessa; just sit,” he closed his eyes and pleaded, “Please.”
“Ok fine,”
she shut the door, he turned down the music.
“You’re freaking me out.”
She laughed “Really?”
“Yes Tessa. You just lost two important people in your life and your smoking pot and ac
ting reckless, that’s not you.”
“It is now.”
“No Tessa, you’re not thinking clearly, you’re not doing this right.”
“Then please
Lucas by all means, tell me how I should be dealing with this?” she rolled her eyes.
“Not by getting fucked up,” he said “You taught me that.”
“Well look at you now. You got through this, I will too. Are you still getting high Lucas? I could use a hook up,” she said sarcastically.
“That shits not funny coming from you Tessa,”
Lucas snapped and took a deep breath. “How would Toby feel?”
“You don’t get to do that
, Lucas!”
“I’
m sorry Tessa but if he loved you he wouldn’t want you to be doing this to yourself.”
“Okay I’
m done with this conversation,” she started opening the door, her eyes were on fire.
He locked the door. “You need to talk Tes
sa-- stop!”
“I don’t
want to talk,” she felt the tears starting. “Open the door Lucas!”
“No I won’t.”
“Is this because you’re pissed about Ben tonight?” Tessa asked trying to hurt him.
“Nope actually
, it isn’t,” Lucas answered. “It’s about you and your loss of both of them. God… I’m so sorry for everything you have gone through, baby.”
She sat back and looked out the window. “
Lucas-- you’ve done worse than I’m doing to get through pain. I don’t understand how you can sit back and judge me and my actions.”
“I’m not Tessa
, I just don’t want you to go through anymore,” Lucas said softly.
“You don’t get to say that to me
Lucas-- you don’t get to act like you give a shit! You go all super hero on my ass after what you did to me? Screw you Lucas. Open the fucking door now!” she started to cry. He didn’t open the door. “You’re not allowed to act like you care about me and my feelings! You don’t get to act like you know me! You don’t get to send flowers to a funeral that you attended, for what reason I still don’t know. You crush me over and over again and you think you can act concerned about me. I can’t believe you!” Tessa pulled up her legs and cried into her knees, “You brought me into a dark room, kissing me, blind folded, with two ex fucks who tried to kick my ass not once but twice and you get to act concerned? I don’t think so!”
“Tessa I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry,” he looked down.
She continued to cry, “I had a glimmer of hope that night
, that maybe you felt just a little bit as much for me as I did for you! Maybe that you didn’t want to be without me. Maybe we could’ve figured something out and you did that to me. I cannot begin to tell you how that felt Lucas. How it felt to know that you wanted to share me with those two… animals.”
He grabbed her hand. And she pulled it away.
“Tessa I would’ve never done it,” Lucas’ eyes began to tear.
“Why would you do that to me
? Why were they there? Why would you invite me if you knew they would be there? You know what, I don’t want to know,” she wiped her face. “I just want to be alone.”
“Tessa baby
… don’t,” he touched her hair.
“
Lucas, I’ll never trust you again. Maybe someday I can forgive you, but I will never trust you, ever.”
“You can
, Tessa,” Lucas spoke softly, “I would never….”
“
Lucas I miss Ann, Toby,” she said and cried, “and I miss you… maybe not you but what we were together. You’re an ass! I’m handling this best way I know how.”
“Tessa I’m sorry, and I’
m sorry about Jade and the people you need and why the fuck are you hiding in the library? You can’t do that anymore, ok!”
“Understand,
that right now, I need to.”
He reached ov
er the console and hugged her. He wanted to tell her what an idiot he was and how he did what he did to drive her away. He wanted her to be with someone like Toby and not a fuck up like him. She cried, and he kissed her head. He pulled back and rested his forehead on hers and looked in her eyes.
“I promised to always be your friend, you promised the same
, Tessa. Maybe we shouldn’t be hanging out in your hot tub for awhile but both of us are going to be okay. I’ll never do anything like that to you again.”
“Can’t blame it on the hot tub,” she said softly remembering when he had said that to her
, and they both smiled.
“You want me to walk you in?”
Lucas didn’t want to let go, but he had no other choice.
“No
, I can handle it. Thanks for the ride,” she went to open the door.
“Tessa wait,”
Lucas grabbed her hand, “I’m …well I just… Tessa if you like Ben, slow down okay?”
Tessa smiled, “I’
ll take that into consideration. How’s Sadi?”
Lucas
forced a smile, “I think she’s trying, I hope she is for our baby anyways,” he paused, “It doesn’t matter just take care of yourself okay? I want you to be happy Tessa, always.”
His phone chimed
-Lucas I think my water broke and I’m scared…Sadi
He read it, and Tessa looked down and saw it too.
“Lucas you need to go.” He sat frozen. “Lucas now!”
She grabbed his
phone and texted Sadi back.
-Call an ambul
ance and go to the hospital I’ll meet you there. You’re going to be fine…L
She dialed Tommy’s number
.
“Tommy you need to meet
Lucas at the hospital, Sadi’s water broke. OK, see you in twenty minutes,” she looked at him, and was pale.
