Authors: MJ Fields
He rubbed her back and down to her butt.
“Wow, feisty are we?” Tessa smiled.
Ben said and smacked her butt, “Do you think you can keep up?”
“Speaking of, I haven’t gone running at the park in awhile. There is no snow on the ground downtown, you up for it?”
“I am.”
She put the breakfast casserole in the oven and set the timer.
“Let’s go then,” she
smiled.
They went
to the park and ran the stairs; he did the fifth time backwards. They ran around, and they talked the whole time about music, family, and the schools he was looking at. He asked her questions about what she wanted to do after school.
She w
as slowing down, and he laughed and bent down, “Jump on, Tess.”
“I’m fine,” she
laughed.
“Nope
-- I want to get there, and I want you on me, so jump on girl.”
He took the road back to the school and jogged the whole way.
“What are we going to do now?”
“Take a
shower,” she smiled
“Nice,” Ben
laughed.
“You are so much fun Ben, does it ever stop
?” she asked thinking out loud.
“Do you want it t
o?”
“No
, I just wonder how you are when you’re relaxed,” Tessa giggled.
“Relaxed?
I was real relaxed last night.”
She laughed.
They walked into the house, she grabbed two glasses of water and handed him one. She drank hers and took the casserole out.
“I’
m going to shower while this cools.”
“
Where is your dad?”
“I really don’t know why?”
“Shower sounds good.”
She kissed
him “Alright let’s go.”
She walked in the bathroom and grabbed some towels. She turned around, and he took his shirt off.
“As tempting as all that is,” she pointed to him, “There’s a shower in my Dads room, you should go use it.”
He laughed as she pushed him out the door and locked it.
She took a long shower and shaved her legs. She was having a great time with him but really wanted to know how Lucas was. How could she feel that way when she was with Ben? She liked him a lot, but she didn’t want to hurt him or Lucas. She let Lucas go, and she was going to make herself feel the same way for Ben. She knew it was going to be hard and she realized at that moment why,
because he doesn’t need me in order to be alright
.
She got out and walked upstairs in her robe. She walked in her room and put on an under armor shirt, and a
cardigan sweater and leggings. They were going riding later, so she might as well prepare for it now.
She walked out and went downstairs, he was in faded jeans and a thermal shirt that fit him faultlessly. He was putting food on a plate for both of them and had already poured milk.
“Sit by me?” he pulled out a chair for her.
“Do you have any questions for me about y
esterday, about Toby?”
“Do you wa
nt to talk about it?” Ben looked at her and sat back.
“Well
, I just figured you might have questions.”
“Tess
if it’s going to upset you, then I don’t need to know. You told me last night that you loved him, and he died. Two weeks ago today, right?”
“Yep. D
on’t you want to know how I could be all over you so soon?”
“Sure,
tell me.”
Tessa looked at Ben and then looked down,
“Well, I don’t know either.”
“Ok so let me tell you what I
think. I think you were lonely. I think you needed someone to pull you out of the funk. I’m pretty sure it was a fluke that I was playing up in Syracuse that night. I think we’re attracted to each other, and it’s comfortable because we’ve known each other for awhile, even if you didn’t remember me at first,” Ben smiled and took her hand. “I also think that you are wildly curious about the ways your body has responded to things lately. I think all of those feelings combined are completely confusing to you, and that’s why I promise you Tessa Ross, I will not push you until you are ready. Does that sound about right?”
She just star
ed at him. He was a good guy. She was playing with him. She looked guilty and sad all at once.
“Tessa?”
“Well I guess...I just don’t know why that’s alright with you?” Tessa looked down she couldn’t bear to look at him.
“I’
m in no hurry. I have but one expectation. I don’t share, give me your focus okay?” he grabbed her hands. “I’ll give you mine. If it ends then I don’t want resentments, I want us to stay friends.”
“How exactly does that work, the friends afterwards?” Tessa asked. “I mean,
how you end something on a good note?”
“You don’t share Tessa, that’s when you hurt each other. And I don’t go back, when it ends it ends. I don’t believe in one person destined to be with me, like fate. I believe you find someone you enjoy and yo
u give each other respect. If you decide its together forever, and you commit to working at it, it’ll all work out,” he smiled at her.
“Okay
… so why do I still miss him, both of them when I am sitting here with you? I mean you are absolutely amazing. I’m sorry…God-- I want to be honest with you Ben. I’m sorry.”
“Hey girl, are we married or are we having fun? I mean we are
n’t exclusive right?”
“Well what do you mean
by you don’t share?”
“I don’t kno
w how to explain it, Tess. We just aren’t there yet. If you want to date other people we can do that I guess.”
“No!”
“Alright then. Our timing kind of sucks, it’s been hard for you, and I’m sorry, Tess I really am. Maybe I’m a dick for even trying this now. I don’t know,” he said. "I don't normally sway from my rules,” he laughed. “But when you’re really ready I think we’ll both know.”
“This is just not fa
ir, to you, to me,” she started tearing up.
“Oh no
, you don’t” he bent down and lifted her shirt and looked up at her and smiled, her eyes widened, and he blew on her belly. “No sad Tess” she smiled at him, “Much better.” He hugged her.
“You are a true gift Ben.”
