Nic's Devotion: An Endless Series: Book One (21 page)

     “Carrie, what happened?” Nic’s anxious tone only had me
stiffening up more. How could he ask that with Beatrice still standing over
there staring at us? I tried pulling from his hold. The joy I’d felt earlier in
his arms was no longer there. God, I just wanted to cry again. He’d made me
feel so wanted, cherished, and then to have it all blow up in my face.

     “Carrie, what is it? What’s wrong?” He looked down at
me anxiously as I pushed back from him.

     “Nic, you might want to look behind you and ask that
question again.” Seth said tersely, dipping his head in Beatrice’s direction.

     Nic glanced in her direction and an annoyed expression
moved over his face, but then it changed to apprehension and his gaze arrowed
back to me.

     “Carrie, what you saw wasn’t what it seemed.”
Discomfort shifted across his face. If that wasn’t guilt I don’t know what was.
“That girl was someone I…” Nic rubbed the back of his neck and his face
flushed. Seth barked out a rough laugh.

     I looked back and forth between the two of them in hurt
bewilderment. Why would Seth show such concern for me and then laugh about
Nic’s duplicity? At least it felt like duplicity. I wasn’t sure if I had I
right to feel deceived, but I did.

     I don’t think I was ready for dating. This hurt as much
as my mom’s rejection and slap combined. 

Chapter Eighteen

Nic

     Carrie’s tear stained face was filled with hurt and
confusion, and she was looking anywhere but at me.

     When I’d first observed Seth and Carrie, him hovering
so near to her and holding her arm, anger had coursed through me thinking he
was making a move on her. I’d rushed over only to see Carrie in tears trying to
pull away from Seth’s hold on her arm, and then unqualified fury had overridden
the tepid anger of before.

     But Seth had backed off immediately and pointedly
turned my attention to what in fact had Carrie in tears; a chick that couldn’t
seem to understand the words ‘not interested’. She was the same girl who’d
waylaid me a little over a week ago after practice offering herself up to me on
a platter dressed in my jersey. I’d come across her a few more times and it was
the same thing. She’d offer I’d refuse. However, this time she’d not only offered
but had thrown herself at me latching onto my face like a vampire who’d hadn’t
seen blood in months. It had taken some serious muscle to get her detached, and
the whole time I’d been hoping that Carrie wouldn’t happen by and see.

     My luck seemed to have deserted me though, and now I
was faced with trying to explain to Carrie what really happened and the
underlying cause. Seth’s bark of amusement at my discomfort wasn’t helping
either. The sight of Carrie’s misery wasn’t a funny matter to me especially
after everything she’d just been through. Although, Seth didn’t look all that
amused; his eyes were boring into mine with clear anger.

     I could feel Carrie trying to pull away from the grasp
I had on her arm. Her eyes would flicker toward me than away just a quickly,
and the tears, pain, and disillusionment in them tore me up. Gripping both her
arms I leaned down so I could look straight into her eyes. I noticed that some
of the make-up had been wiped away from both cheeks revealing a slight yellow
discoloration on her right cheek, and black and blues around the cut on her
left. It pissed me off all over again seeing it uncovered, and knowing the pain
she’d had inflicted upon her both physically and emotionally, and now she was
dealing with my left-over shit. What a clusterfuck.

     “Carrie, I’m not sure what you saw, but that girl was
someone I’d…spent some time with… before you.” My face got hot again at having
to explain. “She came up to me and threw herself at me before I could stop
her.” Carrie’s gaze slide past me to the girl. “I wasn’t in anyway a willing
participant in that kiss.” My grip on her arms was gentle, but unyielding. I
wasn’t going to let her run away before she understood what really happened.

     Carrie went still at the end of my explanation a frown
puckering her brow. “Beatrice kissed you, but you didn’t kiss her?” She asked
slowly.

     I frowned. “Beatrice?” Who the hell was Beatrice?

     She looked up at me fully at last. “The girl kissing
you. Beatrice.”

