Nic's Devotion: An Endless Series: Book One (45 page)

     Carrie raised her head and looked at me in incredulity.
“Nic, I don’t want you to do that. You love lacrosse, and you are so good at
it. I would feel terrible if you lost it because of me.” She raised both her
hands to my face. “We’ll figure it out, okay. I don’t want to be pessimistic
anymore, let’s just wait and see what happens and we will take it day by day.”
She leaned forward pressing her entire body into mine hugging me. “Maybe it
won’t be so bad.” She whispered.

     I enfolded her in my arms and prayed for her words to
be true. I also prayed that she didn’t find out about my father basically
disowning me, because she would not take it well. I could give a flying fuck
myself. It wasn’t like the family dynamics was going to undergo any great
adjustment, and I still had my trust fund. So the hell with them. 

Chapter Thirty-nine

CARRIE

     It was Monday and my first day back to classes and
work. The classes had gone okay. I’d arrived early for both classes to talk to
my professor’s. They’d been apprised of my situation and neither one looked at
me differently, welcoming me to class with pleasant smiles which I thought was
nice of them since I had probably inconvenienced them somewhat. Each of my
classes consisted of about fifty students and besides a few curious looks from
the people I typically sat next to who had maybe noted my month long
nonattendance no one seemed to pay me any undue attention.

     It was a relatively smooth return after four weeks of
absence.

     I walked into the Sports store to find John manning the
counter. I’d talked to him last night about returning to work and he said he
was pleased to finally have me back. He wouldn’t hear any apologies saying that
all my shifts had been covered by exemplary individuals who knew their sports
so it had worked out great.

     “Hi John.” I greeted him with a cautious repentant
smile. If he wouldn’t let me apologize verbally I could at least show it. 

     He gave me a huge smile and came around the desk to
give me a quick hug. “Carrie, it’s great to have you back. It was fun having
the guys cover your shifts but they just aren’t as pretty as you; although, our
business did pick up from all the females coming in to see them.”

     This was surprising news and not something I really
wanted to know. I could just imagine all the groupies and other girls
overflowing the store to see Nic.

     John’s smile widened and he threw me a wink. “Don’t you
worry about Nic, he treated them all impersonally. It was pretty funny
actually. Girls would come in trying their best to get his interest but he
would hide behind the counter looking put out by all the attention. Landon,
Blake and Evan lapped it up though.”

     The picture he was painting in my head had me laughing.

     “It was a stellar few weeks for lacrosse jerseys; we
sold out.” John commented laughing.

     “Maybe after a while I could fall sick for a week and
we could stock up on sweatshirts.” I joked.

     “Now you’re thinking like a salesman.” John held up his
hand for a high-five which I returned.

     It was the perfect way to come back, no awkwardness or
animosity.

     John’s expression turned somber suddenly. “Just to let
you know I came across the article on you that the reporter did…” My heart
dropped and my smile froze as John continued. So much for no awkwardness. “…and
I’m sure that there’s more to it, but it doesn’t matter to me. It was
heartbreaking to read what I did and I’m sure what wasn’t revealed is probably
worse, so I don’t want you worrying about what I might be thinking. The only
thought in my head is that you’re a damn good kid that had some really bad shit
happen in her life.” John squeezed my shoulder. “You’re a good person, don’t
let anybody make you think different, and no matter what remember that you have
friends who are there to help you. I think they’ve demonstrated that in the
last four weeks.”

     There was no way I couldn’t get choked up after that,
but I was able to reign in most of the water-works. “Thanks John.”

     He stepped back and cleared his throat. “Well, let’s
get to work then.”

     I couldn’t stop my grin at observing his
self-consciousness…guys and their inability to handle emotional
displays…sheesh.

     We went to work and it was basically a normal day apart
from all the girls that came in and then left when they realized there were no
lacrosse players working today. The constant bell ringing was going to haunt me
in my sleep. 