“Let’s eat; we have a very busy day ahead of us,” Ben fed her and kissed her between bites.
When they finished Ben helped her do the dishes, “Let’s go see if the Dads are out there.”
~
They rode all afternoon, Tessa was always in the back, and Ben was in the front being a hot shot. He would turn around and do circles around her. They stopped for
lunch at the diner in town. They talked like best friends and he focused completely on her and making her smile.
At around seven
, they stopped at the farm and changed their socks and gloves. Tessa looked tired, “You’re riding with me.”
“Whatev
er, maniac,” Tessa laughed.
“What if I agree to slow it
down?”
“Well
, then I might consider it,” Tessa smiled back.
“Okay then
-- let’s go,” Ben said. “You guys ready?”
They laughed, “W
e’re done for the night.”
“You don’t mind if Tess
and I go out do you?”
“No
, just slow it down so she can keep up,” John warned him.
“I will, she’
s going to ride with me,” John looked nervous, “I promise she’ll be safe with me.”
“Tessa if he gets
crazy, you drive.”
“I will Dad.”
He started out slow and frequently asked if she was ok. Each time she said yes he went a little faster. They pulled into the Spot, and he took her helmet off for her. Tessa looked at the clock it was nine o’clock, two hours since they stopped at her house and she couldn’t believe how quickly time was going. They walked in, and Tessa’s aunt brought out menus.
“You guys hungry?
” Josie asked.
“I’
m fine,” Tessa said.
“Yes we are, can we
sit out by the band?”
Ben ordered Chicken and biscuits, they would share. The band sa
ng country music, and he chuckled. “You like this?”
“I do,” she
laughed.
“Alr
ight then cowgirl,” he grabbed her hand, “let’s take these clothes off and dance.”
He unzipped her jacket and hung it on the back of her chair, he unzipped her bibs, and they got stuck. He laughed. He worked at it for a few minutes and finally got them. She took them off
and hung them on the back. Ben already had his off.
Note to self: buy new bibs
.
They danced, he spun her around and dipped her and they laughed the whole time. A slow song was next, and Ben grinned and pulled her close.
Ben kissed her.
It’s your love
by Faith Hill and Tim McGraw played, they sang to each other and giggled.
Dinner was at their table, and Ben pulled the chair out for her. He pulled his tightly against hers, and she watched him eat, he insisted she eat some. They talked and laughed and danced one more time.
“We ready to head back?” Ben whispered.
She
shook her head yes. She was putting her bibs on when she saw Lucas walk by, quickly look at her, and then look away.
How could she have forgotten he was working tonight
?
Ben looked at he
r face as he held her jacket up. “What’s wrong, Tess?”
“I forgot it was
Lucas’s night to work here, he must think I am such a bitch.”
“Well then he doesn’t know you as well
as you think he does.”
He threw money and the bill on the bar, “Let’s bounce girl.”
They walked outside; he put her helmet on and then his.
He started the sled and yelled “Hang on tight.”
She held him tightly and he slowed down, she loosened her grip, and he went faster.
He came to a stop and lifted his shield. “You alright?”
She shook her head yes.
“Catch on Tess, you loosen your
grip and I’m going to fly, hang on tight and we’ll both feel much better,” Ben winked at her, and she laughed.
They got home, and she went to the bathroom. She came out, and he was on the couch.
“Sit Tess. So you feel bad when you feel like you’ve disappointed someone right?” she looked at him confused. “Ok I’ll slow it down, you felt guilty about having a good time tonight as soon as you saw him. That sucks Tess, is his happiness more important than yours and if so why do you think that little of yourself?”
“I don’t know ho
w to answer that Ben.”
“Why is it your responsibility to make him ok? Do you think for the rest of your life you can be that person for him and still be you Tess? What happens when you get married and have kids, and you’ve got to take care of
his needs instead of your own? Who is going to take care of you so that you can be the best you can for your kids? You don’t have to answer… just think about it,”
He pulled her between his legs and hugged her. He gently pushed her forward and rubbed her back. She took a deep breath and relaxed. He finished rubbing every inch of her back, not missing a single spot and pulled her into him. She turne
d her head and looked up at him. She kissed him and turned around and sat on his lap. He opened his mouth to her, and they kissed softly, gently. He lightly rubbed her belly, and she put her hand on his chest and lowered it to his waist and rubbed her pinky just under his waist band. He breathed deeply and took her hands and put them above her head as he moved forward so that she lay on the couch hands high above her head. Ben took his other hand and lightly and slowly let his finger tips move across her breast, and they immediately responded. She gasped, his fingers floated lightly across her belly and then just under her waist band, her hips moved and he put his hand lower, and she moaned and her breath became deeper. He lifted her up, so she sat on his lap again; she moved her hips slowly into him. He went under her shirt again, and her breaths became shallow.
Oh wow,
she thought. He rubbed her back and her backside. She sat up and looked at him.
She kissed his neck and down to his chest and she started to unbutton him, and he pulled her up.
“Not yet, Tess.”
“I
want to Ben, please?”
“I’
m going to insist that happens after we, well you know,” Ben smiled.
“Why?”
“As nice as that’s going to be, I want to wait till after, ok?” Ben said. “How are you feeling?” She blushed and put her head on his shoulder. “That’s what I thought.”