     Shit, that’s what the girls name was. No wonder I
couldn’t remember it. Wait, now I remember; Bee, she’d told me her name was
Bee.

     Carrie returned my frown. “You didn’t even know her
name? I thought you had…sex with her.” She blushed at the word sex.

     Seth grunted as he held back what I knew was another
laugh, and if possible my face got hotter. Damn, this just got better.

     “I
knew
her as Bee,” I prevaricated. “But how do
you know her?”

     She gave a small wary shrug. “She introduced herself to
Amanda and me at your game and mentioned that she was going to give you a great
big congratulation on your win. Was that what she was doing?” Carrie’s asked. I
could see she was trying to sound sarcastic but it came out sounding upset.

     Ahh, Bee was the bimbo Amanda had been talking about.
“I don’t know what the hell she was doing. She’s been making a nuisance of
herself trying to get my notice, and today she went all gung-ho on me.” I
tightened my grip, not to the extent it would hurt, but so that she would
listen carefully. “I didn’t kiss her. I pulled her off as soon as I could
detach her from me.”

     Seth finally put a helpful two cents in. “I can confirm
that
Beatrice
has been an irritant and that Nic
has
run the other
way whenever she’s come near.”

     Carrie glanced over at Bee who was still standing where
I’d left her. Seth gave her a salute. Bee gave us all a glower and stomped off.

     “She must like you a lot.” Carrie whispered, staring
after Bee with uncertainty.

      Seth snorted. I groaned. This wasn’t good; she was
sympathizing. “What she liked was being linked with my name and a first string
lacrosse player. She didn’t care about me as a person. Remember the groupies I
told you about; well, she’s one of them.”

     “She must have liked you some to sleep with you. Did
you…hang out with her the way you do me?”

     “No!” I said emphatically, but doubt remained in her
eyes. She was thinking I was playing her. “Bee and I hooked up at a party. It
was just that one night.”

     I didn’t like revealing my douche-baggery. Hell, I
hadn’t even realized that I’d been a douche until I met her. She made me want
to be better, and she needed to know she was different. Pulling her close in a
hug I whispered in her ear wanting her to know how important she was.

     “God, Carrie, what’s going on between you and me is
nothing I’ve ever experienced before.”

     Hands that had been gripping my forearms tightly in
reservation relaxed at those words. She expelled a deep breath as her head
tilted forward to rest on to my chest. 

     “Oh, okay, me too.” Carrie breathed quietly into my
shirt.

     The double relief that swamped me at her reply almost brought
me to my knees; instead a laugh burst from me. I picked her up and hugged her.
“I’m glad.” I said swinging her side to side.

     “Is it time to eat now?” Seth broke in with a grunt.

     Setting Carrie down but keeping her next to my side I
slapped Seth on the back. “What in the hell are you doing here anyway?”

     “I was on my way to Manny’s.”

     I frowned. “Wouldn’t you be coming from the opposite
direction?” Seth’s Economics class was at the other end of campus. He wouldn’t
have driven past the cafeteria to get to Manny’s.

     An expression that was difficult to decipher passed
quickly over his face, but on a guess I would have said it was guilt. What
would he be feeling guilty about?

     “I had something to do over at the academic building.”
Seth grumbled.

     Huh, maybe it was just discomfort about something else.
“Well, we should hurry and get our lunch. Carrie doesn’t have much time before
she’s got to get going.” Frustration rolled through me because I’d wanted to
spend some time alone with Carrie, but Seth had really helped me out so I
wasn’t going to tell him to take a hike.

     We all walked into the cafeteria together and I held on
to Carrie’s hand firmly. The incident with Bee had been a close one; my past
coming up to bite me in the nads. Carrie could have believed what she’d seen
and walked away, but thankfully she’d trusted me in the end. Not that I would
have let her walk away. Just the idea of her cutting me out of her life left an
ache in my chest. I’d known her for barely two weeks but it’s like she’d become
the axis of my world. And that was a scary fucking thing.  