     At seven o’clock Blake came in to say hello to me. That
he was taking the time out of his schedule just to see me pleased me to no end.
It felt great to know I had family in my life again that cared about me.
Samantha had also called last night at around nine-thirty. Nic had been lying
in my bed at the dorm with me as we’d just finished making love and he’d
absently caressed my naked skin during my conversation with her. The soft
touches had been somewhat distracting but I was able to focus enough that for
fifteen minutes she and I had an enjoyable girl conversation about hair styles
and dresses she was considering for her upcoming junior prom in six weeks.
Again, it had been nice knowing that our relationship was growing.

     It was about twenty minutes to eight, Blake had left a
couple minutes ago, and I was restocking the lacrosse jerseys with new ones
that had been delivered today when the bell dinged yet again. I didn’t bother
to look as it had been going off all day.

     “Well if it isn’t UVA’s own murderess.”

     My stomach bottomed out and I spun to find the voice
spewing the malicious words. It was Beatrice. She must have read the article,
but at least she was alone. Unfortunately, there were several people milling
around looking at stuff that could hear her words and were looking our way with
interest. I could feel my face burning in embarrassment and anger, but I
decided my best course of action was to ignore her words.

     “Can I help you with something?” I asked in a strained
polite tone. I was at my job and I was going to make an attempt at being
courteous.

     Beatrice’s pretty face twisted into a nasty expression.
“I don’t need help from someone who killed her own father.”

     Even though I recognized she was being cruel to make me
feel bad because of Nic the words still hurt, but I didn’t feel any shortness
of breath like I would have two weeks ago. “Okay then.” Shoulder’s stiff I
turned back to the jersey’s hoping that would be the end of her taunting.

     There was a pause in which the door dinged again and my
hopes began to rise that she was going to walk away, but then she appeared in
front of me riffling through and destroying my organized pile of clothes. My
throat tightened at what she might say. I could feel the other people in the
background still hanging about probably hoping to overhear something else.

     “I just came in to see if Nic was working tonight.
We’ve been hanging out a lot lately. I’m sure he dumped you pretty quick when
he found out you killed your father and then was institutionalized. No one
wants to date someone certifiably crazy.” She threw a derisive smirk my way.

     Three weeks ago I would have been having a panic attack
about this time, but I was able to breathe through the anxiety wanting to take
hold of me. I wasn’t going to be weak any longer and succumb to the emotions
surrounding my father, or the fear of what people thought or what they might
say or do. And my trust in Nic was absolute so Beatrice’s comment held no water
with me. 

     “Beatrice, I know you’re lying about hanging out with
Nic because he and I are still seeing each other, and you really have no clue
on what you are talking about regardless of what you might have read in the
news.”

     Beatrice’s eyes narrowed infinitesimally as she seemed
to contemplate my words, but then her expression turned calculating. “That
might be what he wants you to believe.” She laughed condescendingly.

     “It’s what she knows to be true.”

     Too many voices were sneaking up on me, but I really
didn’t mind this one. I turned to see Nic walking toward us with a hard
expression on his face as he glared at Beatrice. When his gaze turned to me it
softened and warmed. “Hey, babe. Don’t tell me you’ve had to deal with bitches
like her all day?” He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close. 

     I gaped at him when the word ‘bitches’ came out of his
mouth, but then I thought that’s exactly what Beatrice was being. “Uh, no;
she’s the first one.” I answered glancing back at Beatrice.

     She looked confused, indignant, and furious all at
once. “You’re not really still with her are you, Nic? She killed her father and
is crazy for fuck sake.”

     Nic’s hard gaze zeroed in her again. “Like Carrie said,
you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. You’ve been coming in here
bugging the shit out of me for more than three weeks even though I haven’t
given you the time of day, and so you decide to spew your jealous malice on my
girlfriend. What’s it going to take for you to get a clue to leave us the fuck
alone?”

     I swallowed at the hard tone of Nic’s voice glad it
wasn’t directed at me; it would have put me in tears. That’s probably because I
loved him and those words would have killed me. However, Beatrice’s face kind
of froze up. Her lips tightened till they nearly disappeared and her eyes
flared with unholy hatred, and it seemed to be for the both of us. Her eyes
flickered around at the now
five
customers’ who’d stopped pretending
they weren’t listening to openly stare at us. John was even in the background
observing what was going on but appeared to have decided to let Nic deal with
it.