She reached over him and unlocked the doors. She got out and opened his.
“Come on inside,” he followed her in and ran to the bathroom.
Tessa woke Alex. “I need to drive
Lucas’s car to the hospital. You need to bring me home, Sadi’s water just broke.”
Alex jumped up and threw on some clothes.
Tessa went down and grabbed a new toothbrush out of the cabinet and handed it to him, he had thrown up.
“Okay let’s go.”
He looked so frightened and she was so scared for him. She took his hand and walked him to the SUV. She opened the passenger side door, “Get in, Lucas.”
“You o
kay to drive?”
“Yep it’s been what six hours
Lucas.” Tessa shut his door.
“Tessa if her water broke, that means she is going to have the baby
... really soon, right?” Lucas asked, and his voice cracked.
Tessa had read a lot on this and knew it would be within twenty four hours. She also knew it was way too early.
“Lucas let’s just see when we get there. Would you please call your Mom?”
~
They pulled into the parking lot, and Tommy was there waiting. She jumped out and looked at Tommy. “This isn’t good. Please stay with him.”
Lucas
walked over, hugged Tessa, and kissed her head, “Thank you.”
“Skirt off
, Links. Sadi needs you to be strong. Your baby needs you to be strong,” her voice cracked and her eyes filled with tears.
Alex got out and threw the keys to Tessa. “I’m going to stay here.”
She hugged him. “Thank you, I love you Alex.”
Tessa got in the Jeep and left. She pulled over and grabbed her phone and went through it until she found Audrianna’s number. She called her and told her what was going on.
Audri thanked her and rolled over to wake Landon, “Lucas needs you. Sadi’s water broke.”
“Already?
” Landon asked rubbing his eyes. “That’s not good.” He got up and jumped in the shower.
Audrianna had called the airport, there was a flight int
o Ithaca leaving in an hour. Landon would be there in two hours and she planned to drive up when the girls were in school.
~
Lucas walked into the room, and Sadi was lying in a hospital bed. Her Mom was there holding her hand.
“
Lucas,” Sadi cried.
Lucas
walked over to her and held her hand, “I’m here.”
The doctor walked in and did an ultra sound. The placenta had torn away, and the baby no longer had a heart beat. Sadi would have to have surgery. If not
, she could deliver the baby and go through that pain without the reward at the end. The three of them cried, and Lucas climbed in the bed with Sadi and held her until the OR was ready. The nurse came in and gave her a sedative.
She fe
ll asleep crying and saying “I’m sorry.”
Lucas
walked out and looked at Tommy and Alex. “The baby isn’t alive; it probably has been gone for awhile. They have to operate, she’s asleep now,” he walked past them and into the bathroom.
Tommy and Alex looked
at each other and waited for Lucas. Lucas came out and walked past them and back into the room and watched Sadi sleep.
The OR team walked in to
take Sadi up. He rode the elevator up with her and sat with her mother in the waiting room. Lucas’s Mom joined them and held his hand.
His phone chimed
-Lucas, I’ll be there in an hour. I love you…Dad.
-there is nothing you can do Dad, don’t worry about it...
Lucas
-I can be there for you…Dad
Alex walked outside and called Tessa. She cried when he told her the news. He told her he would call her soon and hung up.
Tommy was texting Jade when he walked back
in. He looked up at Alex, “I can’t imagine what a mess he is going to be, Alex.”
“We can get h
im through this.”
The surgery was
over; they wheeled Sadi into a room. Lucas sat holding her hand until she woke up. She looked at him and cried; he hugged her and told her everything was going to be alright.
“I
deserved this, this is my fault, and you can leave now,” Sadi cried.
Landon walked into the room, and
Lucas stood up and hugged him. Lucas cried.
“I
’m sorry, Sadi,” Landon said looking over Lucas’s shoulder.
“No
, Landon. I am.”
The nurse walked in and gave her more medication, and she fell asleep.
Lucas called her counselor’s office and left a message. He didn’t leave the hospital. He waited until she was discharged and asked her mother if he could drive her home.
He helped her in the SUV, a
nd they drove quietly.
“Sadi,
are you going to be alright?”
“No
, I’m not!” she cried.
Lucas
held her hand, “Yes, you are.”
“How can you say that to me, after all that I have done to you? After I just lost our bab
y?” she said through tears, “I’m a horrible person Lucas, I deserved this.”
“I forgive you, now it’s time you fo
rgive yourself,” he said. “You’re going to be fine.”
“Well thank you
, I guess,” she said sarcastically.
They pulled into her driveway, and he turned off the vehicle and looked at her.
“Sadi we have been horrible for each other,” he laughed and looked at her. “We have our whole lives ahead of us. This sucks, it’s certainly not what I planned for over the past few months. But we should consider it a do-over. Make something good out of a horrible situation.”
She cried, “I don’t think I can.”
“Okay so if there is a heaven, our child is in it and watching us now. What would you want him to see?”
Her eyes changed
-- no longer sad, but angry, “That’s Tessa talking!”