No-One Ever Has Sex on a Tuesday (28 page)

The image of Matthew in the labour room came flooding back to him, fighting him tooth and nail to convince Katy that she should ditch Ben for him. Was that his plan? He was back again to battle for Katy, but right in front of Alison this time?

‘Don’t do it,’ he said instinctively.

‘Don’t do what?’ challenged Matthew. ‘Tell you to stop harassing my wife, to stop taking advantage of her?’

‘Oh, that’s brilliant coming from you,’ he couldn’t help but throw back. ‘I have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about, unlike . . . unlike . . .’ He petered
out, realising he was entering dangerous territory. ‘And you haven’t answered my question. What are you both doing here
together
?’

‘We have Daniel with us,’ said Katy, standing on tiptoe to be seen over Matthew’s shoulder. ‘He’s here in the hall,’ she said directly to Ben.

‘Hello, one and all,’ came a high-pitched shout from somewhere out in the hall.

‘We weren’t . . . nothing . . . is going on,’ Katy continued, glancing nervously at Alison. ‘But quite clearly there is something going on here.’

‘Hang on a minute,’ said Alison, stepping out from behind the island to stand beside Ben. ‘I’ll tell you exactly what’s going on here, Katy. We are two stay-at-home parents pulling together in Ben’s hour of need when his fiancée couldn’t be bothered to be there for him.’

‘Excuse me,’ said Katy, pushing past Matthew to square up to Alison. ‘Is that what Ben’s been telling you?’

‘He didn’t have to,’ said Alison. ‘You ran back to work as fast as you could and left him stranded.’

‘You don’t have to defend me,’ said Ben, laying a hand on Alison’s arm.

Katy stood in shock at the contact between them.

‘I didn’t just leave him,’ she said. ‘He
wanted
to do it.’

‘Well, it’s just a good job I was there to do what you should have been doing,’ said Alison, putting her hands defiantly on her hips. ‘I’m sure Ben will agree with me.’

Katy felt her jaw drop slightly. Sickening thoughts were pouring into her head. Do what exactly? Be a mum, a partner? Or a lover? Surely not? She looked at Ben. He was studying the floor, failing to defend her.

‘Ben?’ she said. He looked up but didn’t say anything. ‘What’s going on?’ she asked.

‘Yes,
Ben
,’ said Matthew. ‘What
has
been going on?’

‘Nothing,’ Ben shouted back, almost speechless. ‘How can you two even think . . . how can you even dare to . . .’

‘You called her
eye candy
!’ accused Matthew.

Ben gasped.

‘No, I didn’t. Not really,’ he protested.

‘You did,’ cried Alison, turning to Ben.

‘I didn’t mean it like that,’ he said to her, then turned back to Matthew. ‘I was just trying to make her crack a smile, relax a bit, that’s all. Make her feel good. Alison isn’t . . . I wouldn’t . . . isn’t
really
what
I’d
call eye candy.’

There was a sudden flash of movement as though someone had turned the lights off and on really quickly, and the next minute both Alison and Katy were screaming as Ben fell to the floor, luckily onto the floral patterned rug, avoiding babies lying under baby gyms.

‘You hit me,’ exclaimed Ben, his hand flying to his lip and finding a smattering of blood.

‘Yes, I bloody well did,’ said Matthew, his jaw set and fists clenched at his sides. ‘Nobody insults Alison like that,’ he said firmly. ‘I think you’ll find that my wife
is
actually eye candy.’

‘Oh Matthew,’ gasped Alison, turning her attention away from Ben lying on the floor to gape at her husband. ‘I . . . I . . .’

‘But you are not
his
eye candy, nor anyone else’s for that matter. You are
my
eye candy,’ said Matthew, stepping forward and grasping Alison by the shoulders and staring deeply into her eyes.

Alison’s hands flew up to her mouth, her eyes wide in surprise.

‘You’re
my
eye candy and
my
wife too,’ he continued, ‘but I need you to
just
be my wife sometimes. Not a mother, not a teacher, not a helper, just my wife, Alison. Because I need her. I
want
her. I
love
her.’

Alison blinked back at him.

‘Will you be my wife, Alison?’ he urged, shaking her slightly by the shoulders.

‘I will,’ she whispered. ‘Oh Matthew,’ she said, stepping forward and falling into his arms.

Matthew closed his eyes and embraced her as silence fell on the room. When he opened his eyes again he fixed Ben with a glare over Alison’s shoulder then pushed her gently away from him and looked her in the eye.