     Beatrice’s gaze returned to Nic and me. “Whatever…if
you want some psycho killer for a girlfriend than I don’t want you anyway.”
Then with a flip of her hair she walked away.

     “Wow, did she just break up with you?” I asked looking
after Beatrice’s retreating figure.

     Nic, John, and even the customers burst out laughing.

     “Damn, if anyone was psycho it was that girl.” One of
the male customers said giving me an admiring smile. He looked about Nic’s age
and I guess was relatively attractive. I never really noticed other guys much.
I never noticed them before Nic because I was too closed off and I never
noticed them now because of Nic. He was everything to me.

     Nic’s arm tightened around my waist pulling me closer.
I saw the customers gaze travel above my head and his smile dimmed slightly. He
lifted his hand and gave Nic a two finger salute. “Lucky bastard.” The guy gave
me a half smile before turning away.

     The rest of the customers followed suit and John
stepped forward to apologize for all the drama. Nic turned me around in his
arms. His expression was somber but the look in his eyes was fierce. I could
tell he was trying to keep his roused emotions contained. 

     “I heard you telling her off…” The right side of Nic’s
mouth curved up. “…in your own too nice of a way, and I have to say I’m proud
of you.” He leaned down to kiss me. “If she comes near you again tell her to
fuck off.” He whispered in my ear.

     I chuckled. “Uh, I’ll try.”

     He chuckled in return and raised his head. “I probably
shouldn’t hold my breath though, huh?”

     “Probably not.” I just couldn’t see myself saying that
to someone. I had a feeling if I tried it would just sound lame coming from my
lips.

     Nic’s hands rubbed up and down my arms. “So, besides
that witch, everything else went okay for you today?”

     I looked up into his concerned expression. “Everything
was good.” As I relayed this to him I knew that it wasn’t likely to stay that
way. This had only been the first day after the article. Word would spread; by Beatrice,
maybe Nikki, and other’s. It wouldn’t stay quiet for long, and I pledged that I
would keep it from Nic as long as I could. I didn’t need him worrying more than
his already did about me.

     I caressed my hand down his chest to his abdomen. “It’s
closing time, you wouldn’t by chance know someone who could give me a ride
home, do you?”

     The green of Nic’s eyes deepened. I saw desire burn in
them as his hands tightened on my arms pulling me closer. “As a matter of fact
I know just the person. “ Bending down he caressed my mouth softly. “I love
you.”

     My heart swelled. “I love you, too.”

     Two minutes later we were out the door and Nic was
driving me back to my dorm room, and when we got there he showed me in two
different ways how much he loved me.

∞                   
∞                    ∞

     The rest of the week went exactly as I thought it
would. Tuesday, in both my classes, I noticed a few curious glances thrown my
way with some whispering going on between seated classmates, and work seemed to
have more than the its normal share of customers exhibiting some serious
unrestrained staring with more whispering. They would then either leave without
buying anything or buy something random like a key chain or bumper sticker. 

     Wednesday’s classes and work consisted of yet more
people staring and whispering, and Thursday it was double that. By Friday all
the students in my class were going to have neck problems from all the head
craning they were doing, and work was going to sell out of key chains and
bumper stickers from all the indiscriminate shoppers stopping in. Although,
quite a few people splurged and bought more expensive merchandise, so at least
I felt like I was taking one for the store.

     The entire experience was extremely difficult, but I
told myself I was stronger than I was before. I wasn’t going to hang my head
and try to go unnoticed. I kept my head up and I looked people in the eye. Most
of them would look away, but there were those who stared unabashedly. Some
people were also very blatant with their whispering, not seeming to care if I
heard; either that, or they wanted to me hear.

     The words ‘murderer’ and ‘crazy’ made my gut clench and
nausea churn but I was able to breathe through it and keep a somewhat tranquil
expression. Because of my introverted manner I hadn’t made any close
associations or friends with anyone in my classes so I had to deal with it
mostly alone.

     However, not everyone was cruel, there were some people
who smiled at me with commiseration and others who would sit next to me and not
make a big deal out of who I was or what they had heard. In some way it seemed
like they were doing what they could to show me support in some sympathetic
manner.