      We got our food quickly and found a table by a window.
That was the good thing about the cafeteria; the food was hot and ready, or
cold and ready depending on what you preferred. Carrie set her tray down on the
table, but then excused herself to go to the restroom. I knew she wanted to
check her face, not because she was vain, but because I’m sure she knew her
cover-up had washed away.

     As soon as she left Seth leaned forward from across the
table a fierce expression on his face and grumbled angrily. “What in the hell
happened to her face. At first I thought she might have just fallen, but her
other cheek has a mark too. It looks like someone smacked her around.”

     I knew my expression matched his when I answered. “I
don’t like divulging what she’s told me in confidence…” Seth was a good friend
and I knew out of anyone that I could trust him to keep his mouth shut. “That
day after our party her mom slapped her, slapped her so hard she knocked Carrie
into a door frame. Then she kicked her out of the house. Carrie didn’t say much
else, but from what her mother said to me when I called…” More anger rushed
through me. “She called Carrie a tramp. What kind of mother calls her daughter
a tramp? Especially since Carrie is the furthest thing from a tramp. The girl
screams innocence, wounded innocence.”

     Seth leaned back in his seat. He didn’t display any
shock at what I’d told him, his expression just became cold and hard. “Where’s
she staying?”

     I looked over my shoulder making sure Carrie wasn’t
going to come up on our conversation. “It actually gets worse. The only place
she felt she could go was the woman’s shelter.”

     Seth scowled. “Shit! She doesn’t have any other family
or friends she could stay with?”

     “She didn’t mention any other family, and from the
little time I’ve known her I can tell she doesn’t let people into her life
easily. Damn, the girl hardly has any free time to make friends; she’s working
when she’d not at class.”

     “She can’t stay at the shelter permanently, what she
going to do?”

     “She’s finally going to take advantage of her
scholarship. The school just needs a couple days to get the paperwork
completed. Hell, at least I won’t have to worry about her taking the bus any
longer.” I gave a derisive laugh; for all the shit she went through not having
to take the bus was the fucking silver lining.

     Seth’s gaze flickered behind me alerting me to Carrie’s
approach, and by the time she arrived we’d plastered careless expressions on
our faces. She gave us both an uncertain look like she wasn’t at all fooled by
our masquerade. 

     I leaned over and gave her a kiss on the mouth. It was
quick, not like the one I really wanted to give her. “You look great.” She’d
repaired the make-up to her bruises. I hated that she had to wear any.

     She smiled shyly and tilted her head forward causing
her loose hair to veil her face. Grabbing her fork she shifted her small salad
around.

     “Richman will be a little more difficult than the
Wesleyan’s game.” Seth commented. Picking up his loaded sub he took a bite.

     Handling my overflowing sub I grunted. “We’ll kick
their asses.”

     Carrie picked up her peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
One small sandwich and salad; how could she eat so little? “You guys have
another game this weekend?” She asked still looking self-conscious. 

      “Yeah, I was going to ask if you wanted to go again.
It’s on a Sunday so you won’t have to worry about work. It is out of town this
time, but Richman isn’t very far. Amanda will be going and I’m sure she would
love some company for the drive. The team has to drive down on the bus, but we
can all ride back together.” I gave her arm a nudge with my elbow. 

     She didn’t say anything at first and I couldn’t see her
expression as her head was tilted down. Seth raised a brow at her silence, and
unease settled in my gut. Was she still unsure of me?

     Each of us ate more of our food before Carrie finally
spoke. “Are you sure she wouldn’t mind me going with her?”

     I frowned. I thought she’d gotten pretty close to
Amanda last Saturday. Why would she think Amanda would mind?

     “I know she wouldn’t mind. She bugged me all day
Sunday, wondering when she would see you next.” I answered truthfully. Amanda
had been really concerned about Carrie’s reaction that night.

     One side of her mouth twisted up, not in a grin but in
contemplation. “I’ll have to wait and see right now. I don’t know when I’ll be
moving into the new room the school is setting up for me.”

     It was a possible explanation for her hesitation, but I
felt there was more. “Okay, but I want you to tell me when they set it up for
you because I’m going to help you move in.”