‘So I think you should go now,’ he said to her.

‘What, me?’ she asked, startled.

‘Go on. You’re going out. I’m looking after Rebecca and George today.’

‘What, now?’

‘Yes. I presume your spreadsheet is on the desktop of the laptop?’

‘Yes, but—’

‘No buts. All I do all day is look at spreadsheets. I know spreadsheets. Breast milk in the fridge?’

‘Yes, but . . . that’s for emergencies.’

‘This is an emergency. I’m going to have the most stunning eye candy in Leeds on my arm tonight when we go out for dinner, so you’d better get down those shops and buy something to wear. Now off you go.’

‘Okay, okay, but you’ll—’

‘No buts.
Leave
,’ said Matthew, pushing her through the kitchen door. He ushered her out into the hall, closing the door behind them.

‘Take as long as you like,’ he continued, reaching for her coat. ‘I’m staying home all day.’

‘Don’t forget to—’

‘I am going to enjoy my children,’ said Matthew firmly. ‘I’ll be fine.
We’ll
be fine.’

Alison hovered for just a moment, looking quizzically into his eyes.

‘Of course,’ she nodded. ‘Actually, you’re right. You should enjoy them, that’s a really good idea. I don’t need to be in control of my children all the time, do I?’

‘That’s right, Alison,’ said Matthew. ‘Go and relax, and then we’ll try and have an entire meal at Grants tonight, shall we?’

‘I’d like that,’ she said, reaching up to kiss him on the cheek.

‘And then we’ll come home to bed,’ he said, catching her hand and squeezing it.

‘Matthew,’ she giggled, turning slightly pink. She turned to put her coat on and pick up her bag, then blew a kiss to her husband as she walked out the door.

Matthew closed the door behind her and turned to lean against it, heaving a great sigh.

‘Boy, was that a close shave,’ said Daniel, still sitting patiently on a chair in the hallway. ‘
You
could have lost everything there.’

Matthew looked up with a start.

‘Are you still here?’

‘I’ve been sitting quietly, not causing any trouble,’ Daniel said. ‘Would you like me to go with Alison? I think she could do with some styling tips.’

‘No,’ said Matthew just as the door flew open from the kitchen and Ben strode out. He looked at Daniel and Matthew, then took his coat from the rack and headed towards the front door.

‘Where are you going?’ cried Katy, running after him.

Ben stopped inches from the door and breathed in and out slowly. He turned to face her.

‘What were you thinking?’ he said. ‘Coming here with . . . him?’ He didn’t even look at Matthew, just gave him a cursory nod.

‘Because you were here, Ben,’ she whimpered. ‘Because you were with Alison and we couldn’t let it continue. We had to put a stop to it.’

He stared back at Katy, saying nothing.

‘Why would you do this?’ she asked. ‘Why turn to Alison? I don’t understand.’

Ben looked from Katy to Matthew then back to Katy.

‘That much is obvious,’ he declared.

He turned and left.

‘Go after him, then,’ urged Daniel, after the door slammed. ‘What are you standing there for looking like a Disney World cast member? Really, Katy, primary colours on a day like today. What were you thinking?’

She turned to look at Daniel, still trying to process exactly what had happened over the last few minutes.

‘Daniel’s right,’ said Matthew. ‘I think you’ve got some work to do with that one.’

‘I really don’t think you are in any position to offer me relationship advice,’ she said through gritted teeth.

He shrugged. ‘I think you’ll find that I handled the situation with Alison pretty well.’

‘I have to agree, actually,’ said Daniel. ‘Who’d have thought that all Alison wanted was for a caveman to claim her, pick her up, throw her over his shoulder and run into the woods with her. Genius move, Matthew. I commend you.’

Matthew nodded briefly. ‘Thank you. Wish I’d realised that about five years ago, though.’

‘I don’t care what Alison wants,’ stormed Katy. ‘What am
I
going to do?’

‘Go after him!’ Matthew and Daniel shouted in unison.

‘Right,’ she said, heading for the door. ‘I’m going.’ And then she was gone, door slammed behind her.

‘Three, two, one,’ said Daniel just as the door was flung open again.

‘How?’ she cried, poking her head around the door. ‘We got here in Matthew’s car.’

‘Well, I can’t go anywhere. I’m looking after my children,’ said Matthew.

‘What am I going to do?’ she asked in despair.

‘There’s a bus that goes from the end of the street into town,’ Matthew suggested.

‘Great, let’s go.’ Katy grabbed Daniel by the arm.

‘Are we seriously going in hot pursuit of someone on a
bus
?’ he complained. ‘Have you lost your mind, Katy?’

‘Well, have you got any better ideas?’ she asked. ‘I don’t see you whizzing round the corner on a motorbike with a side car so I can hop on and chase a Vauxhall Corsa round the streets of Leeds.’

‘I was quite enjoying that little scenario until you mentioned the words Vauxhall and Corsa,’ replied Daniel.

‘So have you got any better ideas?’ she demanded.

‘Why don’t we call a cab?’

‘I’m not going to stand here waiting for half an hour for a cab to turn up,’ she said furiously. ‘Not exactly what you’d call
going after him
, is it? More like letting him get as far away as possible before I get my arse into gear.’

‘Look, there’s no need for you to take your frustration out on me,’ said Daniel. ‘Let’s get a high-speed bus into town, then, in the absence of any other means of pursuit.’

‘Right,’ she said. ‘What are we waiting for? Let’s go.’

Matthew held up his hand. ‘You can’t go,’ he said.

‘Why not?’ she asked fearfully.

‘What about Millie?’

‘Oh my God!’ Katy’s hand flew up to her mouth. ‘I forgot all about her. I can’t believe it!’ She dashed into the kitchen to find Millie quite happily chewing on a plastic ring. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she said, kneeling down to touch her. ‘I didn’t mean to forget you, honestly I didn’t.’

‘Are we seriously going in hot pursuit, on a bus,’ said Daniel, appearing behind her, ‘with a
baby
? It’s hardly
CSI: Miami
.’

Katy looked up at him. ‘The hot pursuit will have to wait. I need to be a mum now. I think I’d better just take Millie home.’

‘You do realise you won’t be able to call it a hot pursuit, then, don’t you?’ he enquired. ‘Not after a delay of some hours when you do precisely nothing to catch up with him.’

‘I think Katy’s right,’ said Matthew, walking in with Rebecca in his arms. ‘She needs to act like a responsible parent.’

‘Oh fuck off, Matthew,’ said Daniel and Katy together.

Chapter Thirty

Katy stood outside the Brewery Tap and peered in through the window. She’d never been inside a microbrewery before. She wasn’t really sure what one was. Did they serve very small pints? Was the beer brewed by midgets? Probably not, because then it would be called a midget brewery, wouldn’t it? But would a midget brewery just be for midgets? The thoughts spun around in her head until she had to tell herself to stop because she was sounding like Braindead.

She really hoped Ben was in here. She’d been round all his other haunts and drawn a blank until she’d resorted to sitting and having a coffee to warm up and try and rack her brains as to where she might find him. A bizarre experience in a pub at eight o’clock at night, sitting alone with a coffee surrounded by middle-aged men supping bitter. It had been the quickest cup of coffee she’d ever drunk as she tried desperately to think of any places he’d mentioned recently. He wasn’t answering his phone and she was thinking of resorting to Braindead when she suddenly remembered him harping on about a microbrewery. Two possibilities in the city had been offered up by Google, and after drawing a blank at one where she’d been openly stared at by a scruffy-looking pair of heavy metal fans, she’d come literally to the last chance saloon: the Brewery Tap.

She pushed the door open and surveyed the room, conscious that she was overdressed for a microbrewery on a Monday night. She’d wanted to look nice for Ben, attractive, borderline eye candy, perhaps. She was wearing make-up and long sparkly earrings along with a vivid red wool jacket. Her long legs had now fully recovered from childbirth and were set off nicely by a very short black velvet skirt and knee-high suede boots.

She’d felt foolish, however, the minute she’d stepped into the first pub. No-one dressed that way on a Monday night in a back-street pub in the centre of Leeds. By the time she walked into the Brewery Tap she still wasn’t used to being appraised at the door. A loud wolf whistle greeted her and she was just about to turn and run when it was followed up by a familiar voice.

‘Fuck, me Katy. Microbrewery,
not
micro-skirt.’

Katy had never been so happy to hear Braindead. She scoured the room until she saw him and Ben sitting in the corner nursing their pints. Ben was looking at her expressionlessly. He lifted his pint and downed it as she walked towards them.

‘May I join you?’ she asked as she reached their table.

Ben nodded slowly as he placed his glass on the table.

She eased herself down onto a chair.

‘You had a good day, Katy?’ asked Braindead.

Katy and Ben slowly raised their heads to stare at him.

‘No, right, course not,’ said Braindead, nodding his head.